Monday, June 30, 2014

So Long, June: See Ya Next Year!

It's been quite a June, hasn't it?
Hiya, Friends!  Can you believe it's Monday already?  Can you believe it's June Thirtieth already?  Half the year, all gone already.  Boyoboy.

I can't believe how quickly this month has flown by.  I hear you Big People say things like that quite often, and I think Yeah, Right, but now I find myself joining right in.  It seems just like yesterday, I was talking about May Day. 

Anyway, it was quite a June here at my house.  I thought I was gonna hafta go back on my promise to see you every day earlier this month because Mommy wrecked her computer.  That's a dark time in our month, but everything's back to normal now.  We're just all older and wiser, so there's that.  Ummm... Also, I decided to celebrate Cinco de Juno.  As a holiday, it hasn't really caught on, but my hope is that next year, more of us will celebrate along.

Next, I had my first real trip to Daddy's office as a patient.  I had my teeth cleaned, and I really liked it!

Then, in the early-middle of the month, I went to Pittsburgh and visited the Children's Museum.  That was pretty great!  Have I talked much about my trip to the Children's Museum?  I don't remember.  Well, I'll hafta go back and look, and if I haven't told ya all about it, be on the lookout for a post all about it soon!

It rained a lot in June, especially last week.  I wrote some special thoughts about rain and what it cannot do in this post that I think you missed.  Click on the hyperlink to catch it this go-around.  No worries.

And here we are, standing on the cusp of July.  I don't know what's in store for us in July. ... Yes I do.  I'm goin' somewhere in July.  But it won't affect our relationship at all, Friends.  I'll still be here every day.  I said this was going to be The Daily Zoe Blog in more ways than in name only, and by golly, I am a TigerBaby of my word.  If a Mactastrophe couldn't keep me away from you, do you really think vacation can?

Heck, no.

Friends, I'll see meet ya tomorrow in July.  I love ya lots!  Muah!

Sunday, June 29, 2014

Hot Weather Calls for Proper Hydration!

Drink up to stay healthy and happy in this hot weather!
Hiya, Friends!  In my continuing quest to be informative as well as entertaining, useful as well as ornamental, I offer to you today a public service announcement regarding drinking your water.

No, I'm not gonna drink your water.  But if it came with a lemon slice or a lemon wedge, I would gladly take that off your hands or off the rim of your glass, whatever the case may be.  I just love lemons!

What's that? ... Sorry.  I got off-task.  Well, hey.  It's Summer, so my attention span is a little short.  Sorry!

Back to proper summertime hydration: remember to drink at least eight eight-ounce glasses of water a day.  Iced tea counts!  Coffee counts if you divide the number of ounces of coffee you drink by half- so if your cup is twenty ounces of coffee, you get to count ten of those ounces toward your daily hydration.

Unfortunately, pop doesn't really count.  Sure, it's a liquid.  Sure, it has water in it, but it also has a lot of sugar in there, which cancels out its watery goodness. It just makes you thirstier.  I know it stinks, because I love me a glassa root beer every now and then, too.  You can still have it!  Just know it's an extra and that you can't count it toward your essential daily hydration needs!

Another beverage that seems like it ougtta count towards your watery goal is milk.  Milk is great for you.  It builds strong bones.  It fills your tummy up when you're hungry.  But milk doesn't count towards your hydration goals because nutritionally speaking, milk is a FOOD.  That one shocked the daylights right outta me, too!

So anyway, Friends!  Stay healthy and happy in this hot weather through proper hydration.  You heard it from your pal Zoe!  Muah!

Saturday, June 28, 2014

I Just Glove Jazz Hands!

Jazz Hands say 'I have style, snap, and panache!'
Friends, nothing says 'flash-n-dazzle' like a good set of Jazz Hands.  Am I right?  Ending a little dance or routine, or even a trip-and-recover with a snappy set of Jazz Hands just punctuates your fabulosity.  I don't think there's anything more effective, in that regard, than flashing Jazz Hands.

Jazz Hands show the world you have confidence.

Really, Friends!  Take my example of tripping and recovering.  You know how you trip and do that funny little walk-walk-walk to catch yourself and recover, and then you hope nobody saw you take your spill.  Well, if you end with Jazz Hands, it shows any onlookers that you're not gonna sweat a little misstep.  You're just gonna make it part of your dance.

That's what life is all about, Friends!  Figuring out how to make your missteps part of your dance. 

I'll see ya tomorrow, but until then, be snappy and be snazzy, and don't be afraid to punctuate your awesomeness with Jazz Hands!  Muah!

Friday, June 27, 2014

Festivities Around the Fire!

'Play in the fire, wet the bed!' as the saying goes.  Well, I have a remedy for that!
Hiya, Friends!  Well, as you know, this is Prime Cookout Season, and Prime Cookout Season means it's also Prime Marshmallow Roastin' Season.

You can't roast marshmallows without a fire, and a recent Festivity Around the Fire brought up a familiar saying:

'If ya play in the fire, you're gonna wet the bed!'

I'll admit that I did pause for a moment, from stirrin' up the coals.  I mean, who wants to wet the bed because you were playing in the fire earlier in the day?  Not this girl!  Then I realized that once again, I have a distinct advantage over the Big People in my life: I wear dideys.  I wear dideys, and so I can play in that fire all I want, without fear of a soggy sleeping station later in the night, by golly!

