My Patient and My Friend

Sabretooth is my patient AND my friend!

Hiya, Friends!  You know, at my residency at St. Laffalotatus- Mercy-Mercy Hospital, I see all kindsa patients, and I do my best to help them all regain the ability to laugh and smile and just feel better.  Sometimes, though, I see my very own friends come through the automatic doors, and for them, I really work hard to make sure they get to laughing and smiling and feeling better again. 

My pal Sabretooth is one of those people, someone who's one of my best friends, and also one of my patients. 

Oh, don't worry.  The HIPPO people aren't going to come take away my Laughter Practitioner License or send us to jail for a HIPPO violation.  Sabretooth said I could tell you.

What's that? ... It isn't HIPPO I'm not violating, because I've got permission from my patient to talk about his case? ... Well, what IS it that we're not violating today? ... PIPPA?  Isn't that Kate Middleton's sister?  Pippa?  I kind of like that name.  ... WHAT IS IT THEN?  SPELL IT FOR ME! .... Oh!  HIPPA!

Don't worry.  Sabretooth signed release forms.

Well, nuts.  I liked it better when it was HIPPO.

Anyway, it isn't a problem, because like I said before we got into all that about HIPPO and PIPPA and whatnot, Sabretooth said I could talk about how he's been feelin' kinda down lately, and how he's bein' helped at St. Laffalotatus- Mercy-Mercy Hospital.

The day Sabretooth came to the hospital, I was workin' in the Emergency Room, and although I wasn't surprised to see him come dragging his tail through the doors, it made my own heart sink.  You know, Sabretooth's usually so good at stayin' upbeat through hard times- the "No Goal" call of 1999, the Lockouts, the ownership changes- that I thought maybe, just maybe, my pal Sabretooth could make it through this season without his spirit hitting the floor. 

As it turns out, Sabretooth's only human.  Or is he a big kitty? ... As it turns out, Sabretooth's only an anthropomorphic person-sized sabretooth tiger in a Sabres jersey, and like anyone else finding themselves in a Sabres jersey this season, 'Tooth finally couldn't rise above the record and the stats, and the NBC Sports guys who are all terminal sufferers of Jerkface anyway.  And he came to St. Laffalotatus- Mercy-Mercy Hospital for some help.

Sabretooth's spirits were pretty low, so we started him on a constant stream of Ellen.  She is one hilarious lady, that Ellen!  That got Sabretooth remembering what it's like to smile and laugh, but we were far from done.  Then we had Sabretooth watch Elf, which is some funny stuff, and also some funnier clips from Saturday Night Live.  Once Sabretooth was able to handle that much funny, we switched him over to a steady diet of "Slapshot."  We also threw in some "This Is Spinal Tap," because Sabretooth likes that movie.

I love to help my patients and my friends and my patient-friends!

Finally, once his spirits were raised out of the Critically Low zone, we were able to perform a Spirit Lift on him.  You can't just do a Spirit Lift, just like that, Friends.  When someone's really, really sad like Sabretooth was (have you SEEN what's been going on at First Niagara Center this year, Friends?), you can't just go in there, thinking you can do a Spirit Lift and have everything be okay.  You've gotta be patient, and let the treatment follow its course.

I'm happy to say that Sabretooth's Spirit Lift went really well, and he's doing great in his post-op Laughupational Therapy.  It's so good to see the smile back in his eyes, Friends. 

So that's why I do what I do.  I get to help people like Sabretooth learn to laugh again.  I get to lift spirits. 

I get to watch funny movies and stand-up comedians on my rounds and for training purposes!

I love ya a lot, Friends!  And I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!