Pi r-Squared! Cakes Are Round!

The area of that circle is wherever the circle is located!  I am great at Math!

Hiya, Friends!  Happy Pi Day to you!

I got all excited about Pi Day, on accounta I thought it was about Pie, not Pi.  There's a difference.  That seemingly superfluous "e" on the end of "pi" to spell "pie" makes all the difference in the world to the meaning of what today means.

You see, because today's 3/14, Math Enthusiasts call it "Pi Day," because pi represents 3.14 and is used to calculate the area of circles.

I don't really understand at this point in my academic career why a circle's area has to be calculated, when isn't it sufficient to just point to the circle and say, "It's right there, in that general area?"  But you Big People really go crazy, talkin' about Pi, calculatin' areas of circles, namin' days after Pi.

What I wanna know is where can I get a nice slice of coconut creme pi?  Or maybe a slice of pizza pi. I guess that's the way you fancy Big People celebrate Pi Day.  I fully support this.

Anyways, Friends, it's also Monday, so have a great Monday.  I love the dickens right outta ya, and THAT
needs no calculation.  How the heck right about that?!  Muah!

We Did the Timewarp Again!

I got here an hour early, but everything else, I'm an hour late on today!

Friends!  Hiya!  It's me, your pal Zoe! 

Hey.  Do you feel like you're runnin' an hour late, despite feeling like you got up at your regular time today?  Well, there's a reason for that. 

We've done the Timewarp again, Big People.  It wasn't really a step to the left, then a jump to the right, but we definitely did the Timewarp again last night!

You see, we changed our clocks ahead an hour once again last night.  Just took that dang ol' minute-hand and gave it a parade lap into the Future, and here we are.

This timewarp always messes me right the heck up, Big People.  I was used to it being daylight when I got up in the morning, and now it's dark again.  And then when it's Bedtime, I'm never ready.  I mean, I never am ready for bedtime when we're on Standard Time, so now after our timewarp, I feel like Mommy and Daddy are tryin' to put me to bed in the middle of the afternoon.  Because guess what.  It's still daylight at my bedtime.

This is ridiculous, Big People!  I don't like it.  Not one little bit. 

But I do like you.  I'll see ya tomorrow, Big People!  Muah!

It Just Isn't My Patoot

Cleanin' up just isn't my patoot, Big People!

Hiya, Big People!  So!  How's it going?

You know, if ya follow me, you know I am very specific about setting up my boundaries, personally, professionally, and literally.  Sometimes these literal boundaries involve makin' a defensive wall with the toys in my play room, and as it turns out, Mommy and Daddy have boundary issues, quite literally, with my literal boundaries.

See, they don't see the beauty in a Wall of Toys as a defensive structure.  In fact, they see my defensive walls of toys as nothing more than a "mess."  And they very strongly suggest- and I really mean COMMAND- for me to "clean up my mess!"

Well, ya know what?  Cleanin' up my defensive wall of toys just isn't my patoot, and I tell 'em so.  Sometimes I hafta tell 'em it isn't my patoot, even while they're forcing me to dismantle my brilliantly genius defensive structures.   They just laugh and laugh.  It makes me really mad, but Mommy says it isn't because they're makin' me take down my defensive toy wall structures.  She says it's because I say doing so isn't my patoot.

I'm not sure why this strikes her as so funny.  I really don't.  She says I don't know what patoot means.  I say I most certainly do, that patoot means thing I wanna do, or responsibility.  Somewheres in that ballpark.  It's a subtly nuanced word in my vocabulary.  Mommy says patoot is another word for "butt."  I reject this definition.

So there you have it, Friends.  Dismantling my toy wall defensive structures is not my patoot, and also neither is my patoot conforming to the conventional definitions of words I happen to really like the sounds of, but not the conventional meanings thereof.  If that makes any sense. 

Explaining in further detail is also not my patoot.  But you know, I love ya just the same, Big People.  And I'll see ya tomorrow.  That IS my patoot!

Muah!

Brock Lee!

Brock Lee and I have the power of healthy eating on our side!

Hiya, Friends!  Happy Friday to you!

So!  How's it going?  Do you remember my pal Brock Lee, the giant broccoli?  I betchya thought I'd given up on my ol' pal Brock Lee, but I haven't.  In fact, my post the other day about Kiddie Menu Hacks was actually inspired by my pal Brock Lee!

You bet it was!  You see, Brock Lee is something of a Healthy Foods Guru around here.  Brock Lee helps me choose healthier alternatives to traditional toddler fare, and for that I am so grateful!

For instance, whenever I'm tempted by a tower of French fries, Brock Lee points out that a bit of sweet potato mash is really tasty, and much better for me than the fries!  Or if I see something sugary and get to thinkin' that it sounds delicious, Brock Lee presents me with an apple.  I tried caramel with apple slices once, and you know what?  I prefer my apple slices all by themselves!  If I'm lookin' for something crunchy, insteadda lettin' me dive headfirst into a bagga salty pretzels, Brock Lee swoops in and gets me to noshing on little carrots and celery.  How about that?!

Everybody oughtta have a Healthy Foods Guru like Brock Lee!  Healthy foods give ya energy!

Hey.  I know what you're thinking.  You're thinking that your pal Zoe has been drinkin' some kind of crazy Kool-Aid to be talkin' like this, but in reality, I just like healthy foods.  And I'm glad I've gotten to know Brock Lee.  Healthy eatin' is where it's at!

I love ya lots, Big People!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Be the Smile You Wanna See in the World!

This room isn't gonna light itself up!  Better turn on your smile, like me!

Hiya, Big People!  Happy Thursday to you! 

So!  How's it going?

