Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Cheese....With HOLES in It!

Look at this Swiss Cheese!  It has so many uses!
Friends, do you know there's cheese that has holes in it?  It's called "Swiss Cheese," and I think it's just genius! 

It's so versatile, this Swiss Cheese.  Why, a person such as myself can peer through the little holes in it. Trust me, this is a really useful use for Swiss Cheese. Seein' without bein' seen.  A very useful thing, don'tchya think?

Another thing I like about Swiss Cheese is that it looks like lace, a little bit.  Some of it looks like really mod lace with big holes in it, and others look like lacy-lace!  I love food that's pretty, AND...

DEEEEEEEEEELICIOUS!  That's the other thing I really like about Swiss Cheese, Friends!  It's just delicious!  Really tasty stuff!  I love eatin' it right out of the refrigerator, with my very hands. 

I've also enjoyed Swiss Cheese on a burger, rolled up with a pickle and ham, and I really like just eatin' it right outta the refrigerator.  I think that's my favorite. 

Friends, I'm so glad there's such a thing as Swiss Cheese.  Who doesn't love cheese with HOLES in it?  I certainly don't not love cheese with holes in it. ... Ummmm... no.  Yeah.  That's right!  I love cheese with holes in it! 

I love you, lots, Friends!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

TIPical Tuesday: How to Sneak Up On Somebody!

I am an expert sneaker-upper!
Hiya, Friends!  How are you?  Top o' the Tuesday to you!

I have a really great tip to offer you on Tuesday.  It's so great, in fact, that I'm gonna wanna hafta call this "TIPical Tuesday" in its honor.

Today, I'm gonna teach ya how to sneak up on somebody, Zoe-style!

The first thing you're gonna wanna hafta do is identify upon whom you'd like to sneak.  In this example, I'll sneak up on my pal Rozzie.  Observe:

The next thing you're gonna wanna hafta do is announce in your most exuberant voice that you're sneakin' up on that person.  Something like this: "Hey, Mah-meeee!  I'm sneakin' up on you!" oughtta do the trick. 

Surpriiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeezzzzzzz!  I gotchyoo!
Here's the fun part. The sneaky part.  You've gotta run right at your person, full bore.  This works best if you're not outside on soft squooshy grass or on a solid cement floor.  I'm tellin' you you wanna hafta be on a floor that has at least just the slightest amount of give to it.  Like a hardwood floor on a floor over the basement, or on the second floor.  Maybe a porch floor.

Then when you get to your person you're sneakin' up on, you jump in front of 'em, and yell "SURPRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIZZZZZZE!"

WHEEEEE!  That's fun! 

Friends, no matter what you've heard, this is how to sneak up on somebody.  It's a lot more fun than bein' all quiet and skulky. 

I love ya lots, Friends!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Monday, April 28, 2014

It's Monday All Over Again!

Boy, it seems like Mondays come awfully fast!
Hiya, Friends!  Today's a big day.  It's my Gramma's birthday!  So I wanna say HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GRAMMA!  Right now! 


Now then.  How was your weekend, Friends?  Mine was HUGE!  Lemme wanna tell you all about it!

Friday, my pal Rozzie went for her bath she gets every month.  I got to go with Mommy to pick up Rozzie, and while we were waiting for Rozzie, I met a really cute and fluffy and sweet little kitty cat named Seymour!

Seymour and I hit it off instantly, but I can't have a kitty in my house, on accounta Daddy bein' honest to goodness allergic.  And Seymour already has a really great home.

Everybody who got a new swingset this weekend, raise your hand!
Of course, the highlight of the day, besides meeting Seymour and getting to bring Rozzie home all clean-n-shiny, was takin' the ol' Jeep through the car wash.  I LOVE those carwashes, Friends!  My favorite thing is the fruity-smelling rainbow foam.

Saturday was a pretty neato day, actually, too.  I thought I was gonna hafta wanna go up for my nap when Daddy asked me if I wanted to go pick out a swing and a slide.  Did I wanna pick out a swing and a slide?

YOU BETCHYA!  I've been wantin' a swing and a slide for ages now!  I thought Daddy was bein' a hold-out, because whenever I'd bring up my want of a swing and a slide, Daddy'd do that thing where he doesn't say anything, so I thought I was bein' pocket-vetoed on the subject.  I wasn't, though!