Score one more for the Anti-Potty Training League!  Ha!

Hey, Friends!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  I love ya lots!  Muah!

Thursday, June 26, 2014

Keepin' On Keepin On

I'm not gettin' a summer break, am I?
Hiya, Friends! Happy Thursday to you!

You know what?  It's summertime.  Lotsa people are out on summer vacation.  Summer break.  Not your pal Zoe.  Here I am, still in the office.  Still fillin' out TPS Reports. 

You know, around the office, it gets so deserted in the summer that insteadda havin' a conversation around the water cooler, you'll find me on most days having a conversation with the water cooler. 

Contrary to what you might think, water coolers aren't the best conversationalists.  I spin epic yarns for that water cooler, and all's it gives me in return is 'Glub-glub-glub!' 


I'm sure glad I have you to talk to, Friends.

So I'll happily keep on keepin' on here at the office, so I can see you every day.  Who needs a break when every day's like a party when I get to see you?

Let's do this Summer together, Friends!  I love the heck right out of ya! I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

I'm Not Gonna Say It, Pt. 2

Start shopping now, Friends.
Hiya, Friends!  Merry June the Twenty-Fifth!  How about that?!

I realize I was skatin' on thin ice yesterday, pointing out that yesterday was the Twenty-Fourth of the month and mentioning the number 6.  I realize that rubbed a few people the wrong way, and I apologize for that.

Sort of.

Not really.  This falls under a new segment I like to call "Sorry: Not Sorry."  You see, you Big People like to procrastinate.  You like to deny the obvious.  You need to hear this from somebody, so you might as well hear it from your pal Zoe:

Today is June the Twenty-Fifth.  It's the sixth month of the year.  There are twelve months in the year, and on the twenty-fifth of the twelfth month, there's a pretty big holiday.  Why put it off, Friends?  Your pal Zoe thinks you oughtta start shopping right now.  Take advantage of all the arts festivals and flea markets and outdoor antique sales and auctions that occur during the summer months.  Vacation mementos make great presents as well.

Perhaps if you Big People don't procrastinate until after the Major Eating Holiday in the Eleventh Month, and you start now, you won't get so irritable closer to the Big Holiday of the Twelfth Month.

So there.  It's June Twenty-Fifth.  You know what to do now, Friends.  Start shopping.
Yes, I'll go to my room now.  But you needed to hear it, Friends.  You did.  And remember, I love you lots.  I love you very much, and all this reminding is for your very own good.  Remember that. 


Tuesday, June 24, 2014

I'm Not Gonna Say It, Pt. 1

You know what I wanna say, but I'm not gonna!
Hiya, Friends!  Well, it's the twenty-fourth of the month already.  It's June twenty-fourth.

And you'll remember what I always point out about the twenty-fourth of every month.  You'll remember it because every time I mention it, somebody goes and gets all mad at me.  So I'm not gonna remind you of the significance of the Twenty-Fourth of this month.

But I'll just say this:

Six months, Friends.  Six months.

So... What else would you like to talk about today?

Hold on.  Are you mad at me?  I didn't even SAY anything!  Don't be like that!  Don't get mad at me!  Come back here, Friends!  Come back!

Well, okay.  I understand you might need a little break from my enthusiasm.  I get it.  So I'll see ya tomorrow.  On June Twenty-Fifth.  That's right. 

I love ya lots, Friends!  Muah!

Monday, June 23, 2014

Somebody Give June a Speeding Ticket!

I can't believe how fast June is traveling!
Hiya, Friends!  Happy Monday to you!  How's your Summer going so far?  Is it treatin' you all right?

You know what I think is hard to believe?  I think it's hard to believe that today marks that we're three-quarters of the way through the Month of June.  What?!  It feels like we JUST got here in June, and next Mondee, it'll be the Last Day of June.

You know what we oughtta do, Friends.  We oughtta give ol' June a speeding ticket and tell her to slow the heck down.  Or maybe not a whole speeding ticket.  Maybe just a warning:

June!  Slow down!  Take some time to smell the grass clippings!  It's summer!  You're s'posed ta move nicey slow!  No need to rush, mmmmkay?!

There.  I bet that worked, Friends. I bet June will slow down for her last week with us. 

I love ya lots, Friends!  I'll see ya tomorrow, mmmkay?  Muah!

Sunday, June 22, 2014

Getting Summer Settled In

Rozzie and I will give Summer time to get settled in!
Hiya, Big People! 

Well, as you know, Summer moved in this weekend.  There were Community Day Celebrations, Solstice Celebrations, Graduation Parties.... lotsa stuff going on to celebrate Summer's arrival. 

Now that its Sunday, Summer has some settling in to do.  You know how it is.  She needs to unpack all her nicey warm days and get her little knick-knacks all lined up. 

I know all about moving.  I've had to move my playhouse a number of times.  It can be a hassle to move.  You have to pack up all your belongings.  When I move my playhouse, I hafta pack up all my play dishes.  I wrap each one in a soft cloth, to prevent jostling around and chipping.  It's all plastic, but I think it doesn't hurt to take extra effort.  Then I hafta make sure all my rings are stacked up properly on my ring stacker.  Finally, all my play silks need to be arranged in rainbow order on their hanger.  Then I'm ready to move my playhouse.

