Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Bye-Bye, March!

À bientôt, Monsieur le Mars! This girl is ready for warmer weather and cook-outs!
Hiya, Friends!

Well, it's Tuesday, and also the last day of March, Twenty-Fifteen. 

You know, I thought that March was supposed to come in like a lion and go out like a lamb.  I suppose it could be said that compared to the way this March came in, today's more lamb-like than things were in the beginning, but still. 

Maybe what March is going out as is some kinda mutant lamb that got crossed with a puma or something.  I mean, it looks all fluffy and cuddly on the outside, but the lamb is still packin' some really sharp teeth and an attitude.

Whatever.  This girl is ready for warmer weather.  I wanna wear sundresses and sandals and my heart-shaped sunglasses. 

I'm ready to start thinkin' about goin' to the Lake.  I'm ready to start plannin' cookouts!  I'm ready to get out my squirt-bottle and microfiber cloth and help Daddy detail the cars for car-shows.

What I'm saying is that I had fun this Winter.  I did.  I enjoyed the snow.  I enjoyed everything about the winter.  Except that awful cold I got and the accompanying pink-eye, but the only reason I really resent that is that those eye-drops really stung!  Winter, I'm okay with, but I am ready to march along into Spring.  I'm ready for April showers and jumping in every mud-puddle I see.

I'll see ya tomorrow, Friends!  I love ya lots!  Muah!

Monday, March 30, 2015

Darn Ol' Monday, Anyway!

It's Monday: This IS my happy face!
Oh, Friends.  It's Monday again, isn't it? 

Yep.  The calendar has confirmed the worst.  The weekend is indeed over, and it is once again Monday. 

I realize that I usually encourage you not to be miserable on Monday.  I realize that you might have a point if you were to call me a hypocrite for bein' all grumpalupagus today, but ever since we went at changed our clocks to Daylight Saving Time, my weekends have either been crumb-bum weekends where I have had very little fun for whatever reason, or I've had lotsa fun, but the time has gone by like a flash.

I mean, really.  Nothing messes up a perfectly good weekend like Monday Morning. Back to the rat race.  Back to the grind.  Back to work, ya bums!

So I'm not gonna tell ya to make the best of it today, Friends.  I'm not gonna cajole you into bein' of good cheer.  I'm not gonna tell ya to fake it until ya make yourself happy today.  Usually I do, and I might next weekend, but I'm not gonna do that today.

What I'm gonna do is tell ya if ya feel like you need to be grouchy today, let it out.  Not at anybody who doesn't deserve it, mind you, but let it out.  If ya need to cry, cry.  If ya need to listen to loud music and yell along, do it.  We all have days like this.  And nobody can feel a hundred percent fizzy every day.  Not even me. 


I love ya lots, Friends, no matter what kinda mood we're in.  I love ya lots, and I'll see ya tomorrow.  Tomorrow's a new day.  Tomorrow's always a new day.  Muah!

Sunday, March 29, 2015

It's Daddy's Birthday!

I'm gonna jump outta this present and surprise Daddy for his birthday!
Hiya, Friends! 

Guess what!  Today's my Daddy's birthday!

What I really wanted to do for Daddy today is all of us get in my brand-new motorized Pink Jeep so I could drive us to a classy restaurant like Chuck E. Cheese and we could enjoy a nice meal together, celebrating the anniversary of Daddy's birth. 

That's what I wanted to do, but there are a coupla complications with that plan.  First of all, as it turns out, Big People don't like to go to Chuck E. Cheese on their own birthdays, and when they take a Little Kid there, it's under extreme duress and out of a deep sense of obligation.  There is no enjoyment.  So that wouldn't have been the place to take my Daddy for his birthday.  A sub-complication to this plan is that I'm not sure where there is a nearby Chuck E. Cheese.  Buffalo?  Rochester?  I don't know.  It's moot anyways, because Big People don't care much for Chuck E. Cheese. 

More troubling, however, is my acute lack of motorized Pink Jeep.  That's right.  I'm still pining for a PowerWheelz of my very own.  I asked Mommy to buy me one for Daddy's birthday, and would you believe she had the NERVE to flat-out refuse?  Then she wonders why Daddy's my favorite.

Awwww well, Friends.  I might have a thinger two up my sleeve, to make sure Daddy has a good birthday.  I hafta check to see what that might be, but I'm sure there's something.

I have some work to do, Friends, so I'll be seein' ya tomorrow.  I love ya lots!  Have a great day!  Muah!

Saturday, March 28, 2015

Art Is Life Is Art

Watercolors are my favorite two-dimensional artistic medium.
Hiya, Big People!  Happy Saturday!

Well, ya know, I'm a kid that's interested in lotsa different things, and one of the different things I'm interested in is doin' art.

I guess if I had to figure out who influences me artistically, I'd hafta say Elmo.  Elmo makes art.  It says so in his song 'Elmo and I Know It."  Elmo's favorite medium is the crayon, though.  Mine is watercolor.

