Ten Dollars' Play Money's Worth of Free Advice to the Sabres

Here in my hand is a fake tenner and a buncha ideas for hockey improvement.

Hiya, Friends!

Well, ya know, yesterday, I went to the dang ol' First Niagara Center for a Sabres game.  I like to watch the hockey.  I mean, I am a hockey fan.

Now that I've attended a Big League Game, though, lemme wanna tell ya some of the things I liked, and some of the things I think can be improved upon.

First, the things about the game that were pretty great: Gramma and Pop-Pop went with us.  And I got my own seat at the Arena.  And I got ice cream during the second period.

Now, there's a buncha things I think could use a little re-examination, but I have solutions, which I will present to you presently.  First of all, it takes so long to get up to the dang ol' hockey game.  Buffalo is two hours away, and that's a long time for a Little Kid to be in the car.  The Sabres could make this better for me by relocating to Wellsville.  The Wellsville Sabres has a nice ring to it.  Long ride problem solved. 

Next, I SAW Sabretooth, and that was awesome.  Thing of it is, he was all the way across the arena from me.  That was a big bummer, because you know how much I love Sabretooth.  Well.  That's easy.  They could assign Sabretooth to be my personal entertainment detail, should I attend another hockey game in the big barn, which would also take care of another problem, which is that those twenty-minute hockey periods are false advertising, and I get bored.  Turns out, it's twenty minutes of playing time, not twenty real minutes.  So with all the TV breaks and stoppages in play, those twenty minuteses turn into a lot longer.

Finally, although I got to eat ice cream, I had to wait until the second period for it, and then, I had to wait in a long line, and also, I wanted my ice cream in a cone, and Daddy got it for me in a dish, so I made my disgust and anger known and it got me in hot water with Mommy, and she said she was gonna take me back to the car, but I didn't wanna go back to the car, and then finally, I ignored her enough to get to eat my ice cream, but by then, she was constantly on my case about 'Zoe, do you hafta go to the potty?'   It's like it's a broken record with my mother.  Geez, lady!  Gimme a break, wouldja?

Problem solved: I should just get a box with me, Sabretooth, Gramma, Pop-Pop, Daddy, and Perry's Ice Cream dipped on demand.  As for Mommy, she can sit somewheres else at the hockey game.  I'm kinda mad at her.

So that's that, Friends!  Have a good Monday!  I've gotta get on the phone to see about setting all this in motion, so I have a big day ahead of me.  I love ya lots!  Muah!