Shelves Without Elves

No elves on my shelves! I prefer my shelves elfless!

Hiya, Friends! 

You know, it's the holiday season, and all you Grownups are tryin' to devise ways to keep Little Kids like me in line.  It's come to my attention that you've even enlisted the help of little spy-elves who station themselves on shelves in Little Kids' houses, and then trek back to the North Pole overnight to fill Santa Claus in on all the things the Little Kid does during the day.

I think this is a low-down, sneaky thing to do to a Little Kid, Big People!  Our lives are difficult enough, without having a little tattle-taling elf in our midst, filing a report every time we behave in sucha way that you Grownups deem unfit for the Holiday Season.

Also, it's a wee bit of a double standard, don'tchya think? 

Bear with me. 

Take complaining, for instance.  A Little Kid complaint would light up the Elf on a Shelf's tattling receptors and there'd be a report on the "bad" behavior filed so fast it'd make its little elvish head spin.  But what aboutchyoo Big People?  I don't suppose you EVER complain?

What about gettin' tired and bein' contrary.  Behavior such as this would have a Little Kid sent straight to time-out, and a report filed by the Elf on a Shelf.  But you Grownups never get tired and cranky and contrary and uncooperative?  Does anybody file reports on YOU with Santa Claus?

Nope! 

In the end, all we Little Kids want is to have our voices be heard.  We wanna be listened to.  Just like you.  We don't need a spying elf ratting us out to Santa Claus.  Besides, I think the Big Man at the North Pole understands us Little Kids a lot better than you think he does, and he certainly understands us a lot better than you Big People do, sometimes!  How about that?!

I am proud to say that my shelves will be without elves this holiday season!  I love ya just the same, though, Big People!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Ridin' the Rails on the Fun Train!

I'm an engineer on the Fun Train, Friends!  How about that?!  All aboard!

Hiya, Friends! 

Well, I guess ya know, with me being around all those trains recently, I've become something of a train enthusiast. 

In fact, I've become such a train enthusiast, I decided I'd become a train engineer.  This entailed my purchase of a train engineer costume from the gift shop at the Pennsylvania Railroad Museum, as well as a train whistle souvenir.  That part of the deal went splendidly, and now I'm a train engineer!

My train that I drive is called the Fun Train, although I did my apprenticeship on the Crazy Train.  That was a good time, but somebody else is already engineering the Crazy Train right now, and there's a deep waiting list to take over, so I decided I'd just go drive the Fun Train instead.  So far, it's working out great!

That just goes to show you, Friends, that if you have a dream, you should follow it.  That's how I live, and I think it works GREAT!  Hey.  I'd better get going.  The Fun Train is about to leave on an excursion, but I'll see ya tomorrow.  I love ya lots!  Muah!

I Got All The Way to the Mall and...

Oh, good grief, I'm at the wrong mall!

Oh, Friends, what a day, WHAT A DAY!!! 

I decided to see what all the fuss about Black Friday shoppin' is all about and arranged to meet up with my other Little Kid Friends at the Mall.

I hopped in my Fancy Orange Convertible and ventured out to the Mall.  It was a really nice drive.  I put on the musics I like to listen to, and drove on the highway.  I've gotta say, as a highway driver, I'm pretty courteous.  I move over so other cars can merge in, I drive at a reasonable speed, and when it's my turn to use the on-ramp to merge into traffic, I do so with a quiet confidence.  Zoom! And away I go!

Needless to say, it's a pretty long drive to the Mall, but also needless to say, I make the best of long drives!

Well, here's what happened.  I got all the way to the Mall, and parked my fabulous orange convertible car at the Main Entrance parking lot, section A4, to be exact, because that's where my Little Kid Friends and I agreed to park, and...

My Little Kid Friends were nowhere to be found! 

Just about when I was startin' to panic, my cellular telephone rang.  It was my Little Kid Friends.  As it turns out, they were at another Mall, in the Main Entrance parking lot, section A4, and there was no me to be found...

I had driven all that way to the wrong mall, which was coincidentally two hours in the opposite direction from my house from the mall where my Little Kid Friends were waiting for me!  I coulda driven up to meet them, or they coulda driven over to meet me, but it woulda wasted even more of the whole day.

So they went shoppin' at the Mall where they met up, and I went shoppin' at the Mall where I ended up, and we sent each other pictures of the things we were shoppin' for.

And then I made some new Little Kid Friends outta the kids that were at the Mall I drove to.

You'd be surprised how many of us were supposed to be meetin' friends at The Mall, only to find we'd driven to the wrong Mall.  Isn't that something?!

There's always a bright side, Friendskies!  I'll see ya tomorrow! 
I love ya lots!  Muah!

Black-and-White Friday!

