Me and My Daddo! (Happy Father's Day!)

My Daddy is the Apple of my Eye!

Friends, it's a special day, so I'd like to keep this short-n-sweet.

It's Father's Day.  I love Father's Day, because I love my Daddy a whole big globba love.  Any day I get to spend a lotta time with my Daddy is the BEST DAY EVER!

So.  Happy Father's Day, Daddo!  

Friends, I'll be back tomorrow, but today, Daddy and I have some serious playin' to do!  Muah!

Tech Support Crunch

This is gonna be a while, Friends.  You might wanna go have breakfast and lunch.

Oh, Friends, have you ever really boogered something up, technologically-speaking, and then had to wanna hafta call and talk to Tech Support to figure out how to fix it together?  Has that ever happened to you?  It's happened to me.

More times than I'd like to admit, actually.

What really gets me is that you hafta go on hold all the time.  Please hold.  I'm gonna hafta putchya on hold.  Would you mind if I putchya on hold while I look this up?

It's holding madness, Friends!  Pure and utter madness!

All that holding takes up a lotta time.  But that's nothing, compared to all the time ya waste when ya hafta explain what the problem is and how it occurred to every new person you held the line for.  What were they doin' all that time you were on the hold?  Don't they talk to each other?

And then, after you've been on hold, and explained your life story yet again... darned if you aren't put on hold for transfer all over again!

Callin' Tech Support is kinda Kafka-esque, isn't it, Friends?  And not in the fun Metamorphosis way, if that can even be called fun.

Anyway, Big People.  I love ya lots.  Try to be nice to the Tech Support people, even if you would like to squish their little heads.  We're all in this together.  I love ya lots!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Weekly Warriors!

We are the Weekly Warriors!

Hiya, Friends! 

Welp, it looks like we made it to another Friday!  That's sayin' something! 

Not that this week was overly difficult to deal with.  In fact, it was a pretty darned GOOD week, if ya ask me.  It's just that makin' it to Friday always feels like such an accomplishment, doesn't it?  Makin' it to Friday makes me feel like...

A Weekly Warrior!  That's what!

Maybe that's why we all like Fridays so much.  Because we kept on keepin' on all week.  We got up and did the whole grind thing.  We dragged ourselves home after a long and busy day, four days in a row.

And then we woke up this morning to find ourselves back at Friday.  Of course, there'll be keepin' on to keep on doing today.  There'll be that whole daily grind thing. 

But tonight when we drag ourselves home, we won't be draggin', because it's FRIDAY!  And Fridays just automatically put a spring in your step.

Hey, I love ya lots, Friends!  I'll be seein' ya tomorrow, mmmkay?!  Muah!

Livin' La Vida Zoe-B!

To truly live the Zoe-B life, you gotta be willing to dance and dance and dance!

Hiya, Friends!

I know I harp a lot on dancin' on this blog, but it really is an important thing that makes me Me. 

I dance when I'm happy, because I just can't help but get up and move when I'm happy!  I dance when I'm mad, because that works all that energy out.  I dance when I'm feelin' down, because it lifts me up.  I dance when I'm nervous for the same reason. 

I even dance when I hafta go to the potty, because... well, who DOESN'T dance when they hafta go to the potty?!  It's just a Good Thing To Do.  Especially if ya can manage to run to the potty AND dance.

So you see, in order to live La Vida Zoe-B, you've gotta be willing to embrace the whole dance of Life.  That's all there is to it, Friends!  Make up your own dance!  Live your own Vida!

I love the heck right outta ya, and I'll be seein' ya tomorrow.  Until then, Dance!  Muah!

Stop! It's Hammer-Time!

Stop!  You can tell I'm serious by the way I'm standing!

Friends! Have you ever noticed that there's a lot of musics out there with the word "Stop!" in 'em?  It's true.  And I find this really ironic, because nearly all of the "Stop!" songs just make me wanna get up and go, go, go!

Don't believe me?  Get out your music collection and listen to these songs and tell me if I'm not right:

"Stop in the Name of Love" by the Supremes

"Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough" by Michael Jackson

"Stop! Stop! Stop!" by the Hollies

"I Can't Stop Dancin'" by Archie Bell and the Drells

"Don't Stop Believin'" by Journey

"Nothin's Gonna Stop Us Now" by Jefferson Airplane Starship

"Stop" by the Spice Girls

"Please Don't Stop the Music" by Rihanna

Then, of course you have these songs in which "Stop" features prominently in the lyrics of the song:

"Keep It Comin' Love!" by KC and the Sunshine Band

"Ice Ice Baby" by Vanilla Ice

"U Can't Touch This" by MC Hammer

"Don't Come Around Here No More" by Tom Petty

"Rubber-neckin'" by Elvis Presley

That oughtta give you a good playlist to get started with today, Friends, and if you're anything like me, you'll notice that "Stop!" is a really funny-looking word if you see it and say it enough!

