Callin' In Toddler

I'm takin' a walk today, because I shoulda called in Toddler.

Hiya, Friends!  You know, my people have a reputation for being Difficult.  You know what I'm talking about.  You know it.  Some people have "Senior Moments" when they forget where their keys are, but my people get "Toddler Moments" when we flip out.

According to you Big People, we Toddlers just flip the heck right out whenever we want, without regard to reason.  You think we're as mercurial as the weather in Minnesota in March.  Thing of it is, that isn't the way it works at all, Bucko.  I mean Friends.  I totally mean Friends and not Bucko.  I just get a little wound up when we get on the topic of "Toddler Moments."

We Toddlers just see the world a little differently than you do, Big People.  If we're in a store, and to you, it looks like we just burst into the waterworks, maybe we picked up on a vibe from you we didn't like, or somebody had a mean snoot on their face, and we took it personally.  Could be that we didn't sleep well last night, or we're battling a rumbly tummy.  You never know.  But being tired or hungry makes even you Big People angry.  It's true!  So imagine being a Toddler, without the years of experience at Rising Above that Big People have.  Or maybe there's a box of Cheerios in the cart that doesn't have the little honeybee on it, even though you've told your Mommy repeatedly not to get you the pasty plain Cheerios and to get the Honey Nut Cheerios.  It's so frustrating when Big People don't listen!!!

Sorry.  Sorry.  I brought a battle from home in today to my blogging.  That was unprofessional of me, and I'm sorry.  But I think it illustrates my point very elegantly.  Things that seem like nothing to you Big People are REALLY BIG ISSUES to my people.  It's just how it is. 

Do we sometimes blow things out of proportion?  I suppose when you view things through the prism of the Big People, our reactions to minor annoyances are out of proportion, but try to see things through the eyes of a Toddler.  To us, EVERYTHING is out of proportion.  Yes, it is!  Listen!

The couch, for instance.  The couch is easy for you to just perch down on.  Your feet even usually can touch the floor.  For me, the couch is a mountain to be conquered.  I hafta climb up, pull myself up, swing my legs up to the cushion, then army-crawl to my desired seat, where I find that my legs are stretched out straight in front of me, and my feet don't even clear the couch cushion.  How's that for strange proportion?

Be kind to Toddlers, Big People.

My people feel like we're normal-sized, but everything's way too tall, too big, too much for us.  

On those days that everything is too much, we are well within our rights to call in Toddler.  I mean, just because we actually DO have reasons to flip right the heck out anyway, early and often, doesn't mean the flipping out doesn't occur.  We flip out a lot, Friends.  That's acknowledged.  So on days that we feel like we're gonna flip out all over everybody we meet, we can just call in and say "I'm Toddler today," and then we get to stay home and watch Elmo all day, find our centers and all. 


I guess what I'm saying, Friends, is could you just be kind to us Toddlers?  Give us a little room to be spazzy and well, Toddler?  We have a lot on our plates, Friends, and the thing of it is, we hafta eat that lotsa on our plates with little teeny-tiny forks and spoons.  It's like the Universe just doesn't want us to win, but I for one am gonna work on Rising Above.  Yes I am!  Muah!