Wednesday, August 31, 2016

It Really Floated My Boat!

Step aside, Big People! I've got my life vest on and have some serious boatin' to do!
Hiya, Big People!  Happy Wednesday to you!

I don't know if you remember this or not, but when I was on my VacLAKEtion, I learned how to drive a boat, and to be honest with ya, I'm really good at it!

I don't know what it is about drivin' a boat, Friends, but I felt so alive, feelin' the power of that pontoon boat, cutting through the waters of Seneca Lake.  There's just something about the roar of that dang ol' engine as the propeller gurgles through the water.

You know, Friends, I got so I was really good at doin' donuts in the pontoon boat, crossin' my own wake. 

I really think that I was meant to drive a boat, Friends! 

Hey.  I love ya lots!  I'll be seein' ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Nobody Expects a Tutu-Wearin' Jedi Ninja!

I'm a Tutu-Wearin' Jedi Ninja!
Hiya, Big People!  How are you today?  It's Tuesday, and I couldn't be more excited about that!

Hey, did you know that I'm training to be a Tutu-Wearin' Jedi Ninja?  It's true.  Tutu-Wearin' Jedi Ninjas are the super-stealthy arm of the Jedis.  I can tell you, Friends, because I know you'll keep my secret.  And also, they don't get this version of the internet in a galaxy far, far away, where I do my Jedi Ninja-ing.

But why do the super-stealthy arm of the Jedis wear tutus?  Well, would YOU suspect that somebody like me, who loves frills and tutu-skirts and sparkles and unicorns and Barbie dolls and pretty cars, is, in actuality, a fierce, light-saber-wielding Jedi warrior?

Of course you wouldn't. 

And neither do the Bad Guys. 

I mean, even if somebody has an idea that I might be some kind of warrior, it still takes 'em aback to see me in action, with all my frills and ruffles and sparkliness, working so harmoniously with my mad light-saber skillz. 

So you can sleep easier tonight, Friends!  There are lots more Tutu-Wearin' Jedi Ninjas like me out there, keepin' the universe safe from the Bad Guys.

I love ya lots, Friends!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Monday, August 29, 2016

Pool Guard Zoe!

Hark!  Who goes there?  Not you, 'cause you aren't the Q!
Hiya, Friends!  Happy Monday to you!

Well, ya know, I'm a kid of many talents.  Many different skills.  Some of my skills, I'm better at than others, but the skills I call my own are many and varied. 

You bet they are!

One of my lesser-known skills is being an extraordinary Pool Guard.  Not the kind of pool guard that has a life ring that they throw to people who swam too soon after they eat and get a cramp in the water. 

Nope.  I'm the kind of Pool Guard that keeps all the balls on a pool table in line.  I guard against the scratch.  I guard against gettin' too close to the sides of the table.  I guard against a great shot bein' ruined because the 8-ball is in the way.

How do I do it, you ask?  Well, I'll tell ya.  If something's in the way, I just reach up, grab it, and move it to a more convenient or safer location. Boom.  Got a problem, yo, I'll solve it!

I really don't know why you Big People didn't think of that, actually.  You make things so much harder than they need to be.  But it's okay.  I sure do love ya lots, Friends.  I'll be seein' ya tomorrow.  In the meantime, I've got some pool to guard!


Sunday, August 28, 2016

Nowhere To Go

I look forlorn because my fun's waning for the weekend!
Why, hello, Friends!  Happy Sunday to you!

Boyo Boy, I'll tell ya what.  I have had an exciting weekend!  Friday night, I got to go to that magical old-timey amusement park called Eldridge Park, and yesterday, Daddy took me to a carnival-n-carshow!  It was a super, ultra, mega-blast!

I loved seeing all the rides lit up for night.  I loved the way the air was heavy with the smells of carnival food. 

I think what makes me feel so sad right now is that I don't have anything fun planned for today.  Sure, Mommy's sayin' we get to go pick up another shelf-and-bin system for my office, now that the Reading Nest has moved downstairs.  But there's nothing fun about organization, Friends. 

There's everything fun about Tilt-a-Whirls and Merry Mixers, though.  And Midway Games. 

I'm averse to the shelf-and-bin system, because that represents more work and less fun for me.  Your pal Zoe.  And I'm anti anything that's anti-fun to that degree.

Friends, I know my fun will rebound sometime, but the prospects aren't lookin' good for the next few days, anyways. 

I love ya lots, and I'll be seein' ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Saturday, August 27, 2016

Old School Amusement Parks!

There's just something about a nice, old-timey amusement park!
Hiya, Big People!  Happy Saturday to you!

Well, ya know, yesterday, I had to help my folks go pick up our Jeep after its air suspension really let us down last weekend. 

