Today Is A Present!

Hey, Friends!  When's the last time you counted your blessings?

Hiya, Friends!  Guess what!  It's Thursday!  Thursdays are as good a day as any to celebrate just bein' alive, don'tchya think?  I sure think so! 

I think it's important to take time to just be happy to be alive, every so often, because it's so easy to get all wrapped up in the fog of everyday takin' care of business and forget to be happy to have breath in your lungs.  It's easy to forget how lucky we are.

It's a really good week for me to stop and reflect on how lucky I am, because on Monday, I turned Two Years Old.  That was something.  Then on Tuesday, I visited my doctor.  I'm doin' GREAT, by the way, but it really hit home with me, because up 'til now, I've been used to going to the doctor every coupla months.  I thought this last six-month stretch was a long one, but I don't go back for another whole year!  I'm happy to be healthy, but I'm sad I don't get to see my doctor for a whole year!  But I'm really happy to be healthy.

I don't have a sunburn! That's something to smile about!

Sometimes, I get to thinking about other little kids I hear about who hafta go to the doctor a lot, or who hafta stay in hospitals for a long time, and it makes me feel sad.  It makes me wish I could hug 'em and make it all better. 

I had to have my finger poked the other day, to check whether I'm leaded or unleaded (turns out I'm unleaded, but high-octane!  Hahahahahaha!), and it wasn't the most fun thing I've gotten to do, but then I remembered there's little kids and Big People who hafta poke their fingers every day, if not lotsa times a day.

I'm not bragging, Friends.  I'm just counting my blessings.  I saw a meme the other day that said "Be grateful for what you have, because what you take for granted, someone else longs for."  I've been thinking about that a lot.  Instead of thinking about what I don't have, I'm going to focus on all the positives I DO have.

Will ya bear with me?  I sure hope so!

If ya love icy peem, say 'Thank You Kindly!' to a farmer!

Today, I'm glad I got to wake up in the morning!  That sure was something!  I'm also grateful for my family, and for my dog Rozzie.  I feel lucky that I never hafta worry about there being enough food in the house for us.  I'm sure as heck glad that there's electricity and people who can fix it if it goes off!

I'm glad I get to live in a nice house that's warm in the winter and that keeps me from getting all sunburnt and crispy in the summer!  It's right next to a field where the farmers empty their farm pit, and sometimes it gets stinky here, but you know what?  I'm glad that farmer's there, because they grow food and they have cows that they milk, and you can't have icy peem without milk!  I guess you could have Tofutti without milk.  But I like icy peem!

I'm glad I get to check in every day with you, Friends!  It's good to know I'm not the only one riding this blue marble around the fireball in the middle of our solar system.  That'd be LONELY!

Friends, if you haven't taken the time to do it lately, maybe pause a little bit today and count your blessings.  Write it down if you need to.  List the reasons why you're lucky, then look over your list and believe it.  I'm not trying to be preachy, but I'm trying to help you feel like you have a smile in your heart.  It feels really good! 

All right, Friends!  I'm gonna letchya go.  Today's a present, and it's THE present!  That's a big deal!  I love ya!  And I'll see ya tomorrow, which I'm grateful for, and tomorrow's Friday, which is its own reason to jump up and say "WAHOO!"  I could go on and on with feeling gratitude, Friends! ...

September Eleventh

Remember the past, but focus on a better future.

Hiya, Friends!  I know this is a solemn day.  I know that way before I was born, something very bad happened on this day.  I know that to most of you, Big People, it seems like an awful yesterday, and I can't imagine what kinds of things you thought and felt or even saw and heard on September Eleventh.  I can't even go there, because it's too scary.

When I talk to a lot of you, I hear that the world is a very different place than it was Before September Eleventh, but it really isn't all that different, either.  Seems crazy when I say it like that, but I betchya if ya think about it, you'll understand exactly what I'm talking about.

Friends, I hope my people never hafta see another day like September Eleventh.  No offense, but I hope we learned from your mistakes.  See, saying that "the world is a very different place Since" can be a sad thing, because if you were around on September Eleventh, 2001, no matter how old you were when it happened, you lost a little bit of your innocence.  The world lost some of its innocence.  But Friends, it doesn't have to be all sad.  We can all be wiser than we were Before.  I wasn't here yet, so I don't know what you Big People were up to, but maybe we can all learn to Count to Ten, maybe learn to talk TO people from different places, instead of AT them.  That goes for EVERYBODY on all the different sides.  We all should talk together more, and find out just how much we really have in common, even if we all speak differently or dress differently, or eat different food.