Yeah, I'm a pretty happy camper right now!
At first, I thought I wanted one of those big, fancy wooden tree-house swing sets.  The more I thought about it, though, the more I realized I wanted to just keep things simple, so now I have a really cool, simple metal swingset made up of a slide, a two-person glider-swing, two regular swings, a trapeze, and a teeter-totter.  I just love it!

What I love the most about my swingset is that I picked it out Saturday at the dang ol' Toys'R'Us, we brought it home in the pickup truck, and after a few hours yesterday, it was all put up and I could play on it!

We'd still be tryin' to dig a level spot in the lawn for one of those big, fancy, wooden swing sets, Friends!  And when you're my age, the best payoff is bein' able to get right down to the play as soon as possible!  Kids my age have serious playin' to do!

I named my new swingset "Seymour the Swingset" in honor of that cute little kitty cat I met the other day.  I can't wait to tell Seymour the kitty cat all about Seymour the swingset the next time I see him! 

In the meantime, Friends, you're gonna hafta wanna hear all about it, though.  Sorry!  This is a big deal for me, finally having a swing and a slide to call my very own.  It's big excitement.  I'll try to temper my enthusiasm, though, so I don't bore the heck right outta ya.

I love ya, Friends!  I'll be seein' you tomorrow!  Muah!

Sunday, April 27, 2014

Planet Sparkle

There's a whole entire planet made out of diamond!
Friends!  Did you know this?  Did you know there's a whole PLANET made out of DIAMOND?  It's only 40 light-years away, which is still pretty far, but I love thinkin' about that planet and how it must twinkle and shine as it goes about its celestial business.

I read all about it in my Big Board Book of Little Facts About the Universe: A Comprehensive Guide to Things That'll Make You Go 'What?!'  As it turns out, this diamond planet is called 55 Cancri e (not a very fitting name for a diamond planet, so I'm gonna call this planet Planet Sparkle) and it orbits a sunlike star that's the aforementioned 40 light-years away from where we live. 
I shall call the diamond planet Planet Sparkle!

Planet Sparkle is really close to its sunlike star, which is what you'd expect from a diamond planet, I'd think.  As a result, Planet Sparkle is literally a hot little number.  Like 3,900 degrees hot.

And I thought it was hot around here in August.  Nothing like 4,000 degrees, though!  Wooo-wheeee!

I guess how Planet Sparkle came to be Planet Sparkle is that it has what's called a carbon mantel.  Even our Earth has a mantel.  Our Earth's mantel is made up of rocky oxygen, silicon, and magnesium.  Not the stuff diamonds are made of, from my reading. 

Imagine a whole SOLAR SYSTEM of gemstone planets!
The magic of Planet Sparkle lies in its carbon mantel, and how close it is to its starlike sun.  I guess all that carbon and all that heat, and whatever geological craziness ensues on such a planet all add up to making a mass of pure diamond.  How about that?!

I'd just like to stop and think for a minute about what a planet made of pure diamond must look like.  Do you think that if you look at Planet Sparkle just so, if the sparkle off the planet's sun is blinding to any nearby space aliens.  OR, you know how you can set something on fire using a prism and the sun?  I wonder if Planet Sparkle has ever accidentally aligned with its sunlike star and set any other planets on fire.  Maybe that's where Darth Vader got the idea for the Death Star.  I don't know. 

Could you imagine a whole entire solar system of gemstone planets, Friends?  Wow!

Saturday, April 26, 2014

Squash Those Litterbugs: Reduce, Reuse, Recycle!

I'm serious about not littering.  It's bad!
Hiya, Friends!  I wanna hafta talk to you about something really serious today, mmmmkay? 

Yesterday, I was riding in the Jeep with Mommy and Rozzie, and I couldn't help noticing all the garbage in the ditches alongside the road.  It was disheartening!

To make matters worse, after we went out to eat in Wellsville, we took a scenic route home and took this really neat, twisty back road into dang ol' Whitesville, and I saw that the sides of the road on that back road were all junked up, too! 