My point is that with Summer moving in, she's got a lot more to get settled in than I ever do, so I'm not all mad that it's taking her a while to unpack the nicey warm weather.  She'll get it all taken care of.  I know she will.  It's good to have Summer back for the season, am I right, Friends?

I love ya lots, and I'll be seein' you tomorrow!  Muah!

Saturday, June 21, 2014

I'm Still Rewinding!

I'd make ya a mix tape, Friend!
Friends, your antiquated technology fascinates me to no end.  I've been thinking a lot about your VCRs and rewindings and such, and I delved into the world of the Mix Tape.

Whenever I mention "mix tape" to adults of a certain age, they always smile and start going on and on about sitting at the radio with their fingers poised over the "record" button so that when their favorite songs came on, they could record them and then exchange mix tapes with their friends. 

Did you participate in this ritual, Friend?  Do you have a boxa mix tapes up in your attic, too?  My Mommy does!

I had to really think hard on what would be the modern-day equivalent of a mix tape, and the best I could come up with is a playlist.  But here's where I realize that maybe your technology was better than the technology of my day.  Giving your friend a playlist isn't as neat as handing over an actual tape of songs you recorded just for them from your favorite radio station.  So.  Well-played this hand, Big People.  Well played this go-around.

Hey, I'll see ya tomorrow, Friends!  I love ya lots!  Muah!

Friday, June 20, 2014

Zoe's Techno-Rewind

Next thing I know, you're gonna tell me you usedta couldn't pause live television!  Ha!
Hiya, Friends!  Well, as you know, I was born in the present decade, which is to say I'm a child of the post-post-post-postmodern era, if ya wanna hafta be all academic about it.

What got me thinkin' about this is that I was readin' my Big Board Book of Old-Timey and Archaic Gadgetry the other day, and I came across the phrase "Be Kind, Please Rewind."

I guess back in the Old Days, when people would rent video cassettes from their local video rental shop, the clerks at said video rental shops would appreciate it if patrons returned the videotapes to them in a rewound condition.

I'm gonna stop myself right here, Friends, and admit that I had to look up what any of that even means.  Video rental shops?  Video Cassettes? ... Rewound?!

My mouth was agape as I learned that there was a day when movies and TV shows came contained in this plastic box with two reels and a magnetic tape or ribbon inside, and you used to have to watch this "tape" with what was called a videocassette recorder or VCR, which was a special machine hooked up to your television set that could read the information stored on these "tapes."  And then when you were finished watching, you'd hit the "rewind" button on the VCR, and the tape would wind from one spool to the other, all the way back to the beginning.

This was also the way your music was delivered to you, Friends!

I think all of this is extraordinary and hilarious, Friends.  I really do.  How on Earth did you ever have any time to do anything besides rewind all those tapes?  You musta spent hours and hours trying to find the song you wanted to hear, rewinding and fast-forwarding to get the tape to just the right spot. 

And what do you MEAN you couldn't pause live TV?  What do you even MEAN by that?  Mommy says that you Big People didn't have the technology to pause live TV until the Oughties.  Is this TRUE?!  What if you had to go to the potty during your favorite show?  What did you do?  Wait for a commercial?  But then what?  Real life doesn't always happen around television time-outs, so then what?

I guess you could say I'm glad I live in my time, and not back then, Friends, even though "Be Kind, Please Rewind" IS kind of a catchy little saying.  Maybe it can be upcycled or re-purposed for use today.  Maybe still, we'll just hafta treat it like a fun vintage expression like "Boop-oop-e-do, twenty-three skidoo!" and the like. 

Bless your hearts, Friends who remember these things.

I love ya lots!  See ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Thursday, June 19, 2014

Countin' My Blessings

I have at least twenty blessings.  That's as high as I can count by myself!
Hiya, Friends!  You know, I'm a pretty happy little kid, and that's because every day when I wake up, I sit in my room and think of all the things I have going for me.  I think of all the things I can do, insteadda sitting and dwelling on the things I haven't mastered yet.  It really helps put me in a great frame of mind to tackle the day.  It really helps me keep a smile on my face.

In short, I count up my blessings.

How many blessings I actually have is something of a mystery.  I can definitely count twenty blessings.  I can count twenty all by myself.  But after I get to twenty, I just keep thinking of good things in my life, and I lose count.  And count is one thing I'm happy about losing, especially when I'm counting my blessings.

If you're feelin' kind of down at all, Friend, I think you should try counting all the good things you have going on and going for ya.  I betchya there's a lot more good than you're giving credit for.  I betchya that's how it is!

And if ya need a little extra wind in your sails, send me a message, and I'll help ya out.  We all need a little extra wind in our sails from time to time, Friends.  We all need to know that we're good, and loved.  I sure am, and you are, too.

I'll see ya tomorrow!  I love ya lots, Friends!  Muah!

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Rancid Rance from Finance

...Oh, no, it's Rancid Rance from Finance.  And I have a snack he's gonna ruin.
Hiya, Friends!

Have you ever worked with someone who can't say but one word unless it's a disgusting story, but they don't know their stories are disgusting?

We have a fella in our office who's like that, Friends.  His name is Rance, and he works in the finance department.  Because of his awful, ill-timed stories, we all call him Rancid Rance from Finance, and if you're appalled to learn that when we see Rancid Rance coming down the hall, we all duck into any available cover to hide from him, then you've never found yourself trapped in the employee lunch room, learning all about the weird rash Rance has.  You've never suffered through Rance's soliloquy about what happens when he eats lasagna... when you have the misfortune of having brought lasagna for lunch.  (Trust me.  It's disgusting.)

