Friday, March 31, 2017


I bet this guy really took a bite outta life!  And other things!
Hiya, Friends!  Happy Friday to you!

Well, ya know, I'm still rattlin' around in the dang ol' Odditorium, and while yesterday's post talked about art that kinda made a kid feel big, today's post is about feelin' completely small and a little bit like shark-bait.

You see, at the Odditorium, there's the jaws of a giant, prehistoric shark on display.  Big enough for me to stand inside and still look dwarfed.  The shark was a Megalodon, and he musta been HUGE!

You know, I'm something of a dinosaur buff.  I avidly watch Dinosaur Train on PBS kids.  I like to compare dinosaurs' features.  But on Dinosaur Train, it's hard to grasp just how big those dinosaurs could be.  They all fit on a magical train that goes through time-tunnels, after all.  So in my mind, the dinosaurs were all about my size or thereabouts. 

Standin' inside the Megalodon jaws kinda really put things into perspective for me.  The Megalodon's teeth were each as big as my whole head, and he had rows and rows of 'em!  That's a marvel in a museum, but I'm glad I'm not out in the ocean, just tryin' to swim, and all of a sudden, seeing all those big teeth coming for me!

I bet his name was Chompy, though!

Hey, Friends!  Don't be shark-bait.  I love ya lots, and I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Thursday, March 30, 2017

The Eye of the Needle!

I might not be a microscopic masterpiece, but I'm still noteworthy!
Hiya, Friends!  Well, it's Thursday, and once again, I have stories of adventure in the Odditorium to entertain and delight you with!  Today, you might notice that I'm standing in the eye of a needle, and that's no accident.

You see, at the Odditorium, there's an entire room devoted to the artworks of a fella in London who sculpts eentsy-beeentzy-teeny-tiny little sculptures in the eyes of needles.  Like what you'd use to sew your buttons back on. 

We're talkin' microscopic masterpieces here!

It's true!  In order to really see the artwork, you hafta look through the magnifiers, and when ya do, ya see sculptures of roses, famous people, just regular people eatin' at a table in a cafe, cars... pretty much anything you can think of that somebody would make a sculpture of, but it's downsized to almost a molecular level, and framed in the eye of a needle.  It's just incredible, Big People!

So that's why I had my picture taken in the eye of the needle for today.  That's what I would look like, if I were a microscopic work of art, but it's also what I look like, just bein' me.  Whatchya see is whatchya get, Friends.

If ya get a chance, you ought to visit the Odditorium sometime while the tiny sculptures are there, Big People!  It's a little odd, but mostly interesting that there's an artist who thought to make his works so tiny and quiet, and yet not skimp on any of the detail.  One thing I've learned about art is that it can come in all shapes and sizes, and some of it is meant to be big and make the observer feel small.  The art in the eyes of needles has kind of an opposite effect, and yet it doesn't let ya feel like you're too big for your britches, just because you're much bigger than the sculptures.  In fact, the whole experience got me to wonderin' if there isn't some being somewhere, lookin' at us within the eye of a needle.

It is something to think about!

Hey.  I'll see ya tomorrow!  I love ya lots, Big People!  You bet I do!

Wednesday, March 29, 2017


I'll come dance with you sometime when I'm more properly attired, Fella!
Hiya, Friends! 

Well, ya know, most of the time, you know me as a pretty snappily-dressed Little Kid.

But when I go casual, I really go casual.  Sunglasses on my head, stretchy pants, big, oversized winter coat from Canadian Walmart. 

And it never fails.  When I go Really Casual, there's always a little fella nearby, wearin' a whole darn tuxedo, no less, askin' me to dance.

You'd think I would know by now, given my popularity with Little Fellas Wearin' Whole Darn Tuxedos No Less, that I'd learn to wear a party dress at all times.  That way I'd be ready to dance and I wouldn't feel so underdressed.  Thing of it is, party dresses aren't very comfortable all the time.  I don't know what tuxedos are like, but party dresses can be scratchy, cold, hot, pokey, and ya can't eat messy foods in 'em. 

There has to be a better way.

Aw well.  I love ya lots, Friends!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Tuesday, March 28, 2017

I Am Electrifying!

I'm electrifying- this isn't new. I've always known this about myself!
Friends, it's Tuesday, and I'm still at Ripley's Odditorium!  Aren't you glad about that?!

Anyways, sometimes, when ya travel, ya learn new things about the world around you, or maybe even about yourself.  However, this post just goes to show that sometimes, you do NOT learn something new.


That's right.  Thing of it is, I have always suspected... nay, I have always KNOWN that I am an electrifying Little Kid.  And before that, I was an electrifying Toddler Unit, and before that even still, right from the very beginning of me, I was an electrifying TigerBaby. 

It is true, and if you don't believe me, I believe I have a sizeable canon showing thus.

So at the Odditorium, there was this ball that looked just boring and unassuming, until ya stride up to it and put your hand on it, and then, you know what happens?  Ya set off a lightning storm inside the ball!  It's a Plasma Ball or something.  But it proves that I am an electrifying Little Kid!

Keep that in mind next time ya see me, Big People!  Make sure you can handle this type of energy! 

