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Sunday, November 2, 2014

Lessons Learned from Hockey!

Dress like a goalie; fight like an enforcer!
Hiya, Big People! 

Today, I want to talk to you about lessons I've learned from hockey.  Because if you know me, you know that I really love hockey.  I've been watchin' it ever since I was a brand-new baby.  I find Sabres Announcer Rick Jeanneret's voice to be nearly as soothing as that of my parents.

My first word I ever uttered was "hockey!"  Or, "hah-key!" as I used to say it back then!

And in all this time, I've learned that you can learn a lot of things from the great sport of hockey.  That's what I'd like to share with you today!

The first lesson I've learned from watching hockey is that there are two-minute penalties and four-minute penalties.  If you're tryin' to draw a penalty and make your opponent go sit in the penalty box, a two-minute minor is good, but for the price of just a little of your blood, you can draw a major, ensuring that your pesky opponent will be chillin' his or her skates in the penalty box for a good four minutes.  Unless you get a goal.  What's that? ... Oh, relax, Big People.  It isn't even like there has to be a LOT of blood in order for the ref to call a four-minute penalty.  Just a drop or two, really. 

How this translates to the real world is that sometimes, in order to get what you really want, you're gonna hafta invest some of your blood and sweat into it.  You're gonna have to make a short-term sacrifice for a long-term payoff.  Power-plays don't just HAPPEN.  You've gotta earn 'em, and then when you get one, you can't squander it.  You put in the investment, so you WORK for that advantage you get for two or four minutes.  Don't quit now!

The next lesson I've learned while watching hockey is that you never know when the camera is gonna train itself on you, whether it's the Jumbotron camera right the heck at the arena, or whether it's the TV camera, panning over the crowd while the game either goes to or comes back from a TV time-out.  They catch people in all kinds of unflattering looks on their faces, Big People.  And it's super-funny to us watching at home, but IMAGINE being the person who comes home and watches the game they taped because they were there in person, and they see that they made it onto TV, but they were chewin' on a big pretzel, or maybe they had a look of constipation on their face, or maybe they got caught looking grumpy, and the commentators commentated on it.  That would be so mortifying.

This relates to the real world because yes.  It's best to remember that although you bought a ticket and you have the RIGHT to act or look or chew however you want, you probably shouldn't act in such a manner that will embarrass you if you end up on the big screen or on thousands of little screens or if you go viral on the YouTube.  I mean, unless you're seeking fifteen minutes of fame and planning on earning those fifteen minutes by sacrificing your dignity on the altar of celebrity, it's probably best not to act, dress, speak, look, or chew in such a way that other people will find so interesting that they feel the need to capture it on camera and commentate on it and upload it into the ether.  Because while it might be fun for the fifteen minutes, sooner or later, you're gonna get embarrassed.  So, just assume there's cameras everywhere, and be pleasant and not weird.  That's not bein' judgy.  No, the heck it is not!  That's bein' smart and practical.

The last lesson I would like to talk to you about is my favorite: "Dress like a goalie, fight like an enforcer."  Goalies get to wear the coolest masks on the ice... well, the only masks on the ice.  They get to decide how their headgear is decorated.  Everybody else wears the same kind of helmet.  Goalies wear all kinds of pads, to protect them from all the pucks that fly at them.  Goalies are the ultimate defenders.  In the same token, an enforcer is an ultimate defender, too, but different from a goalie.  In today's kinder, gentler NHL, enforcers are a dying breed.  But they're the fellas out there on the ice enforcing.  Somebody from the other side gets too close to your goalie in the crease?  Send your enforcer after him.  Somebody hits your star center without good reason?  Send in your third line, with your enforcer on it, and run the other team.  Not now, but there was a glorious day when you could get away with that as a coach. 

But the point of "Dress like a goalie, fight like an enforcer" is this, for real-world application: If you believe in something, be fierce.  Be willing to fight for it (not necessarily for-real fighting- in the real world, you just can't do that, and I'm glad!). Don't be afraid of the other guy and don't back down.  That's the enforcer part.  Dress like a goalie... protect yourself.  Be prepared for things to come flying at you.  Do what you have to do.  Armor yourself up, either with actual pads, or pretty much with what I mean- cultivate a thick skin, so pucks and barbs will bounce right off you.

Hockey's full of life lessons, Friends.  That's why I love my goalie gear so much.  That, and it protects me from the errant windowsill I could run my face into while having a spazz-fit at Aunt Colleen's house, but that's a story for another day.  Maybe.

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