HAPPY NATIONAL DONUT DAY!

What's that? ... Yes, I ordered ahead this year!

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiii-YA, Big People!  Do you know why I'm so exited?  It's finally National Donut Day!  I've been waiting all year for this, and have made sure my co-workers and I will be enjoying National Donut Day in style, eating all kinds of nice jelly donuts, and angel creme donuts, and Bavarian creme donuts, and Boston Creme Pie donuts, and powdered donuts, maple-glazed donuts, sprinkled donuts, crullers, bow-ties, fritters, bear-claws...

In other words, my co-workers and I are gonna do National Donut Day up right.  Not like last year.  I think I told you all about last year.  I put off ordering donuts last year until the last minute, because I didn't know what National Donut Day is all about, and the Donut Shop ran all out of donuts, so we ended up eating Little Chocolate Donuts from the bakery aisle at the grocery store.  I'm not saying I'd turn down a Little Chocolate Donut if there was no other donut to celebrate National Donut Day with, but I admit that I felt kinda lame for letting down my coworkers like that.

I know. Last year, I dropped the ball.

Now, I'm not sure where things like TimBitz or Munchkins fall on National Donut Day.  By rights, those things are donut holes, and you'd think that if someone from TimmyHo's or Dunkin' Donuts were astute, they'd come up with a National Donut Holes Day, the way Hallmark, Kay Jeweler, and Coleman Grills invented Mother's Day, Father's Day, and Valentine's Day.  You'd think they'd have that covered, National Donut Holes Day.  As far as I can find on the World Wide Web, though, is that there isn't a formal day set aside to celebrate Donut Holes. 

It's neither here nor there to me.  If I'm celebrating National Donut Day, I wanna make sure I celebrate with the great-big donuts I see you Big People eating all the time.  That's what I've ordered for my coworkers, and that's what we'll be eating in the Conference Room today!

Besides, another thing that leads me to believe that Donut Holes should get their own National Day, completely separate from National Donut Day, is that there's a whole saying, a creed if you will, that Donut Makers say:
"As you ramble through Life, Brother,
Whatever be your goal.
Keep your eye upon the doughnut,
And not upon the hole."

Be sure to celebrate donuts today, Friends!

That tells me right there that you fall into one of two camps: somebody who likes donuts, or somebody who likes donut holes.  I say for the sake of argument and also as an excuse to have two National Days a year devoted to donuts and donut products, somebody should enact a National Donut Hole Day as well. 

I guess, though, since there is no rule yet about what kind of donut you celebrate today, on this National Donut Day, celebrated on the first Friday of every June, and anticipated every Friday of the year, just be sure to celebrate some kind of donut, yes?  Creme-filled, glaze-dipped, or the hole variety, or heck, one of each.  I'm sure that to help counter-balance National Donut Day, there's bound to be a National Day of Celery and Carrots that you can take part in, coming up.

So anyway, Friends, Happy National Donut Day!

I love ya!  Muah!

Learning New Things Is Frustrating!

Ooooh!  Manners are tough!

Hiya, Friends! Boy, I've been busy lately, learning new stuff, and lemme tell ya something.  If you don't get it the first time, learning new things is frustrating!

Some things, I've been working on, they're pretty easy!  Learning the sign for "milk," and "apple!" and "banana!"- I love doing my sign-language!  Learning how to work the remote and put on a HAH!-key game, easy-peasy!  I'm even pretty handy to using the telephone.  I took to that like I was born to it!  Same way with eating big people food with big people utensils!  I stole Mommy's fork right out of her hand one day, and never looked back.

Walking, I struggled with for a little bit.  Learning to drink out of a sippy cup- I wasn't blogging here yet, but if you followed along over on the Facebook, you'll know I didn't like the sippy cup very much, but eventually I caught on, and I'm so glad I did.  Could you imagine being MY age, wandering around and still drinking out of a BOTTLE?!  I mean, I know there's little kids out there that do, but I just wouldn't want to still be drinking out of a bottle. Walking... walking, I had some issues with, until I went to Aunt Colleen's!  I wanted to wow her, so I ended up walking all around her living room, and became a toddler!

Please, won't you help me get manners?!