It was quite a heck of a trip!  We got to eat supper in a restaurant, which you know is my Favorite, any restaurant.

And then. 

We went to an old-timey amusement park called Eldridge Park in Elmira!  I've been there before, but not when the rides were open.  It's so cool with the rides open! 

I'm in love with the place!  It was love at first sight!

I got to ride a Merry-Go-Round that's the fastest Merry-Go-Round I've ever been on in my LIFE!  I LOVE that Merry-Go-Round, because from what I understand, it usedta live in Eldridge Park, and then Eldridge Park closed, and the carousel ended up getting sold off. And then a few years ago, a buncha people got together and put their moneys together, and brought the carousel home.  I noticed that different people sponsor the carousel animals.  That's really cool, I think!

Then, Mommy and I rode a ride called the Thunderbirds, but Mommy calls 'em sail-planes.  It was the most intense ride I have ever been on in my whole entire life!  Friends, it's this plane that goes around and around, and Mommy was swinging the sail like a rudder, and it made our plane go sideways and high and low.  It was so much fun!  We rode that TWICE!

Then I rode a turtle-chase, and a horse-cart ride, and we rented a dragon boat for 20 minutes, and Mommy was tryin' to agitate the geese in the pond and make 'em fly away.  It didn't work.

We closed out our time at Eldridge Park with another trip on the carousel. 

I think that what really resonated with me, Friends, was the old-timey feel of the place.  We didn't hafta pay to park.  We didn't hafta pay to get in.  We bought old-school ride tickets.  It wasn't all slick and made-up.  It was the real deal, Big People!

I really hope they make a go of it at Eldridge Park, Friends!  I hope they bring back the midway games and cotton candy and everything.  I love that place!

If you haven't been there yet, you should go, Big People!  I love ya lots!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Friday, August 26, 2016

I'm Still New Around Here!

I'm not perfect, but I'm doing my best, every day.  I'm still new here!
Hiya, Big People!  Happy Friday to you! 

Well, ya know, it's pretty tough to be pertineer five.  It really is.  

Bein' pertineer five is like havin' a job that you've been at for a little while.  Everybody knows your face and your name and where your desk is.  You're a whiz at making single-sided copies and answering the telephone, and alerting your co-workers to the presence of donuts in the conference room. 

But then, somebody needs double-sided copies made, collated and stapled, and even though you were shown how to do this, and ya watched the training video, you haven't done it much yet, so you're less than slick when it comes to executing the task.  The copies come out with portrait on one side and landscape on the other side.  And then the next crack ya take at the task, you get only one-sided copies that aren't in particular order, and the staple's right in the middle of the page. 

And your co-workers and your boss lose their minds over it.  Because you should know how to do it.  You should be good at it.  Even though you haven't done it very long, and it's kind of a tricky task to master.  They don't care.  You messed up.  They're not gonna let you hear the end of it for a long time, and they're not gonna let you have any of those donuts in the conference room until you get your act together on those double-sided and collated copies. 

That's what it's like to be pertineer five, Friends.  It's kinda rough.  Big People forget what it's like to be little.  They forget that even they had to learn from the ground up.  Everybody was a beginner at some time, and some of us are beginners for longer at certain things.  I wish people would remember that.  I wish people would know we Pertineer Five Year-Olds are just doin' our bests.  We aren't tryin' to be petulant.  We're just tryin' to figure out the world the best way we know how.

You remember that, Friends, would you?  This weekend, if somebody gets something wrong, don't jump all over 'em.  Give 'em the benefit of the doubt.  If it's a Little Kid, give 'em the benefit of the doubt, too.  Even Little Kids are fightin' battles you don't know anything about. 

Be kind.

I love ya lots, Big People!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Thursday, August 25, 2016

BYOB- Bring Your Own Beach!

I bring my own beach whenever I travel!
Hiya, Big People!  Happy Thursday to you!

Well, ya know, friends, I love bein' at a beach.  I guess more specifically, I love bein' at the lakeshore, but the Tshirts never say "Life's a Lakeshore."  They say "Life's A Beach." 

Thing of it is, sometimes Life is not a beach.  Sometimes life is a boring ol' house or an office building, or whatever else is NOT a beach.

That's when ya hafta BYOB... Bring Your Own Beach! 

I carry a beach with me when I go on vacation.  It's a tubba play-sand I can dig in and sculpt and just feel like I'm playin' shore-side.

But a beach is more than just sand.  A beach is sort of a carefree, breezy attitude.  Not at all buttoned-down.  Wavy.  Fun.  Bringin' your own beach means carryin' a breezy attitude with ya and goin' with the flow, too. 

