These Donuts I Developed Aren't Gonna Present Themselves!

I'm gonna present my Flapjacks-n-Jowls Donut today!

Hiya, Big People! 

As you know, I recently accepted a position at my friend Donut Dude's Corporate Headquarters, as the Director of Donut Development.  The job is great fun and hardly feels like I'm at work. 

Sure beats the heck outta fillin' out TPS Reports every day, I'll tell ya that much!

So, I'm in charge of developing new donut flavors and concepts, you know, coming up with the ideas for new flavors, and then formulating and trying recipes (and formulating and trying new recipes until I find one that really suits).  I work with a team of people, and although I direct the team, we all collaborate.  We all brainstorm.  We all work together to bring out the best donut offerings.

After we have the idea and the recipe down, we make a buncha the new donuts, and then we go out in Donut Dude Donut Trucks to distribute them to potential customers.  I think this is called a "market test," or a "beta test," but we know it as "lettin' people try our new donuts and tellin' us what they liked and didn't like about 'em!"

After that phase of the process, it's back to the drawing board, because there's always tweaking to do.  It isn't that people are hard to please, but when they find something they sort of like, or they want to like, but it just isn't "there" yet, my team and I like to do whatever we can to make sure we get the new donut to "sensational!" status.

Oh, sure.  Sometimes we develop a dud.  We tried a Sun Dried Tomato, Broccoli, and Cheese donut that seemed like a good idea at the time- kind of a savory donut insteadda the familiar sweet donuts.  We were tryin' to be edgy and new.  But here's the thing, people didn't like it.

I guess there's a good way to be edgy and a bad way, and that's the bad way to do it, Friends.  Nobody liked that donut.  We didn't really get a lot of complete feedback on that one, but we got a lot of "Yuck!" and "What is WRONG with you?!" on the forms, so we figure that's one to put away and not spend any more of our R&D money and time on.

However, today I'm presenting a new donut, and I think it's a winner.  I think it's edgy in all the right ways.  While I'm not on the crest of the trend, I think I'm definitely riding in the good part of the wave with this one:

The Flapjacks-n-Jowls Donut (working title), which is a pancake-flavored donut (hence the flapjacks), filled with a delicious maple-flavored buttercreme that has pieces of crispy, applewood-smoked bacon folded carefully into it.  And then the whole donut is glazed in a maple glaze and iced with a maple-flavored ganache, and topped with more crispy, maple-candied applewood-smoked bacon crumbles.  The "jowls" part comes from the bacon.

I don't know about you, but I think we have a winner on our hands.  There'll be some people who won't like it, because they don't like to get their bacon all syrupy, but I think a lotta folks will think it's just the ticket.  I just hafta present, and get Donut Dude to okay mass-producing them so we can put them on the donut trucks!  How about that?!

Friends, even if an idea seems weird at first, sometimes, you've just gotta give it a spin.

I love ya lots!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

What Day Is It?

How 'bout a Souvenir Snapshot of you on this Wednesday?

Well, hiya, Big People!  It sure is good to see ya!

What's today? ... Wednesday?  Yeah, you're right.  It's Wednesday. 

You know, it was a lot easier to keep tracka the middle of the week when my pal Joe the Camel would come through my old job, announcing that it's Hump Day.  I don't work there anymore, but even if I did, Joe the Camel left that job and went into business for himself, owning a canteen company.

I guess nobody knows how to bring water along in a variety of situations like a camel.  I say Good On Joe the Camel!

Now that I work over to Donut Dude's Corporate Headquarters, I've tried to find a good substitute for Joe the Camel, for announcing what day it is.

For example, I tried re-branding my best pal Rozzie as the "Days of the Week Dog!"  Let's just say that every day was "Woof-Woof-Woof-Woof!" and it was always Greenie Time.  Sometimes the power just goes straight to somebody's head, you know?

Then I tried to convince my friend Buddy at Gramma's House to be the Calendar Cat.  He wasn't interested in the position. 

