Julius and the Wild West Bananza!

I wouldn't fit in, in Plainsville!

Hiya, Friends!  I've been readin' a book called Julius and the Wild West Bananza.  I love Julius books.  Julius really inspires me.  I might have mentioned Julius to you before, I might not have.  I can't remember.  The important thing is that Julius is some good readin'. 

So anyway, in Julius and the Wild West Bananza, Julius is sheriff in Plainsville, a town where everybody dresses just like him.  They eat what he eats.  They wear the brims on their hats the same way Julius does.  Everybody does everything the way Sheriff Julius does, and that's that, until one day, a train full of bananas wrecks, and instead of the spaghetti Sheriff Julius usually orders, he decides to get BANANA PANCAKES! instead!  Just for a change!

Well, if that action doesn't just send Plainsville slip-sliding into chaos!  Somebody decides to untuck his pant legs from the tops of his boots.  Just to be different.  People don't like it. 

And then, somebody else decides to flip their hat-brim UP instead of down, which was the way Julius and everybody else in town had worn their brims.  This leads to even MORE chaos!  Folks start wearing completely different kinds of hats!  They put on shoes that aren't cowboy boots!

Hey, look!  They're bein' DIFFERENT!

They get worried that Julius is gonna get mad because everybody's doing stuff different from the way he does it.  But guess what! 

Guess!

Oh, Friends, is this ever a kicker right here!  Is this ever a kicker!

Sheriff Julius LOVES it that people are doing their own thing, ordering what they wanna eat, wearing the clothes they wanna wear!  He thinks it's GREAT!

As it turns out, he never wanted the whole town to do everything he did, the way he did it. He never expected that at all!  They all just copied him because he was the Sheriff and they wanted him to like them!

I think I could really like a place like Bananza!

So after everybody in Plainsville started doing their own thing, dressing their own ways, eating the foods they wanted to eat, they decided to change the name of the town to Bananza, where they keep it real underneath the peel!  I love that!  Keepin' it real underneath the peel!

Bananza is a lot more interesting than Plainsville was.  

I just love the message of that book, Friends!  I just love how it says to be yourself, because variety is the spice of life.  That's how I like to roll, too.  I like to do my own thing.  I don't want my friends to do my thing.  I want 'em to do their own thing, and we can still be friends, even if we don't dress alike or like the same foods! 

Why, being different from each other is what gives us something to talk about!  That's how I see things, anyway!

I might not be from Bananza, but here's to keepin' it real underneath the peel, Friends!  I love ya!  Be yourselves!  Muah!

Jammin' Pickles!

I wonder if there's sucha thing as pickle jam?

Hiya, Friends!  Well, I've been doing a lot of thinking lately.  Not about anything in particular, particularly, but just random stuff. 

For instance, I got to thinking about would I rather be in a jelly of a jam or in a dilly of a pickle?  That's a tough question to answer, I think.  I mean, whether you're in a jelly of a jam or a dilly of a pickle, it means things aren't going so hot for you.  It means you've gotta tell Houston you've got a problem.

At first, I thought I'd just choose which I'd rather find myself in by seeing which had more degrees of severity.  But the more I looked into it, the more I found out that the two are really equal, even though one is usually sweet and spreadable, and the other one us usually crunchy and at least a little bit puckery.  After all, both jam and pickles are canned goods.  One has a lotta sugar, the other has a lotta salt, but they're pretty equal.

So I guess it all comes down to personal preference, which you'd rather find yourself in when the going gets tough.  The day I dropped my crayon and it rolled under the couch, I figured I was in a jelly of a jam.  The next day, I couldn't find my other pink cowboy boot, and I really wanted to wear it, since I styled myself around my pink cowboy boots that day.  I considered myself in a dilly of a pickle that day. (Psst- I found my boot in the leg of my giraffe costume!  How about that?!)

Problems.  We can't avoid 'em completely, Friends.  I'm just glad I'm not finding myself between a rock and a hard place right now!  That wouldn't be comfortable at all!

Makin' My Mark on the World!

Hello, Pen! Zozie here!

Hiya, Friends!  I've decided what I wanna do.  I wanna make a mark on the world, and the other day, I found me a pen to do just that!  It's a pretty great pen.  Medium-point, black ink, Bic brand.

We're gonna make a big mark together!

I like this pen a lot.  What I really like about it is that it makes really good scribbles and lines on paper.  I can also write on my skin with it, but Mommy says not to do that. 

I'm allowed to write on paper and cardboard with my neat pen.  And that's what I'll do for right now.  I think all great innovators and Mark Makers started out, following the rules that were set out for them.  You gotta learn to work within a system before you go starting new things and writing on other surfaces.