Friends, it's easy to get a little wrapped too tight in the day-to-day fray.  Be like me, and always bring your own beach with you, even if it's just a little bit!

I love ya lots, and I'll be seein' ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

That Mouth of Mine!

Sometimes, my own mouth gets the rest of me in trouble, Friends!
Hiya, Friends!  Happy Wednesday to you!

Well, ya know, Friends, mostly I am a sweet little girl, with an even temper and sunny disposition that everybody loves to be around.

Don't look at me like that.  It's TRUE!

It's just that sometimes, I can be a spicy little girl.  I just can't help myself.  Sometimes, I get spicy over injustices like bein' forced to go take a nap, or not bein' able to watch the television show I wanna watch, or gettin' yelled at for ridin' my bike off the furniture.

While I'm talkin', I'd just like to point out that there are a LOT of injustices I suffabler on a daily basis.  Why, can you believe, Big People, that my parents actually make me go into a restaurant and make me eat when I choose the restaurant, but on the way to the table I say I changed my mind and I wanna eat somewhere's else?!  No!  Just because I said on the ride there and as we were gettin' out of the car in the parking lot that I wanna eat there, they don't let me change my mind when we're on our way to the table, because that's "rude" and "embarrassing."

I'll tell ya what.  When Mommy and Daddy start dolin' out talk like that, it's as though they're calling my very self rude and embarrassing!

And that's when this mouth of mine gets the rest of me in trouble, Big People.  I'll go and say something, and all you-know-what breaks loose. And then I just can't help myself.  My mouth just keeps a-flappin' while my brain is all like "Zoe, slow your roll!  You're gonna get us all in trouble!" but my mouth doesn't listen, because that's the ears's job.

So on I talk, and the deeper my mouth gets the rest of me into trouble!

That mouth of mine can be a real jerk sometimes, Friends!

Anyways, I'll probably be outta time-out by tomorrow, so let's plan on me seein' ya then!  I love ya lots!  Muah!

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

According to the Ancient Texts of Modern Dance...

Whatever "it" is, shake it! 
Hiya, Friends!  Happy Tuesday to you!

See?  I told ya I'd be better off today.  I hope you are, too!

Well, ya know, I am a kid who has always loved dancing.  I adopted interpretive modern dance as my own very early in my life, before I could even sit up on my own, in fact!  So, Dance and I go Way Back!

Sometimes, though, Dance presents me with conundrums that do not have a clear-cut answer for me.  Sometimes, Dance can be downright confusing!

For instance, should I shake, shake, shake... shake, shake, shake... shake my booty?  Or would I be better served to shake my groove thing?  Texts on the matter offer contradicting direction for me.  So how can I follow the Ancient Texts of Modern Dance to a T if they tell me differing things?  I don't wanna rock the boat!  The Ancient Texts of Modern Dance are very specific about that!  "Don't rock the boat, Baby, don't tip the boat over!"

I don't wanna anger the gods of Modern Dance by doin' the wrong thing!

I think that until I see some kind of sign, I'll just figure that a booty and a groove thing are the same thing, and I am to shake it.  I can do that.  You should, too, Friends! 

I love ya lots, Big People!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Monday, August 22, 2016


It's Monday, and I am not happy about that development!
Well, Big People, it's Monday, and I'm not happy about it! 

I know usually, I go on and on and tell ya not to be miserable on Mondays, but to tell ya the truth today, I'm miserable on this Monday, and I don't feel a bit guilty for it. 

You see, I got to visit the Mall this weekend, and I got to go to the arcade, and I got to play lotsa games.  My favorite arcade game was this game where the Three Stooges would pop up, and to get them to go back in their hole, you'd hit 'em on the head with a mallet.  The game is called Whack-A-Mole.

What I think ought to happen is that they make a game called Whack-A-Monday.  I don't know what purpose it would serve, other than it would feel good to whack Monday on the head with a mallet.  Over and over and over again. 


Anyways, Friends, maybe Monday is almost over by the time you read it.  If that's the case, rest assured that I'll be back with a better attitude on the morrow.  I love ya so much, Big People!  I'll see ya tomorrow.  And if Monday gets to be too much, just imagine a giant Whack-A-Monday game, and you'll feel a little bit better.


Sunday, August 21, 2016

Usin' My Noodle!

This novice swimmer is usin' a noodle AND a rainbow-tie-dye life jacket!
Hiya, Friends!

Well, ya know, I've heard that expression "use your noodle" a lot over my life, and I've gotta tell ya, it's pretty good advice, especially when you're talkin' about a pool noodle when you're wantin' to paddle around in some water.

When I wanted to go swimmin' in the Lake, I was told to use my noodle, so I went to the cupboard in the basement, pulled out a snazzy blue pool noodle, took it out to the water, and was amazed at how much more buoyant and floatable I really was!  What a handy helper those pool noodles are!

