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Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Fact Tuesday

Uh-oh! Somebody's FABULOUS and it's Rozzie!
Hiya, Friends!  Hey.  Nobody gave me any ideas for a fact for Fact Tuesday, so I came up with one myself.  Here it is:  My pal Rozzie went to the vet's yesterday.  She has a little hematoma on her ear and is gonna be okay, but she needs to keep from scratching or bumping her ear, so the vet gave her a pretty blue soft cone that looks like a tutu.  It looks so much like a tutu that I wanna wear it. 

So this is my fact: The world is unfair and the universe is an unfeeling expanse.  Happy Fact Tuesday.

Don't worry.  I'm gonna tell you why.

Ooooooooh, I want it, I want it, I want it!
You see, this blue soft-collar of fabulousness that looks like a tutu is wasted on Rozzie.  Rozzie doesn't wanna hafta wear the thing.  She hates it!  Why, yesterday when we got home from the vet's, Mommy put the cone on Rozzie, and Rozzie took it off four times by the time I went up for my nap!  Four times!

Rozzie obviously doesn't want to wear it!  How can she be any less ambiguous about that?  Rozzie hates that beautiful soft cone that looks so much like a tutu that that's what I thought it was.

Now, as you can tell, I want that tutu.  I want it so much my hair clippies hurt!  I want it so much I can't think of anything else!  Not only would I wear that tutu, but I would wear it out in public, which is something that Rozzie has told me she won't do.

Let me be perfectly clear: I want this blue soft collar/tutu of Rozzie's more than I've ever wanted anything in my life, except a new me-sized Pink Jeep, a hot air balloon for in my bedroom, to stop bein' nagged about when I'm gonna do potty-trainin', and a crack at that giant jar of Nutella I found in the cupboard.
Come here, Rozzie!  Lemme admire that Cone of Fabulosity up close!

I want that tutu to call it my very own!

Here is where the Universe turns into a cold, uncaring UNFAIR!!! place:

Rozzie doesn't wanna wear that really great collar.  I wanna wear that really great collar as a tutu skirt.  As nice as Rozzie looks in that collar, it would look even nicer on me as a tutu skirt.  I've thought this through.  Rozzie and I have talked about it and negotiated, and we agree that her giving me the collar for use as a tutu skirt is an equitable transaction.  She has something she doesn't want, but I want it, and she wants to give it to me.
Imagine how much cuter this'd look if I were wearin' that tutu skirt of Rozzie's.

But.  Well, you've met Mommy.  You've met her, and you know she lives to crush the dreams of little girls and big white dogs.  She said "NO!" to the whole balla wax.  She said "NO!" to Rozzie giving me the collar.  She said "NO!" to me wearin' it like a tutu skirt.  In fact, Mommy said "NO!" to Rozzie even taking the thing off. 

Oh, for some blah, blah, blah about she needs to keep it on to protect her ear so she won't hafta have surgery on it and end up wearing a cone anyway.

It just makes me irritated, Friends.  It irritates the heck right out of me.

And that's my fact for Fact Tuesday.  I'll see ya tomorrow for Ask Wednesday, Friends.  I love ya lots!  Muah!

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