Trolley!

Look!  It's me, Gramma, and Aunt Colleen with Trolley!

Friends, a few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to visit the Pittsburgh Children's Museum.  Now, the whole entire day was pretty cool, but one of my favorite things (besides the Water Room on the Top Floor of the Children's Museum) was getting to meet Trolley... THE Trolley from Mister Rogers' Neighborhood and the Neighborhood of Make Believe, where Daniel Tiger lives!

I can't believe I'm sitting at the controls of Trolley!

In case you're not familiar with Trolley or Mister Rogers or Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood, or in case you've forgotten, Trolley started out as an inter-dimensional traveler between Mister Rogers' studio in his neighborhood and the Neighborhood of Make Believe.  The magical interdimensional part occurred somewhere inside the tunnel behind the wall at Mister Rogers' studio.

Trolley would definitely hafta decide to travel interdimensionally in that tunnel, because sometimes Trolley would just use the tunnel to go from the studio's living room to the fish tank or to the kitchen area, or to where the screen for Picture-Picture was.  Other times, Trolley would start out in the studio and wind up in the Neighborhood of Make Believe.

Trolley AND Mr. McFeely could both travel between the dimensions, relaying messages and bringing presents between Mister Rogers in his studio and the friends in the Neighborhood of Make Believe.

Pretty cool!

This is pretty much the best day ever so far!

I'm not sure how it all worked.  I'll hafta study some more of those Mister Rogers episodes to really see how it was done, and under which circumstances Trolley traveled interdimensionally, and under which circumstances Trolley would just go from the living room to the kitchen, for instance.

These days, Trolley is the main mode of transportation in the Neighborhood of Make Believe, where Daniel Tiger lives.  They don't drive cars or trucks in Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood, although Mr. McFeely is there, and he drives his delivery bike. 

I tell a lie.  When there's a really big Speedy Delivery, Mr. McFeely has been known to drive a box-van.  Like the day the class voted on a swingset.  The swingset wouldn't have ever fit in the basket on Mr. McFeely's bike.  Not even in the Neighborhood of Make Believe.

But the riding around the Neighborhood to be done is done aboard Trolley.

I have a lot of admiration for Trolley.  You could say I'm a Big Trolley Fan.  So it was an INCREDIBLE day when I got to see Trolley for myself.

It's a day I will never, ever forget!

I Can't Believe Mommy Put This Picture Up

Oh, Mommy.  Paybacks.  Paybacks are heck. 

Hiya, Friends.  Well, as you can see, I found myself at a moment of weakness and I lay down, just for a little bit of shut-eye.  And as you can also see, dang ol' Mommy went and snapped a picture of me, out colder than a frozen chicken.

I've got to say I don't appreciate this kind of thing.

I don't understand what it is with Big People taking pictures of sleeping little kids.  Everybody sleeps.  EVERYBODY!  I don't see why Big People hafta take pictures of us napping.  It just doesn't make sense to me, and furthermore, I think it takes away my dignity.  Look at me.  I'm asleep.  I can't even defend myself.  I am off in a dream.  Probably a dream where I'm riding an icing slide around the toppa a house-sized cupcake, splashing into a pool of sprinkles and glittery sugar. 

That's what I was dreaming of when this picture was taken, I bet.

You know, naps are a funny thing for me.  I fight 'em like I'm possessed, but once I get all settled down and cozy and into a really great dream, I realize I kind of like naps.

That doesn't mean Mommy's off the hook for puttin' up this picture of Sleepy Me, though.  By golly!

Zoe's Techno Rewind: Television Antennas

"Too Foreign, Seven:" how to remember the channels from the TV antenna.

Hiya, Big People!  Hey, I was out riding around with Mommy and Daddy the other day, and we drove by a house that had this great big metal thing on the roof.  It looked like spiky arrows or something, and it was HUGE!  And then when we got home, I was looking through the "before" pictures of the house where I live, and wouldja believe there was one of those big metal spiky arrow things up on my very roof once?