All that pretty scenery made a dumping-ground!  How rude!

Big People, it made me wonder why people litter like that.  Is there a garbage can shortage?
Don't worry. Recyclin' and reusin' can be super fun!
Haven't the Litterbugs ever learned how to use a garbage can?

I really don't know!  That's why I'm asking!  I just don't understand why anybody would think it's okay just to throw their trash out their car window and keep on driving.

It really isn't okay.  It uglies everything up, Friends.  Don't you agree?  It makes everything look ugly when there's garbage laying all over it. 

Now I understand why my pal Sabretooth is so passionate about recycling, even when it isn't Earth Day.  The Earth needs an enforcer to take care of it, because apparently some of us are dropping the ball as we throw our litter out the car window!  What a shame!
Think outta the box and be creative when you reuse stuff!

I have a solution.  It's simple.  Reduce the amount of stuff you throw away.  Reuse the things you can.  For instance, I found some neat pumpers in the drawer in the kitchen, and insteadda puttin' them in the garbage, I discovered that they made some really great antennae. 

Reuse things.  Think outta the box.  Things that can't be reused, recycle 'em.  It's really easy!  In some communities, you just put your recyclables in a separate bin and send it to the curb.  Where I live, you've gotta sort your recyclables by type and take 'em to the transfer station yourself, but even that isn't SO hard.

Finally, if you're drivin' around, and you've got garbage in your car, don't throw it out the window!  That's nasty behavior, and if you do it, you should be ashamed of yourself.  Seriously.  Consider yourself shamed by a toddler for being a litterbug.  This is MY world you're messin' up.  Well, your world, too.  SO.  If you're drivin' around and you generate some garbage from snacks and such, collect it in a bag, and put it in the trash at the next gas stop you make.  They have trash bins right at the pumps, usually.  They have trash bins outside the store.  If you aren't stopping, keep your trash in the bag you've collected it in until you get home, and then put it in your trash.  It's just that simple.

It really is, Friends.  We're all in this together.  No matter what else you do, at the very least, don't junk up outside with litter.  Please, Friends!

Friday, April 25, 2014

It's April the Twenty-Fifth

Rozzie and I are havin' creative differences.
Hiya, Friends!  Happy Friday, and Happy April the Twenty-Fifth!  You know what that means.  Now, yesterday, you'll remember that Rozzie and I got into a bit of a spat over the subject matter of my post.  You'll also notice that Rozzie is not appearing in today's pictures.  We'll be friends again eventually, but right now, we're indulging in some creative differences.

Oh, you know.  It happens to everybody who works creatively and collaboratively with someone else.  Creative differences are bound to pop up.  Or seep in.  Sometimes, it's a slow process, the creative differences rearing their heads.

Rozzie didn't agree with the content and theme of my post yesterday.  Apparently she's part of the "Keep Christmas in December" movement.  You know the people.  They don't wanna see or hear anything about the jolliest of holidays until December First, and even then, they say keep it in moderation.
Oh, yes, we're still friends.  We're just not speakin' right now.

You mean you've never heard of the Keep Christmas in December Movement?  It's a thing.  I don't subscribe to it.  But it's a thing.  You might even belong to it yourself, and you just didn't realize it. 

As for me, I'm part of the Acknowledging the Twenty-Fourth and Twenty-Fifth of Every Month For What It Is And Keep A Little Bit Of Christmas With You Always Movement.

Well, it's a thing if I say I'm part of it!  Maybe it's a movement that I'm starting!  I move all the time.  I never stand still.  How about that?
I'm not sure if she's mad at me, or I'm mad at her.

You know, Rozzie also fails to acknowledge the legitimacy of my movement, and you've seen where she is, as far as I'm concerned.  In the doghouse.  Except, she's an actual dog, so bein' in a doghouse isn't that much of a stretch for her.  It's not like it's the punishment it'd be if YOU were in the doghouse.

I mean, knowin' Rozzie like we all do, I betchya that if she had a doghouse for real, it'd be a pretty swanky structure.  I bet she'd have radiant heat floors, Greenies on demand, premium cable, a massaging memory foam mattress. 