Well, I guess until I can get one of those clocks that has the seven different slices, and it points to which day of the week it is, I'll just hafta live in a state of perpetual Friday.  How about that?!

I love ya lots, Friends!  I'll see ya tomorrow!

Li'l Ladies Who Lunch at Luncheons!

It's great to be a Li'l Lady Who Lunches at Luncheons!

Well, hiya, Friends!  Happy Tuesday to you!

You know, a little while ago, a buncha my friends and I formed a club called Li'l Ladies Who Lunch at Luncheons, and we dress in our Li'l Ladies Who Lunch outfits, and we eat luncheons.  Sometimes we have a guest speaker.  Sometimes we play card games.  Usually it's something like Go Fish or Old Maid, but on other occasions, we play a good game of Texas Hold'em. 

I'll tell ya what, that Pidgie McDougall is absolutely cut-throat at Texas Hold'em.  She'd say the same thing about me, but it's Pidgie you hafta look out for.

My friend Sabretooth always asks if he can come along on a Luncheon with the Li'l Ladies.  Not so much because he adores the company of a buncha Li'l Ladies lunching- he says we're annoying and we talk too much- but Sabretooth loves Luncheons.  And he likes to play cards. 

I don't know, Friends.  I don't think I'll take along Sabretooth.  I like him a lot and everything, but I'm afraid he'd adversely affect the group dynamic of the group, you know what I mean?  Everybody, I think, has a group of friends that you really get along great with, and it's easy to converse and be socially social, but then you bring That One Friend of yours, and That One Friend is a perfectly nice individual, and is generally well-liked, but when That One Friend comes along and meets up with your groupa friends that you really get along great with, and it's like some weird kind of chemical reaction, and either the conversation is really flat, suddenly, or silent, or a fight gets picked, where there were never fights before.

I think I'm gonna just explain to Sabretooth that although I know he's great, he really wouldn't look right in a Li'l Ladies Who Lunch at Luncheons sweater set, or sweater sets in general, but I'd be happy to go to lunch or dinner with him at another time, when we can talk about the stuff we like to talk about!

That's what makes having a diverse groupa friends so great, Friends!  You never run out of things to talk about!

Hey.  I love ya lots, Big People!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Jump!

Go ahead and jump (on the couch!)

Hiya, Big People!

Hey, I know it's Monday and all, but I gotta say, I'm listenin' to the dang ol' Van Halen on the hi-fi, and it just makes me wanna jump, and inexplicably have a Pepsi.

Well, maybe not so inexplicably.  You see, in the 1980s, Van Halen let Pepsi use their song called "Right Now," which is not the song that instructs you to go ahead and jump.  It's the one that tells ya that it's your tomorrow.  And then Van Halen let Pepsi use the song again in 1992-93 for their ill-fated Crystal Pepsi product. 

Yep.  You're lookin' at a kid who's studying all facets of POPular culture (see what I did there?  Pepsi's pop! Ha!)

And.  I also know my music.  Anyways, there's just something about that music that makes me feel great.  Like anything's possible, even jumpin' on the couch on a Monday and not gettin' in trouble for it. 

So go on and jump, Friends!  It's your tomorrow!  Do it right now!

I love ya lots!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

PEZ-ant!

Friends, I am proud to be a PEZ-ant!  You bet I am!

Friends, if you know me, you know that I am an avid fan of PEZ candies and their dispensers. 

Sometimes, when I accompany Mommy to the grocery store, insteadda hinting around that I want a candy bar or frozen novelty or boxa cereal to commemorate my trip to the Food Palace, I'll ask her if we can take a stroll to where they keep the PEZ dispensers, so I can choose one I don't have yet. 

Right now, I'm workin' on collectin' all the characters from the Toy Story movies!  I have Woody right now and am on the hunt for Buzz, Jessie, and a representative LGM.

