Tractor-Tractor

Hiya, Friends! Zoe here, reporting from the tractor!

Friends, have I told you lately how much I love the tractor?  If I have, I apologize for repeating myself.  But I really, really love the tractor.  It can do so many neat things!

Well, for instance, it can mow the lawn and plow the snow out of the driveway.  It can move and smooth gravel and dirt!  It can push or pull over trees!  It can carry heavy things.  It can lift up heavy things.  It can pull a wagon or a trailer (Not my Little Red Wagon!)!  It can push dirt around!

Safety's important! Buckle up and protect your ears!

Plus, it's just fun to ride around on!

It's hard for me to quantify just what's the best thing about my tractor, because there are so many things I love about it.  It's one of those gems that's fun to use AND super-useful!

I don't know when, exactly, it was that I started really liking the tractor.  I think it's always been this way.  I think I was just born to love the tractor.  You see, nobody said "Zoe, you oughtta think the tractor's cool!"  Nope!  I thought that, all on my own!  One day, I heard its engine, and saw this brilliant-looking orange vehicle go by, and I was just in love with it!  I wanted to find out everything I could about it!

Be careful leaving the garage!

I do practice safety when I'm on the tractor.  For starters, I always, ALWAYS buckle up.  Next, I put on a pair of earphones.  They keep the sharp sound from hurting my ears.  And, they look cool.  Looking cool isn't EVERYTHING, but it's a nice bonus to have when you're protecting your hearing, anyway!

It's important to be really careful when driving something like the tractor!  You've gotta be on the lookout for people, animals, and things at all times.  You don't wanna run into anybody or anything!  You definitely don't! 

So, I love the tractor, and I love being safe on the tractor.  I really do.  When I drive the tractor*, I just love to think about things and stuff.  I get a lot of thinkin' done when I drive the tractor.  I get a lot of movin' stuff done, too! 

Hey!  The tractor helps me multi-task, Friends!  How about that?!

*Psssst, Friends- I only get to drive the tractor in my imagination.  For one thing, my legs are still too short to reach the pedals, and for the other thing, I'm TWO.  My Mommy would never just let me drive the tractor all by myself!  I could get hurt!  Imagination tractor rides are the best, though!  So it's all okay!  Okay!  Zoe out!

My Li'l Red Wagon!

Sabretooth and Rhoda went for a test-ride for me!

Hi, Friends!  Recently, I inherited my Mommy's Little Red Wagon from when she was a little kid.  It was all rusty, so Daddy took the old paint off and put new paint on, and made sure all the metal things holding it together were sound.  Mommy cut up an old yoga mat to put in the bottom, so I could have a slip-free, cushioned ride.  It's pretty swanky.  I like the idea of a Little Red Wagon!

Riding in the Little Red Wagon, though.  That's something to get used to.  It isn't like riding in my other things with wheels, like my stroller, or my car seat that buckles in to the car.  The wagon doesn't have things to buckle me in, and the sides don't go up very far, so at first, it felt kind of weird and scary for me, just riding along.

I wasn't sure I liked that. It freaked me out a little bit.  I'm not going to lie!

I love these two!

Lucky for me, I have good friends like Sabretooth and Rhoda.  They said they'd ride in the wagon first, and I could walk alongside them and see how safe it is, and how much fun they had.  And it did look like a lot of fun for Rhoda and Sabretooth.  It did!

They rode around and around the house in the Little Red Wagon, and I walked beside them.  I got a lot of exercise!  Every so often, they'd ask me if I wanted to ride, and I just wasn't ready yet.  You know?  Riding in a wagon is kind of a big deal.  I just wanted to make sure I wouldn't come tumbling out of it, or that it wouldn't flip over!

I wouldn't have had to worry, though.  Daddy's a great wagon driver, and a great wagon fixer-upper!  Finally, 'Tooth and Rhoda talked me in to riding in the wagon, so I got all situated on the orange yoga mat on the wagon floor, and got all comfortable, and then Daddy took me for a spin.

This kind of makes me feel like a queen!

Well, Sabretooth and Rhoda were right.  My Little Red Wagon is comfy, and it's neat to roll along, just above the ground, and see out.  My stroller is more secure, but I don't have three-hundred-sixty-degree visibility like I do in the wagon. 

I guess some day, I'll be able to pull my wagon around.  Right now, it's a little bit much for me to handle.  I mean, I COULD do it, but I'm having fun being a passenger in my wagon.  You know what I mean, Big People?  There'll be lotsa time for me to pull the wagon around.  Lotsa time.

