Cheese....With HOLES in It!

Look at this Swiss Cheese!  It has so many uses!

Friends, do you know there's cheese that has holes in it?  It's called "Swiss Cheese," and I think it's just genius! 

It's so versatile, this Swiss Cheese.  Why, a person such as myself can peer through the little holes in it. Trust me, this is a really useful use for Swiss Cheese. Seein' without bein' seen.  A very useful thing, don'tchya think?

Another thing I like about Swiss Cheese is that it looks like lace, a little bit.  Some of it looks like really mod lace with big holes in it, and others look like lacy-lace!  I love food that's pretty, AND...

DEEEEEEEEEELICIOUS!  That's the other thing I really like about Swiss Cheese, Friends!  It's just delicious!  Really tasty stuff!  I love eatin' it right out of the refrigerator, with my very hands. 

I've also enjoyed Swiss Cheese on a burger, rolled up with a pickle and ham, and I really like just eatin' it right outta the refrigerator.  I think that's my favorite. 

Friends, I'm so glad there's such a thing as Swiss Cheese.  Who doesn't love cheese with HOLES in it?  I certainly don't not love cheese with holes in it. ... Ummmm... no.  Yeah.  That's right!  I love cheese with holes in it! 

I love you, lots, Friends!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

TIPical Tuesday: How to Sneak Up On Somebody!

I am an expert sneaker-upper!

Hiya, Friends!  How are you?  Top o' the Tuesday to you!

I have a really great tip to offer you on Tuesday.  It's so great, in fact, that I'm gonna wanna hafta call this "TIPical Tuesday" in its honor.

Today, I'm gonna teach ya how to sneak up on somebody, Zoe-style!

The first thing you're gonna wanna hafta do is identify upon whom you'd like to sneak.  In this example, I'll sneak up on my pal Rozzie.  Observe:

The next thing you're gonna wanna hafta do is announce in your most exuberant voice that you're sneakin' up on that person.  Something like this: "Hey, Mah-meeee!  I'm sneakin' up on you!" oughtta do the trick. 

Surpriiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeezzzzzzz!  I gotchyoo!

Here's the fun part. The sneaky part.  You've gotta run right at your person, full bore.  This works best if you're not outside on soft squooshy grass or on a solid cement floor.  I'm tellin' you you wanna hafta be on a floor that has at least just the slightest amount of give to it.  Like a hardwood floor on a floor over the basement, or on the second floor.  Maybe a porch floor.

Then when you get to your person you're sneakin' up on, you jump in front of 'em, and yell "SURPRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIZZZZZZE!"

WHEEEEE!  That's fun! 

Friends, no matter what you've heard, this is how to sneak up on somebody.  It's a lot more fun than bein' all quiet and skulky. 

I love ya lots, Friends!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

It's Monday All Over Again!

Boy, it seems like Mondays come awfully fast!

Hiya, Friends!  Today's a big day.  It's my Gramma's birthday!  So I wanna say HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GRAMMA!  Right now! 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GRAMMA!

Now then.  How was your weekend, Friends?  Mine was HUGE!  Lemme wanna tell you all about it!

Friday, my pal Rozzie went for her bath she gets every month.  I got to go with Mommy to pick up Rozzie, and while we were waiting for Rozzie, I met a really cute and fluffy and sweet little kitty cat named Seymour!

Seymour and I hit it off instantly, but I can't have a kitty in my house, on accounta Daddy bein' honest to goodness allergic.  And Seymour already has a really great home.

Everybody who got a new swingset this weekend, raise your hand!

Of course, the highlight of the day, besides meeting Seymour and getting to bring Rozzie home all clean-n-shiny, was takin' the ol' Jeep through the car wash.  I LOVE those carwashes, Friends!  My favorite thing is the fruity-smelling rainbow foam.

Saturday was a pretty neato day, actually, too.  I thought I was gonna hafta wanna go up for my nap when Daddy asked me if I wanted to go pick out a swing and a slide.  Did I wanna pick out a swing and a slide?

YOU BETCHYA!  I've been wantin' a swing and a slide for ages now!  I thought Daddy was bein' a hold-out, because whenever I'd bring up my want of a swing and a slide, Daddy'd do that thing where he doesn't say anything, so I thought I was bein' pocket-vetoed on the subject.  I wasn't, though!

Yeah, I'm a pretty happy camper right now!

At first, I thought I wanted one of those big, fancy wooden tree-house swing sets.  The more I thought about it, though, the more I realized I wanted to just keep things simple, so now I have a really cool, simple metal swingset made up of a slide, a two-person glider-swing, two regular swings, a trapeze, and a teeter-totter.  I just love it!

What I love the most about my swingset is that I picked it out Saturday at the dang ol' Toys'R'Us, we brought it home in the pickup truck, and after a few hours yesterday, it was all put up and I could play on it!

We'd still be tryin' to dig a level spot in the lawn for one of those big, fancy, wooden swing sets, Friends!  And when you're my age, the best payoff is bein' able to get right down to the play as soon as possible!  Kids my age have serious playin' to do!