That's why it's with a little trepidation that from my study of the world After, I also see it isn't that much different.  We still squabble over stuff.  Our leaders still can't find a way to get along.  Sometimes, it feels like people who are "leaders" are more interested in having power than they are in leading.  I hope that when it's my people's turn, that we've got leaders who want to lead, rather than who just want to be powerful.  Power for the right reasons is what I'm getting at, Friends.

Thing is, I think it wouldn't hafta take us all that long to make the world Very Different In A Good Way from the Way It Was Before, if we could all just drop our pretense and stop our collective chest-beating, and TALK.  I've met people from a lot of different places around the world, some of them from places where if we pull back and look on a map at where those people come from, we say 'Ooooooooh.'  But the people themselves are really nice!

I think what I'm saying is I wish we could all stop being afraid of our differences, Friends, because once we did that, there'd be one less reason for a global Dislike Button.  Different doesn't hafta be better or worse.  It's just different!  I love Different!

That's my thoughts on the Big September Eleventh.  But September Eleventh was also a big day in my own history, Friends.  I'm talking about September Eleventh, 2011.  Ten years after the day.  Up until then, the only places I'd seen were the inside of Mommy's hospital room, the hallway down to the nursery, and the actual nursery.  I couldn't imagine that there was any more to the world than that.

And then, on September Eleventh, I woke up, just like I had for the last two days.  I got my bath.  I put on some clothes and my hat.  But Mommy was wearing different clothes from what she'd been wearing, and I couldn't help but notice a bright red chair-looking thing in my hospital room.  Before I knew it, I was sitting all buckled in to that bright red chair-looking thing.  I rode in an elevator, and felt my first outside breeze!  It was kind of a cloudy day, I remember.  Cool, and wanting to rain.  I was used to my warm hospital room, but I liked the new air!

My bright red chair-looking thing got snapped into its place in a silver Jeep, and next thing I knew, I was driving through Wellsville.  Mommy wanted to see where my doctor's office was, because I'd be going to visit him soon.  So we drove down Main Street, then onto the 4-lane, and all the way to my house in the middle of the Bing.  I thought that was plenty big of an adventure for such a little me, but there was MORE headed my way!  We pulled up to a big yellow house, and I could hear a dog barking.  I'd heard that dog a lot before, but it sounded different this day.  When I got inside the house, and all unwrapped from my bright red chair looking thing, I saw the friendliest, furriest face I'd ever seen in my life.  Such big teeth!

That was the first time I really met my best friend Rozzie.  The first day I came Home.  It's funny to think about now, how new everything and everybody was.  So while part of me is sad for what happened on the big September the Eleventh, my first September Eleventh was a Very Good Day!

This is what I think I'm going to do, Friends, and I hope you'll join me.  I'm going to remember the past, but I'm going to focus on a better future.  "Be the change you wanna see in the world" isn't just something people wear on badges and patches and ride around on bumper stickers, Friends.  It's a real thing.

So on this September Eleventh and Always, I. Love. All. Of. You.  Always, Friends!

Muah!

Summer Flashback

Look at me, speaking to you from the Summer!

Hiya, Friends!  I was just going through the archive, and I noticed these pictures hadn't been put with a post.  They made me think of Summertime, mainly because in the pictures, it's Summertime, and I'm in my goggles and bathing suit, hanging out in my Mushroom Pool. 

It got me thinking that now that we're in the -Brrrrrrrrrr months, we could use a little flashback to Summer, either for nostalgia's sake or maybe to remind us of how hot it got there for a few weeks, so we can be extra-thankful for the cooler weather we have now.

I've said it before, Friends, and I'll say it again.  I love all the seasons.  Here at my house, we get four, I think.  Four main ones: Winter, Spring, Summer, and Fall.  Not Fall like "Daddy fall in the lake," but Fall like the leaves are going to be changing colors soon, by a scientific process called Magic. 

Soon, I'll be trading my teapot for a mug of cocoa!

This is meteorologically speaking, of course.  There are other ways to divvy up a year.  At my house, it's either Hockey Season or Not Hockey Season.  I love Hockey Season!  It's been said that in the state where I live, the year's divided up into Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter, and Road Construction, and I think there's something to that.  I really think there's something to that saying, even though it's meant to be sort of a joke.  Then there's the School Year and Summer Vacation.

It's really how ever you wanna divvy up a year, Friends.  How ever your interests fall.

What I think is that now that I'm Two, I'm gonna ask Mommy to make me some hot cocoa when it gets really cold.  It can take its time getting really cold.  I'm just saying I have a plan for the colder weather.  And that plan includes sweet, sweet, delicious hot cocoa.