So for now, Sabretooth, Rhoda, and I are having a great time going for rides in the wagon.  We take along other friends of ours, too.  We can fit a LOT of us in the Little Red Wagon, and you know how it is, Friends.  The more the merrier!

The Company Musical

Dean O. and I are headed to musical auditions!

Hiya, Friends!  Well, at my job, the Fun Committee's been at it again, coming up with all kindsa fun things to make working more fun.  There was the recent Win, Lose, or Draw tournament.  We had some chair races a few weeks ago.  My Chief of Transportation, Dean O. stood in for my chair, since I don't have a wheelie chair, and we won the chair races. 

It was probably cheating, but sometimes, I do work when Dean O. and I are out for a ride, going somewhere, so he said he could be considered a chair for the races.

Anyway.  Back to the other hijinx the Fun Committee's been up to.  Now, they're putting together a company musical.  It's "Las Vegas: The Musical!!!"  I don't know what it's about, or what songs are part of the musical.  All I know is that I want to be in the musical. 

At first, I tried out for a spot in the chorus line.  If I'd have gotten that spot, I woulda gotten to wear a fancy costume with a big, feathery headdress, and lotsa sequins!  Oh!  It sounded like so much fun!

Maybe we'll get to be in a scene together, Dean O.!

But there were high kicks involved, Friends!  And high-heely shoes.  High-heely shoes to be worn during the high-kicks!  Can you believe it?!

It all made me re-think wanting a spot in the chorus line.  It really did.  It made me re-think wanting a spot in the company musical, period.

And then I saw the costumes for the Giant Slot Machines.  They're these big boxes, like refrigerator-box size, and they have a pull-arm on one side, and lights that light up, and reels to make different symbols come up on the front, depending on whether or not anybody's won the jackpot.  And people get to sit inside 'em.  The slot machines have a song and dance number all their own, but the people inside don't hafta come out!  They'll just ride around on dollies, kinda like a parade float!

I had originally thought that the slot machines also wouldn't have to sing, but I was wrong.  There's a song that the slot machines sing, but there's microphones and such, so the people inside can be heard.  I found that out at my audition.

But.  I got a part.  I'm gonna be Slot Machine Number Lucky Seven!  And Dean O. gets to drive me around during the big song and dance number, so it'll be just like regular, except I'll be inside the giant slot machine costume!

We're pretty thrilled.  Our other coworkers are in the musical, too!  Pinki got a part in the chorus line, and I'm so happy for her!  She's so fabulous, and the high-kicks are right up her alley!  Rhoda's going to be Tourist from Peoria #3.  Remember the flap Rhoda and I had over her tacky outfit the other day? Well, it turns out that she came to work in-character for her audition!  And she got the part!  Hooray!!!  And Rozzie's going to be the lion that sits in front of the MGM Grand.  Sabretooth's a Cirque du Soleil performer! 

I got a part!  I'm Slot Machine Lucky #7!

They're just some of my friends in the musical with me!  We all got parts in the company musical, and everybody's so excited!

You know what I'm really excited about, Friends?  I'm really excited about getting to be part of something fun and cool that my company is doing.  Sure, we all work together every day, but this is getting to see another side, and another set of talents from everybody.  That's so exciting!

I'm also excited that I won't hafta wear high heelies, do high kicks, and wear a crazy headdress that weighs as much as I do.  I'm extra-excited that I get to sit inside the giant slot machine and eat snacks during the show if I wanna.  That'll be our little secret, Friends!  Don't tell on me!  Shhhhh!

I love ya!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

The This!!! : A Quick Lesson in Zolish!

Zozie ridin' in the the THIS! Playin' with the the THIS!

Hiya, Friends!  You know, it seems crazy, but it's true.  I haven't been verbalizing for very long.  I mean, I'm an excellent speaker when I write.  I guess you could say I'm good at writing.  At the actual speaking, I sometimes sound like a neophyte. 

It's true!  Sometimes, I have my own way of saying things.  For instance, if you hear me say "Zozie goin' for a ride in the the THIS!" it means I'm ("Zozie") going for a ride in whatever "the this" is.  "The This" can be the Jeep or the truck or my wagon or an Imaginatron 2100.  I substitute "The This" for anything I can't think right away what the word is for the object I'm referring to.

Zozie standin' on the the THIS!

You might have noticed I said "Zozie goin' for a ride in the the this!" with two the's right next to each other.  You might have assumed it was a typo or a speako.  It isn't.  You see, I realize how the word "the" works.  Thing of it is, the the immediately in front of what I'm talking about is part of "This."  The first the is the article, functioning as the article.