I love ya lots, Friends!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Bzzzzzzzt!  Just kidding!  Muah!

Monday, March 27, 2017

The Weather Up There...

The weather up there is the same as the weather right here, Friends, so ya don't even need to ask.
Hiya, Friends!  Happy Monday to ya!

Well, ya know, when I was traveling and visiting the Odditorium in Niagara Falls, I met Robert Wadlow, who was the tallest man in the world. 

He was reserved yet friendly.  He would stand up out of his chair and then sit down, surveying everything in the Odditorium with a look of thoughtful quiet on his face.

Ya know, Friends, I know that sometimes when ya meet somebody so tall, ya wanna say things like:

"Boy!  You're a tall drinka water, aren'tchya?!" or "Hey, Buddy!  How's the weather up there?!"

Thing of it is, even the most tall human is gonna experience the same weather that even the shortest human experiences, if they're in the same spot.  There's no need to point out to a tall person how tall they are!  They get enough of that, and they probably know how tall they are.

Do ya know what I said to Robert Wadlow when I met him at the Odditorium?  I said "Hiya!  I'm Zoe!  I'm five!  I'm from North Bingham!  This is my first time in Niagara Falls, and I think your place here in the Odditorium is boss!"

Ya just talk to someone who's really tall, just like you would, anybody else.  It's easy, Friends!  I love ya lots1  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Sunday, March 26, 2017

My Pal, Mr. Ira Popper!

My eye-poppin' pal here tells me I shouldn't be so scared of eye-drops!
Hiya, Big People!  Happy Sunday to you!

Well, as promised in yesterday's post, we're back in the Odditorium, and I'd like ya to meet my pal Mr. Ira Popper.  Actually, that isn't his name.  His name is something else, and he hails from Cuba, and he's BumbleBee's neighbor at the Odditorium.  He's kinda like a perpetually-surprised greeter, in the lobby!

The thing about Mr. Ira Popper is that he could make his eyes pop right outta their sockets, whenever he wanted to. I'm not really sure what this kinda skill does for a body, other than earn 'em a place in the Odditorium, but you know what?  Right on, eye-poppin' man!  Don't ever change!

You might think that someone with this appearance would scare a little kid.  But you wouldn't be knowin' this little kid very well.  And besides, Mr. Ira Popper is super-friendly!  The neat thing about traveling is that you meet people who look different from you, who know different things than you know, and who have a whole different set of experiences from the ones you have.  I never woulda known that bein' able to pop your eyes outta their sockets is a thing, until I visited the Odditorium!  But after talkin' to Mr. Ira Popper about it, he says that it's really a skill not everybody needs to have, and I'll get by in life just fine without it!

Next time I come, I think I'll bring him a case of Visine, though!  It was kinda dry in the Odditorium Lobby!

Hey, Big People!  I'll see ya tomorrow, mmmkay?  I love ya lots!  Muah!

Saturday, March 25, 2017

Eye in the Sky Wheel!

I'm surveyin' the region in climate-controlled comfort!
Hiya, Big People!  Well, ya know, it's Saturday, and on a recent Saturday, I found myself way up high in a Sky Wheel in Niagara Falls, Ontario!  It was quite an experience!

First off, I have never been that high up before in an amusement ride.  I'm pretty sure my hotel room on the brink of the falls was as high or close, but you don't feel as high-up when you're high-up in a hotel as you feel when you're high-up on a giant metal wheel!

Second of all, it's pretty thrilling, even though the ride itself just goes around and around in a giant vertical circle, very slowly.  It's a thrill because the wind was a' whippin' pretty good the day I rode on the Sky Wheel, so even though I was in my own observation pod, I could still hear the wind outside, the higher up we got.  I could still feel it rockin' the pod a little bit.  But it was fun, too!  I hafta gotta imagine that it would be extremely COLD!!! to ride a big wheel like that in the winter, if the cars weren't enclosed!

I got a view of Niagara Falls like no other.  I could see the tops of buildings on Clifton Hill and still be up close to 'em!  The Skylon Tower is up high, too, but it's far from everything.  At one point on the Sky Wheel, I'm pretty sure the giant Frankenstein Monster that's next door neighbors with Burger King looked me right in the eye as I was sweepin' up in the sky! 

The thing about bein' an eye in the Sky Wheel is that once ya get up so high like that, it really puts things in perspective.  When I was walkin' around Clifton Hill, it felt very bustling and big.  Up in the Sky Wheel, all the people bustling around on Clifton Hill looked like little ants in a peaceful parade.  Insteadda the sounds of traffic and noise from all the amusements wantin' to get you all hooked in, you hear the sound of the wind and the Sky Wheel music, which is much like elevator music, but you're on the Sky Wheel.  I realized how interconnected each individual really is, even if they don't know it.

Yep.  Bein' an eye in the Sky Wheel changed me for the better, Friends!  I love ya lots, and I'll take ya back to the Odditorium tomorrow, mmmkay?  Behave yourself, and exit through the Gift Shoppe!  Muah!

Friday, March 24, 2017

Bumblebee 'n' Me!

Every little girl needs a pal like Bumblebee!
Well, hiya, Big People!  Happy Friday to you!