Rozzie knows how to live well, Friends.
Awwwww, I can't stay mad at my best pal!  I'm gonna go hug Rozzie!

You know, it's that very bon vivant nature of Rozzie's that makes it impossible for me to stay mad at her, even if we're disagreeing over the proper time to talk about Christmas.  Rozzie's taught me a lot about the finer things in life.  She's also taught me how to have good character, how to be patient, how to be nice to people and animals, and how to cook up a mean plate of pierogis.  For real.  That Rozzie is multitalented!

I can't stay mad at her, even if we are on opposite sides of this twenty-fifth of the month debate.  I've gotta go find her.  I've gotta give her a big hug.  I love that dog!

I love you, too, Friends!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Thursday, April 24, 2014

Guess What Today Is!

Rozzie told me not to bring it up about Christmas Eve today.
Hiya, Friends!  Happy Thursday!  Well, as you know, it's the Twenty-Fourth of the Month.  By now, you oughtta know that every Twenty-Fourth, I send you a friendly reminder that Christmas Eve is just X amount of months away, and today is no different. 

Friends, Christmas Eve is a mere eight months away.  That's all I'm gonna say, so plan accordingly.  Don't leave things off until the last minute.

While I respect Rozzie's advice, I'm gonna bring it up anyway, because I care.
I still don't see what the big deal is.  I'm not sayin' I wanna hafta fast-forward through all the months between now and Christmas.  I'm not sayin' I wanna hafta have Christmas every month.  That'd be too much.
I know Rozzie's glarin' at me.  I'm not backin' down.  Christmas Eve is important to me.

I'm just stating the obvious, Friends.  Anybody with a calendar could count backwards from Christmas Eve to today, or count forwards from today to Christmas Eve.  Anybody could do it.

I don't understand why people get all skinny around the nose when Christmas is mentioned.  It's funny how, when Christmas is here, everybody's all like "oooooh! I LOVE Christmas! It's my FAVORITE time of year!"

I have ears.  I can hear ya, Friends.  But the rest of the year, it's all "Boo!  Hiss!  Christmas!  You stink for pointing out it's only eight months away from Christmas Eve."

I'm not tryin' to stir the pot, Friends.  I just think it's better to acknowledge that Christmas is on the way, and plan accordingly.  It's how Santa gets through the holidays without gettin' all cranky-pants.

Rozzie and I have agreed to disagree.  This is MY blog, and I'll talk about Christmas if I wanna.
Why, in fact, Santa Claus has LOTS to do at the tail-end part of the year, and he manages to maintain jolliness, just the same.  How does he do it?


That's why I talk about it so much.  I love ya lots, Friends!  Muah!

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Back to Win, Lose, or Draw Team Practice!

Well, I'm back on the company WLoD team, so here I am at practice!
Hiya, Friends!  Happy Wednesday! 

It sure seems like whenever I get involved in something, my future in that something grows questionable.  How many times have I expressed concern over the possibility of my Facebook show coming to a sudden stop? 

(Lots.  The answer's lots of times.  I realize that some of you aren't on the Facebook to know.  But my Facebook show is in constant limbo.)

Gotta make sure all my angles, lines, and curves are in the right spots!
Well, my participation on various Win, Lose, or Draw teams has been questionable, too.  I don't know what it is.  I'm not a bad Win, Lose, or Drawer, but it seems as though I have trouble gettin' on the same wavelength as my teammates. 

The other day, I used the Jolly Green crayon to draw the Jolly Green Giant, and people were all up in arms, because I didn't draw a Jolly Green Regular Person for them to compare with the Jolly Green Giant.  My team lost the game, and I was put on the Loser Bench.

It sure feels good to be back on the team!
Boy, was that upsetting.  I mean, our loss was the responsibility of all of us, but I was the fall girl.  I was the only one put on the Loser Bench.

That wasn't even the first time a Win, Lose, or Draw team and I couldn't get on the same wavelength.  Another time, the answer was "Cupcake," so I drew a really neat-looking cupcake, with a pleated wrapper, and icing, and sprinkles.  It was an epic cupcake.  What did my team guess it was?  Oh, hospital, ambulance, heart attack, stroke, hospice unit.

What?!  I don't know where they get these things, either. 

