Rage Against the Copy Machine

Then to add insult to injury, the Konica jammed up on me!

I'll tell ya what, Friends: I'm havin' a heck of a time at the office.  If it isn't meetings and all sortsa Red Tape, it's the darn equipment becoming self-aware apparently and gummin' up the works.

For instance, our mainframe TPS Reporting Hub went down again, which it seems to do periodically, which is why now that we've gone to Paperless TPS Reports, we still hafta fill 'em out in triplicate paper first, and then input them into the computer, and after we do that, and we get our Top Copy back from Central Data, down on the Lower Level, we hafta go to the copy machines and assemble all our Top Copies into Master TPS Reports for the Board, so we hafta make nine copies each of our Top Copies, collate, staple, and distribute them in the Cubbies upstairs on the second floor.  Then our original Top Copies are kept in a fireproof filing cabinet in Central Data, but they're separate from the Middle Copy and the Bottom Copies. 

Whatever happens to those copies, it's above my paygrade, and I just don't wanna know.

So of course, at Master TPS Report Compiling Time, there's a rush on our all-Konica fleet of copy machines.  Those Konicas are divas, too.  They know we need 'em to be on toppa their game... well, always, but especially at Master TPS Report Compiling Time.  And what do you think the Konicas do?  They jam up, break down, run outta toner, randomly make double-sided copies, except the other side of the copy is quarter-turned to the left or right so it just looks weird and isn't useful at all... and my personal favorite- they'll go off the Network, but only a handful of functions.  Not all of 'em.

Friends, I'm starting to think I've had Enough of my job.  I think it's finally driven me crazy.  I think it's time for me to just rage against the copy machine.

But I WOULD miss my friends in my department.  I really would, Big People.  We've managed to make the best of our circumstances, and we even manage to have a little fun, every day.  I'd miss that.  But I wouldn't miss those Konicas.  Not at all.

Hey.  I'll see ya tomorrow.  I love ya lots.  Thank goodness it's Friday, eh?  Muah!