Well, Friends, I have some big stuff to do, and I'm sure you do, too, so I'm gonna letchya go, and I'll see ya tomorrow!  I love ya LOTS!  Muah!

Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Starfruit!

I don't know about this.  I do not know about this!

Hiya, Friends!

Hey, have you ever tried carambola?  Another name it goes by is starfruit.  It's a tropical fruit that you an get at Wegmans. 

In the produce bin, it just looks like a weird yellow fruit.  when ya wash it and slice it crossways, it looks like stars.  That's where it gets the name 'starfruit.'  You don't hafta peel it at all.  The skin is kind of easy to eat.

It looks pretty.  I'll give starfruit that much.

But the taste.  I don't know, Friends.  I'm not sold on the way on the taste.  It reminded me a little bit of a giant yella star-shaped grape, texture wise.  That's exactly what it's like in texture. 

Flavor-wise, I don't know even what to tell ya.  Something like a pear and kiwifruit, but kind of watery in flavor.  Not so much in texture.  The texture is still like that of a grape that's big enough to slice up and eat like that.  But with proportionally thicker skin.

Another disappointment is that starfruit doens't make ya twinkle like a star or give you any other superpowers besides bein' able to say you've eaten a starfruit, and when ya come right down to it, that's a pretty lame superpower.

Yeah, I don't know what to tell ya about starfruit, Friends.  I guess it's okay.  It isn't awful.  I wouldn't buy it again, but maybe if I was at someone else's house, and they had some starfruit and offered me some, and told me not to be shy about eatin' it, because they need to eat it up, or they need the space in their fridge, or what have you, I'd say, 'sure, pass me a slice'a' that dang ol' starfruit.  I'll help ya out.'

I'd say that, but there'd need to be either a bit of arm-twisting or maybe another reward like a big Hershey bar after I ate the starfruit, or a trip to a nice mall sometime.

Starfruits aren't for me, Friends.  At least not right now.

But seein' you every day IS for me!  And I'm sure glad you have me along for your ride.  I'll be seein ya tomorrow!  Love ya lots!  Muah!

Well How About That?!

Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle's niece!

 

Friends, sometimes people tell me the most incredible things, and I am at a loss for what to say in response. 

You know how it is.  Somebody pulls a quarter out from behind your ear, and that's MAGIC, right there, so what do you do?  What do you say?  "Thank you?"  Hardly seems appropriate, and that's unusual, because I think it's most of the time appropriate to say "Thank you."  You could say "Whoa!" I suppose.  But you wouldn't want your magician friend to mistakenly think you've mistaken them for a horse, or they won't be so inclined to pull quarters out from behind your ears then, and that could really cut into your walkin' around money if you're Threena Half.

Also, when a Big Person takes your nose, they seem to be wantin' to get a rise outta ya.  Maybe they wantchya to say "Give me my nose back!"  or "What'd ya do that for?!"  I've never risen to this particular bait, Friends.  I've had my nose taken so many times, you'd think I'd just have a spot on the middle of my face that says "Zoe's nose usedta be here," but in fact, I sure don't!  I seem to still have my nose, at least as evidenced by the fact that I can still smell something delicious from a ZIP code away.  Maybe my nose just has extreme regenerative powers.  I'm guessing not, though.  Something's fishy here, with this gotchyer nose bit.

But what DO I say in times suchas these?  What can a little kid say to convey shock and awe, without putting emotions into it? 

"Well, how about that?!"  Is my go-to, Friends.  The way you say it changes the meaning.  It's the pashmina shawl of expressions.  Versatile, classic, suits a variety of different sizes and ages and such.  everybody can use it.

Another rising favorite of mine, that's trending with me right now, is "I'll be a monkey's uncle's niece."  But whenever I say it, I get a nearly uncontrollable hankering for bananas and banana products.  Not sure what's up with that!

I might not always know what the right thing to say at the right time is, Friends, but I do know I just love ya to pieces.  You're good people.  And I'll be seein' ya tomorrow.  Muah!