Bathtub Philosophizing

I do my best thinking in the tub.

Hiya, Friends!  I have a confession to make.  I do my best thinkin' in the tub.  I'm quite a bathtub philosopher, when you get right down to it.   It's why I get so skinny around the nose whenever my bathtime gets cut way short.  You never know.  I could have had a Major Breakthrough Thought of Epic Proportions if my bathtime hadn't been cut tragically short.  You just never know, Friends!  You never know!

Now, as you can see, I like to put on a bubble goatee when I do my bathtub philosophizing.  Whenever I think of Great Thinkers, I see them with goatees on.  Even the women Great Thinkers.  It's just a thing I have with goatees.

Do I have any single specific topic I philosophize about when I'm in the tub?  Not really.  I just commune with whichever and whatever thoughts flutter on down to my tub on any given morning.

The bubble-goatee helps the ideas flow!

I like to ponder things like why you're not supposed to wear white shoes after Labor Day and before Memorial Day.  I don't have white shoes.  I have silver shoes, purple shoes, a pair of red cowboy boots, and a pair of pink cowboy boots.  No white shoes.

After a lifetime of puzzlement over that no white shoes after Labor Day and Before Memorial Day rule, it finally occurred to me the other day in the tub why that is.  See, a while back, maybe this time last year, I was terrified of shoes.  I'd put my feet in them, and my feet would disappear and go to another dimension, I just know it.  I mean, think about it!  Your feet go in, you can't see 'em, so the only logical conclusion to come to is that shoes are tiny portals to another dimension, taking your feet to where they're revered as five-toed deities.  Unless you're wearing uncomfortable shoes, in which case, your feet are transported to a dimension where feet are tortured.  That's bad.

Of course, it's important to think without the goatee, too.

This time last year, I didn't know I could control what kind of dimension I was sending my feet to when I put them into shoes.  I've since learned that comfortable shoes send your feet to a nice dimension, and uncomfortable shoes send your feet to the torture-dimension.  And that brings me to that rule about no white shoes I've mentioned.

See, oftentimes, in the months between Labor Day and Memorial Day, there's snow on the ground.  It's that way where I'm from, anyway.  So just suppose that somebody wearing white shoes stepped into some snow, and their whole foot, shoe and all disappeared!  Whaaaaaaaaat?!  I don't think anybody has to imagine that horror.

And I would be willing to bet that the person who made up that rule had that exact thing happen to them one day.  They were afraid that the snow was going to cause a short in their white shoes, and send the whole works to the Antarctic Dimension, where feet freeze on arrival.  So to save everybody from that terror, they said no white shoes during winter.

Makes sense. 

But bubbles make everything better!

But I bet that person didn't see sneakers coming.  Or white snow boots with Thinsulate lining inside.  So even if your feet get sent to the Antarctic Dimension, they're gonna be warm while they're there, thanks to those new modern technological advances. 

Think about it, Friends!  I figured all that out during my bath in the tub one day! 

Now, last week, I was thinking on this governmental sequester business.  I was thisclose to figuring out a solution to all the problems, but Mommy dragged me out of the tub when I'd only been in there for about a minute, and by the time I got back in the tub the next day, I couldn't wrap my head around the sequester and could only think about whether I like tartar sauce made from sweet pickles better, or tartar sauce made from dills better. 

We missed out on some serious brilliance on that one, Friends, and it's all Mommy's fault for prematurely ending my bath that day. 

Tomorrow's a new day, though, so you never know what I'm going to philosophize about.  We'll all just hafta stay tuned, won't we?