All is not lost, though.  I'm back on the team.  I've been given another chance.  I'm gonna make the most of it.  My chance at redemption.  I'm back on the team, and this time, we're gonna be Winners!  Rah!

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Earth Day Enforcer

It's Earth Day, Friends!  Remember to be kind to Planet Earth today!  And everyday!
Hiya, Friends!  How's your Tuesday going for you so far?  I'm doin' all right.  It's Earth Day, you know! 

That means that there's a lot going on at the office. From the looks of the pictures, you'd think I was at my job where I fill out TPS Reports, but in reality, I'm on a field assignment for my internship at St. Laffalotatus- Mercy-Mercy Hospital.  Wanna know why?

Like I said, it's Earth Day.  And if you don't know it, my pal Sabretooth is PASSIONATE about savin' the Earth.  At his job with the Buffalo Sabres, he's on the Green Team.  (Blue and Gold make Green!)  At our office, Sabretooth is known as the Earth Day Enforcer.

He really lives up to that nickname, Friends. 

You see, if he catches somebody trying to throw away a recyclable in the regular garbage, Sabretooth will tackle that person, make 'em fish out their recyclable from the regular garbage, and then put it in the appropriate recycling tote.  He does this without fail.

That's why I'm here.  For the people who try to bypass the company's recycling initiative, who find themselves on Sabretooth's bad side. 

You see, if Sabretooth encounters a stubborn non-recycler, he snaps into Enforcer Mode.  If things escalate, and they usually do with the stubborn ones, the offending party ends up taking a tour of the inside of the recycle bin, or if they're especially pernicious, Sabretooth sends 'em on a private tour of the regular garbage tote. 

Oooooh!  Sabretooth just stuffed Sour Girl into the regular garbage can!  Hahaha.
Personally, I think it's easier to just toss the recyclables in the appropriate containers. It's even a little fun!  Plus, it doesn't get Sabretooth started.

But I'm here to take care of the scrapes, bumps, and other injuries incurred during Sabretooth's Earth Day Enforcing.

Earlier today, Sabretooth stuffed Sour Girl into the regular garbage bin.  Now, thing about Sour Girl is that she's a recycler.  She's quite self-righteous about it.  Insufferable, really.  I mean, you can be good about being good to the Earth and not be such a jerkface about it.  For example, no matter how much the rest of us do to recycle and take care of the Earth, it's never enough for Sour Girl.  You recycle?  That's cute.  But if you're still using disposable toilet paper, you're not environmentally friendly enough, according to Sour Girl.  You take the North Bingham Underground to work?  You're a dirty polluter!  You should walk or ride a bicycle, no matter where you're going, how far away it is, how much you've gotta carry, or what the weather's like.  You cook with a microwave, electricity, or gas?  You should be using sun power, poseur!  Cooks chicken in four days!  Just plan ahead!

I suspect that Sabretooth got sick of Sour Girl's self-righteousness, and also, I've mentioned before how none of us likes Sour Girl around here, so you can imagine how a strong personality like Sabretooth's would clash with someone who's mean for the sake of bein' mean like Sour Girl. 

All's I know is that I came around the corner, and saw Sabretooth stickin' Sour Girl head-first into the regular garbage can.  All's you could see of her were her stupid feet stickin' up out of the tote, kicking, kicking, kicking.  I felt a little bad for her, but on the other hand, she was being insufferable with me, earlier, because I don't recycle my sutures I do for people.

Friends, I don't care what Sour Girl says.  Any doctor you see that recycles their sutures, needles, and syringes... run the heck out of there and find another doctor.  There's being environmentally conscious, and then there's being mental.  Sour Girl definitely falls into the "mental" category.  In so many ways. 

I think Sabretooth can be forgiven for his lapse of temper with Sour Girl today.  He just gets excited, takin' out the trash!

I like makin' a difference every day, Friends!  Not just on Earth Day! 
Anyway, it IS Earth Day.  Do what you can for the environment today, Big People.  Do what you can for the environment every day, Friends.  Switch to a reusable metal or glass water bottle.  If you like plastic water bottles, get yourself a nicey sturdy plastic water bottle, use it every day, wash it every night, and refill it, insteadda buyin' a buncha disposable beverage bottles.  If you do find yourself usin' disposable plastic things, see that they find their way to the recycle bin, instead of the regular trash container.  Shred and recycle your papers. 