I named my new swingset "Seymour the Swingset" in honor of that cute little kitty cat I met the other day.  I can't wait to tell Seymour the kitty cat all about Seymour the swingset the next time I see him! 

In the meantime, Friends, you're gonna hafta wanna hear all about it, though.  Sorry!  This is a big deal for me, finally having a swing and a slide to call my very own.  It's big excitement.  I'll try to temper my enthusiasm, though, so I don't bore the heck right outta ya.

I love ya, Friends!  I'll be seein' you tomorrow!  Muah!

Planet Sparkle

There's a whole entire planet made out of diamond!

Friends!  Did you know this?  Did you know there's a whole PLANET made out of DIAMOND?  It's only 40 light-years away, which is still pretty far, but I love thinkin' about that planet and how it must twinkle and shine as it goes about its celestial business.

I read all about it in my Big Board Book of Little Facts About the Universe: A Comprehensive Guide to Things That'll Make You Go 'What?!'  As it turns out, this diamond planet is called 55 Cancri e (not a very fitting name for a diamond planet, so I'm gonna call this planet Planet Sparkle) and it orbits a sunlike star that's the aforementioned 40 light-years away from where we live. 

I shall call the diamond planet Planet Sparkle!

Planet Sparkle is really close to its sunlike star, which is what you'd expect from a diamond planet, I'd think.  As a result, Planet Sparkle is literally a hot little number.  Like 3,900 degrees hot.

And I thought it was hot around here in August.  Nothing like 4,000 degrees, though!  Wooo-wheeee!

I guess how Planet Sparkle came to be Planet Sparkle is that it has what's called a carbon mantel.  Even our Earth has a mantel.  Our Earth's mantel is made up of rocky oxygen, silicon, and magnesium.  Not the stuff diamonds are made of, from my reading. 

Imagine a whole SOLAR SYSTEM of gemstone planets!

The magic of Planet Sparkle lies in its carbon mantel, and how close it is to its starlike sun.  I guess all that carbon and all that heat, and whatever geological craziness ensues on such a planet all add up to making a mass of pure diamond.  How about that?!

I'd just like to stop and think for a minute about what a planet made of pure diamond must look like.  Do you think that if you look at Planet Sparkle just so, if the sparkle off the planet's sun is blinding to any nearby space aliens.  OR, you know how you can set something on fire using a prism and the sun?  I wonder if Planet Sparkle has ever accidentally aligned with its sunlike star and set any other planets on fire.  Maybe that's where Darth Vader got the idea for the Death Star.  I don't know. 

Could you imagine a whole entire solar system of gemstone planets, Friends?  Wow!

Squash Those Litterbugs: Reduce, Reuse, Recycle!

I'm serious about not littering.  It's bad!

Hiya, Friends!  I wanna hafta talk to you about something really serious today, mmmmkay? 

Yesterday, I was riding in the Jeep with Mommy and Rozzie, and I couldn't help noticing all the garbage in the ditches alongside the road.  It was disheartening!

To make matters worse, after we went out to eat in Wellsville, we took a scenic route home and took this really neat, twisty back road into dang ol' Whitesville, and I saw that the sides of the road on that back road were all junked up, too! 

All that pretty scenery made a dumping-ground!  How rude!

Big People, it made me wonder why people litter like that.  Is there a garbage can shortage?

Don't worry. Recyclin' and reusin' can be super fun!

Haven't the Litterbugs ever learned how to use a garbage can?

I really don't know!  That's why I'm asking!  I just don't understand why anybody would think it's okay just to throw their trash out their car window and keep on driving.

It really isn't okay.  It uglies everything up, Friends.  Don't you agree?  It makes everything look ugly when there's garbage laying all over it. 

Now I understand why my pal Sabretooth is so passionate about recycling, even when it isn't Earth Day.  The Earth needs an enforcer to take care of it, because apparently some of us are dropping the ball as we throw our litter out the car window!  What a shame!

Think outta the box and be creative when you reuse stuff!

I have a solution.  It's simple.  Reduce the amount of stuff you throw away.  Reuse the things you can.  For instance, I found some neat pumpers in the drawer in the kitchen, and insteadda puttin' them in the garbage, I discovered that they made some really great antennae. 

Reuse things.  Think outta the box.  Things that can't be reused, recycle 'em.  It's really easy!  In some communities, you just put your recyclables in a separate bin and send it to the curb.  Where I live, you've gotta sort your recyclables by type and take 'em to the transfer station yourself, but even that isn't SO hard.

Finally, if you're drivin' around, and you've got garbage in your car, don't throw it out the window!  That's nasty behavior, and if you do it, you should be ashamed of yourself.  Seriously.  Consider yourself shamed by a toddler for being a litterbug.  This is MY world you're messin' up.  Well, your world, too.  SO.  If you're drivin' around and you generate some garbage from snacks and such, collect it in a bag, and put it in the trash at the next gas stop you make.  They have trash bins right at the pumps, usually.  They have trash bins outside the store.  If you aren't stopping, keep your trash in the bag you've collected it in until you get home, and then put it in your trash.  It's just that simple.