My co-workers and I try really hard to steer the conversation to more pleasant matters, but once Rance starts down his disgusting track, he has to finish his stories.  Oh, Friends, we try to be not-rude.  But when we're eating, it's difficult not to just shut Rancid Rance from Finance down.  It's difficult not to have his own department page him back to his desk to solve financial emergencies.  He falls for it every time, too.

I don't know what constitutes a finance department emergency, but apparently they occur around here with enough frequency that Rancid Rance will stop in mid-sentence to go take care of it.

So I guess there's some redeeming quality about our non-friend from Finance, that he'll stop in the middle of one of his beloved, disgusting tales, and run back to his own department to fix the matter.  I suppose that'd be called dedication to his work.  That would be admirable if it weren't for all the foul, foul stories.

The moral of today's story is I guess you shouldn't tell stories that are gross, Friends.  Nobody likes that.  I'll see ya tomorrow!

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Blowin' the Trader Horn

Trader Horn brands itself as "My Favorite Store," and by golly, I think it's true!
Hiya, Friends!  Happy Tuesday to you!

Friends, recently I took a multi-day excursion to the Greater Pittsburgh Area to see my Aunt Colleen and Uncle Lorentz.  Among other interesting places I visited, I found myself once again at the dang ol' Trader Horn. 

What's Trader Horn, you ask?  Well, as it says on its buckets available for purchase from an aisle near the back of the store, and on its shopping bags, Trader Horn is simply "My Favorite Store!"

They've got a little bit of everything in there, Friends.  They really do.  They have craft items, toys, plumbing,  rope to buy by the foot, lighting supplies, home health care supplies, Sauder furniture, candy, toys, gardening supplies, hunting and camping supplies, toys, housewares, some shelf-stable foods, brickabrackas, toys, and cleaning supplies.  I mean literally a little bit of everything.

My favorite section is by far and away the toy section, if you didn't already figure that out.  They have some really neat toys there.  For instance, that Cozy Coupe Convertible that I saw and wanted.  I haven't given up on purchasing a Cozy Coupe Convertible of my very own, Friends, and if Mommy thinks she's gonna stand in my way, I'm gonna show her a thing or two.  But my mission isn't to focus on what I don't have, Friends.  Not today.  I'm here to talk about all the wonderful things I came across on my last trip to the dang ol' Trader Horn. 

I got a really cool bubble kit that came with three different wands and three bubble pipes, a little tray for bubble solution, and a little bottle of bubble solution, all for $2.99.  And I'll tell you what.  Those little bubble pipes are the best bubble blowing apparatuses I've ever used.  See, bubble wands are tricky for me, but when I use these Trader Horn bubble pipes, I have some serious bubbly game.  So color me a fan!

I also got five little spools of different colors of plastic craft lacing.  Mommy used them to distract me from the adjacently located little Cozy Coupe Convertible.  She also bought me a set of shiny plastic lavender beads that sparkle and make me feel fancy when I wear 'em.  At least I can look stylin' while I'm not tooling around the Bing in my very own Cozy Coupe Convertible.

I also got some Trader Horn buckets in which to plant our tomato garden, two spools to wind up our extension cords on, for $6.99 apiece, and solar-powered driveway markers, also $6.99 apiece, and guess what.  They all work GREAT!

I've never been to any other store like Trader Horn.  I don't have anything with which to compare it to for you, Friends, so I really think you oughtta just go and see it for yourself.  Borrow somebody's big pickup truck if you do.  And if you find yourself with room in the back of your friend's big pickup truck, could you pick me up that Cozy Coupe Convertible?  You'll know it when you see it, because the minute you see it, you'll see a vision of me behind the wheel, and I'll look so good in that vision that you'll realize how tragic it is that I do not yet have that Cozy Coupe Convertible.  True story.

So anyway, Friends.  I wanted to tell ya about my favorite store.  I hope you get to make a trip to it sometime, so it can be your favorite store, too.  I love ya lots, Friends!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Monday, June 16, 2014

Sometimes, You've Just Gotta Eat Ice Cream for Dinner!

Go ahead and eat some ice cream FOR supper tonight, Friends!
Hiya, Friends!

You know what?  It's Monday.  Mondays can be boogers, I know.  You have sucha good time over the weekend, and then Monday comes and you hafta go back to work.

Once you're at work, all kindsa things can happen to make your day just go downhill from there.  The copy machine can jam up.  The office bathroom could run outta toilet paper.  You could have a hard time finding a pen that writes.  Your computer could crash.

All these things could happen on any other day of the week.  It's just that Monday seems to bring those things by the crate-load. 

So you need something to make Monday a little more palatable, Big People.  I think eatin' ice cream for dinner tonight would be just the ticket.  Ice cream makes everything better.  I think it'd make even a Monday better.

Go ahead and try it, Friends.  What's the worst that can happen?  At the end of it all, you'll have eaten ice cream for dinner.  Put a little hot fudge all up on there, too. I won't tell.

We're all in this together, Friends!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Sunday, June 15, 2014

What Rain Cannot Do

The Rain cannot steal my Sunshine, Friends!
Hiya, Friends!  How are you this Sunday?  I'm great!

