Elfsworth the Elf

I caught an Elf on a Shelf, Friends!

Well, hiya, Big People!  Happy Sunday to you! 

I have exciting news!  While I haven't stopped the Elves on Shelves from spying on me against my will and sending Santa Claus false Naughty Reports on me, I did catch their leader: Elfsworth the Elf.  I caught him on Friday in my Elves on Shelves Trap. 

I've gotta tell ya, Elfsworth is not very happy to be my guest, but he's in a comfortable yet confining cell.  He's being treated well.  He gets hoagies and fizzy drinks when he's hungry and thirsty.  I also let him have water, too, because too many fizzy drinks aren't good for anybody.  I might even let Elfsworth have some Lucky Charms cereal or something, once he quits bein' so sore at me for catching him in my trap.

I'm not mean to Elfsworth, Big People.  But I'm not gonna be his friend.  No way, no how.  He's kind of a jerk, that Elfsworth. 

I've already told Santa Claus that I caught Elfsworth, and Santa is gonna pick him up on his way through, Thursday night.  And if I catch any more Elves on Shelves, I'll take care of 'em until Thursday night, too.  The more Elves on Shelves I can trap and keep out of the espionage business for the rest of the Christmas season, the smoother things'll go for Santa Claus and for me, and for all other Little Kids who've spoken out against the Elves on Shelves and felt the backlash.

Hey.  I'll see ya tomorrow, Friends!  I love ya lots.  Muah!