Math Is My Patoot!

I thought math was hard, but turns out, it's natural as BREATHING!

Hiya, Big People!  Happy Thursday to you!

Well, ya know, a few months back, I got a cookin' app, where I'm supposed to take customers' orders and then cook their foods, slicing, weighing, and measurin' the ingredients.  At first, I thought the thing was too hard, so I wouldn't play it, but I picked it up the other day again and realized it's a whole lotta fun!

I really like weighin' and measurin' out the ingredients, you know.  A lotta times, in this app, each piece of ingredient equals one ounce, and it tells ya how many ounces ya need for a particular recipe.  Then ya count out the pieces and put 'em on the scale, and if ya counted right, you'll have the number of ounces the recipe requires! 

Once ya have the ingredients all weighed and measured and picked out, ya assemble the dish you're makin' and ya cook it.  There's a little thermometer on the side, and the Giver of Directions tells ya at which temperature to flip the food, at which temperature to press down on the food, and at which temperature to turn off the stove and take the food off the heat.  I can figure out what numbers look like by how they sound, so this is pretty easy for me. 

Friends, as it turns out, when I play this app, I'm doing MATH, and I LIKE it!  I thought math was hard, but it really isn't! It's as natural as breathin'!

Friends, this is so true you could take it right the heck to the bank: Math is my patoot!  How about that?!

Hey.  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

The Zerp Goes On

This Zerp thing is gettin' old, and we're only on Day Two.

Hiya, Big People Friends!

Well, I knew this was gonna happen.  My folks called me 'Zerp' the other night, and it made me mad.  That only mad it more humorous for them to continue calling me that name.  So I decided to try to embrace Zerp, you know.  Big People tell Little Kids all the time not to let it show when things bother them, so the person doin' the botherin' will just go away, since they aren't gettin' a rise outta ya.

Well, my folks musta hacked that conventional wisdom, or else it's about as true as when they tell ya not to play in the fire, or you'll wet the bed, because I told 'em I LIKE bein' called Zerp, so much so that I'm gonna contact the authorities and have my name legally chanced to Zerp, and you know what they said to that?

They didn't stop callin' me Zerp, if that's what you think happened.  In fact, they only stepped on the Zerp gas.  Zerp this, Zerp that.

And honestly, Big People, I'm all Zerped out.  If I never hear the word 'Zerp' applied to me again, it will be too soon.

If ya see me out-n-about, Friends, if you are really my friend, please don't call me "Zerp."

That is all.

Zerp!

I am NOT! Zerp!

Friends!  It's Tuesday!  And am I ever steamed!

I'll tell ya why. 

Ya see, for some unknown reason, my parents have started calling me 'Zerp.'  It started at the suppertable, which is clearly not "school time," so I got a little perturbed at Mommy for tryin' to teach me how to spell my last name by makin' me tell her which letters make which sounds.  I don't think the French would ever pair phonics with turkey, after all.  So I decided to sabotage the operation.  I just kept throwing out random letters, thinking my folks would get the hint.  Do you know what they did instead?

They said all the things I was spelling spelled out "Zerp." No matter the random letter combination I slapped 'em with, they said it spelled "Zerp."  And it's stuck. Because they say I shouldn'ta been tryin' to sabotage my own suppertable learnin'!

I'll tell ya what, Friends, it steams me to all getout.  I am not Zerp!  I'm Zoe!  But now my whole family in my house is callin' me Zerp! 

This is pretty much worse than when Rozzie told me my middle name is "WithLizardBreath."

They haven't beaten me on this, Friends.  I'm gonna be mad about bein' called Zerp, but then I'm gonna embrace it.  I'm gonna embrace the stuffin' right outta 'Zerp!'

Smiling Makes Me Cooler!

I don't always smile, but when I do, smiling makes me cooler!

Well, hiya, Big People!  Happy Monday to you!

You know, I'm a Little Kid with lotsa big emotions.  I get all of 'em, too.  I mean, I can get mad with the best of 'em.  I cry.  I get frusterated and mad and sad and I cry. 

Okay, fine.  I'm four.  I get frusterated and mad and sad and cry a LOT, over a lotta stuff you Big People would say is trivial, but I'll tell ya the heck what, Big People, it all MATTERS!  It matters BIG!