It's good to have a plan, Friends!

But one of these days, watch out, World!  I'll keep on writing on paper and cardboard, until *boom!* I'll really start making my mark!  And you just don't know what that mark will be.  I don't even know what that mark will be.  It'll be HUGE, though, Friends!

I love having a plan, Friends!  I just love it!  And now, I have a pen and some big ideas!  This is gonna be great!

Makin' my mark on the world!  Go me!

I love ya, Friends!  Muah!

Punkin' 'n' the Rock!

I got a pumpkin at Wegmans!

Hiya, Friends!  I can't help but notice that this time of year, pumpkin shows up in everything.  There's pumpkin spice, pumpkin ice cream, pumpkin spice lattes ... Um, are pumpkin and pumpkin spice two different things?  Does anybody know?  I'll just count 'em as two different things.

Back to my tally: Pumpkin donuts, pumpkin muffins, pumpkin SPICE donuts and muffins, and of course, pumpkin pie.  Did I miss anything?  I'm sure I did.  It doesn't matter.

Pumpkin is EVERYWHERE this time of year, isn't it, Friends?!

And it's not just in things to eat!  NO!

I see pumpkins at stands by the side of the road.  They're usually sorted by size, and priced between $2 and $4 for small ones, $3 and $6 for medium pumpkins, and $4 and $7 for larges.  The really, really big pumpkins don't seem to turn up enough to need to be graded and put in their own spot at these roadside pumpkin purveyors.  I don't know what you do if you wanna buy one of the really bigguns.  Maybe you discreetly ask the pumpkin seller how much for the giant pumpkin.  Maybe you haggle like you do when you're buying a car.

I don't like to haggle, though.  It isn't my thing.

I think if I wanted to buy a great, big, giant pumpkin, I'd just go up to the pumpkin seller, and point to the one I want, say 'How much you want for that?' and if the price isn't crazy, like a quarter of a kajillion dollars or anything like that, I'd probably get out some foldin' cash and hand it over in exchange for the pumpkin.

Someday, I might grow my own pumpkins.  I like 'em that much!  Maybe I'll grow a coupla those great-big-huge pumpkins.

On my last trip to the Wegmans, I saw a curious sight.  All over the store, there were dozens and dozens of pumpkins.  In roadside pumpkin stand terms, they ranged from large smalls to small mediums, I'd guess.  Some were bigger than others, but they all had FACES painted on 'em!

Now, I didn't wanna make a big deal out of seeing pumpkins with FACES on, because for one thing, I think I've mentioned before about the way I get a little embarrassed for other little kids carrying on for stuff at the store.  I don't want anybody needing to be embarrassed for me.  I mean, I tried walking in those shoes up to Bully Hill that day, and the more I think about it, the more I'd like to just go back in time and give myself a chill pickle.

Back to my pumpkins with faces.

The worst thing about Pumpkin Season is that it has to end!

I couldn't help but be fascinated with 'em, though, Friends!  I have never seen anything like 'em in my whole life!  So I let an 'OH WOW!' out, and when Mommy asked what I thought was so fascinating, I pointed right to a pumpkin with a face on it!  Mommy asked me if I'd like to adopt one of those pumpkins with the face, and I sure did!  The pumpkin I picked out wasn't the biggest one in the store, and it wasn't the smallest, but I thought it had pleasant features.  The kissy lips made me laugh!

So the pumpkin rode around in the cart with me while we got all the things on our grocery list, and once it had its barcode scanned at the checkout, we were off to the races again.

The thing about things with faces, even pumpkins, is that it's hard to remember that they're not people.  You know what I mean, Friends?  Whether it's a pumpkin or a pancake, you go and put a face on it, and I think it's a friend.  I bring this up because when I read the tag on the pumpkin, I couldn't help but see that it said "decorated pie pumpkin."  I asked Mommy what this was all about, and she said you make pumpkin pie out of pumpkins, and some pumpkins are better for pie than other pumpkins, and my pumpkin with a face is apparently a good pumpkin pie-making pumpkin.

This upset me a little bit, Friends.  I'm not going to lie.  Because like I said, my pumpkin with a face has a face, and I've gotten attached.  And I know it can't keep its face if it's gonna be pie.

I'll love my pumpkin with a face for now, and enjoy pie later!