Don't get me wrong.  I love crayons, too.  They're portable, readily available, and bold-colored.  They're a fairly mess-free way to make art. 

Which is kinda why I really enjoy watercolors.  There's a messiness to watercolors.  There's a ritual to the artform.  You have to put down a drop-cloth on your table, then you get your paper, then you get a glassa water and your paints.  I love the ritual.  I love the way the colors can be bold and solid, or more watery. 

And yes, I like the potential for mess.  Makes 'em feel a little bit dangerous.  Like I'm rollin' the dice with every dip of my brush in the water.

I don't think I'm a great artist.  I'd never say that.  But I love doing what I do.  I love the process, and I get a little better at it, every time I try. 

Can't beat that!

Friends, I love ya lots.  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Friday, March 27, 2015

Ridin' With The Hell's Toddlers, Revisited!

I'm gettin' searched by a K9 Unit!
Hiya, Friends!

Well, ya know, even though my motorbike group the Hell's Toddlers do our best not to attract the attention of law enforcement personnel, every once in a while, we get pulled over for various reasons.  Apparently a big groupa toddlers on motorbikes is irresistible to the police. 

They always wanna check us out.

It seems like no matter what we get pulled over for, we end up gettin' searched.  And they always find some sort of contraband. 

Oh, you know how it is.  Harmless stuff, really, but if you're followin' the letter of the law, I suppose people could get all bent out of shape about it. 

Lemme fill ya in, and you can decry the unfairness of it all with me:

Unauthorized candy.  That's a big one.  Somebody's always gettin' pinched for havin' unauthorized candy on 'em, and if they do, it's a minute in Time-Out per age of the offender in years, times the number of instances of unauthorized candy.  Stinky Peterson got caught with about ten pouches of Pop Rocks once.  Tried to tell the officers that pulled us over that they weren't even his- he was holding them for a friend.  He wasn't foolin' anybody, though.  Those were Stinky's Pop Rocks.  Stinky got off with a warning, and the officers' sympathies for bein' named 'Stinky,' but they took his Pop Rocks, and boy was Stinky ever mad!

Of course, besides unauthorized candy, somebody always gets found with a toy that's too old for 'em.  You know.  A two-year-old carrying a toy labeled for Ages 4+.  A three-year-old caught with a stapler.  And there's just no talking to the authorities.  They see it, they see you're not old enough to have that toy, according to the label, and they take it away. 

I want my stapler back, by the way. I did three minutes in Time-Out for having that stapler, and they didn't even give it back after they took it.

Don't even get me started on the disturbin' the peace.  Listen.  We're a club of toddlers.  Somebody's always melting down, and when a toddler melts down, it's gonna disturb the peace.  If they get you for that, you can plan on headin' straight for the Naptime for one to three.  Hours.

Well, you know, there's never a dull moment, when you're ridin' with the Hell's Toddlers.  Never a dull moment at all, Friends.

Hey.  I'll see ya tomorrow.  I love ya lots, Friends.  I really do!  Muah!

Thursday, March 26, 2015

Ridin' With The Hell's Toddlers

Shoulda worn my goggles on my bike ride today!
Hey there, hi there, ho there, Friends!

What I really mean to say is "Hiya!" 


Recently, I realized I love my bike that I got for my second birthday.  I don't know why I snubbed it for so long.  It has real air-filled tires, and handlebars, and a padded seat...

Why, it's practically a motorbike, for which I'm the motor.  In fact, that's what I pretend it is when I ride it.  A big ol' loud motor bike. 

I'm a stickler for safety, so I always wear a helmet when I'm riding my motorbike.  Gotta protect the ol' noggin, after all!

The thing I always forget, though, is my goggles.  I always wind up pretending I've taken my motorbike down a dusty dirt road, and darned if that dust doesn't get in my eyes.  Goodness that's the worst.  Especially because I usually pretend I'm ridin' my motorbike with my pretend motorbike club, Hell's Toddlers (Mommy would say this name is redundant), and I'm rarely the lead motorbike in the pack.  So a lotta dust gets kicked up on our pretend rides.

Anyways, Friends, I think I'm gonna go goggle-shoppin' online now, so I'll be seein' ya tomorrow.  I love the heck right outta ya.  I love ya lots!  Muah!

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

I'm Tired, Just Thinkin' About It!

Nine months until Christmas, and I'm tired, just thinkin' about it!
Hiya, Friends!  Happy Wednesday!

Well, hey.  Didja happen to catch the date on the calendar today?  That's right.  It's the Twenty-Fifth of the Month!  That means it's time for me to do my Countdown Til Christmas!

As you know, I love Christmas.  I love everything about it.  I love the snow.  I love the hot cocoa.  I love the endless tables of food.  I love seein' Aunt Colleen and Uncle Lorentz practically every day.  I love the presents.  I LOVE THE TREES AND THE LIGHTS!!!

I cannot stress enough how much I love Christmas trees and Christmas lights. 