During my trip to Niagara Falls, I went to a place called and Odditorium, and I met a big yella robot named Bumblebee!

Bumblebee spends some of his time as a late-model yellow Camaro, but his true form is  the fella ya see standing next to me in the picture!

You know, even though Bumblebee looks a little scary, he's a really friendly cuss.  He doesn't talk, but he doesn't hafta. Bumblebee is really strong.  He can lift things up that regular people cannot lift up, which sure comes in handy!

Bumblebee is also really tall.  That's useful for gettin' the good stuff off the top shelf and changin' lightbulbs in up-high fixtures.

But what I really like about Bumblebee most is that he's just an all-around great pal.  He's a good listener, and even though he doesn't speak, when he has something to say, Bumblebee can get his point across.  I'm really glad I met him!

It just goes to show, Big People, travelin' can really make a kid's world a little bigger while makin' the whole world seem a little smaller, all at the same time. 

I love ya lots, Friends!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Thursday, March 23, 2017

No Rain, No Rainbows!

Would ya look at that rainbow you can just see over my shoulder?!
Hiya, Friends!  Well, ya might remember that I recently spent some time in Niagara Falls, Canada.  It's a wonderful place.

One thing that particularly struck me was the rainbows in Niagara Falls.  I learned that rainbows are made from sun shining through water droplets.  It can be mist from a big waterfall or... rain.

That's right, Friends!  Ya just aren't gonna get any rainbows unless there's water flyin' through the air in one form or another.

So.  Whenever it rains, or things seem kinda bad, I start lookin' for the rainbows.  The literal ones and the figurative ones.  You bet I do! And do you wanna hear something incredible?  I find 'em, Friends!  I find what I'm lookin' for!

When it rains, look for the rainbows, Big People.  I love ya lots!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Flutterby, Butterfly!

When in the Butterfly Conservatory, do as the butterflies do!
Hiya, Big People!

Well, I'll tell ya.  I love butterflies.  Ever since I was a baby, my bedroom has been fulla butterflies.  The sheets in my crib were butterflies, I had a buncha onesies that were butterflies, there were butterflies that flew around and around in circles over my head, and I couldn't stop lookin' at 'em!

Since I was a baby, I've avidly studied butterflies.  I have learned that they love milkweed and nectar and wildflowers, and that they start life as little worms and then they undergo a process called 'metamorphosis.'  I have learned that their wings are very fragile, and yet they can travel thousands of miles on their wings.  The most fascinating fact for me is that butterflies unroll their tongues and have a straw with 'em at all times and that's how they eat!

So when I had the opportunity recently to visit the Butterfly Conservatory in Niagara Falls, I jumped at the chance! 

It wasn't my first time inside a place for butterflies.  The Strong Museum in Rochester has a butterfly garden, and when I went there on my birthday, I wore a flowered dress, and a butterfly landed on me!  It didn't unroll its tongue and try to drink the flowers on my dress, but it was nice to say hello to it! It made me feel special!

The Butterfly Conservatory in Niagara Falls is bigger, though.  Lots more butterflies live there.  They keep it really warm in there- eighty degrees or so.  It felt really good to me on the cold day I visited!  I saw all kinds of butterflies at the Conservatory.  It's really hard for me to pick a favorite, because to me, butterflies are like flying flowers, and pickin' a favorite flower from all the flowers in the garden is a difficult feat.  So I'd just like to be referred to as a Butterfly Enthusiast, and love all the butterflies!

I think I love butterflies so much because they're colorful and energetic and also, they aren't afraid of changing themselves.  They relish the reinvention.  I really respect that!

So, if you ever find yourself in the home of the butterflies, be like a butterfly, mmmkay?

I love ya lots, Big People!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Niagara Dreamin'

I wonder about all the adventures I'm gonna have here!
Hiya, Big People!

Well, ya know, recently, I took a trip to Niagara Falls with my folks.  It was my very first trip to Canada, and it was so much fun!

We stayed way up high in a hotel right on the edge of The Falls!  The view was AMAZING!  I have never been up that high before, I don't think!

Did you know that at night, they illuminate the Niagara Falls, and they make it different colors? It makes it look like a whole bowl of colorful steam at night, but it's HUGE!

I can't even believe that they take a whole big globba water from the river to make electricity, and there's STILL enough water goin' over the Niagara Falls to look and sound really impressive!  It's a sight to see, for sure, Big People!

I guess that Back in the Day, people could walk right up to the side of the Niagara Falls, and jump right into the river, if they wanted to.  I'm not sayin' it was the best thing for them to do with themselves, but they could, and they did.  Some people sought fame and fortune and notoriety by ridin' barrels over the Niagara Falls.  A few succeeded.  For the other ones, I sure hope they had good life insurance policies!

Now, they have a fence up, so you can't get too awful close to the Niagara Falls.  I was very disappointed to hear about the fence, until I was standin' at it, realizin' the magnitude of the Niagara Falls.   The fence let me get as close as I would wanna, that's for sure!

Friends, it was quite an adventure, goin' to Niagara Falls and Canada!  I love ya lots, and I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Monday, March 20, 2017

Dr. Zoe Prescribes....