I didn't know what to make of this discovery, Friends.  I mean, I didn't even know what the things were!

As it turns out, these giant metal spiky things on toppa people's roofs were TV antennas!  People usedta get TV out of the AIR and the antennas would catch the channels!

Pretty cool, huh?

Well, no.  Not as pretty cool as I'd think.  You see, there weren't a lotta channels you could get out of the air.  The antennas couldn't catch channels that weren't in the air.  So people who live where Mommy grew up got three channels- Channel Two, Channel Four, and Channel Seven- the Big Three stations outta Buffalo.  Mommy said sometimes they got Channel 6 from Elmira, and later on, Channel 44, which was found on the Number 4 spot on the television dial.  Channel 44 was the Public Television Station, so Mommy could watch Mister Rogers and Sesame Street.

I woulda thought it was a happy day when Mommy could watch Sesame Street and Mister Rogers at her very own house, but Mommy said sometimes the channels came in all fuzzy, or snowy, or they wouldn't come in at all.  They'd hafta adjust the antenna just right.  There were antennas on toppa the television set, too, that needed to be pointed just so.

If you lived through those days, Friends, I feel for ya.  You had it rough. 

Anyway, I'll see ya tomorrow, and I'll be back next Tuesday for another Zoe's Techno Rewind!  I love ya lots!  Muah!

IncrediKitty!

Bad Day?  IncrediKitty to the rescue!

Hiya, Friends!  Have you ever thought about taking on an alter ego?  Have you ever thought about being a superhero of some sort, but lack a creative idea on what kind of superhero you wanna be?  Me, too, but the idea has suddenly come to me. 

Well, you know the Internet already knows all about Grumpy Cat.  I love Grumpy Cat.  I really do.  But Grumpy Cat is already doing the Grumpy Cat thing, and I wanna set myself apart.  So thanks to a neat cat mask I found at Aunt Colleen's house, I've decided that my superhero identity will be IncrediKitty!  And insteadda bein' all grumpy like Grumpy Cat, I'll be all happy like me, except with a cat mask on my face. 

I mean, look at me.  I've got FISH floating above my head.  You can't be grumpy when you're on dry land and there's fish floating above your head.

And unlike my pal Grumpy Cat, who spreads joy and cheer on the Internet by being grumpy, I'll spread joy and cheer by being HAPPY and making other people happy, too!  It'll work so well, folks will say 'That's incredible!'  and I'll say, "No, that's IncrediKitty!"

I'll also help people with their grammar and punctuation, whether they ask me to or not.  Nothing says 'I love you!' like unsolicited advice!

I love ya lots, Friends!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  In the meantime, if ya need IncrediKitty, just flash the Fish Beacon up in the sky!  Muah!

Zoe WithLizardBreath

Look out, Little Town! It's WithLizardBreath and LizardZilla!  Oooooo!

Friends.  As you may or may not know, when I was a little kid, my pal Rozzie told me that my middle name is 'WithLizardBreath.'  It isn't.  It's 'Elizabeth,' but you know what?  I kinda like being called Zoe WithLizardBreath.  It makes me laugh.  I know it isn't true, and I figure if I embrace names like that now, when I get to the playground, things like that that other little kids will say to me won't bug me. 

Pre-emptively co-opting their fuel, Friends.  It's a strategery!

Anyway, just to set the record straight, if I have WithLizardBreath, then lizard breath must smell like PEZ.  And Sparkle Fun toothpaste.  Occasionally Smarties.  How about that?

And recently, I met an actual rubber lizard named Pinky who wanted me to tell everybody that lizards get a bad rap.  he wants me to let you know that lizards aren't bad people, and that we shouldn't get freaked out by their weird long tails.  And also, he wanted to apologize for his friend Godzilla's many rampages.  Apparently Godzilla has been dieting and has spent the last sixty or seventy years in a state of 'Hangry.'

I sure can relate to that.  I get really hangry when I'm hungry and angry for just an afternoon.  