But this new New Thing I'm learning, boy does it ever have me all frustrated!  You know what it is?

Manners.

You know how I get all irritated about the way you Big People say one thing, but mean another thing.  Well, manners seem like another way to hide what you really want behind BigPeopleSpeak, which is confusing.  Or maybe it's just adding extra words to requests, and although I love to talk, I don't see the point of adding extra words!

For instance, when Mommy asks me if I need a nap, I say NO WAY!  Short, to-the-point, no extra words.  But Mommy says I need to say "No, thank you!" so that I don't sound rude.  And now, instead of just getting to say "Yeah!" when she asks me if I want milk, she says I should say "Yeah! Please!" if not "Yes, please!"  Why isn't it enough to say "Yeah!" anymore?  I remember the first time I did, Mommy said "Yay, Zoe!"

What?! I got it!  I said 'please!' Time to dance!

But now these bothersome manners have reared their heads.  It's a lot of work to have manners, Big People!  Hard work!  But I don't want to be a rude little kid, so like the sippy cup, and the walking, and some of the other New Things I've struggled with, I'm going to rise above the difficulty, and learn to be really good at manners.

There's always something new to learn, Friends.  Always a new way to be a better version of yourself.  I want to learn to be a better me, so if that means I hafta say "please" and "thank you," and "no thank you," I'm gonna do it.  Yes, I will. 

But if I yell or let an occasional, or not-so-occasional "NO WAY!" slip, please bear with me and be patient.  Remember, I'm still pretty new in the Land of the Big People, and I'm still learning how to fit in.

In the meantime, Friends, I love ya just the same!  Yes I do!  Muah!

One Second He Was Daddy, The Next, He was SCARY!

Went to the dentist yesterday and got scared!

Friends, yesterday, I had the weirdest experience!  See, I went with Mommy to her routine dentist appointment.  She was just having a cleaning!  Well, while she was busy getting her teeth cleaned, I got to play.  I hung out at the front desk, and I went into the toy room, and wandered around the waiting room like a Real Big Cheese.

Then, don't you know, that Mommy put ME in the dentist's chair.  Now, this wasn't my first time, sitting in the dentist's chair.  When we're at Daddy's office for whatever reason, Mommy will stick me in the chair and let me ride in it, and it's fun!

Wish I'd 'a' had Spidey Sense yesterday!

Yesterday, things were Different.

Yesterday, Mommy stuck me in the chair she'd been sitting in, and everybody was all around me.  I know everybody at Daddy's office!  I LIKE everybody at Daddy's office!  But this time at Daddy's office felt different.  Weird!  Daddy put the chair up high and leaned it back- with me in it!  And one second, he was Daddy, like I know Daddy, and the next, he had on gloves, and a mask, and he was SCARY! 

I have another tooth?  THAT's not news to me!

And to add to all that, he turned on the light, and it was bright, and it scared me, and I started crying.  I was ashamed of myself, but I couldn't stop myself.  I just humped up and bawled. 

Rozzie says she'll protect me next time!

Mommy jumped into the chair with me, and held onto me, but she didn't make Daddy turn off the light or take off his mask, so I was still kind of scared, only now I was scared and sitting on Mommy's lap.  Daddy looked into my mouth, and used a mirror, and said I'm getting a new tooth, a canine, and all I could think was "Well, duh, I coulda toldjya I was gettin' a new tooth!"  But all's I could SAY was 'WAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAH!'

I'm not really proud of myself.  Mommy said she was proud of me, and I got an orange toothbrush to bring home.  I love my orange toothbrush!  But I'm a little embarrassed about crying in front of everybody that works at Daddy's.  I'm a little embarrassed that I got so scared of my own Daddy.  I know him, for Pete's sake!  I love my Daddy!  I know he wasn't gonna hurt me! 

I lived through my first dentist visit!  All's well that ends well!

At least I got to go out to lunch with Daddy and some of the ladies that work with him.  They got to see I'm not histrionic, at least not any more than other kids my age.  It was fun.  I can even forgive my Daddy for scaring me with his mask and gloves.

If I wanna be a dentist someday, and I'm not saying I do, and I'm not saying I don't, I'd like to come up with a way not to scare little kids like me when they come to see me.  Maybe I can put smiley-face stickers on my mask?  I don't know.  But I'm definitely going to think on it!