Just do your best, Friends.  Every little bit helps.  And remember to be gentle with your fellow human beings on this topic, Big People.  Don't be mean or preachy.  Don't be a jerkface about it.  Otherwise, Sabretooth might be lookin' for an excuse to stuff you headfirst into a garbage can like he did Sour Girl.

Okay, Friends!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Remember to recycle!  I love ya lots, Friends!  Muah!"

Monday, April 21, 2014

Win, Loser, Draw! A Pictorial Post!

Come on, Team! Just shout out the picture! It's so obvious!
Hiya, Friends!  Happy Day After Easter!  Please enjoy some pictures of me participating on the St. Laffalotatus- Mercy-Mercy Hospital varsity Win, Lose, or Draw! team.  In this series, we were taking on the attendings at OmniCare Healing Center.  They were a tough bunch for us to go uppagainst. 

How could they not get it?  It was Jolly Green Giant!  I used the Jolly Green crayon!
We totally lost to OmniCare, Friends.  We did.
Of course, just as in all things, my team and I were our own worst enemies.  We weren't even on the same wavelength.  My thing to draw was "Jolly Green Giant."  So I drew a giant with the Jolly Green crayon.  Do you have any idea how hard Jolly Green crayons are to come by?  And I had one right in my hand during our game!  It shoulda been obvious to my team!

Thanks for the PB, Rozzie!  It sure makes me feel better!
But I didn't draw a Jolly Green Little Guy for my team to compare against the Jolly Green Giant, so they guessed all sortsa stuff that my drawing wasn't. That's no way to win Win, Lose, or Draw! Friends.  Not on the varsity level.  Maybe you can get away with that kinda lackadaisical guessing on an intramural beginner's team, but not when you're competing on a varsity level.  It just can't be done.

As a result, we lost. There's always next year, but I'm not gonna lie.  This is gonna haunt me for a little while, Friends.  In time, I'll be okay, but right now, it sure stings.

To make me feel a little better, my pal Rozzie brought me some peanut butter on a spoon.  She said sometimes us spirit-lift doctors need our spirits lifted ourselves, and she's right.  I sure needed my spirits lifted after that disastrous game of Win, Lose, or Draw! 

Hey, I'll see ya tomorrow, Friends!  I love ya lots!  And a word to the wise, if somebody takes the time to find the Jolly Green crayon, just go with your gut and assume they're drawing the Jolly Green Giant.  Don't give the other team a chance to steal.  Don't quibble over how the draw-er didn't draw a Jolly Green little person for comparison. 


Sunday, April 20, 2014

Happy Easter To Ya, Friends!

Happy Easter, Friends!
Hiya, Friends!  Hey.  Today's the big day.  It's Easter Sunday!  Have you enjoyed an egg hunt?  Whatchya got planned for the rest of the day?

Are you gonna have an Easter Feast?  Would ya call it a Feaster? 

You know what I hope to have at my Feaster?  Creme Eggs, of course, and Jelly Beans, because they're the musical fruit.  Some wheatgrass juice.  I'm not sure if that's delicious or not, but when I think "Easter," I think of that crazy plastic grass, and I'm pretty sure THAT isn't very appetizing, if you can even get juice out of that grass.
Get out and do the Bonnet Boogie!

Another thing I'd like to make sure to have at my Feaster is a Bonnet Boogie.  It's a dance where you wear all your Easter finery, especially your Easter Bonnet, and you just dance like nobody's watching.

I've been learning the Bunny Hop for the occasion. 

Happy Easter Feaster, Friends!  I love ya lots!  Muah!

Saturday, April 19, 2014

The Truth Comes Out, and It Hurts

Hey, Rozzie.  What would you think if we got a pet bunny?
Hiya, Friends!  Well, as you know, about a month ago, my best pal Rozzie had to have surgery on her ear.  But we're always lookin' for a silver lining, and the silver lining about Rozzie's ear surgery, at least for me, is that I got to meet a great bunny at the vet's.  I got to go right into the room where the bunny's cage was.

