The Elves on Shelves Respond!

I stand beside, behind, and in front of yesterday's blog post, Big People!

Hiya, Big People!  Happy Tuesday to you!

You know, I can hardly swing an opinion by the tail around here on this blog without it hittin' somebody and gettin' 'em all up in arms, and my opinion on the Elves on Shelves is no exception.

Well, you know, the Elves on Shelves go all up in arms because they think I was minimizing what they do because I don't understand the importance of what they do.  So I asked them to clarify the importance of what they do.

Basically, what it boiled down to is that their department at the North Pole was about to be cut, and Santa Claus was going to put them out on the production floor with other elves, and the Elves on Shelves decided to go out into the homes of Little Kids and show Santa Claus just how important their "behavior control" is to his operations.  And the Elves on Shelves Intelligence Agency just ballooned.  Their work is important to them because they've convinced Big People with Little Kids that their work is important.

I telephoned my good friend Santa Claus and asked HIM about the Elves on Shelves, and you wanna know what he told me?  He told me that they'd be more useful if they were up at his workshop, on the production floor, than being ornamental in Little Kids' homes, and furthermore, it kinda annoys him whenever an Elf on a Shelf reports to him moderately bad behavior that could be managed by a Parental Unit and would not make a significant difference in the status of the Little Kids Naughty or Nice List positioning.  Santa Claus says that if the Elves on Shelves could restrict themselves to reporting actual naughty behavior, such as being mean to animals, being mean to other little kids, setting the house on fire, and big things like that, they'd be moderately useful, even though Santa Claus knows about all that stuff anyways, without the reports.  He says that the constant reports that little Johnny refuses to eat his peas or Jenny flushed too much toilet paper down the toilet and clogged it all up are a different kind of matter entirely and have no business being on a Naughty or Nice Report.  In fact, Santa Claus says that he wishes that the Elves on Shelves would change their punitive focus and send him reports on when Little Kids are behaving exceptionally, doing super-nice things for others, being extra-helpful around the house for the sake of being extra-helpful around the house. 

So.  My opinion on the Elves on Shelves stands.  And they are not welcome in my house. How about that?!