Not Today

I'm pretty sure February's gonna live to see another day!

Hiya, Friends! 

Well, ya know, it's February Twenty-Eighth, and usually, the Twenty-Eighth means the end of the line for the month of February.  But this year's a special year that only comes around once every four years, so that means that the Summer Olympics are gonna come back in a few months!  How about that?!

I'm really lookin' forward to the gymnasts most.  That's the sport for me.  Last time the Summer Olympics were around, I was too little to really get to do any gymnastics, on accounta I was just a baby and couldn't walk yet. 

This time around, I have a plan.  My reading nest makes a really great crash-mat for doin' jump-flips off'n my toybox.  The couches are great springboards and flip-mats.  And for my real show-stopper, I think I'm gonna grab onto a chandelier and do a modified rings routine.  It's gonna be gold-medal stuff, you know.

And it's all because usually on the Twenty-Eighth, February comes to an end.

But not today.

Not today.

Hey, Big People!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  I love ya lots!  Muah!

When This Ol' World Starts Gettin' Me Down

I like my sparkly pink uke, but I bet a sparkly pink drumset would really work!

Hiya, Big People!  Happy Saturday to you!

Well, ya know, sometimes when Life just seems kinda rough, the best I can do is sit down with my sparkly pink ukulele, and think about all the songs I'd write if I knew how to read or write music, or words, or play the ukulele. 

I don't like to let lack of knowing facts slow me down a doodle, though, Big People, so you can bet that all the songs I'm writin' in my head are phenomenal.  I mean, certified chart-toppers.

Back to that sparkly pink ukulele, Friends, you know, it's hard to feel bad when you're holdin' a sparkly pink ukulele in your hands.  I mean, you've gotta really be committed to feelin' bad if pink glitter doesn't put a smile on your face.

I suspect, though, that if I had a sparkly pink drum set to bang on when I'm in a Mood, that would make an even more quantifiable difference in the way I feel.  It would pretty much have to!

Anyways, Friends, I'll feel the best I can with what I have.  My pink ukulele and the songs in my head.  I'll see ya tomorrow!  I love ya lots!  Muah!

Whatchya Gonna Do? Whatchya Gonna Do?!

Whatchya gonna do?

Hiya, Big People!  Happy Friday to you! 

Well, ya know, sometimes as a Little Kid, I hafta make tough decisions, and in my tough decision-making, I find that while I cannot make everybody happy all the time, it's easy as instant pudding for me to make at least some of the somebodies around me mad.

It doesn't even matter what decisions I'm making.  Somebody's always gonna be mad at me over 'em.

When I was younger, this usedta really bother me.  I usedta twist myself into a pretzel, tryin' to make everybody happy with my decisions.  But thingofitis, if one groupa people is happy, that very fact can irk another groupa people.  So then, I'd try pleasin' them, and that would irritate someone else. 

Then I realized that some people get really happy when others are miserable. 

So you know what I do now, Big People?  I figure I won't go out of my way to hurt anybody's feelings or irritate people, but I've gotta do what makes me happy and what pleases me, and if other people like that fine, but if some don't, well... whatchya gonna do?  That's on them.  I can only do my best and their moods aren't my responsibility. 

I just wish I'd figured this out when I was younger, Big People!  Woulda saved me a LOT of trouble!

Anyways, I love ya lots.  You bet I do!  And I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Queen of All Drama

It's a tough job, but I can pretty much handle it!

Hiya, Friends!  Happy Thursday to you! 

Well, ya know, there's a good reason I'm wearin' a crown today, and that's because I am holdin' court as Queen of All Drama.

It isn't so easy bein' the Queen of All Drama, you know.  In addition to creating my own drama, which is the Queen's chief responsibility, I also hafta hear and moderate the drama of all my kingdom. 

Needless to say, this fabulous gold and ermine crown isn't the most dramatic drama being dramatized today!

Somebody has to be the Queen of All Drama, though, Friends.  Someone has to keep the order.  Without a Queen of All Drama, there'd be Drama flying every which way.  There'd be nobody to rein it all in. 

That's where I come in.  I listen to the drama.  I dole out some drama.  I tell people to save certain drama for their mama.  Funnily enough, MY Mama doesn't like the drama I save for her.  That complicates matters, but you know?  I can handle it.  I can handle it all, Friends!

Hey.  I'll see ya tomorrow.  I love ya lots!  Muah!

Morning Meeting Mayhem!

Welcome to our Partners in Mayhem Morning Huddle!

Hiya, Big People!  Happy Wednesday to ya!

Well, ya know, Rozzie and I start off every day with a morning meeting so that we can plan out our day and strategize on how we're going to drive Mommy nuts for the day.  Most people think that a four-year-old and a German Shepherd Dog just naturally spread chaos, but in reality, everything we do is a carefully-contrived, concerted effort.  You bet it is.