 In the meantime, I'm just glad my visit to Daddy the Dentist was a short one. Friends, my Daddy's really nice, but I understand now, that mask is scary!  Be strong, Friends! Be strong!

Learn To Do My Dance!

Hey!  You!  Come dance with me!  It'll do ya some good!

Hiya, Friends!  Back a while ago, I came up with a dance that I like to call "The Zoe." You may or may not remember this.  I can't remember when I made up "The Zoe" dance, because it feels like I've been dancing it my whole entire life.  The one thing I'm sure about is that the way this incarnation of "The Zoe" is danced, I started doing after I got my land-legs under me.

"The Zoe" is easy to learn.  You just stand with your feet under you, and you bend side-to-side, like this: bend, bend, bend, clap-clap-clap, bend, bend, bend, clap-clap-clap!

That's the first part.  I wantchya to do it a few times to get comfortable with the moves, before I go teachin' you the rest.  There's gonna be some footwork involved, so I want you to be good and comfortable with the bend-bend-bend, clap-clap-clap part.  I have a couple tips for ya, too, Friends.  You can bend as much or as little as you want.  You just don't want to bend so much that it slows you down.  And you don't bend and clap at the same time.

Got it?  Okay, give it a try now!  Bend-bend-bend, clap-clap-clap, bend-bend-bend, clap-clap-clap.  Okay, the new part's coming up, so pay attention!  Whatchya do is walk around in a circle, either clockwise or counter-clockwise.  It doesn't matter to me if it doesn't matter to you.  Make it your favorite -wise!  Now, while you're walking in the circle, make Snow Angel Arms.  Do it kind of slow and graceful-like, not all birdsy-flappsy.

Maybe the best way to explain how fast to make your Snow Angel Arms is to make it kind of the same speed as what you're walking around in a circle.  Because they're connected to each other, the walk and the arms.  In fact, I just call the whole move "Snow Angel Arms," collectively.

"The Zoe" Dance is fun, like me!  Try it!

So once you've mastered that, you basically have the whole "The Zoe" down!  Wanna try it with me? 

Let's go!

Bend-bend-bend
Clap! Clap! Clap!
Bend-bend-bend
Clap! Clap! Clap!
now
Snow Angel Arms!
Snow Angel Arms!
and
Snow Angel Arms!
Strike a dramatic ending Pose!

Well done, Friends!

Dancin's good for what ails ya!

You know, "The Zoe" is a great dance to do when you're feeling down and need a pick-me-up, or when you're feeling happy and need to dance to show how happy you are, or when you have some nervous energy to burn off.  It's pretty much a great dance to do whenever you want or need to dance!  And as you've just found out, it's really easy to learn and do!

I thought about learning a new dance for the summer, the other day, Friends.  I thought "The Zoe" was too simple and silly, and I thought I needed a new dance.  Well, it was a mess, Friends.  All the fun was swooshed right out of dancing for me.  It made me sad!

Well, then, I decided dancing shouldn't make me sad or stressed out. Dancing should make me smile and laugh and make my heart dance, too!  So my dance is, and always will be "The Zoe" Dance, Friends!  I've gotta be true to me!  You can do my "The Zoe" Dance, but I encourage you to find a dance that's yours, too!   Then you can teach it to me! 

I really believe that you can't know too many dances, Big People.  You can't know how to do enough dances.  But if you're doing a dance that doesn't make you happy and doesn't let your heart dance, you've gotta find yourself another dance.  You've gotta be true to yourself, Friends.

Remember, I love ya!  Muah!

National Cupcake Day!

National Donut Day's comin!  Are you ready?

Hiya, Friends!  Happy Monday! 

Yesterday, over on the Facebook, when I was doing my show, I was talking about National Donut Day being this Friday (June 7th).  I'm super-excited about National Donut Day!  If you've been following along for any length of time, you'll know that I have quite a hungry spot in my belly for donuts. 

If you've been following along for any length of time, too, you'll know that I love cake.  Cupcakes, especially, and it got me wondering if there's a National Cupcake Day.  I found out that yes and no, there's a National Cupcake Day.  According to a website called American Food Holidays, December 15th is National Cupcake Day, but this is the only place on the World Wide Web I could find anything about it, and also there wasn't really an explanation.