Hey, have ya ever wished that the world was a more smiley, friendly place?  Didja know that it can be, and that you can be part of what makes it smilier and friendlier? 

It's true.  Smiliness, friendliness, and kindness are all highly contagious things.  Maybe not as contagious as anger and fear, but with a little muscle behind 'em, smiliness, friendliness, and kindness can make an even bigger impact than anger and fear.

All it takes to get started is deciding you're gonna make the world smilier, friendlier, and kinder.  Then you start doing just that.  You smile at people you meet.  You say 'Hiya, howdeedo?' or whatever your greeting of choice may be.  Ya talk about neutral topics such as the weather, even though some people say they hate "small talk," but when you don't really know somebody and ya wanna reach out and connect with them as a fellow traveler on this lonely little planet, small talk is all you've got, just starting out.  You can get to the substantive stuff later. 

In the end, everybody just wants to feel like they exist, that other people can see 'em and acknowledge their presence.  I'd dare to bet that even the most curmudgeonly among us just wants to be acknowledged as a fellow human being.

Be kind, Friends.  We're all just travelers, tryin' to find our ways Home!

I love ya lots, Big People, and I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Zoe's Kiddie Menu Hack

My favorite vegetable and fruit are all of 'em!

Well, hiya, Friends!  Happy Wednesday to you!

Hey, if you remember anything about me, back when I was a Tiny Baby, it's that I really looked forward to eatin' off the menu in restaurants, insteadda havin' Similac or little tubs of pureed peaches Mommy brought me from home. 

I always thought there was something so glamorous and delicious about restaurant food, even though I wasn't allowed to have any of my very own for what felt like a LIFETIME.  Friends, I'll tell ya what.  I will never, ever forget the first time I actually go to order something off the menu in a restaurant.  It was Jell-O at the dang ol' Texas Hot in Downtown Wellsville.  It was red Jell-O, with a generous helping of whipped cream on top.  It was the best thing ever!

Once I got past the stage where all's I could do was gum bananas, though, I noticed something disconcerting about a lotta Kid's Menus in restaurants where I go.  A lot of 'em are a choice of Hot Dog, Hamburger (or Cheeseburger), Mac-N-Cheese, Chicken Nuggets (or Chicken Fingers, or Spaghetti.  Sometimes, you can get little steak medallions off a Kid's Menu.  At the Red Lobster, you can get a piece of tilapia fish. In a lotta places, to go with those entree choices, the Kid's Menu offers sides such as French Fries, broccoli, apples-n-grapes, applesauce, or cottage cheese.  Red Robin has an excellent fruit salad.

Thing of it is, I can't help but notice that restaurants are heavy on the breaded chicken foods and mac-n-cheese, and I understand that a lotta Little Kids don't like vegetables, but they love cheese and noodles and breading.  I am not like a lotta Little Kids.  I love fruits and vegetables. 

So here's what I do.  I've gotten so I don't usually bother with the Kiddie Menu, unless I'm at the dang ol' Red Lobster.  There, I get myself a piece of tilapia fish, a little house salad, and orange wedges off the Kiddie Menu.  I hafta ask for the little house salad separate, but it's so worth it.  At other places, I ask for a little house salad (with lotsa grape tomatoes if they don't mind, but if they do mind, that's all right) and a side of whatever their finest Kiddie Menu fruit is, and then I just figure if there's anything intriguing on Mommy or Daddy's plate, I'll just have a coupla bites of that.  Restaurants always bring a lot more food out to people than they really ought to be eatin', anyways. 

This is a win-win, you know, because I get to try foods that aren't chicken nuggets and mac-n-cheese, Mommy doesn't hafta feel like a loser for asking for a to-go box and then forgetting it, because I usually eat enough off her plate to render the to-go box useless.  And I get to have vegetables. 

I know there's other Little Kids like me out there, Friends, and I just want 'em to know that it's okay to be underwhelmed by the Kid's Menu choices.  It's okay to ask for your own thing.  Nobody ever gave a Little Kid a dirty look for askin' for more fruits and vegetables!

Come to think of it, I don't think anybody would throw shade at a Big Person for doing the same, either!

I love ya lots, Friends!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

The Show Where Nobody Wore Pants!

I am Zoe-RA! And I'm bringin' Bodysuits-n-BabyLegs back!

Hiya, Friends! Happy Tuesday to you!

Well, ya know, I love vintage television, and one of my recent finds is an animated television show for kids called She-Ra, and by extension, He-Man.  They're pretty much the same show, in that He-Man's always coming over to his sister She-Ra's planet, and they play the same musics on both shows.

The thing that was really striking for me, when I first watched She-Ra and He-Man, is that nobody wears pants!  I mean, Adora, who turns in to She-Ra, wanders around in a bodysuit like I usedta wear.  She's actually one superhero that's more covered up after she makes her transformation!

That's just remarkable!  Mommy told me that once I wasn't a toddler anymore, I'd hafta wear something besides a bodysuit and Babylegs legwarmers when I was out-n-about, but here's this whole entire television show built around a girl who looks like a Barbie doll, who goes around in her everyday life in a bodysuit and boots that look like BabyLegs, and no pants.  Not even a mini-skirt.  Just shows what Mommy doesn't know! 

This tears it, Friends!  You can bet that now that I have this knowledge, I am gonna start re-introducing the Bodysuit-n-BabyLegs look for my goin' out-n-about fashion looks.  If people give me and Mommy any side-eye, I'll say I'm Zoe-Ra, Master of the Universe!

How about that?!

Hey, Friends, I have some bodysuits to dig out from storage, and some pants to hide in storage.  I'll be seein' ya tomorrow!  By the honor of Grayskull, I am Zoe-Ra!