Sitting A Mile on Their Shelf

Sitting in for an Elf on the Shelf for a day.

Hiya, Big People!  Happy Wednesday to you!

Well, you know, I seem to have a flair for schuschelling up drama wherever I go, and this thing with the Elves on Shelves has escalated to a full-on Thing.

As it turns out, the Elves on Shelves submitted a Naughty Report to Santa Claus about ME, even though there has never been an Elf on a Shelf spying on me in my house, so far as I know.  Now, Santa Claus doesn't have TIME for this kinda thing, and he told the Elves so, but they want me to stop my anti-Shelf Elf rhetoric, and they told Santa Claus that they're going to submit Naughty Reports about me, every morning until Christmas, unless I stop.  Santa Claus can't just ignore the reports, lest it look like I'm getting preferential treatment, so every time a Naughty Report comes through, he has to review it and decide how to proceed.

However, the Elves on Shelves said if I sat a mile on their shelf, so I could understand how difficult and important their jobs are, they'd think about bombarding Santa Clause with their Naughty Reports.  Santa Claus told me that if I sat on a shelf for a day, he would disregard any Naughty Reports about me from the Elves on Shelves.

I'm not completely heartless, Friends, so I agreed to it, to save Santa Claus a headache. 

So here I am.  Sitting a mile on the shelf of a Shelf Elf.  Sure.  I see some weird stuff, and I hear some juicy gossip, but this is NOT a difficult job that the Elves on Shelves do, Big People.  They just sit and watch and tattle.  That's the beginning, middle, and end of it.  It's so simple that a four-year-old could do it!

I will say, though, Friends, that my bottom gets numb, sitting there still, all day! For that, the Elves on Shelves have my sympathy, but I still think they're unnecessary, and expressing my opinion does not make me naughty, Friends, no matter what the Elves on Shelves say!  How about that?!