I wonder if the People of Pinterest know about these things!

Anyways, Friends, when ya feel like you're sinkin' in life, or in a situation, don't head for the shore and wrap up in your towel.  Use your noodle.  It'll help float ya right through the situation!

I love ya lots, Friends! Just keep swimming!   I'll be seein' ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Saturday, August 20, 2016

The Best Way to Get to Work!

This is what I call arrivin' to work in STYLE, Big People!
Hiya, Big People!  Happy Saturday to you!

Well, as ya know, a few weeks ago, I got to spend two weeks at a Lake House.  It wasn't a vacation for me, because I never take a vacation from bein' me, but don't be sad for me, Big People!  Bein' me is pretty much the greatest job for me to have! 

It's true!  I couldn't imagine anybody else doin' the job of bein' me.  My best pal Rozzie tried to be me for a day, and I tried to be her, and I swear, she had the better end of that stick, I'll tell ya what!

Anyway, since I was really workin' while I was at the Lake, that means every time I would depart from shore and return, I was on my commute!  I got to arrive by floatie!

Now, that's what I call commuting in style, Friends!  It really is!  It made the Bingham Underground I usually take to work every day look like some subterranean train.  You can't beat arriving by floatie, Friends!  You can't be in a bad mood, turnin' up to work when you're encircled in lake water and a floatie!

Friends, I hope you can go to the Lake sometime and experience this kinda high style arrival like I did!  I love ya lots, and I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Friday, August 19, 2016

Zany Zoe's Cavalcade of Crack-Ups!

Ay-oh!  I'm here all weekend, Friends! Sit a spell and tip your waitress!
Hiya, Friends!  Fabulous Friday to you!

Well, ya know, I am a kid who appreciates a great joke.  I love 'em all.  Knock-knock jokes, tongue-twisters, mixed-up meanings... if it's a joke, you can pretty much take it to the bank that I'm gonna love it and laugh at it a lot!

In that spirit, I would like to share some of my favorite jokes with you today, on this Fabulous Friday!  Call it Zany Zoe's Cavalcade of Crack-Ups, if you will!

Okay!  Here we go!

Friends, how do you make a milk shake?  Ya startle a cow!

How do ya make whipped cream, Big People?  Ya spank the cow! 

Whoa!  But seriously, I LOVE my bovine buddies!  I really do!  Bessie, Elsie, Angus!  I love ya lots!

Okay, okay.  I got a coupla doozies for ya.  Are ya ready?  You are?  Okay!

Doozie-doozie!  See what I did there?

Hahahaha!  Slap some mustard on me, 'cause I am on a ROLL!

Anyways, why was Six afraid of Seven, Friends?  Do you know?  Because Seven Eight Nine!

Oh my goodness, that one's one of my favorites!

Friends, how does Lady Gaga like her steak?  Raw, raw, raw-raw-raw-raw, raw-raw, raw-raw-raw-raw!  (Ya hafta sing that one.  That one might be a little High Concept.)

I bet your sides are about to split, Friends! Zany Zoe's Cavalcade of Crack-Ups'll do that for ya!  So I'd better make sure you get a little rest.  I love ya lots, Big People, and I'll see ya tomorrow!  Ya never know what's gonna transpire here at The Daily Zoe Blog!  Muah!

Thursday, August 18, 2016

Lakeside Zoga

I call this my Undersea Tree Pose.
Hiya, Friends!  Happy Thursday to you!

Well, ya know, I've talked about how I've been a practitioner of Zoga for ... well, my whole entire life.  It really helps me find my center, and oh my GOODNESS, Big People, the BREATHING!!!  It keeps me breathing like it was something I was born to do!

So of course, when I was on my recent wonderful vacation at the Lake, I took my Zoga practice with me. 

Practicing Zoga beside the water was just so life-changing, Big People.  I don't know what it was, whether it was the cooling breezes coming across the Lake, or maybe the way the Lake would go one way during part of the day, and then the opposite direction at the end of the day, but I just found it so much easier to find my center while I was there.

Or maybe, I was just in the right place at the right time to be super blissed-out.

Vacation does that to a person.  The Lake does that to a person.  And of course, Zoga does that to this person!

I love ya lots, Friends!  I'll be seein' ya tomorrow!  Breathe in, breathe out, and just be.  Muah!

Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Waterside Wednesday

I wish I could make Waterside Wednesday a real thing!
Hiya, Big People! 

Boyo Boy, just a coupla weeks ago, I was at the Lake, enjoying being by the water.