On a day like today, you've gotta get back to the Black and White Friday Basics!

Hiya, Big People! 

Didja survive the Major Eatin' Holiday yesterday? 

Didja get up in the middle of the night to get an early jump on the Major Shoppin' Holiday of today?

I didn't.  I do my shoppin' online.  Actually, I have people who do my shoppin' for me.  I'm that bigga deal!  Haha!

Anyway, while you Big People are celebratin' Black Friday, I'm celebratin' Black and White Friday.  All that means is that I'm havin' my picture taken in black and white today.  It's fun in an old-timey kinda way, but I hafta admit that I also feel so dignified. 

The car behind me is nice, to.  Someday, my Pink Pedal Car hopes to grow up to be as big and dignified as this car I'm with.

Have fun out there, Friends!  Get your feet into some comfy shoes, take regular breaks to hydrate nad rest, and do Black Friday right if you're gonna do it!  I love ya lots!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Happy Thanksgiving to You!

Give thanks for all the things that make ya smile... like ICE CREAM CONES!

Hiya, Big People! 

Hey. 

Today's Thanksgiving Day, and I'm plannin' on watching Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade on the television, here in a little bit, and then goin' to Gramma's to have turkey and pie and an assortment of side dishes, but first, I wanted to drop in on ya and say Happy Thanksgiving!

I hope ya know it every day, but I'd better tell ya today, especially, since it's Thanksgiving, and all, when I give thanks for all the things that make me smile, you're on toppa my list, Big People.  Well, you and ice cream cones.  And cupcakes.  All those things, as well as you, Friends.  That's the toppa my list of things that make me smile that I'm thankful for. 

So have a wonderful Thanksgiving, Friends!  I love ya lots, and I'll be seein' ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Strikin' Out on Strikin' Up a Friendship!

Peter Stonewall and I aren't speaking currently.

Friends, remember what I said yesterday about how you could strike up conversations and friendships on the train?  Remember how I said that, and how wonderful I thought that woulda been?

Well, as it turns out, not everybody ya meet around trains is wanting to strike up conversation and friendship.

Take, for instance, the case of Mr. Peter Stonewall, pictured with me in today's picture.  Mr. Peter Stonewall looked like he was a lonely fella, so I marched up to him and said "Hiya!  I'm Zoe, and I'm four!  I'd like to be your friend!"  And do ya know what Mr. Stonewall said back to me?  Nothing.  In fact, he just kept a stony glare on his face, the whole time I was tryin' to be friendly.

In fact, I don't even know what his real name is.  I thought Peter Stonewall was a fitting name for this fella, since talkin' to him was like trying to talk to a stone wall.  The whole experience left me feelin' frusterated and my feelings were hurt, but I got to buy an ice cream from a real, honest-to-goodness ice cream truck that was outside the museum, so that made me feel a little better.

Hey.  I'll see YOU tomorrow, Big People.  I love ya lots.  Muah!

A Kind of Train I Can Support!

Steam trains are trains that I really like!

Friends, if you've been followin' along with me for any amount of time, you'll know that I like certain kinds of train better than I like other kinds of train.

For instance, I don't like the "potty train."  All that train has ever brought me is tears and frustration and the occasional sticker or Skittle, but once it seems like I'm gettin' the hang of it, the stickers and Skittles stop coming my way, so I've gotta mess up so Mommy will reward me again for my efforts at learning.  And the trick is I've gotta make it look like it's an accident.

That's neither here nor there for this post, though.

Recently, I visited a museum where they have a whole buncha trains.  The trains are just beautiful, and what really wowed me is that those trains used to roam wild on tracks, throughout the land! And they stopped in every little town!  Why, you could get on the train in Elmer or Mills or Lewisville, say, and ride that train pertineer anywhere you wanted to go!  All you needed was a train ticket... no driver's license necessary! 

You can see why such an arrangement would be attractive to a Little Kid such as myself.

Also, on the train, there'd be a whole buncha other people ridin' the train to pertineer anywhere they wanted to go.  Could you imagine the conversations and friendships you could strike up on a train?

Friends, I love ya lots!  I'll see ya tomorrow! Muah!

My Style Strategy!

Style is ten percent clothings, ninety-five percent attitude!

Hiya, Friends! 

Well, ya know, I like my fashions, and I like to dress nice, no matter if I'm just watching the television, or if I'm out and about.  I guess you could call me a fashion enthusiast, but what I'm really goin' for is havin' my very own style.

I think I'm well on my way to havin' my very own style.  I definitely have a strategy!

First, I choose clothings that reflect my vision of what my style even is.  I like bright colors, animal prints, interesting graphics, and some lace, frills, and sequins.