What was I talking about?

Oh, yeah.  Smiling!

Anyways, I don't always smile, but when I do, smiling makes me cooler!  You bet it does!

Smiling makes you cooler, too, Big People!  So smile a lot today and be cool on this Monday!  I love ya lots!  See ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Well, How 'Bout This Weather?!

It's a marshmella world out there, Friends!

Hiya, Friends!  Happy Sunday to you!

Hey.  I wanted to talk to you about the weird turn of the weather we experienced this weekend.  I went to bed on Friday, and it was Springtime, woke up on Saturday, and it was Winter!

I'll tell ya what.  It sure did cause a kerfuffle at Donut Dude's!  We've been elbow-deep in our Springtime Promotion with our donuts and beverages, and all the snow just threw everybody for a loop!  Thing of it is, the donut-makers hafta get to makin' the donuts EARLY in the morning, which is to say, practically in the middle of the dang ol' night, so it isn't like they can just switch from Spring to Winter with a snap of their fingers!

Except they kinda did, Friends.  Boyo boy, our donut-makers sure think quickly on their feet!  When they found out that it snowed, they took all the pretty pastel donuts and cookies for our bake shoppes and sprinkled sprinkly sugar over all the flower-shaped decorations in the icings.  And when ya order one of our springtime hot or cold beverages and order a squirta whip for up on top, they sprinkle the whip with sprinkly sugar, too!

Not only is it festive and appropriate for the weather at hand, but it's practical, too.  All that extra sugar helps ya stay warm!  Hahahahahaha!

Friends, I love ya lots!  Don't worry about the arrival of this wintry weather.  As they say, it'll never last.  It'll be back to springtime before we even know it, and the air will be filled with the smell of fresh-cut grass. 

I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

The Week Went Too Fast

I just want my Daddy home with me, all the time!

Hiya, Big People! 

Well, darned if it isn't Saturday all over again.  Usually I'm really excited about Saturdays, and I'm not mad.  Don't get me wrong.  I love Saturdays.  But it just so happens that Daddy was on vacation all week this week, and now that it's Saturday, that means I just have today and tomorrow with Daddy, and then he goes back to work.

What I really liked about havin' Daddy home all week with me is that Daddy was home all week with me.  We went on a surprise adventure to Lowe's, and I got to eat at Red Robin when it was past my bedtime, and I got stickers on my cast. 

Things like that just don't happen when Daddy's at work.  When Daddy's at work, he's already left in the morning before I wake up, and then when he gets home at night, we eat supper, watch a short show together or something, and then I hafta go to bed.  When Daddy's home, life is just a big adventure.

So that's why I'm a little bummed that it's Saturday.  I'll find a way to be happy.  But right now, I'm just a little sad. 

Hey.  I love ya lots.  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

It's a Math Day!

I'm declarin' today a Math Day!

Why, hello, Friends!  Happy Friday to you! 

Did you notice that today is Four-Eight-Two Thousand Sixteen?  Even shortened down to Four-Eight-Sixteen, today's pretty much a Math Day. 

You see, Four, Eight, and Sixteen are all doubles of each other.  That fascinates me.  The way I think about it is if I had four brownies, and I cut each one in half.  All of a sudden, I now have EIGHT brownies!  But wait!  There's more!  If I just were to cut each of those eight brownies in half, I'd have SIXTEEN bite-size brownies! 

Yum!

If ya spell out 2016, you can divide it by 4, by 8, and even by sixteen. 

I love days like this, Friends!  When the date can fold all in on itself in mathematical equations, it makes me feel like the Universe is an orderly place, even though to us, it just seems like it's all chaos.  I think it's chaotic to us, on accounta we're all pretty small, compared to the Universe, and we're all up in our own stuff, so we can't see the whole thing.  I think if we could see the whole, entire Universe, we'd see that everything makes sense.  Math Days such as today give us a glimpse that it does.  At least I think so. 

At the very least, it gets me to thinkin' about numbers and brownies.  Math is tasty, so I'm gonna go bake myself up a batch of math.  I love ya lots, Friends!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!