Ridin' With The Hell's Toddlers, Revisited!

I'm gettin' searched by a K9 Unit!

Hiya, Friends!

Well, ya know, even though my motorbike group the Hell's Toddlers do our best not to attract the attention of law enforcement personnel, every once in a while, we get pulled over for various reasons.  Apparently a big groupa toddlers on motorbikes is irresistible to the police. 

They always wanna check us out.

It seems like no matter what we get pulled over for, we end up gettin' searched.  And they always find some sort of contraband. 

Oh, you know how it is.  Harmless stuff, really, but if you're followin' the letter of the law, I suppose people could get all bent out of shape about it. 

Lemme fill ya in, and you can decry the unfairness of it all with me:

Unauthorized candy.  That's a big one.  Somebody's always gettin' pinched for havin' unauthorized candy on 'em, and if they do, it's a minute in Time-Out per age of the offender in years, times the number of instances of unauthorized candy.  Stinky Peterson got caught with about ten pouches of Pop Rocks once.  Tried to tell the officers that pulled us over that they weren't even his- he was holding them for a friend.  He wasn't foolin' anybody, though.  Those were Stinky's Pop Rocks.  Stinky got off with a warning, and the officers' sympathies for bein' named 'Stinky,' but they took his Pop Rocks, and boy was Stinky ever mad!

Of course, besides unauthorized candy, somebody always gets found with a toy that's too old for 'em.  You know.  A two-year-old carrying a toy labeled for Ages 4+.  A three-year-old caught with a stapler.  And there's just no talking to the authorities.  They see it, they see you're not old enough to have that toy, according to the label, and they take it away. 

I want my stapler back, by the way. I did three minutes in Time-Out for having that stapler, and they didn't even give it back after they took it.

Don't even get me started on the disturbin' the peace.  Listen.  We're a club of toddlers.  Somebody's always melting down, and when a toddler melts down, it's gonna disturb the peace.  If they get you for that, you can plan on headin' straight for the Naptime for one to three.  Hours.

Well, you know, there's never a dull moment, when you're ridin' with the Hell's Toddlers.  Never a dull moment at all, Friends.

Hey.  I'll see ya tomorrow.  I love ya lots, Friends.  I really do!  Muah!