Second, I value washability, comfort, and functionality.  One time, I had a dressy-dress that was just gorgeous, but it was scratchy, and all's I could do in it was sit around, lookin' cute.  That's fine and all, but I'm a little lady on the move, so I repel clothings such as fancy dressy-dresses these days.

Third, and most importantly, if not most difficult to capture and-or imitate, is my attitude.  That right there is the difference between me wearin' my clothes and my clothes wearin' me.  I can tell ya that my attitude includes a smile most of the time, but I don't know how to put my attitude in a bottle so it's available for mass consumption.  I think that's the part you gotta do all for yourself, whether your style is posh or nerdy or whatever.  You gotta figure out your own attitude and make it work for you.

Whatever your style, Friends, I love the dickens right outta ya!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

My Friend Fozzie!

I just love this Fozzie fella, Friends!

Hiya, Friends!

You know, I love to travel, and I love to make new friends wherever I go.  But my favorite thing is traveling and meeting an established friend by chance while doing something I really, really love!

This recently happened, when I traveled to Lancaster to sleep in a caboose.  I met my friend Fozzie Bear, right at the motel!  And we went for a drive in his Classic Red Roadster.  He even let me drive. 

How about that?!

What I love most about Fozzie Bear is that he's funny, but even when he tells a clinker of a joke, which happens often, he doesn't let it get him down.  He doesn't let the failure define him.

I was already pretty excited to go on a road trip, but getting to see Fozzie and drive his Classic Red Roadster was just the icing on the roadtrip cupcake, Friends! 

I hope you have a friend that is as good to you as Fozzie Bear is to me!  I love ya lots, Big People!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Karaoke Rhapsody

I see a little silhouetto of a man! Saramouche! Scaramouche!

Hiya, Big People!  Happy Saturday to you!

You know, sometimes things get pretty unhumorous around the Department of Humorous Healing at St. Laffalotatus- Mercy-Mercy Hospital, when we're running around, trying to keep all our patients' spirits lifted.  We do our best to stay upbeat ourselves, but sometimes, we all get hit with the whammie.

When the whammy happens in the Department, we take action.  We have a day for Departmental Decompression Activities.  Sometimes we go to a Velcro Wall, sometimes we do Lifesize Inflatable Sumo Suit Bowling, sometimes we race extremely slow go-karts. 

My favorite Departmental Decompression Activity, though, is when we go to Karaoke!  Now, none of us in the Department missed our calling to be great singers, but when we're at Karaoke, we can pretend we are, and we can laugh at ourselves.  It lifts us right out of the doldrums.

My favorite Karaoke song right now is when we all sing "Bohemian Rhapsody" together.  That song is a classic.  When I sing my solo Karaoke, I like "Total Eclipse of the Heart."  Singing big, melodramatic music is the BEST for combating the doldrums we sometimes fall into in the Department of Humorous Healing.

You oughtta give it a try, Friends!  Sing loud!  I love ya lots, and I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Training for Black Friday!

It pays to be prepared for Major Shopping Holidays!

Hiya, Friends!  Happy Friday to you! 

You know, it's the last Friday before the Big Shopping Friday of the Year.  I don't know if you were aware of that or not, but I think of it as my public service to keep you apprised of what's happening on the calendar, so... you're welcome!

Anyways, I know you Big People are too smart to go into a Major Shopping Holiday without some serious planning and preparation, but I wanna just give ya a reminder of all the stuff you need to do for trainin' before you head out shopping next Friday!

Remember to wear comfortable shoes!  Have ya ever heard that sayin' that if your feet hurt, your work suffers?  Well, on Black Friday, shoppin' is your work, and you don't wanna get the people on your shoppin' list completely inappropriate presents, on accounta your feet hurtin' and impeding your ability to focus on your task at hand!

Next, have a list ready.  You can keep it in your telephone, or you can carry around a paper list.  But you've gotta write down who all you're shoppin' for, and check it twice, so you don't miss anybody, and then write a quick thumbnail of the direction you wanna head in your shopping for each person.

Wear layers!  If you live in the Northeast like I do, your shoppin' weather could be hot, cold, snowy, rainy, sunny... just be prepared.  Bring a big coat with ya to keep in the car, and dress in layers to keep yourself comfortable while you schuschel between the car and the stores, which are always way too hot!

Bring a snack in your pocket or bag!  I like bar-type snacks.  Gotta keep up your energy while you look for Christmas treasures!  And sometimes the lines are so long at the restaurants that you'll need a little something to hold you over until they can getchya a table!

Remember to bring along your patience and sense of humor.  Big People, your fellow humans lose their minds on Black Friday.  Be part of the solution, not part of the problem.  Be nice.  It'll be the Christmas Season, after all!


You can do it, Big People!  You still have a whole week to get into tip-top shoppin' shape!  I love ya!  And I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Confessions of a Part-Time Fairytale Princess

My princess superpower is takin' charge of my OWN fate!