So.  That's why I get excited every time we come upon a Twenty-Fifth of the Month.

Today marks nine months until Christmas.  There's really no action needed at this point.  I'm just stating how much time there is.  We all know that the first few Twenty-Fifths of the year are just mile-posts.  The real Christmas Crunchtime doesn't begin until at least June or July.  So we've got a little time before I start making my reminders more urgent, Friends. 

Maybe for this Twenty-Fifth, we can all celebrate it by taking some naptime.  What do you think?  Kind of rest up for the Easter Holiday coming up.  Rest up for Spring and all the fun we'll have as soon as the weather warms up?

I know I've spoken out as a staunch anti-nap supporter in the past, but the older I get, Big People, the more benefit I see in a little supplemental shut-eye.

I love ya lots!  I'll see ya tomorrow, mmmkay?  Muah!

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Captain of the Sunshine Brigade!

I've declared myself Captain of the Sunshine Brigade, Friends!
Hiya, Friends! 

Hey.  If you know me, you know I like to be useful as well as ornamental, and one way for me to be useful is to make people feel better when they're feelin' blue.  In fact, it's so important to me that I've decided this is my Thing I do right now, and I've created a job position for myself, based on this. 

I have decided that I am the Captain of the Sunshine Brigade, Big People.  Sure.  The Sunshine Brigade is made up of just me right now, but that's okay. 

If it's just me, I might just as well be the Captain, right? 

As for what I do, as the sole member and Captain of the Sunshine Brigade, well... I do my best to brighten the day of anyone who doesn't seem to be having a very good time of it presently.  I smile and say "Hiya!" when I see people.  Sometimes, I'll do funny things.  More times still, I'll do things that I didn't mean to be funny, but they are, so as long as somebody's laughing, I consider it a win. 

It doesn't really impinge on my life or my lifestyle to be the Sunshine Brigade, Friends.  The way I see it, I have two choices.  I can either be a sourpuss and make everybody around me feel bad, or I can be the Sunshine Brigade, and even if people make fun of me for bein' so happy all the time, at least I'm not walkin' away, making them feel like I left a stormcloud on over their heads.

I choose happy, Friends, and I wanna help everybody I meet feel a little bit better, too.

So.  I love ya lots, but the Sunshine Brigade has to ride out and be cheerful now!  I'll be seein' ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Monday, March 23, 2015

Every Day of My Life Is A Holiday!

Awkwardness is an art, Big People, and I am bigger than Pablo Picasso.
Well, Friends.  It's Monday all over again. 

Hey.  Remember when we celebrated National Awkward Moments Day last week?  Yeah.  That's pretty much my life.  The Awkward Moment.

Whether I find myself commentating on the terrible breath of strangers, or commenting really loudly on when other people toot in public, my life is rich with the awkwardest of moments.

I'm serious, Friends.

It's so awkward!

On the other hand, if there's a National Awkward Moments Day, and my life is an endless parade of those awkward moments, that means that every day of my whole entire life is a national holiday!  Big People!  Can you wrap yourselves around the magnitude of this?  Can you even imagine how awesome it must be to be me?

Try not to be jealous, though.  If you're jealous, then it'll be all awkward the next time we see each other.

Hey!  I love the daylights right outta ya, Friends!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Sunday, March 22, 2015


I am exuberant.  It means 'sparkly and fun!'
Hiya, Big People!  Happy Sunday to you!

Today, I'd like to talk about the word "Exuberant."  It's a word that I learned recently, since the New Year, but it is a HUGE part of my life.

Exuberant means "sparkly and fun."  I like to think I'm exuberant, mainly because I am told I'm exuberant.  I think there are worse things one could be called. 

For instance, if someone were to call me "lack-luster," I think I'd need to re-evaluate my self-perception, you know?  "Drab" would be another word that I would not want associated with myself.  "Mousy."  Hear me on this, Friends, if there is one thing I will not allow myself to grow up and become, it's mousy.

Exuberant, though.  I can definitely live with that adjective.  Effervescent.  There's another E-word I'm quite fond of and I relate to quite a bit.  Excellent.  I try to be excellent at the things I try to do.  I really do.

But I KNOW I am exuberant.  And it never hurts to be exuberant: sparkly and fun!

Saturday, March 21, 2015

Workin' on the Weekend!

Safety First!  Goggle Up, Friends!
Hiya, Friends!

Well, as you can see, I have my goggles on, and I aim to mean business at the Jobsite this Sensational Saturday!  

What I really wanted to do is run the steam-shovel, but apparently you hafta be "qualified" and "certified" to run one of those things. 

And ya hafta be "qualified" and "certified" in actually runnin' the steam-shovel.  You can't bring your Certificate of Qualification for runnin' the copy machine in the field office as proof that you're qualified to run the steam-shovel. 

I oughtta know, because I tried, and it didn't work.  It just didn't work. 

That's too bad, especially for me, because while runnin' the copy machine is kind of fun, that steam-shovel looks REALLY fun to run.  And I figure since I'm workin' on the weekend and all, maybe the Boss could give me a fun job to do.  Like runnin' the steam-shovel.

