Zerp!

I am NOT! Zerp!

Friends!  It's Tuesday!  And am I ever steamed!

I'll tell ya why. 

Ya see, for some unknown reason, my parents have started calling me 'Zerp.'  It started at the suppertable, which is clearly not "school time," so I got a little perturbed at Mommy for tryin' to teach me how to spell my last name by makin' me tell her which letters make which sounds.  I don't think the French would ever pair phonics with turkey, after all.  So I decided to sabotage the operation.  I just kept throwing out random letters, thinking my folks would get the hint.  Do you know what they did instead?

They said all the things I was spelling spelled out "Zerp." No matter the random letter combination I slapped 'em with, they said it spelled "Zerp."  And it's stuck. Because they say I shouldn'ta been tryin' to sabotage my own suppertable learnin'!

I'll tell ya what, Friends, it steams me to all getout.  I am not Zerp!  I'm Zoe!  But now my whole family in my house is callin' me Zerp! 

This is pretty much worse than when Rozzie told me my middle name is "WithLizardBreath."

They haven't beaten me on this, Friends.  I'm gonna be mad about bein' called Zerp, but then I'm gonna embrace it.  I'm gonna embrace the stuffin' right outta 'Zerp!'