Well, hey there, Big People!  Happy Thursday to you!  As you know, it's a mere Week Until Thanksgiving, or as I like to refer to it: "It's WUT?!"  But that isn't what I'm gonna talk to you about today.

Nope!

I'm going to let you in on a little-known fact about me, which is that I am a part-time fairytale princess.  I didn't really get into this whole fairy-princess thing until I visited Disney Princesses on Ice in January, and Daddy bought me all the Disney Princess movies, except Pocahontas and Mulan.  And maybe a few others I can't think of right now, but trust me, I have the big names: Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, FROZEN, Beauty and the Beast, the Little Mermaid, Aladdin, Tangled...  You get the picture.

So anyway, as a part-time princess, I dress up in my favorite princess dress on that given day, and I go around doing things princesses do.  Princesses often have a lot of pluck and sass.  If you watch those movies I mentioned, each Disney princess has pluck and sass in her own way.  Some of the earlier ones spend a lot of time waiting for their prince to come rescue them.

That's where the full-time fairy princesses and I have our princessy parting of the ways, pals.  Although I like to get along with everybody I can, and follow the rules, if there's a way I can get myself out of a jelly of a jam myself, I am going to do it.  If there's a particular prince I like, I don't just hope he finds me.  I march right up to him and say "Hi!  I'm Princess Zoe, and I like you!  Let's be friends!"

Conversely, if there's a prince that I think is kinda peevish, and he doesn't take my hints that amount to me ignorin' him, then I hafta say, "'Scuse me, Prince, I can't help but notice that you're trying to get my attention, and you have it, however, I must ask you to sit down and direct your attention elsewhere."  Usually that shuts down the situation, except the one time I misread what the prince was trying to tell me, and I stepped in gum.  Oopsies!  Even part-time princesses make mistakes!

So anyways, my style isn't everybody's cuppa magical tea, but I am a princess who likes to take charge of her OWN fate!  That really ought to be more of a Thing.

You know what, though, Big People?  I love ya lots!  And I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Wish I May...

If ya really want something, and you don't have a wishin' star, you gotta wish extra hard!

Hiya, Friends!  Happy Wednesday to you! 

Well, have you ever wished on a wishing star?

I sure have!  I love wishin' on wishing stars!

Thing of it is, sometimes, I have a really good wish I wanna make, and there are no wishing stars out for me to wish on.  What's a kid to do in that situation?

I'll tell ya what: you can definitely make a wish on a wishing star, even when there are no wishing stars to be had.  You've just gotta wish extra-hard for the thing you're wishing for!  How about that?

Lucky kids make their own luck, Big People, and so should you!

I love ya lots!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Just a Reminder!

I hope you're gettin' ready to get ready for the Major Eatin' Holiday!

Hiya, Big People!  Happy Tuesday to you!

Hey.  Didja know that we're just a week and two days away from Thanksgiving?  I figured if you didn't know, I'd be a good person to tell ya.

We're just a week and two days away from Thanksgiving!  Can you believe it?  Why, it seems just like last week I was packing for my Wonderful Lakeside Vacation, and here we are, talkin' about THE major eatin' holiday of the year, and the last major holiday of the year before the big major holiday of the year, which of course is Christmas!

Are ya ready for Thanksgiving, Big People?  Do ya have all the ingredients for your recipes gathered, or if not, do you at least have your shopping list all made out?  Do ya have enough disposable dishes and foldin' chairs for your friends and family who are coming to your Thanksgiving feast?

Well, I think Thanksgiving is all about gettin' together with the people you love, not makin' a ton of extra work for yourself.  That's why I'm a strong advocate of disposable dinnerware for big family gatherings.  You can use washable dishes the rest of the year!

Friends, I know I've given you a lot to think about today, so I'm gonna just moonwalk on outta here to a Day of Play.  Playin' is serious business when you're four, which is what I am.  I'll see ya tomorrow.  I love ya lots!  Muah!

Showers of Blessings!

There will be showers of blessings!

Hiya, Friends! 

Hey, I betchya you're wondering why I'm wearin' a raincoat inside the house.  I'll tell ya why.  It isn't because the roof leaks!  Not even a little bit!

Nope!  It's because there are just all kindsa showers of blessin's fallin' on my life!  Showers of blessin's, indeed!

What kindsa blessings? 

Well, I woke the heck up this mornin', so that's a big blessin', and that comes after me havin' a great night's sleep. You might not think that's a big deal, but go a few nights without a good night's sleep, and then you'll realize what a blessing it is to have a good night's sleep!