Have I made your head explode yet?

It really isn't that difficult, Friends.  I mean, if it were, I wouldn't be using this particular speech construction.  If you practice it with me, you'll be a pro at this particular Zolish construction in no time:

Say you're holding in your hand a jar that's kind of hard to open.  A pickle jar, to be exact.  You want a pickle, and your Mommy and Daddy aren't paying any attention to you.  You try to get the lid off the pickle jar, and finally, having had enough fruitless trying, you shout: "Open the the this!  Pickle!"

Your Mommy and Daddy will see that you got into the fridge and got out the pickle jar, and will they ever come running to open the the this for you!

Or, you're helping your Mommy on the weekly run-through clean of your house.  You're dusting the coffee table, and you want your Mommy to notice you're helping, so you say, "Mommy!  Zozie cleanin' the the this!"

If that doesn't get you a liminaliminal cookie, I don't know what will!

I'll see ya tomorrow, Friends!  I love ya!  Muah!

Poppin' the Bubbly!

No, I'm not too little for the bubbly!

Friends, I know I have a lot of favorite things, and I understand that my enthusiasm for my favorite things can get tiresome to some types of people.  To those people, I offer my sincerest apologies, but I'm not gonna change me.  Nope!  It's just how I am, and I like me this way.

So with that being said, allow me to converse about one of my favorite things: celebrating!  I love to celebrate the big and small alike, things like Major Eating Holidays, birthdays, Sabres wins, excellent checkups at my doctor's, finding my other pink cowgirl boot, cleaning up my office, learning a new word, learning a new color...

Well, you get the idea, Friends.  I love to celebrate.  And when I celebrate, I love to pop the bubbly.  That's right.

What's that? ... I'm too little for bubbly?  You think I'd drop my fancy bubbly glass and break it?  You're surprised I even like it, because it tastes like fizzy vinegar?

 Oh! We were talkin' about two different bubblies!

 

Friends, what are you talkin' about?  You don't taste bubbly, and even if you did, and I'm not saying I did, but maybe I did because how else would I know, but if you tasted bubbly, you'd find it tastes like plastic, not fizzy vinegar. Furthermore, bubbly doesn't come in a fancy glass.  It comes in sheets, and is usually wrapped around breakable stuff we get in the mail!

... Yeah!  I'm talking about bubbly wrap!  What are YOU talking about? ...  Champagne?  Oh, I see your original point, then, Friends.  I AM too little for champagne, and that's okay with me.  I probably wouldn't like it very much.  I like the crackers they served up at Dr. Frank's, though, while my Big People were tasting champagne.  They were good crackers!  Nice 'n' hearty, like I like 'em!

Anyway, since we're now on the same page, I'll continue talking about how I love to celebrate by popping the bubbly.  I grab a sheet and just start pinching the little bubbles.  It's so much fun to hear them go "POP!" but I also like to feel the pop between my fingertips.  It's always kind of a surprise, when each little bubble finally decides to just go POP!

 

 

Whether you celebrate with your bubbly or my bubbly, celebrate everything in life, Friends!

I think that's what adds to the festiveness of the bubbly, Friends!  You just never know when it's gonna POP or go "WOOOOHOOOOO!"  You just never do!

Celebrating makes life a lot more fun, Friends.  Have you ever noticed that?  It does.  So here's my thing.  Whether you celebrate with the bubbly you Big People drink, or you celebrate with bubbly wrap like I do, the important thing is that you should celebrate everything in life, mmmmmkay, Friends?!  There's a lot to pop the bubbly over!  There really is!

I'll see ya tomorrow, Friends!  I love ya!  Muah!

Practicing Gratitude

Just taking a pause and being grateful!

Hiya, Friends!

Well, whether you know it or not, I'm a lucky kid.  It doesn't matter, really, whether or not you know it.  What's important is that I know I'm a lucky kid.  And I do.  I'm grateful for my life and all the wonderful people, puppies, and Little Giraffes in it. 

So, I've been practicing gratitude.  You know, acknowledging how good I have it, not taking it for granted, being thankful for my life and everything that I have.

It feels really good, you know, Friends.  It's a lot like counting your blessings.  When you're listing off all the good things, it's impossible to be all grumbly, because you realize even though you thought there wasn't much to be thankful for, as it turns out, there's LOTS to be thankful for!

It's easy, once you know how, Friends!

