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Thursday, September 27, 2012

The Day Is Young And So Am I! [I don't need no stinkin' nap!]

Hiiiiiiiiiiya!  Big people, I've got a question for you:  Nap or No Nap?  You can go ahead and tell me your honest thoughts on the subject, because it's not going to make me change my mind.  I'll tell ya what my position is on naps:  I don't like 'em!  I already sleep at night!  Then during the day, Mommy thinks I need one before lunch and another one before the five o'clock news comes on.  I disagree with her, and I think she just wants me to take my nap so she can lay down on the couch and eat chocolate covered cherries and watch trash-tv or whatever Mommies do when their kids are taking naps.

What I'd like to do is start an uprising!  Kids!  If you're out there, listen up!  Tell your Big People that you're fed up with naps!  The day is young and so are we, and we don't need to be taking up all our time sleeping!  There's so much we need to see and do and learn and everything!  What good are naps?

Now, Big People, I understand that you're all old and tired out.  Every time I argue with Mommy about taking my nap [Mommy:  pssst!  I'm not sassing you, I'm presenting my case!], she says that when I'm bigger, I'll wish I could have a nap or two every day, and on the days when I'll get even a short little nap, it'll be the best day ever!  I say that's USDA Grade A hogwash, Big People!  I will NEVER want to take a nap!  NAPS ARE FOR SAPS!

But in the interest of compromise, here's what I propose, Big People:  since us little kids hate our naps, you just don't make us take them anymore.  That'll make us very happy.  And in return, you Big People can have our naptime.  We'll go ahead and run things while you rest up.  Since you all love naps so much anyway.  There.  Problem solved!

That's what I'm here to do, Big People!  Solve problems, reach compromises!  Not take naps!  So I'll see ya tomorrow, just as bright-eyed and bushy-tailed as can be.  Zoe B. loves to be nap-free!

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