Then, I got to have a nicey warm bath.  It's a blessing not to hafta take a bath in cold water!  I know this, because Mommy fills my swimmin' pool with the hose in the summertime, and that's pretty much like takin' a bath in icy cold water.  I mean, sure, I have my bathin' suit on in the swimming pool, but funny thing about bathing suits is that they're not very warm!

Anyways, other blessin's in my showers of blessin's is that my house is warm and dry.  I get to see my best pal Rozzie every day.  I have lotsa toys to play with, enough food to eat, things to drink, potties... I didn't always think potties were great, but I've had to go in a coupla outhouses recently, and potties ROCK!  I get to see my Mommy and Daddy every day, and Daddy reads me to sleep every night.

See?  Showers of blessin's!  And I bet if you think about it, you stand in the middle of your own showers of blessin's!  How the heck about that, Friends?!

I love ya lots!  I'll see ya tomorrow, mmmkay?  Muah!

This Kid's Flamingo Dreams

It feels good to help our Pink Plastic Flamingo Friends!

Hiya, Big People!  Happy Sunday to you!

You know, one of my fondest dreams is to see to it that my very own yard at my house becomes a sanctuary for Pink Plastic Flamingos in Need, Danger or Transition. Flamingos are such beautiful and noble creatures, and also, I love their flamboyant pinkness.

Pinkitude, you should refer to it.  An attitude all its own!

I see this dream of helping Pink Plastic Flamingos as a mere extension of my helping raise awareness for the plight of Little Giraffes of the Wild Steppes Everywhere.  I see a species that needs help, and I jump in and do something to help.

Pink Plastic Flamingos and Little Giraffes are really quite compatible, when ya think about it, Friends.  They're both gentle creatures.  They're both misunderstood, in a way.  Some TigerBabies still think it's acceptable to gnaw on Little Giraffes.  As for the Pink Plastic Flamingos, why, even my very own Daddy misunderstands them.  I think their pinkitude makes him a little uneasy. 

So that's what I'm setting out to change.  I wanna make the world better for all of us!

Hey.  I love ya lots, Big People!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Because I'm HAPPY!

Scrappy-n-Happy on this Saturday!

Hiya, Big People!  Happy Saturday to you!

Hey, have you ever heard the song "Happy?"  I betchya you have, and depending on the mood you were in when you heard it, it was either a great song or a pernicious earworm.  I get it.  I've come to learn that not EVERYBODY is as happy as I am.  In fact, even I'm not as happy as I am all the time. 

Thing of it is, when I'm happy and in a buoyant mood, the upbeat musics just make me feel even happier and buoyant.  And when I'm not, I don't get annoyed by the happy musics.  I feel a little better because I know that my bad mood isn't going to last forever.  Sometimes, even, the happy musics make the clouds lift.

It's all how ya wanna look at things, Big People!  I wanna look at 'em through a happy lens and dance to the happy musics, so that's what I'm gonna do today!

No matter what mood you're in today, I love ya lots!  Remember that!  Muah!

It's Friday the Thirteenth!

I'm supposed to be superstitious today?

Hiya, Big People! 

Well, it's Friday the Thirteenth.  This is supposed to be a day where we avoid walkin' under ladders and breakin' mirrors and lettin' black cats cross our paths.  Because it's Friday the Thirteenth, and all those things are bad luck.

Why, though?  Well, I understand why it's bad luck to walk under a ladder.  It could fall over on top of you and hurt you, and that's bad luck.  So that's less a matter of superstition and more a matter of common sense, maybe.  Practicality. 

Also practical is the advisement not to break a mirror today, but not just today, but always!  Mirrors are sharp when they break!  And the little shards go EVERYWHERE! 

I don't understand why it's bad luck for a black cat to cross your path, though.  One of my best friends is a black cat named Buddy Cat, and it's GREAT luck whenever he crosses my path!  I just love that cat!  Also, I love all Fridays, even the ones that fall on the Thirteenth!

Don't get all drawn in to all this superstition stuff, Friends!  Be happy that it's Friday!  I love ya lots!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Eschew!

I'm more fluent in the language of the Big People than I am in Babese now!

No, I didn't sneeze, but thanks for saying 'bless you!'  I'll save it for later!

No, I said 'eschew,' because that's what I've done with my first language, Babese, in favor of the Language of the Big People.  I've realized over the last little bit of time that although when I was pretty brand-new, I used Babese exclusively, now that I'm a Big Little Kid, I hardly ever use Babese now.  I speak exclusively Big People. That's called "eschewing," giving up one thing for another.

At first, I was a little bit sad.  Speaking Babese was a big part of who I was when I was a baby.  But it could be frusterating when I had to talk to a Big Person who had long since forgotten how to speak Babese.  A lot of things were left up to interpretation and guessing, so as you can imagine, sometimes I got my diaper changed when what I really wanted was a snack.  Or I got put down for a nap when what I was asking for was a ride to the mall.

