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Thursday, December 24, 2015

A Mole Revealed

Who needs a mole when you have Christmas Mouse?
Friends, I'm happy that it's Christmas Eve, but I've gotta tell ya something. 

You know all about my recent rash of hostility between me and the Elves on Shelves, and I'm sure you're aware of all the trouble I went through to quell the bogus Naughty Reports the Elves were submitting about me to the North Pole Behavior Reporting System this Holiday Season. 

For a while, it seemed as though the Elves on Shelves were one step ahead of me, constantly, and I wondered if I were that easy to figure out, or if the Elves on Shelves just have some kind of strange Elvish pre-cognition or something, that allowed them to know exactly which moves I planned to make before I even knew I planned to make them!

No.  They had help.  They had help in the form of Christmas Mouse, with whom I already had something of a shaky friendship after Christmas Mouse ate the last hunka XXX Sharp Cheddar Cheese on the day after Thanksgiving.  I figured out the treachery of that big-eared, needle-nosed, skinny-tailed rodentine rat when I came down with a cold and couldn't go to Gramma's for a week.  Suddenly, not only did I find equal footing with the Elves on Shelves in our battle, but I found myself outflanking them.

Hmmmm.

Turns out Christmas Mouse was slipping the Elves valuable intelligence he'd overhear me planning with my staunch allies at Gramma's house, whose identities I will protect.

Well, I'll tell ya what.  Tonight, Santa's picking up the Elves on Shelves I captured and he's taking them home to the North Pole.  And when I get to Gramma's house tomorrow, Christmas Mouse and I are going to have an uncomfortable conversation.  Uncomfortable for Christmas Mouse, anyways. 

Merry Christmas Eve, Friends Who Didn't Rat Me Out to the Elves on Shelves this Holiday Season!  I love ya lots!  Muah!

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