I had a lot of fun on my wonderful lakeside vacation.  I learned how much fun playin' pool really is.  I got so I wasn't afraid of the water.  Aunt Colleen taught me how to swim!  I got to ride in a paddle boat! And I learned that every pontoon boat should come with a sunshade as standard equipment.


What this picture makes me think of is that it was taken on my first night at the Lake this year.  And that makes me with that I could make every Wednesday a Waterside Wednesday, for real, by taking myself to the side of a Lake for a little while. 

Boyo boy, Friends.  I know I've been back to reality only a short while, but I think it's time for me to dust off my famous Vacation In My Head ™ and revisit my Lake Experience.  I just feel like that's the thing for me to do today.

I love ya lots, Friends.  And if you need a Vacation in Your Head™, too, you feel free to join me.  I'll be sittin' on the dock, watchin' the fireworks over the water in front of an endless sunset.  See ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Tuesday, August 16, 2016

Maybe I Should Just Order an Uber

Goodness, what's a girl hafta do to get a taxicab in this town?
Hiya, Big People!  Happy Tuesday to ya!

Well, ya know, the Bing is a busy, busy place.  Most of the time, I take the Bingham Underground, which is part of the Bingham Urban Transportation Authority (BUTA), but sometimes, that just isn't a practical transportation solution for me.  Sometimes, I need to get to parts of the Bing that aren't near an Underground station, and the B-Bus isn't due for a while, so I try to hail a cab.

Friends, I don't know if you've ever tried to hail a cab here in the Bing, but it's nigh onto bein' impossible to get one's attention. 

Why, it's as though none of those drivers in the cars don't even know they're supposed to pick people up and take 'em to where they wanna go!

Maybe from now on, when I hafta get to somewhere in the Bing that isn't served with BUTA, I'll see if there's sucha thing as Little Kid Uber to take me there. 

I love ya lots, Friends!  I'll see ya tomorrow, if I ever get to where I'm tryin' to go today!  Muah!

Monday, August 15, 2016

Still Life With A Sabretooth!

This is what they call avant garde art right here, Friends!
Hiya, Friends!  Happy Monday to you!

Well, ya know, my pal Sabretooth and I have been experimenting with different art forms for my whole entire life. 

We've dabbled in interpretive dance. 

We've taken on fingerpainting and marker drawings. 

We've created masterpieces with melted crayons. 

We've sung. 

We've pantomimed.

Our new big thing that we love to do now is Real Life Still Life.  It's a cross between interpretive dance, pantomime, and living installation art. 

What I really like about Real Life Still Life tableaux is that Sabretooth and I get to be part of the art.  We get to be the art itself.  That's kind of a big deal, you know?  I mean, getting to be a whole installation?

Friends, I'll leave ya with this thought today.  Be the art ya wanna see in the world!  How the heck right about that?!

I love ya lots!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Sunday, August 14, 2016

814 Day!

Party on, Friends!  It's 814 Day!
Friends!  Remember back on 716 day, I said I was gonna do something about 814 Day to make it a Thing, since the 814 is MY area code?

Well, I never got around to coming up with an excellent idea for the same, but 814 Day came, anyway. Might as well celebrate the 814 in whichever manner we feel fit, don'tchyoo think?

The 814 might not be as glamorous as other area codes, Friends.  I get it.  I mean, in the 814, our big city is Erie.  We're known more for our nocturnal creatures than we are for our nightlife. 

But that doesn't mean we're not cool in the 814.  I mean, I live here in the 814, and I'm cool!  I like the dark skies at night, with a Beadazzaling of stars.  I like the way my traffic jams are farm equipments on the way to or from the field, insteadda a line of ugly-dispositioned drivers.  I like the way I can go outside and play and not be fenced in.  I get to have real grass under my feet!

So maybe the 814 isn't as glamorous as the 716 or 215 or gawd, the 212.  But I think there's a lot for us to celebrate, just about bein' us, 814 Friends!  So that's what we're gonna do today!  Wahoo for the 814!  We live in the Far Unlit Unknown, and we're proud of it!

I love ya lots, Big People!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Saturday, August 13, 2016

Zozo's Wheely Good Food

Servin' up great imaginary food with a real smile!
Hiya, Big People!  Happy Saturday to you!

Well, I'll tell ya what.  There's nothing I like to do better on a Saturday than work on my imaginary food truck called Zozo's Wheely Good Food: The Truck. 

What I like most about workin' on my imaginary food truck is that I can start out in one place, and if it isn't lookin' good there for business, I can just pull up the dang ol' wheel chocks and drive to somewheres where the pickens are better. 

What kind of food I serve up on Zozo's Wheely Good Food depends on the mood I'm in, or what kind of day it is.  Sometimes, I offer full meals, and other days, I'm just a dessert truck, really.  It's all about how the chef feels, and the chef is me, so I pretty much have complete control over the kind of food I serve.