You mean you can eat cupcakes AND help animals?

At another website, a blog for the Ontario SPCA, I found out that there's a National Cupcake Day in Canada, where people bake cupcakes and decorate 'em, and then have a cupcake party or gift people with cupcakes in order to encourage them to donate to the SPCA to help homeless and shelter-housed animals.  The first one was held on February 25th, this very year!  I think that's a great idea!

That's in Canada.  I'm in America, even though I understand that Canada's pretty much America Junior.  Still, though.  We're two separate countries.  So we can let Canada keep its National Cupcake Day on February 25th, and I'm thinking about getting a National Cupcake Day here in America. 

December 15th's nice and all, but I'd want my National Cupcake Day to be observed on the Sunday before Labor Day each year, on the same day as my birthday party.  I get cupcakes for my birthday.  At least I did for my birthday last year, and I've asked Mommy if I can have cupcakes again this year, and I'm pretty sure she'll say yes.  So I figure if I'm already eating cupcakes that day every year, everybody else, should.  And I love animals. I have my best friend Rozzie, and she's an animal.  A dog, actually.  Plus, there's the Little Giraffes I love to help. 

I'd like to get on board with National Cupcake Day!

So if you think of me on the Sunday before Labor Day every year, and bake up a batcha cupcakes and decorate 'em, and maybe have some people over for a barbecue, like I bet you do every year on the Sunday before Labor Day, you could eat the cupcakes with them, and mention that if they liked the cupcakes, they could consider making a donation to their local animal shelter, to help out the animals!  Every little bit helps!

The trick is not to be too obnoxious about it.  Don't do anything like stick a coffee can with change in it under their noses and shake it and yell "Save the clocktower!"  Or in this case, "Save the animals!"  Although, I suppose you could maybe do that, if your friends have eaten all your cupcakes and not chipped in anything for the animals.  But only do that coffee-can-shaking thing once.  After that, people won't take you seriously and they won't give you more money for the animals.

Gotta find my thinkin' cap!

A delicate balance between mousy and obnoxious.  That's how you've gotta be when collecting money for a charity, I think.  And the animals are a good cause, especially for a little kid to take up.  You know what I mean?

This is why I love the World Wide, Web, though, Friends.  All I wanted to know was whether or not there's such a thing as National Cupcake Day, since you know cupcakes are my favorite treats.  I found out that there IS such a thing in Canada, but ours in America doesn't have the focus.  If I can have my cupcakes and help out somebody else at the same time, I wanna sign up.  I wanna do that.  So I think I'm gonna work with my Mommy to start up a Cupcake Day, where we can bake cupcakes and collect money for our local animal shelter.  Start locally.  If it catches on, that'd be GREAT!  Thanks to the World Wide Web, I got this idea! 

And maybe I can also use the World Wide Web to spread the word about my idea and get some more Big People involved in it!  Let's face it.  I'm still just little.  I need big people's help on lotsa things, especially using the mixer and the oven.  But all of us working together will accomplish a lot!

I love ya, Friends!  This isn't the last time you'll hear from me about National Cupcake Day that I wanna start!  Muah!

When Life Gives Ya Little Wheels

Here it is!  My very own tractor!

 Well, Friends, remember a coupla weeks back, when I got to sit on Mommy's Big Orange Tractor, and I felt so great and like a big kid and everything?

Mommy got me all whipped up, telling me that she'd get me a tractor of my very own.  I had it in my head that it'd be a nice, big, orange tractor with a nice, wide mowing deck, and a bucket on the front, and headlights that turn on and off, and four-way flashers, and a three-point hitch so I can hook on other tools and accessories to my big orange tractor.  Boy, was I really excited!

And I got an orange tractor all right.  Yes, I did.  Take a look at the pictures and see.  It's right there.  It isn't trick photography to make me look like Zoe-Zilla and make the tractor look tiny.  I'm still me-sized, and the tractor is tiny.  I mean, really, really tiny.  It's not even like it's a pedal-tractor or anything.  We're talking about something bigger than a Matchbox, but smaller than even a pedal tractor.