I think that what it is about PEZ that makes me love 'em so much is that the dispensers are whimsical and useful.  They double as playthings AND they dispense one of my favorite candies!   Plus, I love the PEZ candies themselves.  I love their shape, their crunchiness, and how they taste like Magic!

Yep, Big People.  If you were to call me a PEZ-ant, I'd look ya right in the eye and say "That's me!"

I am a PEZ-ant, and darn proud, Friends!  Yes I am!

Hey.  I'll see ya tomorrow.  I love ya lots!  Muah!

I Have My VeeDub Bus!

This van runs on the Power of Imagination, Babies!

Friends, I believe that when I last wrote and you last read, I was tellin' ya all about the functioning rocket-ship I wanted to build in our yard so I can fly into outer space.  Remember how I told ya that all the forces were conspiring against me: my mother, and possibly the local authorities, just to name the most pernicious?  Remember how I told ya all about that?

Well, I guess I can't do a weekend project that involves building and flying that rocket-ship, but that's not gonna get me down!  It sure isn't!

I remembered that I have my Volkswagen Bus Tent.  I love that bus!  It has all kindsa great features like windows, and retro styling, and a spare tire.  Best of all, though, it runs on the Power of Imagination. 

This is where that VeeDub Bus gets really interesting, Friends, because you see, the whole point of me wanting to build a functioning rocket-ship in the yard was so I could fly to outer space.  With my bus, I can just get inside and imagine I'm flying in space!  It's gonna save me a BUNDLE in rocket fuel, Big People!  Do you have any idea how much that stuff costs?  It costs a whole buttload of money, it does.  And then you've gotta answer a buncha awkward questions about why you need rocket fuel, and intrusive inquiries of that sort.

The VeeDub Bus Tent just sails smoothly right around all that mumbo jumbo, Friends!  Isn't that great?

I love ya Big People!  I'll be seein' ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Twenty-Four

I'm only lookin' out for ya, Big People!  I'm on your side!

Hiya, Friends! 

Well, ya know, there's a few things on my mind today that I need to mention.  so I hope you've had your Omega-3s.  Maybe a nice piece of fish for breakfast or something to really feed your brain, because I'm gonna give it a big working-out!  You bet I am!

The first thing on my mind today is that, by golly, it's the twenty-fourth of the month.  Do you know what that means, Big People?!  Do you? 

That's right.  It's time for me to remind you how many months you have to get ready for Christmas Eve.  Since it's the Month of April right now, it's the fourth month of the year, and there are twelve months of the year, and Christmas Eve falls in the twelfth month... lemme wanna carry the one, and...

Friends, there's eight months until Christmas Eve.  Don't be all mad at me for pointing this out.  I do this to perform a public service so that it doesn't sneak up on ya in December. 

Let's see.  The other thing that's on my mind today is that it's Friday.  Fridays are great fun, aren't they?  I just love 'em.  All the weekend's potential, right here.  All the fun we're gonna have.  All the things we're gonna do.

You know, I had a really great weekend project planned for this weekend, and Mommy vetoed it.  What I wanted to do this weekend is go to the dang ol' Home Depot and Lowe's and buy the stuff I'd need to make myself a functioning rocket-ship, so I could fly into outer space!  That's what I wanted to do!

Don't you know That Mommy said that obtaining a building permit for a functioning rocket-ship would be nigh onto bein' impossible in my township, on accounta we're zoned specifically for not having functioning rocket-ships built on our property?  I didn't think my township had it together so well as to ZONE things, but hey, what do I know?  I'm three and a half.  They haven't made a Big Board Book of Rules in the Bing.

But they should! 

They say nobody ever reads the handbook until they run into a problem, and I think I've run into a problem with Mommy and this zoning business and how it all interferes with my functioning rocket-ship I can fly into outer space!  That's what, Friends!

So, as you can see, I've got some workin' to do.  Got some stuff cut out for me that I've gotta take care of.  I'll see ya tomorrow.  I sure do love ya lots!  Muah!