Sparkle won't fix all your troubles, but it'll make ya feel a little better!
Hiya, Big People!  Happy Monday to you!

Well, ya know, sometimes it's easy to forget that I am a practitioner of humorous healing at St. Laffalotatus- Mercy-Mercy Hospital, but it's true.

One of my specialties is the Spirit Lift.  Sometimes, I've got to do a surgical Spirit Lift, but I always try the least-invasive approach to a Spirit Lift, and go from there.

One of my favorite ways to start a Spirit Lift is to add some sparkle.  Fancy clippies, sequins, sparkly jewelry... perhaps a tiara, if you're so inclined...  Just puttin' on some fancy fripperies can start to make ya feel better.

Sparkle won't fix all your troubles, Friends, but it can help put a smile on your face.  And once ya can smile, that very act can actually start to lift your spirit, all on its own.

But if ya need a surgical Spirit Lift, I am here. 

Hey.  I love ya lots, Friends.  I will see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Sunday, March 19, 2017

Zoe's Day Away

I needed a breatha fresh air, Friends!
Hiya, Big People!  Happy Sunday to you!

Well, ya know, yesterday, we had to get out of the house. 

We ended up goin' to The Mall.  There were some racecars there to look at.  I surprised Mommy and Daddy by knowing numbers like 63, 37, 55, and so on.  They didn't know I know so much!

How the heck right about that?!

I also ate dinner at a place that's new to me.  I went to a Hibachi place called Mt. Fuji.  We didn't hibachi, but I had a bento box with sushi and tempura chicken and rice and oranges!  And I had strawberry Japanese soda!  There's INSTRUCTIONS on the collar of the bottle on how to open it and drink out of it! 

You know something's good when ya hafta read extensive instructions on how to open and drink it!

Finally, I saw Beauty and the Beast.  I've seen the cartoon version, but I really liked the live version.  Just loved it.  I think they depend on one another. 

It was a much-needed Day Away for me, Friends.  It was a much-needed Day Away for my family. 

One day at a time, you know?

I love ya lots, Big People!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Saturday, March 18, 2017

Live In Love

Live in love, Big People.  Live in love.
Hiya, Big People!

Well, ya know, my family's had a rough few last days.  In case ya haven't been on the Facebook at all, I'll tell ya about it here.

My pal Rozzie went to Heaven.  She couldn't move on her own anymore, not without it hurtin' her just awful.  She tried to be brave for us, and not let on how much she was hurtin', but she would cry and whimper when she thought we were where we couldn't hear her. 

It made me very sad when I found out that she went to Heaven.  I loved my pal Rozzie.  You know I did, Big People.  Mommy and Daddy loved her too.

You know, we still love her.  The love doesn't go away, just because you can't see the one you love anymore. 

My heart hurts a little bit right now, Big People.  I'm not gonna lie.  I keep lookin' for Rozzie in her favorite spots, and I keep wantin' to hear her voice.  She had quite a voice.  But I can remember how it felt to be with her.  It felt like warmth.  She was so soft.  I was always happy when I was with Rozzie. 

I like to think she can come check up on me, every now and then.  I can't see her, but she's takin' a peek. I loved her so.  And I'm so glad I got to be here when she was here.

Ya can't let fear of hurt keep ya from livin' in love, Big People.  And I love ya lots, Friends.  I'll see ya tomorrow.  Muah!

Friday, March 17, 2017

Don't Get Pinched!

Wear green!  Stay unpinched!
Hiya, Big People!  Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Well, ya know, today's the day where if you're not wearin' green, the leprechauns will pinch ya. I'll make this short!  Wear Green!  Don't Get Pinched!

I love ya lots, Friends!  I'll see ya tomorrow!


Thursday, March 16, 2017

Goin' Crazy to STIR Somethin'!

Maybe I'll hafta stir up a batch of dang ol' BROWNIES or something!
Hiya, Friends!  Happy Thursday to you!

Well, ya know, we recently received a whole what-load of snow, and it looks beautiful outside, but it has rendered me very much a home-body!

It's makin' me crazy to STIR something! 

I'm not sure what I'd like to stir.  I thought about pudding, but I want something a little more assertive than pudding.  You know.  Pudding is just sorta... well, blobby.  It takes on the shape of whatever container ya put it in.

And I don't wanna stir up ice cream.  It's cold outside.  I love ice cream, but I'm just not in the mood.

Maybe I'll hafta stir up a batch of dang ol' brownies or something.  It's good brownie-bakin' weather.  Now I just gotta figure out how to use the oven.  Mommy's kinda proprietary about the kitchen appliances.  We'll see.

In any case, it's pretty darn cold, Big People!  Stay warm.  Stay bundled up!  I love ya lots, Big People!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Ya Gotta Have Friends!

Here's me, with my old friend Abigail and my new friend Barry!
Hiya, Big People!  Happy Wednesday to you!

Well, ya know, I'm a kid who really gets a kick outta makin' new friends.  I also like to keep my old friends. 

I make new friends in a whole big globba places.  I make friends whenever I go to a restaurant.  The servers LOVE Zozie!  I make friends at Daddy's office.  I make friends when I'm at the mall or in stores.  Pizza shoppes are another place where I make lotsa friends.