It really is, Friends.  We're all in this together.  No matter what else you do, at the very least, don't junk up outside with litter.  Please, Friends!

It's April the Twenty-Fifth

Rozzie and I are havin' creative differences.

Hiya, Friends!  Happy Friday, and Happy April the Twenty-Fifth!  You know what that means.  Now, yesterday, you'll remember that Rozzie and I got into a bit of a spat over the subject matter of my post.  You'll also notice that Rozzie is not appearing in today's pictures.  We'll be friends again eventually, but right now, we're indulging in some creative differences.

Oh, you know.  It happens to everybody who works creatively and collaboratively with someone else.  Creative differences are bound to pop up.  Or seep in.  Sometimes, it's a slow process, the creative differences rearing their heads.

Rozzie didn't agree with the content and theme of my post yesterday.  Apparently she's part of the "Keep Christmas in December" movement.  You know the people.  They don't wanna see or hear anything about the jolliest of holidays until December First, and even then, they say keep it in moderation.

Oh, yes, we're still friends.  We're just not speakin' right now.

You mean you've never heard of the Keep Christmas in December Movement?  It's a thing.  I don't subscribe to it.  But it's a thing.  You might even belong to it yourself, and you just didn't realize it. 

As for me, I'm part of the Acknowledging the Twenty-Fourth and Twenty-Fifth of Every Month For What It Is And Keep A Little Bit Of Christmas With You Always Movement.

Well, it's a thing if I say I'm part of it!  Maybe it's a movement that I'm starting!  I move all the time.  I never stand still.  How about that?

I'm not sure if she's mad at me, or I'm mad at her.

You know, Rozzie also fails to acknowledge the legitimacy of my movement, and you've seen where she is, as far as I'm concerned.  In the doghouse.  Except, she's an actual dog, so bein' in a doghouse isn't that much of a stretch for her.  It's not like it's the punishment it'd be if YOU were in the doghouse.

I mean, knowin' Rozzie like we all do, I betchya that if she had a doghouse for real, it'd be a pretty swanky structure.  I bet she'd have radiant heat floors, Greenies on demand, premium cable, a massaging memory foam mattress. 

Rozzie knows how to live well, Friends.

Awwwww, I can't stay mad at my best pal!  I'm gonna go hug Rozzie!

You know, it's that very bon vivant nature of Rozzie's that makes it impossible for me to stay mad at her, even if we're disagreeing over the proper time to talk about Christmas.  Rozzie's taught me a lot about the finer things in life.  She's also taught me how to have good character, how to be patient, how to be nice to people and animals, and how to cook up a mean plate of pierogis.  For real.  That Rozzie is multitalented!

I can't stay mad at her, even if we are on opposite sides of this twenty-fifth of the month debate.  I've gotta go find her.  I've gotta give her a big hug.  I love that dog!

I love you, too, Friends!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Guess What Today Is!

Rozzie told me not to bring it up about Christmas Eve today.

Hiya, Friends!  Happy Thursday!  Well, as you know, it's the Twenty-Fourth of the Month.  By now, you oughtta know that every Twenty-Fourth, I send you a friendly reminder that Christmas Eve is just X amount of months away, and today is no different. 

Friends, Christmas Eve is a mere eight months away.  That's all I'm gonna say, so plan accordingly.  Don't leave things off until the last minute.

While I respect Rozzie's advice, I'm gonna bring it up anyway, because I care.

I still don't see what the big deal is.  I'm not sayin' I wanna hafta fast-forward through all the months between now and Christmas.  I'm not sayin' I wanna hafta have Christmas every month.  That'd be too much.

I know Rozzie's glarin' at me.  I'm not backin' down.  Christmas Eve is important to me.

I'm just stating the obvious, Friends.  Anybody with a calendar could count backwards from Christmas Eve to today, or count forwards from today to Christmas Eve.  Anybody could do it.

I don't understand why people get all skinny around the nose when Christmas is mentioned.  It's funny how, when Christmas is here, everybody's all like "oooooh! I LOVE Christmas! It's my FAVORITE time of year!"

I have ears.  I can hear ya, Friends.  But the rest of the year, it's all "Boo!  Hiss!  Christmas!  You stink for pointing out it's only eight months away from Christmas Eve."

I'm not tryin' to stir the pot, Friends.  I just think it's better to acknowledge that Christmas is on the way, and plan accordingly.  It's how Santa gets through the holidays without gettin' all cranky-pants.

Rozzie and I have agreed to disagree.  This is MY blog, and I'll talk about Christmas if I wanna.

Why, in fact, Santa Claus has LOTS to do at the tail-end part of the year, and he manages to maintain jolliness, just the same.  How does he do it?

HE LOOKS AT HIS CALENDAR, ACKNOWLEDGES HOW MUCH TIME HE HAS TO PREPARATE FOR CHRISTMAS, AND HE PLANS ACCORDINGLY!  That's all there is to it, Friends!

That's why I talk about it so much.  I love ya lots, Friends!  Muah!