Now that I speak the Language of the Big People fluently, I can tell my Big People exactly what I want.  If they misinterpret, it's their fault!

You know, Friends, I really enjoyed my time as a baby. I really did.  But I'm not sad to be growin' up.  I'm not sad to hafta give up speakin' Babese.  I think that some pretty neat things are in store for me, now that I'm gettin' grown-up!

Hey, I love ya lots, Big People!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

I Get By With A Little Rest

It's easier to be sunny when you're well-rested!

Hiya, Friends! 

Well, ya know, you're gonna think I've been hacked, but I hafta tell ya, it's me, your very own pal Zoe.  But what I'm gonna say is shocking today.

Of course it is.  I have a complicated history with Sleep and Rest. I don't mind goin' to bed at night, to be sure.  But you know I usually resist my naps.  I hate to miss anything, and naps make me miss things. 

Thing of it is, I've been feelin' kinda ugly lately.  Just mean, mean, mean.  I've been mouthing back to Mommy and Daddy, but especially Mommy, and as you know, she blamed it on me watchin' the villains on PJ Masks.  Part of me thought maybe she was right, that maybe I was imitatin' the villains, because villains know how to get what they want, and they stand up for themselves, and I don't think those are unadmirable qualities.

But when I was in a Time-Out for tellin' Mommy she's ugly and I hate her and I wish she'd go live somewheres else, I really got to thinking about it, and I don't think that even the villains on PJ Masks would say those kindsa things to their Mommies. I got to thinking about why I was saying those things, and what I realized is that it had been quite a while since I had a good nap.

Sure enough, I got mouthy again, and Mommy took me up to my room for a nap.  I fought with her about it for a while, but then I fell asleep and something magical happened- when I woke up, I didn't feel quite so ugly anymore!  I didn't wanna tell Mommy she was ugly and that I wish she'd go live somewheres else!  It felt kinda good to have taken a nap!

So the next day, I took a nap, too, and woke up feelin' even more like myself!  I've been takin' a nap every day, and now I don't feel the least bit mean and ugly.  How about that?!  When Mommy and I have our differences, I get my point across with a withering look, but no name-calling!  No telling Mommy I wish she'd go live somewheres else!  (Besides, I think Mommy was starting to think going to live somewheres else sounded pretty good, given my attitude.)

Now I realize I'm a kid who still needs naps, and there's nothing wrong with that.  I'm glad I got to the bottom of this before I said something to get myself put in Time-Out until I leave for college!

When Good Television Goes Bad

I learn from ALL the television shows I watch!

Hiya, Friends! 

Well, ya know, I love my television shows.  Back in the day, I watched only Daniel Tiger and Sesame Street.  To this day, Mommy tries to limit my television watching to shows I learn from, like the Octonauts, which teaches me about sea creatures and teamwork, and Doc McStuffins, which teaches me about medicine in a way that I think is really engaging and age-appropriate, and Sheriff Callie's Wild West, which teaches me all kindsa things like how to get along with people, to bring a little bit of Nice-N-Friendly Corners to my necka the woods.  Then there's the life lessons from Curious George and The Berenstain Bears.

Heck, Mommy and I even agree on Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.  They do counting and colors and they work together on that show.

Thing of it is, some shows I wanna watch, and Mommy won't let me, because she says they don't have any learning value.

Namely, I'm mad because she won't let me watch a really great show called PJ Masks.  The PJ Masks are a group of kids who are superheroes in the night, and they work together as a team to solve problems.  It's VERY educational, actually.  But Mommy says I can't watch PJ Masks because the villains on the show are "snotty," and after I watch the show, I'm "snotty" like the villains on the show.

Huh.

I guess if that's true, I DO learn something from PJ Masks, so Mommy's all wet, thinking it isn't an educational show.  How about that?!

Sometimes you grownups make zero sense, anyways.  You want us to learn, but only the stuff you think we should learn.  It's so confusing, trying to please you Big People!  It really is!

I Like This November!

A kid could get used to this beautiful weather!

Hiya, Friends!  Happy Monday to you!

Well, ya know, I've been around for four Novembers, and this one's my fifth, and I've gotta say that weather-wise, this November beats the other Novembers, hands-down.

It's because while we enjoyed some snowless and mostly snowless Novembers those other years of my life, this year, we're also enjoying mostly blue skies and warm days.  Why, there have even been a few days this November that have felt positively summery!

I've taken up an exciting new hobby this November, too, Friends.  I have a real, honest-to-goodness scooter that I ride around.  You'll see pictures of me and my scooter in a few weeks.  It's so much fun!  Mainly, I ride inside my house, because I don't have any nice sidewalks to ride my scooter around on, here at home, but I've gotten to take it to town and ride on a basketball court, recently, and it's great!