It just isn't to be, though, Big People.  They're not lettin' me run the dang ol' steam-shovel.  I'm on the Konica-Minolta copy machine in the Field Office. 

You know, they can forbid me from runnin' the steam-shovel, and they can make me run the copy-machine intead, but they can't make me not wear my toolbelt and goggles and hard-hat.  They say dress for the job ya want, and I wanna run that steam-shovel, so I'm gonna dress for it. 

Besides, I figure the goggles will keep me from getting a freak paper-cut in my eyes.

See?  There's a madness to my method and a method to my madness, Big People!  I love ya lots!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Friday, March 20, 2015

Cutting Remarks About My Knife-Skills!

I cut that dough rope three times now, and it's STILL too short!
Hiya, Big People! 

Well, ya know. There's a buncha stuff I'm just learnin' to do. 

Usin' a knife, albeit a pretend one, is just one of those things I'm new at doing, and I'll tell ya what.  There's a critic in every corner! 

Try as I might, I can't get my knife skills to please anyone, let alone everyone, and all the critics have their pet criticisms to throw my way.

I like to call 'em "Cutting Remarks."

First off, they complain because my cuts aren't even.  The next thing they complain about is that I don't seem to know a julienne from a matchstick.

The real kicker, though, was a row I got into with Donut Dude the other day, when he took umbrage with my cutting while I was helpin' him make his Braidy Bread for his Donut Shop.  I couldn't get my ropes of dough the right length, and I really tried.  I did!  Before I was taken off that project, I cut those dough ropes three times, and every time, they were STILL too short to suit Donut Dude.

Just goes to show, Friends, it's impossible to please people.  Straight-up impossible.  I'm not gonna let it bother me, though.  I'm gonna keep on practicing.  That's all I can do!

Hey.  I'll see ya tomorrow, mmmkay, Big People?!  I love ya lots!  Muah!

Thursday, March 19, 2015

Spring Is Comin' to the Bing!

Is thatchyoo, Spring?!  I think I see you on your way!
Hiya, Big People! 

Well, as you know, this winter lasted for months.  It was cold.  It was snowy.  We all got the Sick that was goin' around. 

It was kinda rough.

On the other hand, I got to go sledding, and build snowmen, and I also got to drink hot cocoa with lotsa dang ol' marshmellas.

That was pretty amazing!

Thing of it is, the time for winter is drawing to a close.  It's time to transition to some warmer weather.  I've had a lot of fun this winter, and I've enjoyed wearin' my big, warm coat and my snow-boots, but I'm ready to splash in some good puddles. 

Spring is comin' to the Bing, Friends, and I betchya it's comin' to your town, too!  Don't lose heart, Big People!

Hey.  I'll see ya tomorrow, Big People!  I love ya lots!  Muah!

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

National Awkward Moments Day

Today's awkward moment is tomorrow's hilarious story!
Hiya, Big People!

Well, didja survive St. Patrick's Day without gettin' pinched? Did my advice help ya out at all?  I sure hope so!  I like to be useful as well as ornamental.

Anyways, I would dare to bet that you didn't know that today's National Awkward Moments Day.  How about that?!  Where do they come up with these things?!

This one, though, I think is a fun one.  Think of all the awkward moments you have in a given day, week, month, year... or maybe you're workin' on earnin' your Awkward Moments Merit Badge, and you have awkward moments a whole big globba times in an HOUR! 

It's nothing to be ashamed of, Friends.  I say embrace the awkward moments.  Wanna know why?  Today's awkward moments are tomorrow's hilarious stories.  It's true.  You don't even need to think your awkward moment is hilarious.  That's for your audience- your friends-n-family- to decide.  And.  If you ever need someone to validate your awkward moment and turn it into a hilarious story by laughing uncontrollably as you tell it, well, you know you can always count on me.  I will be there for ya in your hour of need, Friends.  That's just the kinda gal I am.

So.  There ya have it!  National Awkward Moments Day!  Pass it on! 

I love ya lots, Big People, and I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Wear green, don't get pinched, say safe, mmmkay?!
Well, Happy St. Patrick's Day to ya, Big People!

If you noticed I'm wearin' my scrubs today, you are very astute.  There's a good reason for that.  First of all, they're green, and it's St. Patrick's Day, and second, as it's St. Patrick's Day, I'm workin' in the emergency room at St. Laffalotatus- Mercy-Mercy Hospital, treating pinch-wounds today.

It's crazy today, but I'm on my break right now, so I think it'd be a good time for a good, old-fashioned Zoe Public Service Announcement.

Ready for it?

Friends, St. Patrick's Day- related pinch wounds are completely avoidable.  All's you hafta do is wear some green on yourself.  Any shade of green you want, be it shamrock, emerald, hunter, forest, pine, spring, fluorescent, lime, acid, alien, grass, or pea.  Just find something green and put it on.  This will prevent the leprechauns from pinching you and causing you injury. 