Since I have the advantage of opposable thumbs and the ability to use a stylus to write on the Boogie Board, I usually lead the meetings, but that doesn't mean there isn't a power-struggle a lot of days, between me and Rozzie.  You see, I have the thumbs and the writing know-how, but Rozzie has seniority.

Anyways, we plan out our day's mayhem.  Some of it is on a regular daily rotation, like the way I demand that Mommy get me something else, just as soon as she sits down or gets into a new project, while Rozzie's specialty is ringing the bell to go outside, only to lie down on the floor and refuse to go outside once Mommy gets me my milk and gets to the door to let out Rozzie.  We've been known to keep the old lady hoppin' for the better part of the day, just alternating between those two things!

For special flare on any given day, we plan other mayhem.  Perhaps I decide I'm going to be argumentative and stubborn on a day, and vehemently fight any attempt at putting me down for a nap.  That crap used to work when I was a baby, but I am a four-year-old now.  I sleep when I decide I sleep.  Occasionally, Rozzie urps all over the floor.  That shuts down the flow of a regular day in short order. Also, there's the constant barking.  Between my arguing and stubbornness, and Rozzie's incessant barking, I'm really surprised that Mommy isn't actually nuts by now.  I mean, there's some days when Rozzie and I get together to talk about how it's going, and we're making ourselves insane with our antics.

So as you can see, it takes a LOT of work and preparation to cause as much mayhem as Rozzie and I do, day-in, day-out.  It takes some serious talent to be this disruptive.  Some dedication.

I love ya lots, Big People!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

There's Always Something to Smile About!

When the weather outside gets really frightful, I get a surprise day with Daddy!

Hiya, Friends!  Happy Tuesday to you!

So!  How's it goin'?  Didja enjoy the warm, sunny weather we had yesterday?  Sure is a far cry from the way the weather was acting last week, isn't it? 

That got me to thinkin' about you Big People, and how you don't really like it when the weather acts up and dumps a wintry mix, heavy on the slush and ice, on ya. 

I understand that it makes travel difficult and messes up plans.  I know it can even make the electricity go out, which also makes me mad, but not as mad as it makes some of you Big People, that's for true!

Thing of it is, even when the weather outside gets really frightful, with the wind and the rain and the ice and the slush and the snow and the ice, there's always something that can be smiled about.  For instance, during last week's rotten weather, my Daddy closed his office for the day, so nobody would be on the roads, trying to get to or from the dentist's office.  It made for a really nice surprise, getting Daddy home for a day.  So I can't be mad at the bad weather. 

Always find something to smile about in your situations, Big People.  I love ya lots!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Ten Dollars' Play Money's Worth of Free Advice to the Sabres

Here in my hand is a fake tenner and a buncha ideas for hockey improvement.

Hiya, Friends!

Well, ya know, yesterday, I went to the dang ol' First Niagara Center for a Sabres game.  I like to watch the hockey.  I mean, I am a hockey fan.

Now that I've attended a Big League Game, though, lemme wanna tell ya some of the things I liked, and some of the things I think can be improved upon.

First, the things about the game that were pretty great: Gramma and Pop-Pop went with us.  And I got my own seat at the Arena.  And I got ice cream during the second period.

Now, there's a buncha things I think could use a little re-examination, but I have solutions, which I will present to you presently.  First of all, it takes so long to get up to the dang ol' hockey game.  Buffalo is two hours away, and that's a long time for a Little Kid to be in the car.  The Sabres could make this better for me by relocating to Wellsville.  The Wellsville Sabres has a nice ring to it.  Long ride problem solved. 

Next, I SAW Sabretooth, and that was awesome.  Thing of it is, he was all the way across the arena from me.  That was a big bummer, because you know how much I love Sabretooth.  Well.  That's easy.  They could assign Sabretooth to be my personal entertainment detail, should I attend another hockey game in the big barn, which would also take care of another problem, which is that those twenty-minute hockey periods are false advertising, and I get bored.  Turns out, it's twenty minutes of playing time, not twenty real minutes.  So with all the TV breaks and stoppages in play, those twenty minuteses turn into a lot longer.

Finally, although I got to eat ice cream, I had to wait until the second period for it, and then, I had to wait in a long line, and also, I wanted my ice cream in a cone, and Daddy got it for me in a dish, so I made my disgust and anger known and it got me in hot water with Mommy, and she said she was gonna take me back to the car, but I didn't wanna go back to the car, and then finally, I ignored her enough to get to eat my ice cream, but by then, she was constantly on my case about 'Zoe, do you hafta go to the potty?'   It's like it's a broken record with my mother.  Geez, lady!  Gimme a break, wouldja?

Problem solved: I should just get a box with me, Sabretooth, Gramma, Pop-Pop, Daddy, and Perry's Ice Cream dipped on demand.  As for Mommy, she can sit somewheres else at the hockey game.  I'm kinda mad at her.

So that's that, Friends!  Have a good Monday!  I've gotta get on the phone to see about setting all this in motion, so I have a big day ahead of me.  I love ya lots!  Muah!