Then Mommy told me all about Jacko Lanterns, and how you take a pumpkin and cut out openings for its eyes, nose, and mouth, and then you stick a candle inside the pumpkin, and it makes a face that glows.  That sounds really fun and really pretty!  But then I wondered what happens after Halloween to Jacko Lanterns.  Mommy said that some Jacko Lanterns get smashed by big kids who don't have enough manners or enough to do on Halloween night, and the ones that don't get smashed wind up getting all wrinkly and mooshy.  And they can't even have pie made out of them.  They just become compost, if they're lucky.

That made me kind of sad, Friends, the thought of pumpkins going to waste, or getting all smashed on Halloween night.  So I guess I'm kinda glad that my pumpkin with a face is a pie-pumpkin, and that after Halloween, Mommy can cut up the pumpkin and make pie out of it, or maybe pumpkin pudding.  She says she's gonna let me pick what she makes out of the pumpkin.  I don't want to dishonor my pumpkin with a face by letting it get all mushy so it isn't good to anybody anymore.

So my plan is to love my pumpkin with a face while it's Halloween Season, and then look forward to a pumpkin treat made from it later on in the fall.  I think it's a pretty sound plan.  I just kinda wish I could go back to the days when I thought pumpkin grew in cans right at Wegmans.

All right, Friends!  I love ya!  Be nice to the pumpkins, but don't get too attached to 'em, even if they have faces, mmmmmkay?  Muah!

Runnin' Sweepy!

I love to run Sweepy! It's fun AND helps out!

Hiya, Friends!  I don't know about you, but I'm sure glad I live in a world after the vacuum cleaner was invented.  I don't know what people did with their houses before vacuums were invented.  I guess they used a broom and just always got used to having a little dirt-n-dust left behind.

And they call those the good old days!

Anyway, I KNOW runnin' a sweepy isn't the favorite thing to do on anybody's priority list, except maybe mine, but could you imagine how tedious it was before the Sweepy?  I know people had rugs and carpets on their floors before Sweepies!  What did they do?  They had to take up the rugs, take 'em outside, hang 'em on a line, and beat 'em!

Sweepy cleans the floor faster than a broom and dustpan!

It probably relieved a lot of stress, but it had to be messy, and hard work, and in the summer, hot!  I'd rather push around a machine that makes noise and sucks all that dirt out of the carpet fibers!  That's what I'd rather do!

Well, if I were being honest, I'd rather eat ice cream than beat rugs OR run the sweeper, but since I can't have ice cream all the time, and also, the sweeper needs to be run, that's what I'd rather do besides taking the rugs out to be beaten.

We have a lot to sweep up around here.  There's lotsa dust, and also, lotsa Rozzie hair.  Boyo boy, I don't know how Rozzie sheds as much as she does and still has lotsa hair for me to run my fingers through!  I love Rozzie's soft fur!

Oh, Rozzie! Even Snowman says you're sheddy, but we love you!

I should say I love Rozzie's soft fur when it's on Rozzie!  Sometimes, it tumbles across the floor like the tumbleweeds I saw in Julius' Wild West Bananza!  Hoo Boy!

That's when it's great to have Sweepy around!

Instead of being all grouchy about having to run Sweepy lots, I just think of how things were when my house was built, all the way back in the eighteen hundreds!  I think of those ladies who had to wear corsets and take the rugs out to beat 'em, and I sure am grateful that I have Sweepy.  I'll see ya tomorrow, Friends!

What It Is About Fall

The Fall is magical, and I'll tell ya why!

Friends, I love the fall.  There just seems to be excitement along with that bite in the air, once the weather starts turning a little cooler.  I've really been puzzling over what it is about the fall that feels so... well, to use a term that some have argued I overuse, MAGICAL.  Fall feels magical to me, Friends!

I think what it is, Friends, is that there's always something to decorate for, here in the fall, without any breaks or gappage between decorating holidays!

Think about it!  In January, all the decorations come down from Christmas, and we just have Januaryness for a coupla weeks, until it's time to decorate for Valentine's.  Then I guess you could put up your St. Patricks stuff right after Valentine's, but sometimes, St. Patrick's Day sorta overlaps with Easter, and some years, there's a long stretch between St. Patrick's Day and Easter. 

Besides, during all those holidays I mentioned, there's snow to fight with.  That can suck a festive mood outta anybody.  It's all just grind, grind, grind.

During the warm months, there's not a lot to decorate for.  I guess you could get all flagulous for Memorial Day, Flag Day, and the Fourth of July.   You could.  But really, we're talking about putting out your flags at the end of May and just keeping them there until July, and most people do that, anyway.  Lots of people do that, anyway.  There's not a lot of change between. 