St. Patrick's Day can be a fun holiday to celebrate, Friends, so long as you celebrate responsibly and put on something green today!  I'm lookin' out for ya!

I'll be seein' ya tomorrow, Friends!  Happy St. Patrick's Day!  Muah!

Monday, March 16, 2015

Cat's Meow Monday!

It's hard to be bummed out when you're wearin' pink leopard ears!
Hiya, Friends! 

It's Monday all over again, isn't it?   Yeah, it pretty much is. 

Well, you know what?  There's a lot to be happy about this Monday.  First of all, we didn't hafta set our clocks ahead another hour over the weekend.  That's a good thing. 

Also a good thing, I, for one, am starting to adjust to the time change.  I know it's silly, but it really got to me this year.  When I was younger, you could change the clocks on me all you wanted, and it wouldn't bug me, but this year, it sure got me all up in arms.

I guess that's the price ya pay for gettin' another year awesome, Friends.  Things like time changes start to get to ya more.  But in the trade-off, I get to eat better foods than I could when I was younger.  I'd never wanna go back to all-purees, all-the-time.

Something I've discovered, if you're feelin' really mopey about it bein' Monday, is puttin' on a flashy pair of pink leopard print ears.  It's a way I feel better instantly.  I strongly encourage you to try it too, Big People!  You won't be sorry!

Hey.  I've gotta go!  But I'll be seein' ya tomorrow, mmkay?  I love ya lots, Friends!  Muah!

Sunday, March 15, 2015

Dance, Dance!

Dancin' will put a smile on your face, Friends!
Hiya, Friends!  Happy Sunday to you! 

You know what I wanted to do, the minute I got up this morning?  I wanted to put on a ruffly skirt and DANCE! 

Now, granted, there aren't a lot of days when I don't wanna dance.  Dancing is kind of my thing.  Always has been, always will be, hopefully. 

I just can't imagine my life without a little shimmy and shake in it!

Dancing just makes me happy.  It puts a big smile on my face.  Right on my dang ol' face.  That's why I'm always tryin' to encourage you to dance with me, Friends!  Even if you think you can't dance, or that you're not good at dancing.  I think you're too hard on yourselves, when it comes to your dancing. 

Frankly, it doesn't matter if you're good or not good at dancing, Friends!  All's that really matters is that you try to dance.  No matter who's lookin'.  Yes, dance if NOBODY'S lookin'.  I mean, that takes away the whole excuse about if people see, they'll laugh.

And you know what?  If they do see ya dancing and they laugh at you, so what?  You just invite them to dance right along with ya, Friends!  That's what you've gotta do.  You shouldn't let the fear of what people think hold you back from the really fun things in your life.  Quite honestly, I don't think people think about other people nearly as much as we think they do.  Everybody's pretty much worried about their own foolishness.

So come on, Friends.  Dance with your pal Zoe today.  You will not regret it.  You might even have quite a blast!

I love ya lots.  You know that, don'tchya?  Muah!

Saturday, March 14, 2015

Pi Day

Gonna build me some circles for Pi Day.
Hiya, Big People! 

Well, today's called Pi Day, on accounta it's 3/14, and Pi, the mathematical constant, is 3.14 and some change. 
Mathy people go NUTS for Pi Day.

I'm gonna be honest with ya, Friends.  This is one of those times when an extra 'e' on the end of a word would make the word so much more exciting. 

Pi Day.  Whoop-de-do.

Pie Day.  Now we're talkin'.  Not that I'm anti-smart, Friends.  Not that I don't like numbers.  It's just, in my practical experience, I'm still learnin' whole numbers.  I don't get much, if any, practical experience with Pi. 

Pie, however, that's something I can see.  I can smell pie.  I can touch it.  I can EAT pie.  And there's all kinds of pie to get all excited about.  There's fruit pie, pumpkin pie, shepherd's pie, pot-pie, apple pie, two-crust -pies, graham cracker crust pies, tomato pie, pizza pie! 

As you can see, I love pie!  Pi, eh.  I'll learn to love it.  I'll be in geometry class in about twelve years.  I'll probably be properly introduced to Pi sometime between now and then, and I bet I'll be geeking out all over the place on Pi Day in the Future.  But today, I'm really and sincerely wishing for an extra 'e.'

I'm thinkin' of pie.

I love ya lots, Friends, and I'll be seein' ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Friday, March 13, 2015


Friends!  Can you BELIEVE it?!  We're on our SECOND Friday the Thirteenth of the year! 

Anything can happen on Friday the Thirteenth!  Anything!  Why, you can wear stripes and polka-dots, zig-zags with plaid, or a patchwork of all patterns and colors! 

Oh, and that's not ALL!  On Friday the Thirteenth, you can put colors together that you normally wouldn't put together!  Wear mis-matching socks!  Wear a crazy tie or scarf!  Wear one silver earring and one gold earring!