Every once in a while, I'll make a new friend at the grocery store. 

But every blue moon or so, a new friend will come to my house, either via Federal Express or United Parcel Service, or even the United States Postal Service.  And these friends stay right at my house!

Such is the case with my pal Barry Bear!  He accompanied a half-dozen Ladybug Brownie Pops all the way from Shari's Berries, right to my door for Valentine's Day!  And he didn't even take a bite of one of those pops!  He kept 'em all safe for ME!

The brownie pops are long-gone, but Barry's gonna be stickin' around a lot longer!  How about that?!

I love ya lots, Friends!  You've been my friends for a long time, too!  I'm gonna hold right the heck onto you!  Muah!

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

It's Pi Day!

I'll be a monkey's cousin!  My pie-pick for Pi Day is Banana Creme!
Hiya, Big People!  Happy Tuesday to you!

Well, ya know, I was gonna talk about the snow, but then I realized that today's Pi Day- or 3-14! 

If ya remember back to math class, Pi is the value that you can use to calculate all kindsa things about circles.  Wanna know the circumference of a circle (which is a fancy way of sayin' the measurement of how big around the circle is)?  The formula is 2(pi) r, where "r" is the length of the radius.  Or half the way across the middle of the circle.

If ya need to find out what a circle's area is, like if ya made a cake and need to know how much icing to put on it to cover it, you'd use the formula Pi-r-squared!

Remember this by thinking "Pies are square!  Cakes are round!"  Because why on earth would ya wanna put icing on a pie anyways?  You got all that fruit fillin' in there that makes it sweet enough.  Puttin' icing on toppa all that would just be havin' too much sweet in a dessert, and this is comin' from a five and a half year old!

Yep.  I'm pretty new at mathing, but I'm already fascinated by the wonders of Pi, and I'm just glad as all get-out to get to celebrate Pi today.  I hope you do, too!

If I had the choice of what kinda pie to have in honor of Pi day, I'd pretty much pick banana creme pie today, because that's what I'm in the mood for!

I love ya lots, Friends!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Monday, March 13, 2017

Snow-Storm's A-Comin'!

Are you ready for all the snow?
Hiya, Big People!  Happy Monday to you!

Well, ya know, we have a big dang ol' snow-storm a-comin' tonight.  It is gonna snow bigly.  Hugely.  Enormously.

And we hafta be prepared.

You can be prepared for the BigHugeEnormous snowstorm-a-comin' by havin' water, food, snacks, warm blankets, cozy clothings, a DVR fulla fun television programs to watch, a snow-shovel, a sled, more snacks, some hot cocoa, marshmellas for your hot cocoa, some DVDs to watch, some colorin' books to color, and puh-lenty of toilet paper.

I think after havin' enough food and water, the most important thing not to run out of during a snowstorm is toilet paper.  Think of it, Big People.

Hey.  Ya better make a run to the store before the snow flies, Big People!  It's startin' at 8 tonight!  So be careful out there!  And buy toilet paper! 

I'll check in with ya tomorrow!  I love ya lots!  Muah!

Sunday, March 12, 2017

Rise Above

Rise far, far above your detractors, Friends!
Hiya, Big People!  Happy Sunday to ya!

Well, ya know, I pride myself on bein' a buoyant Little Kid.  I really do. 

But even I have my detractors and dementors.  One of my chief detractors and dementors is my frenemy Pidgie McDougall. 

Pidgie McDougall is something else, Big People.  We usedta work together over at The Company, before I left and became Donut Dude's Director of Donut Development.  Pidgie ran the switchboard, and whenever I was transferring a call, or havin' a call transferred to me, Pidgie would mis-direct the call.  Whenever we'd be shoppin' at the Little Kid Gourmet Grocery Store at the same time, Pidgie would race her cart to the deli section and buy up all the Marshmallow Salad from me.  This would still be goin' on, if I hadn't started shoppin' at Whole Foods Cut Up Into Quarters With The Crusts Off.  Pidgie won't set foot into that store, because she says it's too frou-frou for her.  That's fine with me!

Then there was the Valentine's Day that Pidgie got everybody in the office building a Valentine, but didn't get me one.  Sabretooth shared his Valentine from Pidgie with me.  There was the St. Patrick's Day that Pidgie pinched me, even though I was in head-to-toe green. 

My tales of woe at the hands of Pidgie McDougall could go onandonandon.  But I don't let Pidgie McDougall dull my sparkle or ruin my day or break my heart.  Nope!  What I DO do is Rise Above.  Sometimes, I close my eyes and visualize myself floatin' up and up above Pidgie. 

Other times, I get in the elevator at Donut Dude's World Headquarters, which is right across the street from my old Company I used to work at, and where Pidgie still works, and I make up a whole bunch of those water balloons that come on a stalk, and ya fill the whole batch all at once, and I gather up my Donut Development Team, and we go out on the balcony in the breakroom, and we pelt Pidgie McDougall with those water balloons when she comes and goes outta The Building across the street.

You can do things like that when ya rise above.  Hahahahaaha!

Seriously, though, Big People.  If someone's gettin' ya down, don't you let 'em!  You're tops in my book!  I love ya lots!  Muah!

