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Tuesday, June 3, 2014

The Curious Case of S. Cargo

You're pulling my leg.  People don't eat snails, do they?
Friends, I have another Lerbert the Lobster situation on my hands.  Recently, I was acquainted with a snail named S. Cargo. 

I couldn't help but notice that S. Cargo carries his house around on his back, and I thought that was fascinating, so I came home and looked it up in my Big Board Book of Snails board book, and as it turns out, snails DO carry their houses around on their backs.  Kind of like an organic Airstream travel trailer.

I'd love an Airstream travel trailer for day trips, Friends.  I love the idea of carryin' around all the comforts of home, wherever I go!

But that isn't the Lerbert situation of all this with my friend S. Cargo.  As it turns out, people EAT snails!  What?  What is that all about?  You Big People will eat just about anything, won't you?  Won't you???

What makes matters worse is that even though I know snails like S. Cargo are going to be eaten, I just can't bring myself to beg Mommy and Daddy for a snail tank of my very own.  I feel bad for those snails and all, but I just can't see myself striking up any rapport with a snail.  Lobsters, they have personality.  Snails, though...

I don't know, Friends.  I think I'm gonna hafta wanna just put it in my left pocket that people eat snails and pay lotsa good money to do so.  I'll just imagine my friend S. Cargo as a happy traveling snail, and not think about the dark truth.  If that makes me a denier, so be it.  I can't help those snails.

You know what I can help, though?  Little Giraffes.  I betchya thought I'd forgotten all about my work with the Little Giraffes.  I have not.  I just don't talk about it all the time, because I was gettin' complaints about havin' a one-track mind.

See ya tomorrow, Friends! Don't eat any snails today, mmmmmkay?  Maybe that's how I can help S. Cargo, even though he didn't ask me for help or behave as though he particularly cared that I was talking to him.  Be kind and don't eat any snails today, just the same, mmmmkay?  Love ya lots!  Muah!

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