I've never understood why people sometimes suffer from Triskaidekaphobia, which is the fear of the Number Thirteen.  I don't think thirteen's anything to be afraid of. In fact, I think thirteen's a GREAT number!

That is why I'm starting a movement, People!  I'm starting the TriskaidekaFABULOUS Movement, in order to promote the number thirteen and educate Big People on all the ways that the Number Thirteen is just FABULOUS!  There are many more worthy things than the Number Thirteen to be afraid of, Big People: Flash-floods, tornadoes, poisonous snakes and spiders, and losing the remote when something really boring is on the television.

The number thirteen?  It isn't going to hurt you any, Big People! 

Thursday, March 12, 2015

Happy Birthday, Girl Scouts!

I'm a big fan of their cookies!
Hiya, Big People! How's your day goin' so far?  Are ya havin' fun?

Well, as you know, I'm always trying to learn new things so I know as much as I can about the world I live in, and I learned that today's the Girl Scouts' one-hundred third birthday!  Isn't that something?!

Now, I'm not a Girl Scout.  Not yet.  I'm still too little, I think.  I might become one when I'm older.  I don't know.  I kinda like their mission, which is to teach girls to become self-reliant and resourceful.

I'm all about self-reliance and resourcefulness. 

Also, I understand that Girl Scouts go on field trips and do crafts.  I LOVE field trips and crafts! 

I am a BIG fan of the cookies the Girl Scouts sell.  I haven't met a Girl Scout Cookie I haven't liked, but my favorites are the Samoas and Thin Mints and Trefoils.  Oh!  And the Tagalongs and Do-Si-Dos.  Yeah, I'm a big fan of Girl Scout Cookies. 

Anyways, I have lotsa time to think about becoming a Girl Scout myself, but I have only today to wish 'em a Happy Birthday.  So, Happy Birthday, Girl Scouts!  I hope you get to enjoy a great big Thin Mint cake with sparklers on it today!


Wednesday, March 11, 2015

The Cold Doesn't Bother Me, 'Cause I Know How To Bundle Up!

This looks cooler, if you imagine I'm shooting ICE outta my hands!
Hiya, Big People! 

Hey, if you've been followin' along with me the last little stretch, you'll know that I just love the movie Frozen.  I think Elsa and Anna, but especially Elsa, is so inspiring.  Not just becauzza 'Let It Go,' which I truly, truly love, and I love to singalong with it.  Not just because the Frozen Girls have GREAT hair.

I think Elsa is so inspiring because the cold doesn't bother her, anyway!

The first time I saw Frozen, it was summertime, but it got me thinkin' ahead to Winter, and how I wanted to be able to say that the cold doesn't bother me, too!  What could I do, short of hoping for magical ice-shooting-out-of-my-hands powers, to ensure that the cold wouldn't bother me, come Wintertime?

Well, Friends, the answer was no farther away than my very own coat-rack and closet.  It's true!

What I've learned about not lettin' the cold bother me is that I need to not let the cold GET to me in the first place, so what I do, when I know I'm gonna be where it's cold, is I bundle the heck up.  That means that I put on BabyLegs under my pants.  I put on socks.  I wear a long-sleeve T-shirt with a sweater or hoodie on top.  Then, if I'm goin' outside, I put on my nicey warm faux-fur-lined boots, and my Serious Winter Coat on top, put a lid on myself (I wear a hat!), flip up my hood, pull on my mittens, and I am ready to GO!

I laugh in the face of the cold now, Friends!  It REALLY doesn't bother me!  How about that?!

Hey.  I'll be seein' ya tomorrow!  I love ya lots!  Bundle up!  Muah!

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Makin' People Feel Better Feels Great!

It's easier to laugh when you're not in pain!
Hiya, Big People!

Well, you know, when your teeth hurt, it's hard to laugh, so when my friend Mr. Flip-Top came to my office today complaining of not being able to laugh as well as havin' a tooth-ache, I knew just what to do.

I did a complete dental work-up on Mr. Flip-Top and determined that all his teeth needed to come out. 

Now, normally, this is something that you wanna avoid, but for Mr. Flip-Top, needin' all his teeth out is no big deal at all, because I just make him more teeth, outta Play-Doh.  It isn't like I make him dentures, either.  I make him a whole new setta teeth, and off he goes.

So that's what I did today.  Mr. Flip-Top said he felt a lot better, once I got his worn-out Play-Doh teeth taken out.  But then he said he felt even more fantastic, once I got his new teeth made and put in.  His eyes brightened right up, the corners of his mouth made a smile, and then, Mr. Flip-Top started tellin' some JOKES!  And we all LAUGHED! 

I guess what I'm sayin', Friends, is that if you're finding it difficult to laugh, you're gonna wanna hafta visit your doctor for a work-up, and if you end up being referred to a Doctor of Humorous Healing, it's nothing to worry about!  Your treatment won't be the same as Mr. Flip-Top's, but you'll be feelin' just tops by the end!