Saturday, March 11, 2017

A Whole Big Globba Free Time!

I s'pose if I don't get any better ideas, I could always tidy my play-room!
Hiya, Big People!  Happy Saturday to you!

Well, ya know, sometimes when you realize you have a whole big globba Free Time, it can be a bit of a challenge, coming up with something fun to do to fill it up!  That's the position I'm in today.

You see, I want you to take special notice of my use of the word FUN.  I have lotsa things I could do to fill up my free time, like go through my clothes and take out the things I've outgrown... but unless that means I get to go on a shoppin' spree to replace 'em with bigger clothes, that isn't fun at all!

Another thing I could do is round up all my toys from around the house and organize my play-room.  Despite handling toys for hours in this scenario, this is not fun.  Toys are fun when they're bein' played with, but not so much when it's time to put 'em away.

Oh, well, Big People.  I'll figure something out.  It's Saturday, after all, and the Day Itself sort of imbues everything with a kind of fun and magic, I think.  Have a good one!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Friday, March 10, 2017

Day of Donut Reckoning!

At least I don't hafta try all the donuts developed in the Dog Donut Division!
Hiya, Big People!  Happy Friday to you!

Well, ya know, there's a new Donut Season coming up- Easter-time and all, and as Donut Dude's Director of Donut Development, I hafta give all the donuts we've developed a taste, before we make our final selections, to see which ones pass the taste-test, and which ones are just plain awful.

Sometimes, the ideas of my team and myself are really great, like the Eastertime we developed a partnership with Cadbury, and made Creme Eggs Benedict Donuts. 

They were some of the fanciest donuts we've ever created at Donut Dude's, Big People!  They were pretty much a meal contained in a donut, with the addition of a medium Bambinoccino!

This year, I fear we're comin' up short on Ideas for New.  We got to thinkin' about little baby-chicks at Eastertime, and decided to base a donut on baby-chick food, with yellow coconut flakes on the outside of the donut, to be reminiscent of downy-brand-new-baby-chick feathers. 

The result was a donut that tasted like the inside of a chicken coop, if you could deep-fry the inside of a chicken-coop and then roll the outside of it in yellow-food-colored coconut flakes.

Then we got to thinkin' about the Easter Bunny, and we did some research on what bunnies eat, and we found out that they eat food pellets, if they're kept in a hutch.  So we tried makin' some Rabbit Food Donuts, using the ingredients they make food pellets out of, then crushing up some actual rabbit food pellets on the outside.

Those donuts made the deep-fat-fried chicken coop donuts seem delicious by comparison.

Which leads me to my decision to call up the Cadbury people again this year and beg 'em to let us bring back the Creme Eggs Benedict Donuts, only for Eastertime.  I'm fairly confident that they'll let us, because those donuts are DELICIOUS cross-promotion opportunities, and also, we couldn't keep those donuts in our Donut Dude Cafe and Bake Shoppes a couple years back when we ran 'em.  People went crazy for 'em!

Anyways, on days like today, these Days of Donut Reckoning, I am super-thankful that I also do not have to eat all the donuts developed over in Dog Donut Development.  Oh, Lort, the other day, I smelled liver coming from over there.  It's just as well that Rozzie got hired to direct that operation!  I'll stick with my mixed bag of blessings, designing and developing donuts over in the human division of the company!

Count your blessings, Big People!  I love ya lots, and I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Thursday, March 9, 2017

It's My Half-Birthday!

I'm glad my pal Rozzie's been lookin' out for me on my half-birthdays for years!
Hiya, Big People!  Happy Thursday to you!

Well, ya know, today is my half-birthday.  Today, I am five and a half years old. 

It makes me remember my very first half-birthday.  On my very first half-birthday, I was six months old.  I was branching out into eatin' pureed foods.  It was a vast improvement over Similac all the time.


The prize I had my half-year-old eyes on was a half-birthday cake, and here's where my half-birthday took A Turn.  You see, Mommy fed me some pureed carrots.  That, I distinctly remember.  When I asked Mommy about my half-birthday cake, she said I'd had my half-birthday cake.

Well, I'm sure I woulda REMEMBERED a half-birthday cake, and I didn't remember it, so I inquired further about this half-birthday treat.  Mommy said she made me a carrot cake for my half-birthday, and bein' my half-birthday, she gave me half the carrot half-birthday cake...

...The CARROT half of the half-birthday cake.

Kept the cake part of the carrot cake for herself.

As you can imagine, this did NOT set well with me, and as a result, because it didn't set well with me, it didn't set well with my best pal Rozzie, and did she ever give Mommy what-for!

I'm so happy I have such a great pal, on my half-birthday and EVERY day.  Fight the power of the Big People, Big People!  I love ya lots, and I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

Well, How About That?! Wednesday!

Hey, there, Good-Lookin'!  Have I got a fact for you!
Hiya, Big People!  Happy Wednesday to you!

Well, ya know, recently, I got to visit a place called the Ripley's Believe It Or Not Odditorium.  It was chock fulla oddities and strangeness, and I found myself sayin' 'Well, how about THAT?!' every time I turned around or went through a new door!