Hey, it's sunny today where I am, but that doesn't mean I can't think about what to do when the weather decides it's gonna rain on me. 

Rain can do a lot of things, Friends.  It can make plants grow.  It can clean the pollen off'n' our cars.  It can put nice water back into the rivers and lakes and our ground so that we can have water to drink.  Rain can make your hair all frizzy.  Rain can ruin a day.

Wait a minute. 

Rain cannot ruin a day unless you let it, Friends!  Rain cannot steal your sunshine unless you let it.

All you've gotta do is learn to dance in the rain, and to keep your smile on, even though it's raining on you.  Get yourself a neat little rain coat in a happy color.  Get yourself a kicky pair of waterproof boots, and dance the heck out of bein' in the rain. 

I love ya lots, Friends, and I'll see ya tomorow. 

PS- Happy Father's Day to my Daddy! 

Saturday, June 14, 2014

A Convertible Cozy Coupe!

It isn't cool when Big People think Little Kids can't see through their excuses.
Hiya, Friends!  Well, the other day when I visited Trader Horn with Aunt Colleen, Gramma, and Mommy, I fell in love with the cutest little convertible in the toy section.  It was like a Cozy Coupe, but it was a little convertible.

What little kid doesn't want a cute little convertible?  Certainly not this little kid.  In fact, I really, really, really want one of those little convertibles!

So you know what Mommy and Aunt Colleen said to me?  They said I needed to talk to Daddy because first of all, they couldn't reach me down one of those cute little convertibles from the top shelf, and second of all, I'd need Daddy to co-sign the car loan with me.

Friends, there was a box with that very same cute little convertible sitting on the floor, right in front of my face.  Mommy and Aunt Colleen couldn't see it, they claimed.

And second of all, needing Daddy to co-sign the Cozy Couple Convertible loan for me?  Really?  I don't even think that's a thing.  This is Lerbert the Lobster, all over again, and I'll tell ya what.  If I didn't want that cute little car so much, I'd be mad, mad, mad over this, but instead, I think I'm gonna wanna hafta just bide my time.  I'm gonna just be patient and wait, and maybe I'll get one of those cute little convertibles yet.

Patience has its perks, Friends.

I'll see ya tomorrow, Friends!  I love ya lots!  Muah!

Friday, June 13, 2014

Double-Lucky Friday the Thirteenth!

Dream big and make your own luck today, Friends!
Well how about this, Friends!  It's Friday the Thirteenth all over again!  A double-lucky day, if you ask me!  If you don't believe me, you just decide that it's your double-lucky day, and make it so!

On days like today, Fridays the Thirteenth, I decide it's gonna be my lucky day, and it just happens that it's so.  I promise.  There's plenty of luck to go around for all of us, and all we've gotta do is reach out and grab the luck.  Even if you think you're havin' a bad day, think of all the things that are goin' right for ya.  Write 'em down and count 'em up if ya need to, Friends!  And then you'll realize how lucky you really are.  And luck is like a magnet.  It just attracts more luck!  It's true, Friends!

So on this Friday the Thirteenth, Friends, decide that it's your double-lucky day.  That's what I'm gonna do! I love ya lots, Friends!  I'll be seein' ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Thursday, June 12, 2014

My First Teeth Cleaning!

I couldn't believe how easy getting my teeth cleaned could be!
Hiya, Friends!  Well, on Tuesday, I experienced my first dental appointment.  I was at Daddy's office and the hygienist had a spot in her schedule that needed filling, and everybody decided that spot was just me-sized, so I said "Sure!" to a cleaning!  How about that?!

Now, I've heard that sometimes going to the dentist is stressful for you Big People.  I understand that it can get a body all whipped up.  I understand.  The dentist's office can be a scary place with all the lights and the drills and the squirty waters and such.

There's no need to be scared of a cleaning, though, Friends.  It's really easy, in fact.  You just sit in the chair, close your eyes, think of a happy place, and next thing you know, your teeth are nice and shiny clean and you're all done!

I understand that sometimes the dentist finds cavities in your mouth.  This is nothing to feel bad about, Friends.  The dentist is there to help you.  The dentist wants to catch your cavities when they're little and easy to fix, and before they get big and difficult to fix or before you get an abscess.  I have heard that abscesses are really painful, so you wanna do what you can to avoid getting one.  And one of those things you can do is visit your dentist.

I was a little nervous at first, Friends, getting my first teeth-cleaning.  Even me!  Even with my daddy being a dentist and all.  But I just closed my eyes and went to a happy place in my head, and it was all over soon.  No drama at all.

If I can do it, Friends, so can you. I'm in your corner!  I'm cheerin' you on, Friends!  I love ya lots, and I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

One of Those Days

Ever had one of those days where you're just like, 'errrrrrrrrrrrt?!
Hiya, Friends!  Happy Wednesday to you!  Boy, am I ever havin' a day.  Everything I think comes out all backwards, and everything I touch falls right over.  Have you ever had a day like that, Friends?

I wouldn't be surprised at all to be having this kind of day on a Monday.  I get a little clumsy on Mondays.  A little loopy.  But on a Wednesday?!  Is this normal?

I'm gonna go see if I can go get my chakras realigned, Friends.  So I'll see ya tomorrow!  I love ya lots!  Muah!