When you're four like me, that's a pretty great feeling to have, bein' in complete control of something, you know, Friends.  Because a lotta things in my life, I don't have complete control over. I wouldn't even say I have a little bit of control over.  That's what stinks about bein' four.

But Zozo's Wheely Good Food?  That's my creation.  That's my territory.  I am the ruler of that domain, and that's great!

I love ya lots, Friends!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Be good!  Muah!

Friday, August 12, 2016

Toybox DramaRama

Moms should never criticize their daughters' hair or toy-keeping skills!
Hiya, Big People!  Happy Friday to you!

Well, ya know, that dang ol' Mommy's been harshing my vibe again about pickin' up my toys.  She says my playroom's a royal mess, and also my toys don't belong in the living room and around!

Well, I'll tell ya what, Friends.  Either my toys can be outta the living room, or my playroom can be neat-n-tidy.  The ol' lady can't have it both ways!

I like to have all my toys out where I can see 'em, where they're handy for me to just pick up and start playin' with.  I don't like to hafta go through all the hassle of searchin' through toyboxes to find the toys I'm lookin' for.  It's very irritating to me to have Mommy going on and on about me tidying up. 

The older I get, Friends, the more I think that if my Mommy doesn't have something to complain about, about me, she wouldn't have anything to say at all!  It's maddening!

You're not maddening, though, Friends!  You're fun!  I bet you'd let me keep all my toys out in the wide open, if I lived at your house.  I bet we'd get along just great!

Think about it, Big People!  I love ya lots, and I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Thursday, August 11, 2016

Consider the Pineapple...

Pineapples are pretty much the most beautiful fruit, I think!
Hiya, Big People!  Happy Thursday to you!

You may have noticed that I am holding a pineapple in today's picture, and this is no accident.  You see, I want you to consider the pineapple.  Really take a good look at how that pineapple looks.  Think about how a pineapple tastes.

I don't know aboutchyoo, Friends, but the first time I ever saw a pineapple, I didn't know what it was.  I thought it was beautiful, but a little foreboding, with all those spikes. I figured pineapples were just a very pretty decoration.

Imagine how flabbergasted I was when I found out pineapples are for EATING!  And they're really, really super-sweet!  I mean, WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!

It just goes to show ya, Friends, that even if someone or something seems just too beautiful to be approachable on the outside, they might be really sweet on the inside.  You just never know. 

I DO know that I think pineapples are just the most beautiful fruit in the dang ol' produce section, Friends!  And they come with their very own crowns!  I love ya lots, Big People!  See ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Wednesday, August 10, 2016

I Was Not...

There's nothing to see here!  Move along!
Hiya, Big People!

Well, you know, even though you see me here with a paira scissors in my hand and a globba my hair in my other hand, you did NOT just catch me fixin' to cut my own hair.  Absolutely not.

Do you know how much trouble I'd be in, if I cut my own hair with a paira scissors?  I'd be in gobs and gobs of trouble, is what I'd be in, Friends. 

Look at it this way.  Imagine the most trouble you could imagine bein' in for sucha thing, and then multiply that trouble by two point seven five.  That's approximately how much trouble I would be in for cutting my own hair with a paira scissors.

What you see here in the picture is me with a PRETEND paira scissors, PRETENDIN' to cut my own hair, and in my imagination, I did a pretty darned good job, too.  I think I should be given a shot with the real deal, sometime, but Mommy says no.  She thinks that just because she one time cut her own hair with a paira pinking shears, and it looked awful, the same fate would befall my hair, should I embark on the same kind of mission.  I am not my Mommy, Friends.  I wish she would understand that.  My self-serve haircut would look FABULOUS!

But for now, I'll hafta content myself by usin' my pretend shears and pretend-cuttin' my own hair.  So there. 

I love ya lots, and I'll see ya tomorrow, Big People!  Muah!

Tuesday, August 9, 2016

It's Kind of a Big Day!

A month from today, I'm gonna be FIVE!
Hiya, Big People!  Happy Tuesday to you!

Well, ya know, today's kind of a big day for me.  It might not matter much to you, but to me, the potential of today has me whipped nearly into a frenzy. 

You see, one month from today, I am going to be five years old.  Half a decade.  All grown up.  And I could not be more excited!

I think it's because when I'm five,  I anticipate having lotsa freedoms afforded to me that I do not currently enjoy as a four-year-old.  I don't know specifics yet, because as a four-year-old, there's so much out there that is not available to me, and I can hardly fathom their existence, but believe you me, Friends, those freedoms are out there, and they're gonna be afforded to me as soon as I turn five.