So I decided that today, at least, I'm gonna make it "Well, How About That?! Wednesday!"  I'm gonna share something strange and or really interesting with you, and it'll be so phenomenal that you'll say "Well, how about THAT?!" and shake your head in disbelief and wonder.

Okay.  Here it goes!

Friends, did you even know that there was a time when ice cream sodas weren't allowed to be sold on Sundays?  It's true. Apparently, there was some kinda law on the books that forbade such illicit behavior as havin' a dang ol' root beer float or other kind of ice cream soda.  I guess they supposed it could lead to dancin'. 

Anyways, soda fountains still wanted to sell their wares, and they probably also wanted to sell the ice cream to happy eaters, so it wouldn't get old and ice-crystally, so they started scoopin' ice cream in dishes, addin' sauce like chocolate, strawberry, crushed up pineapple, peanuts, whip, sprinkles, cherries, and such stupendous fixin's, and sellin' that on Sundays.  They named the creation Ice Cream Sundae!

Nobody knows for sure where this happened first, but Buffalo AND Ithaca both say they were first.

I'm just thankful that somebody invented the ice cream sundae.  And I'm glad that havin' an ice cream soda on Sunday isn't an illegal activity anymore! 

We've come a long way, Babies!

So that has been your "Well, How About THAT?! Wednesday" for today, Big People!  I love ya lots, and I'll be seein' ya tomorrow, mmmkay?  Muah!

Tuesday, March 7, 2017

How To Make Tuesday More Fun!

Tuesday just needs a little sparkle, is all!
Hiya, Big People!

Well, if ya know me, and have been followin' along, you'll know that I have a deep concern for Tuesday.  It isn't as universally reviled as Monday, but it isn't as fun as Friday.

I've had so many brainstorms about how to make Tuesday less of the wet blanket of the workweek that I've pretty much had a brain-monsoon. 

Once I got everything all dried out from the brain-monsoon, I realized I had a wonderful idea to make Tuesday more fun, and that is by usin' fashion.  Usually, we save our sparkly fashion and our sequins for Saturday Night, which is fine, but thing of it is, Saturday has a lotta sparkle for itself.  But I don't think we should save our sparkle for Saturday. 

That's right, Big People!  Take a page straight outta my style-book and get those spangles and sequins out for Tuesday!

You'll be surprised how much more fun Tuesday is, when you bring your own sparkle with ya, in the form of your fashion!  Try it!

I love ya lots, Big People!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Monday, March 6, 2017


I have big ideas, Big People!
Hiya, Big People!  Happy Monday to you!

Well, ya know, recently, I had the opportunity to visit a really neat tower in Niagara Falls called the Skylon Tower!  Ya ride yellow-bug elevators up the outside of the stalk of the tower, and they even let ya go outside on a caged-in observation deck!

I'm glad there's a cage on that observation deck, because it's WINDY up that high!  You're up so high you can see TORONTO in the distance!  How about that?!

Anyways, I really got a big kick outta the Skylon Tower, but I have some ideas about how it could be even more fun!

It looks like a space-ship!  And that's why I think they oughtta dress the elevator operators up like astronauts!  They could have everybody who works at the Skylon Tower dress like astronauts or aliens!  They have the start of a really neat arcade down in the bottom.  They could make it like a really cool space cantina arcade where people can go to play old-school video games if they want, or also play Skee-Ball and Dance-Dance Revolution and such. 

As for the restaurant, I understand that they try to be fancy up there, but I think they oughtta err on the side of FUN!  People just aren't into payin' Thirty-Five Dollars for an elevator ride and then shellin' out a whole big globba money for Tryin' To Be Fancy.  They need to go for fun up there.  Like the Jetsons or something.  Give people a dang ol' REASON to ride to the that restaurant and grabba bite to eat!

They could sell space-themed stuff in all the gift shoppes!  Astronaut Ice Cream, People!  I was flabbergasted that a place that looks like an alien spaceship did not have one package of Astronaut Ice Cream in any of its gift shoppes!  They can still sell their Niagara Falls and Canada stuff, but if you're gonna look so unabashedly like a space-ship, drive that lunar rover right the heck HOME!

See, Big People?!  If you'd just give me and other Little Kids a crack at the world, we might just get everything all fixed before our imaginations expire!

Think about it!

I love ya lots, Big People!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Sunday, March 5, 2017

Goin' Hollywood

Big shades equal big sun protection!
Hiya, Big People!  Happy Sunny Sunday to you!

Well, ya know, a great way to protect your eyes from the Sun's warm and pretty yet mostly harmful and aging rays is by wearin' big glasses with dark lenses!

And sunscreen.

But nobody sees your sunscreen.  Sunscreen is the silent protector against photo-aging.  Wear it, but it isn't exciting.

Sunglasses, however, are seen by EVERYBODY.  They're exciting.  They're fashionable.  Most of all, sunglasses are FUN!

Put 'em on!  Wear 'em!  Sunglasses are where it's at!  Go Hollywood with me!

I love ya lots!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Saturday, March 4, 2017

Stellar Saturday!

First stop: Mars!  To get more candy bars! 
Hiya, Friends! 