Plans are always more fun when they include something sweet, Friends.  Write that down!

I love ya!  Muah!

I'm TWO!

This is me on the very day I was born!

Hiya, Big People!  Today's a Big Day for me!  Today's the day I turn Two Years Old!  By the time you read this, I will already have turned Two.  Back when I was a pre-baby, I knew I wanted to arrive as early in the day on my birthday as possible, so I could have as close to twenty-four hours of birthday as I could have.

I did all right on that!  All's I lack is a half an hour and a little change, but I figure I'm sleeping during that part of the day, anyway, so well done, Me!

If you were to ask me how my first two years have gone, I'd hafta say pretty great.  I love being here.  I love my family.  I love my Big White Dog.  I love my house.  I love going places and seeing new things.  I have a really great life.  I really mean that!

When I think back to my very first birthday, it amazes me to think of how very little I could do for myself.  I couldn't talk.  I pretty much just slept and ate.  Mostly slept.  I remember sleeping in a plastic box in the hospital room, and people kept picking me up and hugging me.

I liked being hugged a lot!  I still do, when I'm not on the move, and moving wasn't something I was awfully good at on my very first birthday, either, when you get right down to it.  Couldn't even roll over on my own.  Isn't that crazy to think about?  Plus, I had to ride around in the car, facing the back.

This is me when I turned One!

Now, last year, when I turned One Year Old, that was a different story from my Very First Birthday.  For starters, I wasn't in the hospital.  I was at my very own house, in my very own room when I turned One.  I could stand right the heck up in my crib, even though I wasn't walking around yet.  But standing up is a big improvement from having to lie there in a plastic box and wait for somebody to pick you up!  And I got to eat CAKE when I turned One!  Cupcakes, to be exact!  Oh my goodness.  The first time I bit into that chocolatey cakey goodness, topped off with sweet, sweet icing, I knew my life was never going to be the same!

Last year, when I turned One, I crawled around lots.  I still fell for that wall Mommy put up around my office.  In fact, I didn't mind it much.  Having my play area enclosed made me feel safe. 

You know what finally annoyed me to all get-out, though, Friends?  Riding, facing where I'd already been instead of where I was going.  So it was a Big Deal when I finally got to turn around in the car and see where I was going!  I've gone on some great trips, and I've gotten to see almost every single mile of 'em!

Now I'm two!

But now I'm Two.  I think Two's gonna be pretty great.  I can already do things I wasn't able to do last year at this time.  I'm playing with Play Doh (and I know not to eat it!), I'm stringing beads onto a pipe cleaner, I'm drawing on white boards.  I fingerpaint.  I couldn't do all those things, this time last year.  Heckle and Jeckle, Friends, I couldn't even walk, for Pete's Aches!  That didn't happen until the middle of October for me.  So I'm pretty sure this year in October, I've gotta do something Big.  It's pretty hard to top walking for the first time, but I'm going to find something to top it. 

Today, though, I'm gonna just enjoy being Two.  This is going to be a big year for me, I just know it.  I'm going to get to try all kinds of new foods.  I'm especially looking forward to eating peanut butter!  I've heard so much about it, but I had to wait until now.  I think I might get a peanut butter sandwich in the cafeteria today, Friends.  I think I just might!

Have a great day today, Friends.  I know I will!  Muah!

A Guide to Zolish: A Language All My Own!

Be in the nose and read my Guide to Zolish!

Hiya, Friends!  You know what?  I usedta speak Babese, but now the older I get, and the more I learn, the more I find myself picking up on The Language of the Big People.

I hafta admit, I liked speaking Babese much better, and the transition to the Language of the Big People hasn't been easy.  I trip up.  I fall back on my months and months of speaking Babese.  I make up my own words. 

Didja catch that, Friends?  I make up my own words, and that's what I wanna talk about today.  The words I make up, all on my own, in my struggle to become a speaker of the Language of the Big People, so sit back, relax, maybe grab yourself a big icy-peem or some CAH-ffey, and enjoy a guide to Zolish: the language I call my very own: 

Beep-Beep:  A Beep-Beep is any late-model or otherwise ordinary car on the road.  Beep-Beeps range from coupes to sedans to mini-vans or some SUVs.

JEEEEEEEEP:  The JEEEEEEEEP is a red four-wheel drive vehicle I ride around in most of the time.  I have the middle seat all to myself and my carseat usually, and Rozzie rides in the back in the cargo area.