Oh, Friends, he was such a nice bunny!  It got me to thinkin' that I'd like to have a pet bunny of my very own.  The kids on Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood have a bunny in their class named Class Pet, I think.  Or maybe they call it Bunny.  I think if I had a pet bunny of my own, though, I'd name it Class Pet in honor of that bunny on Daniel Tiger. 

I figured if anybody would back me up in my presentation to Mommy and Daddy, persuading them to let us get a pet bunny, Rozzie would be my ally.  Rozzie oughtta wanna love other cute and fuzzy little animals, since she is a cute and fuzzy animal.

She says she wouldn't think much of us gettin' a pet bunny, and furthermore...
Here's the thing.  I brought it up to Rozzie, and she went the heck off on me.  She went right the heck off.  Do you know the things my pal Rozzie said to me?  Well, I'm gonna tell ya the things my pal Rozzie said to me, regarding my desire to adopt a pet bunny, all of my own.

Rozzie said that she has no interest in sharing her house with a pet bunny.  She even went so far as to say that Mommy and Daddy were really pushing it when they brought me home from the hospital.  A pet bunny would be the last straw, Rozzie said.

I don't even know what to say to all this, Friends.  I thought Rozzie was my FRIEND!  I thought she was my PAL!  Now I've found out she thinks Mommy and Daddy were "pushing it" when they brought me home?  If I wasn't gonna live here in my home, where does Rozzie expect me to live, Friends?  Where?  I'm just a little kid!

The truth hurts, Friends.  I know that Rozzie likes me well enough.  I just she woulda said she didn't want us to get a pet bunny, and left it at that, though.  She didn't hafta go into all that detail.  I coulda done without knowing she wasn't crazy about the idea of me.

...Mommy and Daddy were pushing it, bringing me home.  Ouch, Rozzie!  Ouch!
But hey.  Rozzie eventually came around to me.  I'm not gonna let this all make me sad, then, Friends.  I'll keep workin' on Rozzie.  Maybe she'll come around to the idea of Class Pet. 

Even if I'm a little miffed at my pal Rozzie right now, I do really love the heck right out of her.  I really do, Friends.  And I love ya lots, too!  Muah!

Friday, April 18, 2014


Darn it!  Outta ink AGAIN!
Hiya, Friends!  Happy Good Friday to you! 

Boy, I'll tellya what.  Yesterday, remember how I told ya all about the new TPS Report Forms.  Did it make ya tired?  'Cause dealin' with those forms definitely makes ME tired!

Well, today, I'm dealin' with pens that I have and I expect for them to write.  I trust them to write when I need 'em.  Especially since we're allowed to use only specific pens on our TPS Reports.  We can't just grab up any old PaperMate or Bic ball-point.  We have special pens.

Come on, inkpen! Just a few more TPS Reports!
Thing about these special pens?  They have about three drops of ink in 'em before they run the heck right out! 

You can imagine how frus-ter-ating it is to be in the middle of doing a job you don't like to do- filling out TPS Reports- and havin' to go searching for a handful of TPS-approved pens, just to get you through one TPS Report.  I'm sure you can imagine how frus-ter-ating that is, so I won't belabor my frusteration at the whole thing.  Just trust that it's there. Seething. 

I'm orderin' more inkpen refils.  It's gonna be a long Friday.

Does frustration seethe, Friends?  I've never thought about it before.  Jealousy can seethe.  But I've never thought about what frustration does.  Maybe frustration boils.

Whatever frustration does, that's what's happening here with these TPS Report-suited inkpens, Friends!

You know what this is, Friends.  Bureaucracy run amok.  "BureauCRAZY," if you will.  I work in a bureaucrazy. 


On the bright side, and there always is a bright side, Friends, it's Friday, and not just any Friday.  It's Good Friday.  I say we just go ahead and make it Great Friday, mmmmkay?  I love ya lots!  I'll see ya tomorrow! Muah!

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Back in the Wheelie Chair!

No, I still don't know what a TPS Report is for.
Hiya, Big People!  How are you this Thursday?  I'm doin' well!  I hope you are!