Then, back-to-school, and things start getting exciting.  I went to Aunt Colleen's classroom to help her decorate for back-to-school... Okay, so what I really did is stick her big dice in my mouth and try to get my hands on the dry-erase markers.  I went with the intention of helping Aunt Colleen decorate her classroom for back-to-school, and it's the thought that counts.

I suppose civilians could decorate for back-to-school.  I envision an epic tableau outside my house, with giant pencils and erasers festooning the yard.  I can't help but notice, nobody has done an epic back-to-school tableau such as the one I'm visualating, and I wonder if it's because people aren't so excited about back-to-school, or if they're afraid of retribution from angry high schoolers who will come to their yards and shout out geometric proofs in protest of the decorating scheme, because it celebrates their oppression.  Or, maybe it's like Mommy says: if you put crap in your yard during lawn mowing season, you've gotta move it out of the way before you can mow every week, and then put it all back.

This is also why Mommy vetoed my idea for an epic back-to-school tableau in our yard.

So that brings up these Fallidays.  First, you've got Halloween.  People go all-out for Halloween, with the blow-up lawn ornaments, and regular lawn ornaments, and they make their houses all spooktacular (a word that makes Mommy die a little inside everytime it's uttered, she says, but I like it like I like cracks in a sidewalk!  Sorry Mommy!)  I suspect this is because it's just plain fun to decorate for Halloween, and also, the grass doesn't grow as fast in the fall, and even if it did, you wouldn't know it, because the leaves are all over the place anyway!

I love to watch the decorations change!

Then Halloween gives up the ghost just in time for the turkeys and fall-colored wreaths, and cornucopias and Indian corn!  Yes, Thanksgiving.  Not as fun to decorate for as Halloween and Christmas, but you get to eat turkey and pumpkin pie, so the least you can do is put some Indian corn on your door, Friends!  It's a nice holiday to decorate for!

A lotta people then use the day after Thanksgiving as the opportunity to put up their Christmas stuff, and Christmas decorations make Halloween decorations look sparse at some places.  It's almost as though one second, everything's normal, and the next, it all glitters and sparkles and plays "Santa Claus Is Comin' To Town!"  And I know you think of Christmastime as winter, but you're wrong!  Christmas itself is JUST into winter, but Christmas Decorating Season is actually in the fall. 

And that helps make the Fall the magical season it is.  That's why I love it, Friends!  Something new every few weeks.  I love ya!  Muah!

Tractor-Tractor

Hiya, Friends! Zoe here, reporting from the tractor!

Friends, have I told you lately how much I love the tractor?  If I have, I apologize for repeating myself.  But I really, really love the tractor.  It can do so many neat things!

Well, for instance, it can mow the lawn and plow the snow out of the driveway.  It can move and smooth gravel and dirt!  It can push or pull over trees!  It can carry heavy things.  It can lift up heavy things.  It can pull a wagon or a trailer (Not my Little Red Wagon!)!  It can push dirt around!

Safety's important! Buckle up and protect your ears!

Plus, it's just fun to ride around on!

It's hard for me to quantify just what's the best thing about my tractor, because there are so many things I love about it.  It's one of those gems that's fun to use AND super-useful!

I don't know when, exactly, it was that I started really liking the tractor.  I think it's always been this way.  I think I was just born to love the tractor.  You see, nobody said "Zoe, you oughtta think the tractor's cool!"  Nope!  I thought that, all on my own!  One day, I heard its engine, and saw this brilliant-looking orange vehicle go by, and I was just in love with it!  I wanted to find out everything I could about it!

Be careful leaving the garage!

I do practice safety when I'm on the tractor.  For starters, I always, ALWAYS buckle up.  Next, I put on a pair of earphones.  They keep the sharp sound from hurting my ears.  And, they look cool.  Looking cool isn't EVERYTHING, but it's a nice bonus to have when you're protecting your hearing, anyway!

It's important to be really careful when driving something like the tractor!  You've gotta be on the lookout for people, animals, and things at all times.  You don't wanna run into anybody or anything!  You definitely don't! 

So, I love the tractor, and I love being safe on the tractor.  I really do.  When I drive the tractor*, I just love to think about things and stuff.  I get a lot of thinkin' done when I drive the tractor.  I get a lot of movin' stuff done, too! 

Hey!  The tractor helps me multi-task, Friends!  How about that?!

*Psssst, Friends- I only get to drive the tractor in my imagination.  For one thing, my legs are still too short to reach the pedals, and for the other thing, I'm TWO.  My Mommy would never just let me drive the tractor all by myself!  I could get hurt!  Imagination tractor rides are the best, though!  So it's all okay!  Okay!  Zoe out!