Shelves Without Elves

No elves on my shelves! I prefer my shelves elfless!

Hiya, Friends! 

You know, it's the holiday season, and all you Grownups are tryin' to devise ways to keep Little Kids like me in line.  It's come to my attention that you've even enlisted the help of little spy-elves who station themselves on shelves in Little Kids' houses, and then trek back to the North Pole overnight to fill Santa Claus in on all the things the Little Kid does during the day.

I think this is a low-down, sneaky thing to do to a Little Kid, Big People!  Our lives are difficult enough, without having a little tattle-taling elf in our midst, filing a report every time we behave in sucha way that you Grownups deem unfit for the Holiday Season.

Also, it's a wee bit of a double standard, don'tchya think? 

Bear with me. 

Take complaining, for instance.  A Little Kid complaint would light up the Elf on a Shelf's tattling receptors and there'd be a report on the "bad" behavior filed so fast it'd make its little elvish head spin.  But what aboutchyoo Big People?  I don't suppose you EVER complain?

What about gettin' tired and bein' contrary.  Behavior such as this would have a Little Kid sent straight to time-out, and a report filed by the Elf on a Shelf.  But you Grownups never get tired and cranky and contrary and uncooperative?  Does anybody file reports on YOU with Santa Claus?

Nope! 

In the end, all we Little Kids want is to have our voices be heard.  We wanna be listened to.  Just like you.  We don't need a spying elf ratting us out to Santa Claus.  Besides, I think the Big Man at the North Pole understands us Little Kids a lot better than you think he does, and he certainly understands us a lot better than you Big People do, sometimes!  How about that?!

I am proud to say that my shelves will be without elves this holiday season!  I love ya just the same, though, Big People!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!