Nice weather makes it easier to try new things, Big People!  I hope you use some of this Nice November Weather to try something new, too!  I sure love ya lots!  I'll be seein' ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Donut Dude's Downtown Drive Thru Donuttery

Welcome to Donut Dude's! I'm Zoe!  May I take your order?

Hiya, Friends!  Happy Sunday to you! 

Today, I'm helping out at Donut Dude's Downtown Drive Thru Donuttery, running the drive-thru itself!  It's a win-win situation for me and Donut Dude both, since it helps Donut Dude on a busy Sunday morning, and also because I get lots of inspiration for new donuts to develop.

Well, it's because I get to have in-person interactions with the people who purchase the donuts I develop.  Hearing what people like and what they don't goes a long way in inspiring me!

I don't mind hearing criticism on donuts I've developed in the past that maybe aren't selling as well as I thought they would.  Even though it might have taken me a lot of time and energy and creativity to develop a certain donut, if it just isn't working, I wanna hear about it, and I wanna know why it just didn't work out.  I'd rather know why people don't like a certain donut and be able to make them something they DO like, than keep holding on to something people think is weird.  Learning, that's called.

Anyway, Friends, it looks like it's about to get busy here at the Drive-Thru, so I'd better get my headset on and my thinkin' cap warmed up!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  I love ya lots!  Muah!

Humorous Healer Continuing Education

We're learnin' about insurance codes!

Hiya, Big People! 

Hey, now that I've graduated from Laughter is the Best Medical School, and I've completed my internship and residency and fellowship in Humorous Healing, and now that I'm an attending Doctor of Humorous Healing at St. Laffalotatus- Mercy-Mercy Hospital, I hafta do more school.

That's right.  Continuing Education.

Sometimes the Continuing Education truly is news I can use as I humorously heal my patients.  Updated and emerging technologies in Spirit Lift procedures, new techniques for getting patients to tell me what's really bothering them, ways to ensure that the Humorous Healing Department at the Hospital works like a well-oiled, humorous machine...

Then there are Continuing Eds that we go to and wonder why, as Doctors of Humorous Healing, we're sitting there, wondering why we're even at the Continuing Ed in question.  Today's Continuing Ed, for instance, is not only not really focused on practicing Humorous Healing, but it's boring as all get-out.  For some reason, the C.E. Department at the Hospital sent my colleagues and I to a C.E. about coding for our services.

I'm not saying that coding for our services isn't important.  In fact, there's a whole department that DOES that at St. Laffalotatus- Mercy-Mercy Hospital.  It's how we get paid by our patients' insurance companies, after all. But like I said.  There's a department fulla people who deal with that sort of thing. 

I'm kinda wondering if the C.E. orders didn't get mixed up.  I wonder if the coding and billing department didn't get sent to a doctors' C.E.  Because this isn't just "for your information" coding so that we doctors can make their lives easier in the billing department.  No.  This class seems geared toward someone who's quite well-versed in Humorous Healing Codes already, and from the questions that people besides me and my colleagues are asking, I feel like either we're at the wrong boring C.E., or we missed the first six years of this thing.

Either way, I've been thinking of a buncha new ways to do post-op care for surgical Spirit Lifts, so today wasn't a total bust.

Friends, I'll see ya tomorrow, and I love ya lots!  Muah!"

What if the Pool IS the Floatie?!

Imagine a pool in a pool in a Pool!

Hiya, Friends!  Happy Friday!

Hey, have you ever heard of an inflatable pool?

I'm on my second one.  Not because I popped my first inflatable pool, but because my first inflatable pool was my Mushroom Pool, which ended up bein' too small for me now, so I use it as a couch down in the gymnasium.

What?  I don't keep water in it!  It's fun to sit on an inflatable couch that used to be an inflatable pool!

Anyways, my new pool is so big I can swim in it, but it's small enough to fit on the gazebo.  It's the best of both worlds! But the thing that really gets me about the inflatable swimming pool is the big groupa possibilities it represents!

Why, for instance, since the pool is inflatable, it's possible that if I found an even larger inflatable pool, I could put my pool in the bigger inflatable pool, and put the pool within a pool into a big in-ground or above-ground pool.  Wouldn't it be epic to swim in an inflatable pool floating in another inflatable pool floating in a larger fixed-place pool?

No?

What if you were playing with an inflatable beach ball?

Still no?

I'm starting to think that I don't have much fun to look forward to when I grow up to be a Grownup, Big People!

Goodness!

I love ya lots, just the same, though!  I'll see ya tomorrow! Muah!

They Said It'd Never Last!

Summer: they said it'd never last!