So if ya see Godzilla stomping around in a state of hanger, throw him a big cookie.  He loves sweets.  Before you know it, he'll be the life of whatever party he almost stomped on.  (He really loves sixties dance music!)

I love ya lots, Friends!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

My Residency at St. Laffalotatus- Mercy-Mercy Hospital

A laugh a day keeps the doctor away!

Hiya, Friends!

Hey, I haven't checked in with ya from my residency at St. Laffalotatus- Mercy-Mercy Hospital in a while.  I'm still there, slogging along.  Still doing Spirit Lifts and Funnybone Repair Surgery. 

I'm learning a lot of stuff, Friends.  Even though I really like performing Spirit Lifts, and even though there's nothing I like more than a good Funnybone Repair, what I'm really trying to stress to my patience is preventative laughter medicine. 

It's true.  I'm trying to get my patients to need me less.  It's better for them.  All they hafta do is laugh a little each day, or smile.  Every day.  I don't think that encouraging my patients to practice preventative laughter-care on themselves at home is bad for my future business as a Physician of Fun.  I really don't.  A doctor's goal is to keep her patients as healthy as possible and to be there for them when things really get bad.  A Physician of Fun is no different. 

You see, my regular patients will come see me for checkups every year, or every few months- on whichever recall schedule they need to go on.  I'll see people for LaughWell, LiveWell checkups.  No problem!  To keep things running smoothly for them!

But sometimes unforeseen things pop up in life that steal someone's happy.  Things can dampen spirits.  Funnybones get broken.  Those are my acute-care patients.  Those are the people who need therapies such as Spirit Lifts, and work on their funnybones.  Sourgrapesectomies.  BadFeelingOtomies.  Those sorts of things.  And I'll be there for those patients, I sure will. 

I just wanna make sure my patients for the most part are on the LaughWell, LiveWell plan, and not needing acute laugh-therapy all the time. 

So remember what Dr. Zoe says, Friends: A laugh a day keeps the doctor away!

I love ya lots, Friends!  Big Muah!

Five More Twenty-Fives!

Let's list twenty-five things to be happy about today!

Hiya, Friends!  Happy Friday to you!  Didja notice what today is?  It's the Twenty-Fifth of the Month.  Now, I usually say something EVERY Twenty-Fifth of the Month, and you get all mad at me, so I'm gonna continue not saying it, but I want you to take special note that it's the Twenty-Fifth, and I'm still concentrating on the Number Five right now. 

In an effort to sweeten your mood the way peppermint and gingerbread are sweet (ahem), I thought I'd list twenty-five reasons to be happy today for you.  I'm not gonna explain 'em.  Just list 'em.  I'll leave a little room for you to reflect all on your own. 

So here it goes:

1)  The sun came up this morning!
2)  There's such a thing as chocolate!
3)  Fresh fruit and vegetables.
4)  The smell of coffee brewing in the coffeemaker.
5)  Having a nice bed to sleep in.
6)  Clothes to wear!
7)  Enough food to eat!
8)  Safety and security.
9)  The sky- whether it's blue or cloudy or starry- it's endlessly fascinating to look at!
10)  The way fresh-cut grass smells!
11)  Dogs and cats and other furry pets.
12)  Bedtime stories.
13)  Bubble baths!
14)  Root beer- and that goes double for root beer with free refills!
15)  Delicious Donuts!
16)  Cupcakes of all kinds!
17)  Friends and family!
18)  Feeling the sun on your face!
19)  Flowers.
20)  A fresh boxa crayons!  (If it's been a while since you've experienced this, Friends, get one now!)
21)  Balloons!
22)  Seeing the American Flag flapping in the breeze and knowing that's YOUR flag!
23)  Laughing.
24)  Rainbows!
25)  Being able to help someone else out and seeing a smile on their face!

This isn't a comprehensive list, Friends.  But it's a good start.  It's something to think about and it's a lot of reasons to be happy.  I love the heck right out of you, Friends, and I'll be seeing you tomorrow, mmmkay?  Muah!