I love ya lots, Friends!  Happy-n-Healthy go Hand-n-Hand!  Remember it!  Write it down!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Monday, March 9, 2015

Threena Half!

This has just sorta snuck up on me while I've been busy bein' me!
Hiya, Big People!

Well, where the heck does all the time go?

Today, I am threena half years old.  It's my half-birthday!

I'm just stunned.  I don't know how this happened.  Yesterday, I was tiny.  I couldn't do much.  I couldn't eat cake.  I couldn't speak clearly.  I didn't know the alphabet from a hole in the ground...

And today, I'm threena half years old.  In six months, I will be a four-year-old.  An elder statesman of the toddler set, if you will. 

I can't believe it.

I can't say I'm not excited. I am.  I can do more things than I ever could before in my life.  I'm learning new skills, learning more words, eating more exciting foods, getting to go to so many new and exciting places...

It isn't always easy bein' Three, Friends.  But today, I'm threena half, and I firmly believe that the world is my PEZ dispenser.

Well, you'd say the world is my oyster, but thing of it is, I don't really care for oysters, I don't think.  But I love PEZ, and I find the dispenser really user-friendly.  No oyster knife necessary, which is really good, on accounta I'm not big enough to use an oyster knife yet. 

Anyway, Big People!  I love ya lots!  I'll be seein' ya tomorrow, mmmkay?!  Muah!

Sunday, March 8, 2015


Turn your clocks ahead and check your smoke detector batteries, if you haven't yet, Friends!
Hiya, Friends!  It's Sunday, and not just any Sunday.  It's a Time-Warp Weekend, where we went and lost an hour of sleep last night. 

"Spring Ahead," they call it.  "Spring the Heck Ahead."

Boyo Boy.

This is one transition, one time-warp that I just don't like.  Don't get me wrong.  I get plenty used to being sprung ahead, especially since we spend most of the year sprung-ahead.  And the summer makes it easy to be in sprung-ahead mode.  It does!

It's just the whole shock of goin' to bed last night, thinkin' I had so many hours to rest and recharge, and finding in the morning that I'm an hour short by no fault of my own. 

I really, really like the fallin' back that we do in the fall.  There's something nicey cozy about fallin' back.  Plus, I feel like I'm runnin' early when we fall back.  This time of year, when the clock springs ahead, I always feel like I'm runnin' an hour behind.

In fact, I really try not to schedule any important meetings or appointments the first coupla days after we change the time, especially morning meetings or appointments.  I just don't wanna hafta wind up bein' late.  I really try to get around in a timely manner, but I'll admit that it's like tryin' to herd cats. 

Anyways, Friends.  Turn those clocks ahead and check your smoke detector batteries if you haven't already.  We'll adjust to this change.  We will.  But I think today, we all oughtta take some naps.  I love ya lots, Friends, and I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Saturday, March 7, 2015

Much Better!

All I needed was just a little more time in the imaginary tropics!
Hiya, Big People!  Happy Saturdee!

Well ya know, the other day I went on an imaginary vacation, came back too soon, and yesterday, I was all outta sorts. 

So I went back on imaginary vacation. 

That was just what Dr. Zoe ordered, Friends.  As it turned out, I wasn't turnin' into a Miserable Morty.  I just needed a little more time in the imaginary tropics! 

How about that?!

I'm feelin' so much better now.  Feelin' more like myself.  All sunny and happy.  I can get back to the business of gettin' through the rest of this winter. 

It's all gonna be okay, Friends!  I love ya lots, and I'll be seein' ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Friday, March 6, 2015

Well. I'm Back.

Oh, Lord, this week, Friends... I could mess up an egress from an imaginary vacation!
Hi there, Big People!  Happy dang ol' Friday to you!

Remember how I went on an imaginary vacation yesterday?  Remember how I said I'd come back all rejuvenated and ready to take on whatever the weather throws my way?

Well.  As it turns out, I came back too early.  I'm not rejuvenated.  I'm not ready to take on whatever the weather throws my way.  I'm still kinda cranky and irritable.

I realize this happens a lot in the Real World.  I realize that Big People's vacations often end before they're ready for them to end, and Big People just hafta make the best of it. 

But this was an IMAGINARY vacation that I was in charge of, and I STILL came back too early!  Darn it!  Who DOES that?!

Apparently, your pal Zoe. 

Well.  No matter.  All is not lost.  It's an imaginary vacation.  I can go back anytime I want.  My schedule is clear for today, so all's I gotta do is go back to my imaginary vacation spot, which is Fijwaiida.  I think I'll take along my friend Doc McStuffins and my other friend Wegman the Bunny.
You're welcome to come along, too, if ya wanna, Big People! 

Anyways, I love ya lots, Friends, and I'll see ya tomorrow, mmmkay?  Muah!

Thursday, March 5, 2015

I Need An Imaginary Vacation

I'm going where it's sunny and warm... in my head!
Hiya, Big People!  Happy Thursday!

Well, ya know, I like to accept and embrace each season in its time, but sometimes all the wintry weather kinda gets to me. 