We've had a lot goin' on at the office lately.  Big projects. 

Well, one big project. 

They changed the colors of the triplicate forms of our TPS Reports. See, before this switch over, the top copy was eggshell, the middle form was salmon, and the bottom form was lemon. 

Now, the top copy is canary, which sort of looks like lemon, but a little different.  Not as different from lemon as goldenrod is, but not quite the same as sunray is. 
So the new colors aren't meaningful, just delightfully confusing.

The middle form is lavender now.  At least lavender isn't anything like salmon. 

The bottom form that usedta be lemon is now lime.  Just a shift in the citrus, really, going from lemon to lime.  I can deal with that.  That's not awful.

The twist is they added two forms.  One between the top and middle, and another between the middle and bottom.  They are... lemme wanna check, 'cause I'm not used to them being there, yet... yep!  The second form is carnation and the fourth form is robin's egg.  It's kind of a nice poppa bluish color, if ya ask me.

The colors didn't make the TPS go away, but at least there's something new to look at!
I don't know what those other two forms are for, or where in the building they even go.  I'm not sure they stay in the building.  I don't even know what the original forms were for to start with.  Now there's two more forms that I know even less about.

That's the big project around here.  New TPS Report forms.  New colors.  Still don't know what it's all for.  Wish I could report to you what a TPS Report with all its quintuple forms is all about.  That would be a groundbreaking web log post.  Unfortunately, despite all this hard work, I have no answer for you to report. 

I can't tell you how much that breaks my heart.  Lotsa heart-breakage going on.  Oh, these TPS Reports.

But.  I'm back in the wheelie chair, Friends.  Feels good.  I'll see ya tomorrow.  I love ya lots!  Muah!

Wednesday, April 16, 2014


Hey, it's Wednesday again!
Hiya, Friends!  Well, Happy Wednesday the Sixteenth!  Didja survive Tax Day? 

Oh, my goodness, has it ever been crazylicious the last few days around here!  I call it crazylicious because I feel like I've been on a dead run- that's the crazy part, but it's been fun, which is the licious part.  Like DEEEEEEEEELICIOUS!  You know what I mean?

Don't be a sucker, Friends! Make the most of today!

See what I did there?  I'm eating a sucker, and I told you not to be one!  Hahaha!  That's a funny joke, right there!
It feels good to have a blog post with at least a few words in it, Friends!  When I wrap up the crazyliciousness, I'll get to hafta wanna talk to you more.  But in the meantime, I sure do appreciate your patience with me.  I love the heck right outta ya, Friends!  I really do!  See ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Happy Tax Day!

Awwww, Big People! I know you gotta pay your taxes today!  Bless your hearts!

I know it hurts to hafta pay your taxes.  I get it.  I really do. 

But. Go get yourself a cupcake and try to make the best of it, mmmmkay?  I love ya!  Muah!

Monday, April 14, 2014

Easter's Less Than A Week Away!

Easter Bunny costumes are kinda creepy.
Hiya, Friends!  Didja know that Easter's less than a week away?  Have ya given any more thought to what you wanna find in your Easter basket on Sunday?  Have ya given it any more thought at all?

I sort of have.  The other day I was at the mall, and the Easter Bunny was there.  Not the real Easter Bunny.  Of course not the real Easter Bunny.  The real Easter Bunny has helpers.

Their faces don't move.  Isn't that weird?
I'll take Santa Claus any day.  At least his face moves!
One of those helpers is at my Mall, Friends.

All I wanted to do was look at that pretty fountain in the middle of the Mall.  That's all I wanted to do.  But there was that Easter Bunny's helper.

Mommy and Daddy wanted me to have my picture taken with that Bunny's helper.  Unfortunately (by that I mean, 'hooray!'), the Easter Bunny's helper was going on break.  I missed him.  But he walked right near me and waved.

I went back to lookin' at the coins in my beloved fountain.  I want one of those fountains in my Easter basket, Friends.  That way, I can get people to throw in their money, and I can buy all the Easter candy I could ever want.  I'll buy some for you, too, with my fountain-money!

Friends, I love the daylights right outta you.  I also love that your face moves.  Things whose faces don't move are kinda creepy!