Vroom-Vroom: A Vroom-Vroom is a sports car like the Sassy Red Car I like to ride in, but it can also be the Cars from the 1970s Daddy has.  You know you're dealing with a Vroom-Vroom and not a Beep-Beep when you start one up.  A Vroom-Vroom will say its name: "Vrooooooooom!" and will also produce an exhausty smell if it's a vintage car.  The Sassy Red Car doesn't say VROOOOOOOM or smell exhausty, but it gets to be a Vroom-Vroom because of its Hemi and the RT stripes, and it just looks so cool!

Icy Peem:  Icy Peem comes in all kinds of flavors.  My favorites are vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry.  You can make milk shakes with icy peem, in which case, you're eating icy peem with a straw.  At first, the coldness of icy peem took me aback, but I've come to love icy peem almost as much as Aunt Colleen does!

Wah-gur: If I don't have milk in my sippy cup, I'm drinking wah-gur.  Plain and simple.  No Mountain Dew.  No juice.  Milk or Wah-gur.  It just makes me feel good and keeps me all hydrated on a cellular level.  Wah-gur, Friends!

CAH-fee: A magical potion that comes from a black machine in our kitchen.  It smells wonderful, but Mommy won't let me drink any, because she says it'll stunt my growth. 

Olmo: The red guy on Sesame Street.  I'm not a regular viewer of the 'Street, but I do love Olmo!

Rahnoo-Rahnoo: A fan, my disco ball, or anything else that goes 'round and 'round.  Rahnoo-Rahnoo, get it?

Monkey Cheese!: Monkey Cheese! was the result of a misunderstanding between Mommy and myself.  I asked for "mahnk a cheese," she thought I was saying "monkey cheese," and gave me that look that said she had no idea what I was talking about, and then I went to the shelf and got a blue and yellow box and shook it at her.  Monkey Cheese, Mac'n'Cheese, same thing: a delicious meal for me!

I'm your most authoritative source for all things Zolish!

Halloooooo!: This is my greeting.

Hi-YA!: This is another way I greet people.

Bamma: My Gramma.

PaPa!: My Grampa.

Aunt kHolleen!: My Aunt Colleen.

Umnl Lim-nintz: My Uncle Lorentz.

RAH!-Zeeee!: My best friend Rozzie, the white dog that lives at my house.

Lemonlemon Peel: Supposedly this is L M N O P, but I still think it's Lemonlemon Peel, which brightens up the middle of the Alphabet Song with a nice little citrusy note!

No! No WAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!:  The most appropriate response to every question, except "Do you want more cash?"  Take it from your pal Zoe, Friends, if anybody asks you if you want more cash, you say YES!  Everything else: No! No WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!! is your go-to response.  Got it?

Honey-Yapple: My favorite shampoo.

Toasty Honey: What I like to eat for breakfast.  It's made with bread, put in a fancy silver box until it comes out all golden brown and crispy, and then one side is coated in honey.  Toasty Honey.  It's delicious!

HAH!-key: HAH!-key was my very first word, and it's a wonderful sport where two teams of five skaters and a goalie engage in epic battle over a little rubber puck and a great big shiny cup named Lord Stanley.  On a side note, HAH-key also refers to Buffalo Sabres play-by-play man Rick Jeanneret, because to me, RJ IS the voice of my favorite sport!

Up-Up-Up!: This is a book and song I like to have playing when I go for my nap.

Pee-no!:  A big wooden box under the stairs that has lotsa black and white teeth, and if ya push on the teeth, the Pee-no! plays music!

Baff:  I take a baff every morning whether I need one or not.  But just between you and me, Friends, I usually need one!

Opeen!:  When something's Opeen! it's uncovered.  For instance, "Belly Opeen!" means that my shirt's come up and my belly's showing.  "Knees Opeen!" means my BabyLegs have ridden down and now I can see my knees when I couldn't see 'em before, because I'd previously been wearing the BabyLegs.  Knees Opeen! isn't nearly as disturbing for me as Belly Opeen! is.  My knees are Opeen! a lot, but my belly isn't usedta havin' a breeze on it very often!

Close It!:  See the definition above for Opeen! When I say Close It! I mean for someone to pull my shirt down for me to close my belly.  Cover me up!  Close It!

See, Big People?  Speakin' Zolish is EASY, once ya know how!

Motorcycle: The wooden bike I got for my birthday.  So what if it has no motor in it?  It's my two-wheeler, and I think it's cool, so it's gonna be my motorcycle!

Well, there it is, Friends!  That's the words I can think of, off the toppa my head right now, to tell you.  The trick to Zolish is that you slip in my words when you're talking along in Big People.  So maybe Zolish isn't so much a language as it is a pidgin.  But that's a topic of inquiry for a whole other day, Friends, and I have me some monkey cheese that's gettin' cold, so I'm gonna go letchya study for a little bit, mmmmkay?