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Me and Seymour the Swingset!

Hiya, Friends!  Don't mind the leafless trees in today's picture.   It's a picture from a while back.  I just wanted to check in with ya and letchya know that I still just love my swingset, which I named "Seymour."  This is my favorite picture of me and my pal Seymour the Swingset.
Seymour the Swingset is still one of my favorite things!

Recently, Mommy installed my red little kid swing on Seymour the Swingset, in place of the trapeze unit, which I have not come to love and adore the way I love the other things to do on the swingset.

By my reckoning, Seymour the Swingset is pertineer perfect now, for who I am right at this moment.  Maybe I don't look as cool swinging as the Big Kids do, in their normal swings, but I sure as heck have a much better time, all strapped in and secure, with a tray, no less.

I feel more free to enjoy the swinging when I'm safe.  I slipped my hiney-butt off the regular swings, and they hit me in the back of the head, and I don't have that trouble with the red little-kid swing.

It's easier to be yourself and have fun when you feel safe to be yourself, don't you think, Friends?  I sure think so!

Hey, go have fun bein' yourself on this Terrific Tuesday, mmmmkay, Friends?  I love ya lots, and I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Monday, June 9, 2014

I'm Thirty-Three Months Old!

Hiya, Friends!  Well, it's Monday all over again, isn't it?  How are you doing?

I'm doing all right.  I just realized today that I've turned thirty-three months old.  It seems crazy.  I've been thinking a lot lately about how time marches on, whether we wanna let it or not.  I've been thinking a lot lately about how I'm gonna turn three years old in a coupla months.

I don't know what to expect from three years, really.  A year ago at this time, there was all kindsa talk about potty-training.  I'm not gonna lie, Friends.  It burns me up good, that kinda talk, but thing of it is, I've been resisting it all this time, but I kind of thought it'd just magically happen for me by now.

Mommy says it's just like everything else.  It doesn't magically happen.  I've got to work for it.  Well, Mommy's memory is failing, I think.  IF she remembered right, I magically got myself off the binky without havin' to go to pacifier rehab.  Boom.  I turned four months old, and I was done with that binky.

My sippy cup, too.  Mommy carried on about how I was still using my bottles during my first summer, and bingo- all of a sudden, I was using straw sippy cups, which was apparently quite a parlor trick.

So everybody will hafta forgive me for being thirty-three months old and still in dideys.  Other things magically happened for me, and it grinds my gears to hafta work at this potty thing.

I think that somehow, we'll all still be okay.  I'll still be okay.  One of these days, I'll just decide I'm doing this, and I'll be brilliant.  But now that I'm thirty-three months old, Friends, I've realized that the world is just gonna hafta wanna respect my own personal time table, by golly!

Hey, I'll see ya tomorrow, Friends!  I love ya lots!  Muah!

Sunday, June 8, 2014

My Five-Hundredth Post!

I've been checkin' in on ya for five-hunnert posts now!  Whew!
Hiya, Big People!  Guess what this is!  It's my five-hundredth post!  Who would have ever thought I'd make it to writin' five-HUNDRED posts for you to read!  Every darn day of this New Year, which isn't really all that new anymore.  I guess I should say every day of Twenty-Fourteen, plus a buncha days from 2013, I've written to you.

It's true.  I went back and looked, and every day from June of 2013, except for November First, I've peeked in at you from my place here on the World Wide Web, because the name of this blog is "The Daily Zoe," and I know it was silly there for a while for me to have the audacity to call my web log the "daily" anything, if I was showing up only occasionally.

You know, I thought I was a Pretty Big Cheese back on my One-Hundredth Post.  I crowned myself the "Postess with the Mostess."  Ha!  Then, when I hit my Two-Hundredth Post last August, I thought I was just pretty great.  I believe I told you if you ran across any ice cream cake that day, you ought to grab a slice and think of me.  Apparently I wasn't very self-aware of myself when I had my Three-Hundredth Post.  I was so wrapped up in being traumatized by the toilet that I couldn't even bring myself to remember that it was my three-hundredth post that day.  But I DID return to my senses to mark the milestone for my Four-Hundredth Post, and it doesn't seem like it was all that long ago!  By golly, it was only in February!

Going back to my Three-Hundredth Post, Friends.  I know it was all the way last November and all, before the Holiday Season, but that public toilet trauma still haunts me.  It's given me psychological ramifications.  You see, tomorrow, I will be thirty-three months old, and I still haven't had any interest whatsoever in learnin' to use the potty.  I don't even wanna hafta talk about it.  It's all because of that loud automatic-flushing toilet at the dang ol' Olive Garden.  It scared the bejeezus right out of me, and also scared some crap out of me, too, which makes it so ridiculous that Mommy thinks she wants to pick a fight with me about this toilet training business. 

Can you imagine how inconvenient it would have been for her if the public toilet in the Olive Garden had scared the crap out of me and I HADN'T have been wearin' a diaper?  Oh my goodness.  You think that woman whines all the time now, about me being practically a pre-schooler still in diapers, but had that incident occurred not in a diaper, she'd REALLY be a-whinin'. 

So there, Mommy!  I'm actually doin' you a FAVOR, not being interested in the potty right now.  I'm savin' you from a lot of tribulation.  You ought to be thanking me for wearin' diapers, not nagging me to try that infernal porcelain contraption out.  If you're even reading this.