Now, there's a couple ways I can approach this situation, Friends.  First, I could get all mad and feel like I was tricked, because I was tricked.  I could lie down on the floor and kick my legs and scream.  I could do those things.  I mean, I could do 'em pretty darn well.  I think that's supposed to be my new thing, the kicking and screaming.  I've seen other people in my cohort go that route with varying degrees of success.

As you can see, I can hold it in my hands.

The thing of it is, the kicking and screaming card's one you can play only once on each of your big people.  It's true, Friends! The first time you lie down on the floor and kick and scream, it's like 'woah!' and the Big People take notice.  You've got to do it in the right time and place for maximum impact, and only in a dire situation.  I tend to think you wanna play that card when lotsa people are around, and you're trying to force your Big People's hands, and for Pete's sake, don't use the kicking and screaming on more than one of your Big People at once, or you've blown it for next time you need it!

If you do it more than once in front of a Big People, it loses its impact and you lose your credibility.  It isn't a passionate plea for something you really want (or something you really DON'T want).  It gets compressed and minimized into your having 'a toddler moment,' and trust me, it's always said in a condescending way.  That's what my Mommy does to me, whenever I even start like I'm gonna flip out and lie on the floor and kick and scream.  She does this annoying thing where she claps her hands and says 'Are we having a toddler moment, Zo?' and then she goes and does something else.

No, Mommy.  'We' are not having a toddler moment.  Just me!

I've had a lot of 'toddler moments' fail to launch.  I guess it's just as well, so now I can save that card for when I really need it.

I'm gonna sit on it and ride it, anyway!  How ya like THEM apples, Mommy?

And I don't think I really need that particular card for this.  I mean, that little orange tractor Mommy got me is kind of neat.  I don't hafta worry about running out of diesel fuel and figuring out the Yellow Can.  I don't hafta worry about a flat tractor tire.  Those things are heavy, I understand!  I can take my little orange tractor anywhere I want to take it.  I don't hafta worry about where I'm gonna park it to keep the rain off it, or covering it in a tarpaulin if there's noplace inside to park it.

So I'm going to approach my disappointment in not getting a big orange tractor right now with a sense of humor.  That tractor's little, I'm little, and I'm still gonna ride it.  In fact, there I am, riding my tractor, in the picture up above.

My Big People might think they're oppressing me by giving me little wheels instead of big ones, but I'll tell ya what, Friends, wheels is wheels, and this girl's ready to ride!

Ha!

Happy June!

Looks like another scorcher!

Hiya, Friends!  Well, it's June, and with this weather, it's like summer's saying "Hi there, People!  I'm here, so get out your short pants and inflatable swimming pools!"

That's what I pretty much plan to do, Friends. 

Also, you know what I've been doing?  Wearing sunscreen.  Boy that's funny stuff, the sunscreen!  The kind I have has a blue lizard on the bottle, and it's called Blue Lizard SPF.  When it squirts out of the bottle, and I put it on my skin, it stays bright-white for a long time!  Mommy says that's so we don't miss any spots!

Apparently, you don't wanna mess with the sun, even when you're little like me.  So I'm not gonna.

Big People, please wear your sunscreen, too.  Every day.  I know it's messy and smells funny, but it sure beats having to have surgery or something.  You know what I'm saying?

We're gonna need some popsicles!

I also think it's a good idea to wear sun goggles, like I do.  I saw on the Internet that there's this thing called cataracts that make your eyes cloudy, and you get 'em because of the sun.  Sun goggles protect your eyes, and guess what- they're fun to wear!

You need a nice hat to wear in the sun, too, Friends.  Mommy went out without a hat a coupla weeks ago and had a sunburn on her head, and she has LONG hair!  That right there convinced me to put on a hat whenever I go outside!  I don't care how silly I look.  I like to think I look fabulous, and I'm not getting any sunburn on the top of my head and feeling like a curling iron sat on my skin, I'll tell you that much!

It's important in this hot weather to drink lotsa water!  If you don't like water, you can have popsicles!  How about that?  I think that's what makes summer so much fun, Big People!  Popsicles.  And bubbles and big hats. 

Happy June!