Hiya, Big People!  It's me, your pal Zoe, and it's Thursday!  How the heck about that?!

Well, you know what?  It isn't Summertime anymore, but you wanna know what else?  This week, it's felt like summertime, the whole week!

That's right!  Temperatures in the seventies, stunning blue skies, nicey warm breezes...  This kid's been outside playing and not wearing a coat all week!

Why, it's almost as if it's still Summertime!  And they said it'd never last!

I think that Mother Nature owes us this much, Friends.  We had a COLD Winter, and it felt like it was January, well into March.  These nicey warm days sure can stick around for a little while, right, Friends?

And today's going to be just as nice, so I hope you can get out there and enjoy it!  I love ya lots, Friends!

I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

This Idea I Had

It was a really, really good idea, too!

Hiya, Big People!  Happy Wednesday to you! 

My goodness, it's good to see you!  I know I just saw you yesterday, but it seems like so long ago! 

You know, I thought about bumping up production on The Daily Zoe Blog to a couple-three times a day, so I don't hafta know you're missing me so much!

But when I ran the idea past my team- you know, my Captain of Capitalization, my Grammar Guru, my Content Collaborator, my Salton of Sentences, my Chief Paragraph Officer, and my Chief Formatting Officer, you shoulda seen the look on their faces. 

That was pretty much the beginning, middle, and end of The Daily Zoe Blog comin' atchya a couple-three times a day. However, if you think it's a great idea you probably should send a message to my team.  How about that?!

I love ya lots, Friends!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Post-Halloween Season Day Three!

Time to update your Wish Lists!

Hiya, Big People!  How's your Post-Halloween Season going so far?

Since it's the third day of Post-Halloween Season, I've come to remind you that now is the perfect time to update your Wish Lists in preparation for Christmas Shopping Season!

It's really an act of kindness for your friends-n-family, you know.  That way they know just what'chyer lookin' for in the line of Christmas presents.  You're not makin' your loved ones guess. 

The first thing you do when you update your Wish List is go through and take off everything that no longer resonates with you, whether you've outgrown those items, or you just don't want 'em anymore.

That's the worky part.  Now's the fun part!

Now, all's you do is go through your daily online browsing, and you just click the "add to wish list" button, and you're good to go!

There you have it!  Friends, this isn't something you wanna put on the back burner for long, otherwise, you could wind up with another coffee mug or some socks or something. 

Get crackalackin', Friends!  I'll check in with ya tomorrow, mmmmkay?!  I love ya lots!  Muah!

My Favorite Thing About Post-Halloween Season

Friends, the Christmas Toy Ads are back with a vengeance, and I love it!

Well, hiya, Big People!  How are you today?  Didja have a wonderful Halloweekend?

Sorry about that.  I couldn't resist. 

But I'll tell ya what.  All Halloween Season long, I was pretty much dying to use the word "Spooktacular," because I think it's fun and clever to mash up the words "spooky" and "spectacular" in such a way, but I understand that the more curmudgeonly of you Big People (namely Mommy) get angry when "Spooktacular" comes out. 

Not that I'm afraid of a little grown-up ire, but here's the thing: Halloween Season is interestingly placed just before Pre-Christmas Season, and every Little Kid knows it's unwise to tempt the Big People's tempers during Pre-Christmas Season, so I decided to forego the gratuitous use of the word "Spooktacular" in the interest of amassing some goodwill among the Big People going into Pre-Christmas Season.

That brings me to the whole point of today's post, Friends: my favorite thing about the Post-Halloween Season!  Post-Halloween Season is really Pre-Christmas Season, and the toy ads have really ramped up in frequency and awesomeness!  I just love it!  I want one of everything, and now Mommy has to honor my requests to flesh out my Amazon Wishlist!  How about that?!

So buckle up, Big People!  Pre-Christmas Season is upon us, and your little pal Zoe is riding a wave of sugary enthusiasm, coming off Halloween!  Wheeeeeeeee!

I'll see ya tomorrow, Friends!  I love ya lots!  Muah!

A Peeled Grape with Ears

I can be a smiley peeled grape with ears!

You know what, Friends?  Sometimes, Mommy gets it all up in her head to slick all my hair back outta my face and stick a pony tail holder in it, in the name of keepin' my hair out of my face. 

I don't care much for my hair configured in this configuration, on accounta it makes me look like a peeled grape with ears.  This is where I direct your attention to the picture of me at the left, and you say "You're right, Zoe, you DO look like a peeled grape with ears with your hair like that, but if anybody can carry off the look, it's you!"

And for that heartfelt sentiment, I thank you from the bottom of my feet.  I really do.

I'm not gonna let lookin' like a peeled grape with ears take away my smile, Friends.  I'm not gonna let it take away my snap.

I love ya lots, Friends!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!