Do you know what I do then?  I go on an imaginary vacation.  A Vacation in My Head (TM), if you will. 

So that's what I'm up to today.  I have my sunglasses all ready.  I have my comfy-stretchy pants on for my imaginary plane trip (First-Class, naturally- I'm not stuffing all this fabulosity into Coach when I go on vacation in my imagination!!!).  I have my Rolly Suitcase with me, fulla stuff for my vacation to Someplace Warm!

Once I get there, I'm gonna sit in my beach chair in front of the electronic space heater in the Living Room, with my Sound Machine set to "Ocean Waves" while I sip pineapple juice out of my Hawaii Honu mug.  Puts me right in the tropical spirit.  All's I hafta do is close my eyes, and think of sand and beachy waves and I'm on vacation.

Like any vacation, coming back to the cold, cold reality is kind of a bummer, but I always arrange to have a giant mugga hot cocoa with extra marshmellas to greet me at the airport when I return home.  It's a nice touch that sorta softens the harshness of coming back from my imaginary beach. 

A nicey soft faux fur blanket always helps, too.  My favorite one is red. 

So there you have it, Friends!  If you're fed up with the cold today, feel free to follow my lead and go on an imaginary vacation.  I'll save you a spot on my electric beach.  We'll all come back rejuvenated and ready to take on whatever the weather throws our way!

We can do it, Big People!  Spring's just around the corner!  I love ya lots!  See ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Work-It Wednesday!

I like to use two-pound weights because Mommy won't let me lift heavier!
FRIENDS!  Yoo-Hoo!  We sat around enough yesterday, in our Art of Sitting chairs.  Today we've gotta get back on track with Work-It Wednesday!

You can do cardio or weights for Work-It Wednesday, but I like doing a combination of both.  If that's what you choose, then I commend you on an excellent choice, Friend!

However, if all you're interested in is maybe some walking... well, that works, too, Big People!  Every little bit helps! 

Nothing makes the middle of the week better like movin' the ol' tushie around, Friends.  And.  Not only that, but if ya move more, you can EAT more food!  How about that?!  Good food.  Not junk-food, but I'm not here to judge.

Hey.  I love ya lots, Friends.  I'll see ya tomorrow.  Work it this Wednesday!  Muah!

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

The Art of Sitting

It takes practice to be this good at sittin', Friends!
Hiya, Big People!

You know, I'm an active little kid, but occasionally, I like to sit down.  Kick up my heels.  Relax.

But to sit correctly, to sit right, to sit artfully, you have to have the right chair.

What makes a chair the "right" chair?  Well, it needs to be the right size.  It's gotta fit your hiney-butt.  You don't wanna sit in a chair that's too tight any more than you wanna wear a paira shoes that's too pinchy.  Trust me on this, Friends!

Another thing a right chair has to have is a nice place to put your arms.  An arm-chair, if you will.

Squooshiness is a must, but the right chair has to have the right ratio of squoosh to support.  And if the chair reclines or has a place to put your feet up, that makes it all the more righter. 

The art of sitting, Friends, is all about comfort.  It's all about feelin' cozy.  In fact, it isn't something you can just be good at.  It's something ya hafta practice, Friends.  And that's just what I intend to do right now: practice the art of sitting.  I hope you can find some time to, too! 

I love ya lots, Big People!  I'll see ya tomorrow! Muah!

Monday, March 2, 2015

Move-It Monday!

Dancin' gives me a better attitude, Friends!  Try it!
Hiya, Pals!  Goodness, it's Monday all over again, isn't it? 

I know it's hard to get started on these Mondays, Friends.  And if I've said it once, I've said it about eleventy thousand times.  Hoppin' up and dancin' will make ya feel so much better, Friends. 

You don't even hafta be GOOD at dancing.  You don't hafta follow specific steps.  You don't hafta impress anybody.  You just gotta get up and move. 

The hardest part is gettin' started, Friends.  So just hop on up.  Do a little dance.  Celebrate Move-It Monday with me.  You know why?  It's the first Monday in the Month of March!  Spring is on the way!

Come on, Friends!  I love ya lots!  'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Sunday, March 1, 2015

Happy March!

It's our March to Spring, Friends!
Hiya, Big People!  Well, today's March the First, and I'd like to call it the first day of our March to Spring!  How about that!  We're down to less than a month left until Spring!

Don't get me wrong.  I have had an EXCELLENT Winter, but I'm gettin' the hankerin' to wear some of my cute little non-Winter shoes.  Maybe try out some of my springy jackets.

I betchya you are, too, Friends!  I betchya you feel the same way!  It's been a lot of fun, bein' all bundled up, but it'll be nice to greet some warmer weather, won't it?

Friends, I'm gonna keep this kinda short-n-sweet today, so we can all start thinkin' Spring, mmmkay?

But you know that rainer shine, hot or cold, I sure do love ya lots, Big People!  That is one thing that doesn't change with the seasons!  See ya tomorrow!  Muah!