Maybe I'll get to drive a car all by myself!  Or use the stove without adult supervision!  Or set off firecrackers!  Wouldn't that be a gas?!

I don't know what Five's gonna bring me, Friends, but I know it's gonna be big.  And I also know I'm gonna enjoy the heck outta my last month of bein' four years old.  It's been a special year, for sure!

I love ya, Big People!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Monday, August 8, 2016

My Own Loft!

Loft Living made me feel really sophisticated, Friends!
Hiya, Big People!  Happy Monday to you! 

Well, I'm back to home, but I'll tell ya what.  I can't stop thinkin' about my loft I stayed in at the Lake.  You see, I loved that loft.  I was higher up than anyone else at the Lakehouse, I had my own little bed, and my own little space, and I felt so darned sophisticated.

Because you know, in the City, the cool kids live in lofts.  Also, artists live in lofts.  So while I was at the Lake, I felt like an artsy cool City kid.  It was great, and I wanna capture a little of that feeling while I'm home.

I've decided that I'm going to imagine that I live in a loft instead of a house.  I'm going to imagine that I'm an artsy cool kid, living in Center City Bing.  And not only that, but I live in the cool building!

If I close my eyes, I can see it, Friends!

Hey, Friends!  I hafta decorate my imaginary loft now!  I'm so excited!  I feel almost as cool and sophisticated as I did when I was at the Lake!  I love ya lots!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Sunday, August 7, 2016

Homeward Bound!

It's been fun, but it's back to Reality for this vacationer!
Well, hiya, Friends!  Happy Sunday to you! 

You may or may not know this about me, Big People, but for the last two glorious weeks, I have been vacationing at a lake and having the time of my life.  In a few weeks, you'll start to see the pictures from that adventure, but I've been living that adventure for the last fortnight.

A Fortnight in the Finger Lakes, if you will, is the kind of vacation I've been enjoying. 

Anyway, as I write to you this morning, it is all drawing to a close.  I'm not gonna lie, Big People.  I'm pretty torn up about it.  When I began my wonderful lakeside vacation two weeks ago, I was upset because it was taking so long to get there, and I missed my bedroom with all my toys in it.  I missed my house.  I missed Rozzie.

But then the Magic of the Lake took over, and I realized that the Lake was where I was meant to be.  It isn't that I didn't miss Home, and that I no longer missed my dog Rozzie, but I've just been havin' so much fun here.

I suppose if vacations didn't end and we didn't have to go back to reality, vacations wouldn't seem so special and fun in the first place. 

I've enjoyed every moment, Friends, but now I'm packin' up my stuff I brought to the Lake, and headin' to my seat in the big truck, and I'm headin' back to the Bing.  But I take solace in the fact that I know that in just a few weeks, my vacation will come back to say 'Hiya!' through my posts in this weblog, Friends.

I love ya lots, and I'll see ya tomorrow, when I'll be back to the usual routine!  Muah!

Saturday, August 6, 2016

Ode to Saturday!

Sunday might rhyme with 'Funday,' but Saturday is where it's at!
Well, hiya, Big People!  Is it Saturday again already?  Boyo boy.  Where DOES the time go?

In case you didn't know, Saturdays are my FAVORITE days of the week, right behind Friday Night, which is really the welcome mat for Saturdays. 

I like Saturday for a variety of reasons, but mostly because Saturdays are really fun days.  On Saturdays, Daddy's home, and usually we go on adventures or stay home and have fun!

Even though Sunday rhymes with "Fun Day," that's a serious misnomer, because the spectre of Monday hangs over Sunday like a giant Dementor waiting to suck out your soul. 

But it isn't like that with Saturday.  That's why I love it best.  I love you too, Friends!  A Whole lot, and I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Friday, August 5, 2016

Go Fish!

As it turns out, Friends, I'm quite a card shark!
Hiya, Big People!  Happy Friday to you!

Well, ya know, I love learning new things about myself, pertineer every day.  And the thing I've recently learned about myself is that I LOVE playin' Go Fish!

Have you ever played Go Fish, Friends? 

You get dealt some cards and then ya match 'em up in your hand, and when you have matches, ya lay 'em down on the table.  Then ya ask people around the table if they have the fish in your hand you don't have matches for.  And if they don't, they tell ya to go fishin'! 

I just love that, Friends! 

I think my favorite card to get is the manta ray.  Those guys fascinate me.  But I like the octopus card, too, because on my decka go fish cards, the octopus is an artist and has eight different art supplies in its tentacles.  I think it'd be great to run eight different paint brushes and art supplies at once!

I don't always win when I play Go Fish! but I always, always have fun. 

I love ya lots, Friends!  Do you have a good day today?!  Well, Go Fish! for it!  hahahahaha!  Muah!