Well, ya know, yesterday presented me with a little bit of a frusteration, what with all the pop-quizzes about days and months and seasons.  And also what letters start some of my fravrite words.  I didn't tell ya about that portion of the quizzapalooza yesterday, 'cause I didn't want ya to say I as just a'goin' on and on with the blah, blah, blah.

I know how you Big People talk, you know.

Anyways, today is a New Day.  It's not even just a New Day, it's SATURDAY!

Now, today, I'm pretendin' the dentist's office is a space-ship.  If ya really use your imagination like I like to do, chairs at the dentist's office are a lot like the chairs you'd expect to find on a spaceship, if spaceships were built by the people who design the chairs for the dentist's office!

When I pretend to go to Space, the first place I like to stop is Mars, because everybody knows ya go to Mars to get more candy bars.  It's also a nearby and convenient place to stop to fuel up the spaceship, take a good potty-stop, and get the warp-coils all checked out, because once ya go past the Van Allen Radiation Belt, Space gets real!

Now, once we leave Mars, we just keep rocketing right past Jupiter.  If ya go to Jupiter, ya get more stupider, no matter what the Tourism Committee for the Giant Gas Planet Jupiter says in their travel brochures.  But we hafta go by Jupiter kinda slow, on account of there's no warp-speed allowed until ya leave the Solar System.  Even though Pluto isn't a planet anymore, it still counts as bein' in the Solar System limits, but it's okay.  They put a neat little souvenir shoppe on Pluto, so ya wouldn't wanna go rocketin' past that, too fastly.

After that, it's wide-open Space!  Ya can fire up those warp-coils and go anywheres!

Choose your own adventure, Big People!  I love ya lots!  See ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Friday, March 3, 2017

Frusterating Friday.

I just wanna wear my crazy pants and chill.
Well, Friends, it's Friday, and I'm havin' a frusteratin' time. 

It all started this morning, when I was in the tub, just mindin' my own business, havin' Mommy blow some bubbles for me so I could pop 'em.  It's a lotta fun. 

Sometimes, when I'm in the tub, I like to hear stories about my Flying Cupcake Mobile I take on adventures.  It's like a book being written, on demand, just for me!

My point is, I don't like to have my tub time interfered with.

But somehow, insteadda tellin' me stories of the Flying Cupcake Mobile, Mommy starts askin' me to name the days of the week.  In order.  Like I'm a calendar or something.

So, fine.  I said, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Friday!

Evidently that's not good enough.  So I tried to tell Mommy that insteadda listin' the days of the week the way they are, I wanted to list 'em as I wish they would be. 

Who WOULDN'T wanna go straight from Tuesday to Friday?

Mommy.  That's who.  So my bathtime turned into a whole big globba pop quizzes.  When's my birthday?  What are the four seasons?  Which season are we in right now?  What holidays occur in Fall?  When's my birthday?  What are the months of the year? What day is it?  Can I list the days of the week?

Over-n-over-n-over again.  It was the worst!

And I still, STILL haven't listed the days of the week good enough to make the quizzin' stop. 

That's why today's Frusteratin' Friday, Big People.  There are too many questions flying around.  Not enough just plain tub time.  And it doesn't seem like it's gonna stop any time soon.

Thursday, March 2, 2017

Thirsting for Knowledge Thursday!

You're gonna be thirsty for something this Thursday- might as well be knowledge, Friends!
Hiya Friends!

Hey, you know, quite often, Thursdays are billed as "Thirsty Thursday," and from my research, I've gathered that it's an occasion for establishments to run specials on beverages, probably in an effort to help people hydrate themselves properly. 

I think proper hydration is key, and it'd be ideal if everybody hydrated properly throughout the whole week, but Thirsty Thursday is as good a place as any to start, I suppose!

Anyways, what I'm thirsting for today is KNOWLEDGE!  I wanna learn things! I wanna learn about how to be a more effective learner of things!  So I'm dubbing today "Thirsting for Knowledge Thursday!" and celebrating it by studyin' up on a whole big globba things!

You're never too old to celebrate Thirsting for Knowledge Thursday, Friends!  There's always something new to learn, or something deeper to learn about something you're already fairly well-versed in!  I encourage you to join me in celebrating this wonderful day!

I love ya lots, Big People!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Wednesday, March 1, 2017

It's Ask Wednesday!

Knowledge is power, Big People!
Hiya, Friends!  Happy Wednesday to you!  Today's a special Wednesday, because it's Ask Wednesday, a day when we all ask a buncha questions, so we can be smarter and know more about things!

You know, if I had my way, every day would be Ask Wednesday, because if ya don't ask questions, ya don't get answers, and if ya don't get answers, ya don't gain knowledge. 

And if there's anything I've learned in my life, Big People, it's that knowledge is power.

I know what I'm asking on this Ask Wednesday, but the things you ask are entirely up to you.  I can't tell ya what to ask about.  We don't have the same knowledge of things, and the things I ask about, you might already know.  And vice-versa.

But I am tellin' ya to ask.  Ask away.  Ask all the questions, and don't worry about lookin' silly for it.  Ya already DON'T know the answers, and askin' won't make ya lose a darn thing. 

I love ya lots, Friends!  Happy Ask Wednesday!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!