For everybody else, I'm sorry it's come to this, on such a momentous occasion as my 500th post.  I should be talking about all the things I CAN do, insteadda dwellin' on this one thing I can't do yet.  And I'll have you know, there's a LOT of things, really cool things I can do right now, but I don't live in a culture of celebrating the ninety-five.  I live in the culture of quibbling over where the missing five points are.  Pffffffffffffft.

You know what?  I'm gonna focus on the positive.  I've written five-hundred posts.  I know my alphabet.  I can count to twenty all by myself, but I skip the number seventeen every time, because I don't like the number seventeen.  I can pick out my own clothes if I wanna.  I can brush my own teeth.  I can buckle my own seatbelt in my high chair, at least.  I know how to work the remote control for the television.  I can do a lot of things.  By golly.

So for my Five-Hundredth Post, Friends, I want you to join me in accentuating the positive.  Being glad for the things we have and the things we can do, insteadda dwelling on the things we don't have and the things we can't do.  How about it, Friends?  I love ya lots, and I'll see ya tomorrow, with Post 501!  How about that?!

Saturday, June 7, 2014

It's Saturday Again!

Hooray for Saturdays, Friends!
Hiya, Friends!  If I look happy in the picture below, it's because I'm thrilled to pieces that it's Saturday again!  Next week's gonna be another Busy Week, but today's Saturday, and while it's kinda busy, it's all gonna be okay.  I know it is. 

How about you?  Do you have any plans?  I'm going to a party this afternoon for a graduate.  And I think there'll be some gardening in our day.  I'm kinda ambivalent about the garden.  I really am.  I wanna dig in the dirt wherever I want, but Mommy's always yelling at me to watch where I'm stepping, and to stop digging up the things she's planted.

The real kicker came the other day, though.  We learned it's possible to overfertilize tomato plants.  I'll have to keep ya posted on how that particular thing turns out.

Over all, it was kind of an emotional and turbulent week here.  We're all okay.  Nothing traumatic.  Just lotsa lessons learned.  Lotsa tears shed, from me and Mommy, both. 

I think we'll look back on this last week and call it the Week We Learned A Lot From Our Mistakes.  Because I think we did.  Mommy and I were making mistakes left and right.  Oh, boy were we ever makin' mistakes...

Anyway, all will be well.

I won't keep ya long today, Friends!  I just wanted to peek in on ya so we could both give Saturday a big shout-out.  I love ya, Friends, and I'll see ya tomorrow for my five-hundredth post!  Muah!

Friday, June 6, 2014

Happy National Donut Day!

Hey, Rozzie!  Wanna go to Donut Dude's with me?  Let's go!
Hiya, Friends!  Today's the first Friday in June.  Do you know what that means?  It's National Donut Day! 

Just yesterday, I was wishin' for a holiday here in June, and today I woke up and it came true! 

How about that?!

You know how much I love donuts, too, Friends, so this is just the trifecta of fabulousness for me.  It's Friday, it's a holiday, and it's National Donut Day! 

Don't let me hold ya up, Friends!  Get to your favorite donut place ASAP and enjoy yourself some donuts!  My friends and I are on our way to see Donut Dude.

Eat responsibly!  Hahahahaha!  I'll see ya tomorrow, Friends!  I love ya a lot!  Muah!

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Happy Cinco de Juno!

I need a holiday fix.  A Holifix ™, if you will, Friends.
Friends, as you know, the month of May was full of festive festivities.  Now May is over and we're into June.  Actually, we're on June the Fifth, and I can't help but notice the lack of holidays here at the beginning of the sixth month of the year.

Think about it.  By the time we got to the fifth of May, we'd already enjoyed May Day and May the Fourth Be With You day.  And then Cinco de Mayo.

Today IS Cinco de Juno, so why aren't there any festivities to participate in?  I feel like there should be festive eats.  I feel as though there should be a pinata, at the very least.

I think what I'm saying is that I'd like a pinata of my very own.  Pinatas are excellent stress relief, because you beat 'em and beat 'em and beat 'em with a stick, and then candy and treats fall out.  If that isn't stress relief, I don't know what is, by golly!

What's that? ...  You're wondering what kind of stress a two and a half year-old can possibly be feeling?  Well, I'll tell ya, Friends.  There's the constant battle between me and Mommy about naptime.  That's the appetizer course.  Then there's all the questions I face on any given day.  Zoe, what color is this?  Zoe, what letter is this?  Zoe, why did you put your peanut butter sandwich in the couch?  The couch doesn't eat peanut butter sandwiches!

I'll tell ya why.  Because I got tired of eating the peanut butter sandwich, and the couch was a convenient hidey-hole, or so I thought!  That's why!  Geeze!

And then there's my favorite stressor: "Zoe, when are you gonna learn to use the potty?"

Oh. My. Good-n-Plentys, Friends.  I get so sick of hearin' that question that I'd love to have a Tshirt printed up for myself that says "I'm gonna learn to use the potty beginning at never o'clock on the eleventy-second of Mindyourownbusinessuary."  But that's a lot of letters to put on a 2T Tshirt.  I could probably size up to 3T, but I bet they'd still hafta print the shirt using maybe about a size 25 font, which is big on a page, but little teeny-tiny on a Tshirt, even a 2T or 3T Tshirt.