Thursday, August 4, 2016

I Have Not Forgotten the Little Giraffes!

I strive every day to foster a spirit of peace between Little Giraffes and TigerBabies!
Hiya, Big People!  Happy Thursday to you!

Well, ya know, it's been a long time since I've updated you on my work with the Little Giraffes of the Wild Steppes of North Bingham, but you can rest assured that although I am no longer a TigerBaby as much as I am a TigerLittleKid, I certainly am still working to foster a spirit of peace between my people, the TigerBabies, and the Little Giraffes of the Wild Steppes of North Bingham, as well as the Wild Steppes of Wexford, and wherever else Little Giraffes need help.  This is literally my lifelong mission.

I still work closely with my pal Sophie la Giraffe and Penelope the Pink Giraffe.  I developed a special Giraffe-friendly donut with Donut Dude recently, made from carrots and sunshine that Giraffes just love, and also all the proceeds from the sale of GiraffeLife Rings, which is what we've named the donuts, benefits TigerBabies and Little Giraffes United.

I'm also still really hands-on in the day-to-day operations of TigerBabies and Little Giraffes United.  I call to check in with my Little Giraffes that I've helped, and to help them help themselves.  For instance, Wellington, the president of the Wexford Chapter, and I speak every few days and offer each other ideas on how we can help other Little Giraffes, the way I helped the Little Giraffes of the Wild Steppes of Wexford stop crossing busy Route 19 to get to the dang ol' Sonic in the shopping center.

That was a really big day, since those Little Giraffes were really committed to that Sonic.

Anyways, Friends, every day, I try to do good while I'm doing well.  I hope you do, too.  I love ya lots, and I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Wednesday, August 3, 2016

TWOsday Follow-Up

In case you're wondering, TWOsday didn't really work out great for me.
Hiya, Big People!  Happy Wednesday to you!

Well, ya know, yesterday was TWOsday and I had a big ol' plan for how I was going to take on TWOsday, and guess what.

My Grownups thwarted my carefully-crafted and well thought-out plan for TWOsday.  When I asserted that insteadda havin' one candy bar, I was gonna have two, they said nope.  I was gonna have one candy bar, and if I kept talkin', I'd end up just havin' half or none at all.

That was NOT! how I foresaw myself celebrating TWOsday, Friends.  You know, just like I was tired of bein' told what to do and when to do it, back on Monday, I'm still tired of bein' told what to do and when to do it, here on Wednesday.  It's the PITS to be pertineer five, you know? 

Oh, well.  I didn't foresee myself celebratin' this Wednesday by complainin' all day, either.  So I'm gonna stop right now.  But the next time TWOsday rolls around, things are gonna be DIFFERENT! 

I love ya lots, Big People.  I'm gonna see ya tomorrow.  Muah!

Tuesday, August 2, 2016

Twosday Tuesday!

Well I thought it was clever, Friends!
Hiya, Big People!  Happy Tuesday to you!  Didja know that today is the second day of the month?  So that makes today TWO-sday!

I think that I'd celebrate TWOsday by havin' two of something that I'd normally have one of. 

Candy bars, for instance.  Usually I am allowed to have only one candy bar, but since today's TWOsday, I believe I will demand two candy bars, instead, if candy bars are on the agenda. 

Insteadda watchin' just one episode of Doc McStuffins, I'll have two, thank you very much!

One thing I will NOT have two of, though, even though it's TWOsday, is two naps.  That is just NOT gonna happen.  And I am prepared to give Mommy twice the sass if she suggests sucha thing.

Have a good TWOsday, Big People!  I love ya lots, and I'll see ya on Wednesday!  Muah!

Monday, August 1, 2016


Bein' told what the heck to do makes me MAD!
Friends!  There you are!  Hey.  If ya didn't notice, it's MONDAY again.  Darn it all right the heck to heck anyways!

But that isn't why I'm such a mad little bluebird today!  Nope!

I'm a mad little bluebird today because I'm sicka bein' told what to do. 

I'm sicka bein' told when to get up in the morning, and when to take my bath.  I'm sicka bein' told which shampoo and toothpaste to use.  I'm sicka bein' told how I'm supposedta do my hair and what to wear.

And indignity of all indignities, I'm told when to go to the potty, when to take a nap (yes, I'm still on this!), and when to go to bed. 

Bein' pertineer five just STINKS!  Just because I LOOK like a Little Kid, people think they gotta treat me like I'm a Little Kid.

Plus, it's Monday, too.  So there's that factor, even though I said it wasn't a factor.  Because I'm tired of bein' told how to even feel!  Arrrrrrrrrrgh!

See ya tomorrow, anyways, Friends!  Love ya lots!  Muah!