I love ya, and that's something you can understand whether you're speakin' Zolish or Standard Big People!  Muah!

Realigning My Chakras

Sometimes, I feel outta whack!

You know something, Friends?  The closer I get to Age Two, and I'll tell ya what, I'm REALLY close today, the more I feel like I'm all outta kilter.  I feel like my up is down, my down is up, there's all kinds of feelings I don't have words for yet, let alone the know-how to process 'em, and sometimes, I just wind up spooling up into this thing that feels like a twisty cloud of angriness or something.

I say 'or something,' because it isn't quite anger, but I'm sure mad about feeling the way I feel.  And when Mommy asks me what's the matter, all's I can say is "I don't know! But it's something!" 

Or, that's what I WOULD say if I weren't so busy wailing and flailing.

I don't know what's wrong with me, Friends, but I don't like it. 

I don't know why it happens, I really don't!

Sometimes, I know why I flip out. It's because I'm overtired and hungry, and I get to a point where I know there's no making me happy.  It never happens here at home, because at home, I have sort of a routine.  I like routines.  But when we're Out'n'About, I don't wanna sleep and miss out on anything.  Sometimes, I hafta wait a little too long before I get to eat anything.  I'm sure you remember me telling about the day up at Bully Hill when I flipped the heck out.  I was overtired and hungry.  I don't like to flip out like that, but at least I knew why it was happening, and more importantly, Mommy and Daddy knew why it was happening, and they hurried around so I could get back to the car and they could get me on my way, where I did eventually fall asleep and woke up feeling much better.

It's so disturbing to me, though, when the Snarlies hit me at home, for no apparent reason.  And I look at Mommy like she has an answer for me, and she's looking back at me as puzzled as I feel like I look, and then I know I'm just Uppa Creek.

I'm just sittin' here, realigning my chakras!

Mommy tells me not to worry or overreact to feeling all flippy, because it's just a Two thing, and it'll pass.  I appreciate that, that she doesn't treat me like some psychopath kid, yelling back at me or punishing me for something I can't really help.  When we're at home, and the Snarlies strike for no apparent reason, she lets my storm run its course.  "Toddler Tornado" she calls it.  Eventually, it just spins out.

Something I've realized helps me some, when I'm here at home, is taking myself to a quiet place and sitting down.  I can feel myself realign.  A few minutes in a quiet place, a few deep breaths, telling myself 'It's okay, Zozie!' and everything is right as rain again for me.

I think you Big People call this "Time Out."  That's fine.  The point I'm making here is that I go to Time Out on my own, not because my Big People tell me to.  I get out of sorts.  I put myself back in-sorts.  In this sense, Time Out isn't a punishment for me.  It's where I go to quiet the storm.  It makes me feel empowered, Friends.  It makes me feel like I'm closer to being One Of You.

Why It's Funny

I love a good joke that makes me laugh!

Hey-ya, Friends!  If you know me, you know I love a good joke.  My favorite is the one about why Six was afraid of Seven. ... Do you know? ... Because Seven eight Nine! That one cracks me up every single time I hear or tell it, Friends.  It's comedic gold!

But sometimes, I hear a joke, and even though I laugh when I'm in the moment, because everybody around me is laughing, I wonder why in the world it's funny.

One such joke goes like this: "When is a door not a door?" and the answer is "When it's a jar."

Sometimes, jokes aren't funny.

That one was a head scratcher for me, Friends.  Why would people laugh at that?  Doors can't be jars!  Jars don't have doors!  I suppose you could make a door from a jar, but you'd hafta melt down the glass and put it in a door-mold, and then the jar wouldn't be a jar anymore.  It would just be a glass jar.

So this joke about doors not being doors because they're jars really had me confounded, and to tell you the truth, I didn't like it at all.  I thought it was a stupid joke, and it isn't often that I use the word "stupid."  No, really!

When is a jar not a jar? When it's a drinking glass!

Thing of it is, I didn't want to be that kid that just says "That's a stupid joke!" and walks away without really trying to understand it, so I finally got on the Internet, which knows everything as you know, and did some research into this joke.  ... Hey, it might be a little nerdy, but I'll tell ya what: Knowledge is power, People.  Knowledge is power!

Anyway, as it turns out, the joke is funny (I guess), because there's an actual word 'ajar,' and it means that something's sorta open, not closed all the way.  Doors CAN be ajar, so I suppose the joke is funny because it's a play on words.

I'm still not impressed. But you know what impresses me to all get-out?  When people use jars as drinking glasses.  That is some quality up-cycling there, Friends!