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Friday, June 20, 2014

Zoe's Techno-Rewind

Next thing I know, you're gonna tell me you usedta couldn't pause live television!  Ha!
Hiya, Friends!  Well, as you know, I was born in the present decade, which is to say I'm a child of the post-post-post-postmodern era, if ya wanna hafta be all academic about it.

What got me thinkin' about this is that I was readin' my Big Board Book of Old-Timey and Archaic Gadgetry the other day, and I came across the phrase "Be Kind, Please Rewind."

I guess back in the Old Days, when people would rent video cassettes from their local video rental shop, the clerks at said video rental shops would appreciate it if patrons returned the videotapes to them in a rewound condition.

I'm gonna stop myself right here, Friends, and admit that I had to look up what any of that even means.  Video rental shops?  Video Cassettes? ... Rewound?!

My mouth was agape as I learned that there was a day when movies and TV shows came contained in this plastic box with two reels and a magnetic tape or ribbon inside, and you used to have to watch this "tape" with what was called a videocassette recorder or VCR, which was a special machine hooked up to your television set that could read the information stored on these "tapes."  And then when you were finished watching, you'd hit the "rewind" button on the VCR, and the tape would wind from one spool to the other, all the way back to the beginning.

This was also the way your music was delivered to you, Friends!

I think all of this is extraordinary and hilarious, Friends.  I really do.  How on Earth did you ever have any time to do anything besides rewind all those tapes?  You musta spent hours and hours trying to find the song you wanted to hear, rewinding and fast-forwarding to get the tape to just the right spot. 

And what do you MEAN you couldn't pause live TV?  What do you even MEAN by that?  Mommy says that you Big People didn't have the technology to pause live TV until the Oughties.  Is this TRUE?!  What if you had to go to the potty during your favorite show?  What did you do?  Wait for a commercial?  But then what?  Real life doesn't always happen around television time-outs, so then what?

I guess you could say I'm glad I live in my time, and not back then, Friends, even though "Be Kind, Please Rewind" IS kind of a catchy little saying.  Maybe it can be upcycled or re-purposed for use today.  Maybe still, we'll just hafta treat it like a fun vintage expression like "Boop-oop-e-do, twenty-three skidoo!" and the like. 

Bless your hearts, Friends who remember these things.

I love ya lots!  See ya tomorrow!  Muah!

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