For Pete's Aches, What'll They Think Of Next?!

A Month's Beginning Report?! Is this a joke?

Friends, you're not gonna believe this.  Remember how yesterday, I was in a scramble to get my Month's End Report filled out and turned in? 

Well, I got it all filled out and turned in, just in the nicka time.  It was filed at 11:59.  It was due at Noon!  I'm not sure how I could cut it any closer than that!  I'm really not!  And I'm hoping I'll never find out!

But get this.  Yesterday afternoon, when we were all cleanin' up our cubes and dusting off our desks and ready to call Friday one for the books, a memo came around telling us that from now on, we're expected to fill out a Month's Beginning Report on all the TPS Reports we're anticipating reporting on in the coming month.

My reaction at first was, "What?!"

I thought somebody was punking me early for March Fool's Day, but I saw that everybody else in my department had also gotten that very same memo.  Everybody else was flipping out, so I called up to the Executives to find out what was what and found out that it ISN'T a joke!  They really mean for us to fill out a report on the TPS Reports we anticipate filling out in the month ahead, and this is going to be a Thing.

I got off the phone and my reaction was "Super-What?!"

A report on the reports we anticipate filling out, but haven't actually filled out yet, because the days on which we'll be filling out those reports haven't occurred yet?! 

No! I'm not doin' it, and don't you do it either, Coworkers!

Isn't that like taking a test on material you haven't learnt yet? What the heck sense does THAT make?

Well, I suppose, it would help your teacher know what you know and what you don't know, so that a lot of time isn't spent on teaching you things you already know, and more time can be spent on teaching you things you don't know.  I suppose.  I mean THAT kinda makes sense, so long as it's for diagnostic purposes, and isn't figured in to your final grade.  I mean how fair would that be?

But I don't think the Beginning of the Month Report is like that, since I still haven't had it made clear to me just what the usefulness of the TPS Report itself is, Friends.  Here's what the TPS Report feels like to me and my friends in my department:

Imagine your boss brings you a boxa macaronis and dumps 'em out on your desk and tells ya to count 'em up.  Not just that, but sort out the macaronis that are broken in three-quarters, the ones that are broken in half, the macaronis that are broken in a quarter, and count each individual piece of broken macaroni that isn't shaped like macaroni anymore.  And you've gotta sort it all out, and count up how many of each piece there are, and write it all down in color-coded triplicate forms.  And then your boss comes back along, looks over your work, and says 'good job!' and puts all the macaronis, broken ones, fragments, and all, right back in the box, and takes the box away.

You never find out what your boss needed you to count the macaronis for.

A girl's gotta have limits!

That's how TPS Reports feel, Friends.  So this Beginning of the Month Report, I just don't know. 

You know what?  I've decided I'm not doing the Beginning of the Month Report.  I'm not gonna do it.  I don't see the point.  I mean, I know the Executives TOLD us we hafta, but none of us really can come up with a good purpose, and the Executives won't tell us why.  That makes me think they're just seein' what they can tell us to do, that we'll do.  Do you know what I mean?  It's like playin' Simon Says, and we all stand on our heads because Simon said so. 

Well, I'm not accepting that.  And I don't think the rest of my friends should, either.  Busy-work, is what it is!  And work is busy enough, without extra busy-work!  That's what I have to say about it!


I'm not a rabble-rouser at work, Friends.  I promise.  But a girl's gotta have limits that get respected, by gum!

Anyway, I love ya lots, Friends!  I love ya lots, and I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!