So that's why I get stressed out, Friends.  That's what has me on edge and wanting to beat a pinata with a stick and have candy fall out of it for my efforts.  That's why I want so desperately for today to be Cinco de Juno.  Friends.

So let's make it so.  Happy Cinco de Juno to you, Friends!  I'll see you tomorrow!  Muah!

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

If Cornmeal Muffins Are Made With Corn...

It's important to know what your food's made from, Friends!
Hiya, Friends!  Yesterday I went on an expedition with Mommy to the Wegmans and we came home with a package of English Muffins, and it got me to wondering...

Cornmeal muffins are made of cornmeal, blueberry muffins have blueberries in them, chocolate chip muffins have chocolate chips in 'em, apple strudel muffins can boast both apples and strudel among their ingredients, so what makes me feel uneasy about these English muffins is this:

What do they make English muffins out of?  I'm asking, especially because the Amish call us normals "the English," and, well...

I don't even wanna go there, Friends.  I do not even wanna go there.  English muffins are just too delicious for me to spoil with thoughts like this.  I am going to try to derail my very own train of thought, if this is the track it's gonna wanna hafta take me down, by golly!

But seriously, Friends, why are they called "English muffins" when they don't really look like muffins, and they don't appear to have "the English," or English class or anything like that in 'em?   Did they just pull the name at random from one of those big drums they use for 50-50 raffle drawings?

I'm gonna be cautious, just until I find out for sure, Friends.  It's important to know what your food's made from!

I love ya lots!  See ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

The Curious Case of S. Cargo

You're pulling my leg.  People don't eat snails, do they?
Friends, I have another Lerbert the Lobster situation on my hands.  Recently, I was acquainted with a snail named S. Cargo. 

I couldn't help but notice that S. Cargo carries his house around on his back, and I thought that was fascinating, so I came home and looked it up in my Big Board Book of Snails board book, and as it turns out, snails DO carry their houses around on their backs.  Kind of like an organic Airstream travel trailer.

I'd love an Airstream travel trailer for day trips, Friends.  I love the idea of carryin' around all the comforts of home, wherever I go!

But that isn't the Lerbert situation of all this with my friend S. Cargo.  As it turns out, people EAT snails!  What?  What is that all about?  You Big People will eat just about anything, won't you?  Won't you???

What makes matters worse is that even though I know snails like S. Cargo are going to be eaten, I just can't bring myself to beg Mommy and Daddy for a snail tank of my very own.  I feel bad for those snails and all, but I just can't see myself striking up any rapport with a snail.  Lobsters, they have personality.  Snails, though...

I don't know, Friends.  I think I'm gonna hafta wanna just put it in my left pocket that people eat snails and pay lotsa good money to do so.  I'll just imagine my friend S. Cargo as a happy traveling snail, and not think about the dark truth.  If that makes me a denier, so be it.  I can't help those snails.

You know what I can help, though?  Little Giraffes.  I betchya thought I'd forgotten all about my work with the Little Giraffes.  I have not.  I just don't talk about it all the time, because I was gettin' complaints about havin' a one-track mind.

See ya tomorrow, Friends! Don't eat any snails today, mmmmmkay?  Maybe that's how I can help S. Cargo, even though he didn't ask me for help or behave as though he particularly cared that I was talking to him.  Be kind and don't eat any snails today, just the same, mmmmkay?  Love ya lots!  Muah!

Monday, June 2, 2014

Marvelous Monday!

Decide to make Monday Marvelous!
Hiya, Friends!  I know today's Monday, and a normal Monday, not a Holiday Monday like last Monday was, but it's all gonna be okay, Big People.  You wanna know how I know it is? 

Because we can decide to make Monday however we want it to be.  You know how I want MY Monday to be? 

Marvelous, Friends!  I want my Monday to be Marvelous, and I'm gonna make it so. 

You can, too.  How?  You do what you hafta do in order to make yourself feel as great as possible.  As for me, I put on an extra-snappy outfit today.  Got out my Sparkly Sunglasses.  I had Mommy do my hair in an extra-cute style.  I put on my sassy pants and my sensational shoes.

No matter what Monday throws my way, I'm ready for it.  I'm gonna make it a marvelous day, you bet I am!

You do what you need to do to feel  your best today, Friends.  You own this Monday.  No.  You're gonna make this Monday marvelous!

Go get 'em, Friends!  I love ya lots!  Muah!

Sunday, June 1, 2014

Sunday Driver!

I am proudly a Sunday Driver, Friends!  See ya!  Beep-beep!
Hiya, Friends!  Hey, if you know me, you know I LOVE cars!  And Sundays are set aside for cars and drivers.  The people who drive on Sundays even have a special name: They're called Sunday Drivers!

Friends, I am proud to be a Sunday Driver.  I guess in the technical sense, I'm a Future Sunday Driver, because I'm not old enough to have a real driver's license yet.


That technicality won't stop me from being a proud Sunday Rider.  How about THAT, Grown-Up Rule-Makers?  I don't need a license to enjoy RIDING in neat cars on Sundays!  So that's what I'm gonna do today!

And while I'm ridin' in my car, I'm dreaming of the day I get to DRIVE the nice cars!  How about that?

Friends, I've gotta go.  My car's about to leave.  I'll see ya tomorrow!  I love ya lots!  Muah!