I guess what started all this Attitude of Gratitude is that I recently had some more responsibility heaped on my at work.  If you follow The Daily Zoe on the Facebook, you'll know what I'm talking about.  Besides doing The Daily Zoe, and the rest of my job responsibilities, now I'm also a traffic reporter.  I hafta report the traffic.  In a way, it's exciting, but in another way, it's kind of irritating.  I mean, how many times can you say "Be on the lookout for heavy Amish activity in the area of the 1013, and slow down and watch for Motorcycles  and deer along the 1010?"  I realize things might get more interesting come winter, but nobody's ready for winter, even me and my neat purple coat, and the traffic reports are just one more thing.

But then I step back and think about what it is that's really got me all tied up in knots.  It isn't the traffic report.  Not really.  I think it's that doing the traffic reports seems like such a daunting task, and I'm afraid I'm gonna mess it all up.  I think that's what's got me bothered.

So I'm doing what I do when I get to feeling Stuck like this, Friends.  I stop and think about things.  I drop whatever I'm doing (or put it down carefully if it's something breakable!).  And finally, I just practice being grateful!

When you're grouchy, stop, drop, and practice gratitude!

I guess you could say it's kind of a take on the old "Stop, Drop, and Roll!"  If you substitute "Practice Being Grateful" out and sub in "Get on a Roll, Being Grateful!"

I'll need to workshop the wording, before I go putting any of that on a poster, Friends.  I realize that.  I know it.  The important thing isn't slick wording or bold graphics, though.  The important thing is just counting my blessings, being grateful for all of 'em. 

Think about it, Friends!  Do you need to Stop, Drop, and Get on a Roll, Being Grateful?  If you do, come along with me!  We'll practice together! 

Even with gratitude, practice makes perfect! How about that?!

I love ya, Friends!  I'll see ya tomorrow! Muah!

When Someone You Love Wears Something You Don't

I don't know what I'm sorrier about...

Oh, boy, Friends, have I ever let my mouth get me in a dilly of a pickle.  I think I've mentioned before how Toddlers tend not to have that wall between what we think and what we say, the way most Big People do. 

Okay.  Here's what I did.  My friend Rhoda came to work the other day looking like she got dressed by riding a zipline through a clothesline.   

You know how much I love Rhoda, and how very little I can internally filter what I say, so I blurted out "Holy camel Rhoda, whatcha got on your body?  Didja get dressed in the pitch DARK?!"

I felt bad, the minute it came outta my mouth.  I did, Friends.  And unfortunately, Rhoda felt bad the minute it came outta my mouth.  I mean, the outfit was truly awful.  It did nothing good for her.  But I don't know if I shoulda said anything.

I was so sorry. 

Thing of it is, I was not sure what I'm sorrier about: saying what I said, or that Rhoda wore that awful outfit the other day.

...Saying what I said or that Rhoda wore that outfit.

No, I know which.  I'm sorry I said it.  I really am.  When you love someone, it isn't worth offending them, even if your aesthetic sensibilities are offended.  Deeply offended. 

I realize that now, Friends.  I do.  After the fact.  Or maybe I realized it during the fact.  The point is, Friends, it's really important to make sure that wall between what you think and what you say is really strong, and that the door in that wall is a real door and not a curtain.  That way, you can think what an awful outfit or hairdo that is, but you DON'T say it!  Or maybe if you think you're being helpful, suss out whether or not you think your friend is really proud of their outfit first, before you offer up any constructive criticism.

Wait.  I have a better idea.

Yeah, Rhoda and I are friends again. And I learned a lesson!

Instead of offering unsolicited sartorial advice, wait for them to ask.  If they ask "How do I look in this?" or "How do you like my outfit?" then maybe it's okay to say something.  And even then, maybe you oughtta say "How do you think you look?" or "How do YOU like it?"  And if they say "I think I look great!  This is an awesome outfit!" and it isn't exposing things that hadn't oughtta be exposed, or your friend isn't in danger of being a danger to herself or others, maybe the best thing to do is just smile and say "You are my very good friend and I love you!  Now let's go get donuts."

That way, you don't even run the risk of hurting your friend's feelings.  And someday, in the future, if they see a picture of themselves in the outfit, or maybe they see themselves in a different mirror, and they say "Why'd you let me go out looking like that?!" you can just smile and say "You are my very good friend and I love you!  Now let's go get donuts.  I'm buyin'!"

That's how I'm gonna handle the sitch next time, Friends!  As for me and Rhoda, we're okay again.  There were some words said, some tears shed, and lotsa huggin'.  But we're better.  We're heading out for some donuts.  And Bambinoccinos.  I'm buyin'.  So I'll see ya tomorrow, Friends!  I love ya!  Muah!