Zoe's Wintertime Road Safety Tips

Babies, it's cold outside!

Hiya, Friends!  Well, as you know, we're having an arctic blast in my part of the world.  Not the kind of arctic blast that's superfun like going sled-riding or skiing, where if your friends ask you what you did over the weekend, and if you were out sled-riding or skiing, you could say "I HAD AN ARCTIC BLAST!"

No.  This arctic blast is being called a "Polar Vortex," and it's making for some snargly road conditions.  Blowing snow.  Black ice.  Slippy-slidey conditions.  Although, I've gotta say, I think "Polar Vortex" sounds like something you'd have an Arctic Blast on.  I'm seeing this big, funnel-shaped sledding run, where ya ride on an inflatable snow disc, and just go around and around and around in the Polar Vortex until it eventually spits you out at the ski lodge, where you can have a big mugga hot cocoa and all the marshmallows ya want.

Didja catch that, Pop-Pop?  I said ALLLLLL the marshmallows!  Hahaha!

Okay.  It's time to get serious, though.  Wintertime road safety is no joke, Friends.  A lot can go wrong out there on the roads this time of year, and I wanna make sure all my friends are as safe as can be, so I've compiled this list of wintertime safety tips.  Ready?

Be prepared for anything in this cold weather, Friends.  Make sure your cellular telephone is charged up.  Make sure you have one of those neato-pequito flashlights with the crank on the side, and maybe some FREDS- Flashing Roadside Emergency Disks.  It's a thing.  Search it on Amazon.  Or ThinkGeek.com.

Besides a cellular telephone and lighting devices, you'd better pack along a pair of nicey warm boots to wear if you DO find yourself off the road and in a ditch.  You'll also wanna pack a warm blanket, maybe one with a waterproof backing, just in case your winter weather woes involve a flat tire.  Putting the nicey warm, waterproof blanket on the ground while you change the tire will keep you dryer, and warmer.  But if your wintertime emergency doesn't involve changing a tire, you'll still want the blanket to wrap up in and keep warm if ya get stranded.

I'm serious about winter road safety!

Also bring along a hat and some mittens, and a good warm coat, in case ya hafta do some walkin' outside.

You should have along a bag of kitty litter.  No, not because the winter is a giant snow leopard that'll claw out your eyes if you don't have a peace offering for it (make no mistake: Winter IS a giant snow leopard that'll claw your eyes out, but peace offerings don't seem to make much difference).  No.  If ya find yourself off'n' the road, not in a ditch so much, but you're spinnin' your wheels, and you think 'If I could just get some traction!' well, cat litter's your best friend.  Ya sprinkle a little bit under your wheels, get back in your car, and ease on down the road.

In a similar vein, you oughhta get either a portable snow shovel, or one made for little kids, that'll fit in your car, so you can dig your car out of a snowbank enough for its wheels to drive.

Yesterday, when I rode to Wellsville with Mommy in the crummy weather, I realized the importance of having enough washer fluid for the windshield along.  With all that salty spray flying around in the air, you don't wanna find yourself driving down the road with your "Refill Washer Fluid" courtesy light on.  Have an extra jug along.

Don't forget your ice scraper and windshield brush.  You oughtta have that in your car all the time in the winter!

Some things that I got to thinkin' about while I was riding along in the automobile yesterday aren't as obvious, like FOOD!  I don't know aboutchyoo, Friends, but if I were stuck in the car, waiting for help, I would get hungry.  Not everything can stay in the car, but granola bars are a good thing to have, because they don't freeze solid, and they keep for months!

Water, too!  We can go longer without food than we can go without water, but there's a trick to this one.  You wanna keep your water in a bag by the door, so you can grab it on your way to your automobile, and then bring it back in when you come in from your uneventful road trip.  You wanna know why?

Stay safe, Friends.  Zoe loves ya alive!

Oh, this is a biggie, Friends.  You don't wanna leave your water out in your car when it's cold because if you do, through some magical process I don't know what it is and am totally mystified by, your water will turn from water you can just drink, right through a straw sippy cup, even! into cold, hard ice.  And you can't drink cold, hard ice through a straw.

Yes, I left my sippy cup in the Jeep recently, and was dismayed to find that it had frozen.  Learn from my mistake, Friends.

That's what I can think of now, Friends.  I'm no expert, so I'm pretty sure this isn't a comprehensive list.  What I hope to have accomplished by today's web log post is to get you thinkin' about wintertime road safety, so you don't take it for granted that you're gonna have a safe trip.  Things happen.  Oh, lord, do things ever happen.  I hope that you'll seek out other sources on the Internet to help you put together your wintertime roadside emergency safety kit.  And maybe while you're there, you can brush up on pointers to drive safely in the wintertime.

I've sent in a suggestion to my state's Department of Transportation, suggesting that during the wintertime, they put bumpers in the ditches like they do at the bowling alley, to keep your bowling ball from going in the gutter, but so far, I haven't heard back.  I think gutter bumpers are a BRILLIANT idea, but until I bring PennDOT around to my way of thinking, it's probably best if everybody drives as safely as possible, especially when we find ourselves having an Arctic Blast in a Polar Vortex such as we are right now.

Be safe out there, Friends!  Zoe loves ya alive!  Muah!

All I'm Sayin' Is Give Monday a Chance!

Just like at the beginning of the year, anything's possible on a Monday!

Hiya, Friends!  Hey.  Happy First Monday of the New Year!

I know none of us are really fans of Mondays.  At least we weren't back in 2013, but this year's all new and shiny and bright (that's why I'm wearin' shades in my picture for today- because of that oldie called "The Future's So Bright, I Hafta Wear Shades!!!") and I had a talk with Monday, and Monday says if we can just have a little patience with it and not be all grumbly when we see it coming, it'll be a whole lot nicer to us here in 2014.

Can we give Monday a chance, Friends?

It's all about perception.  It is.  I've decided that I'm gonna be excited for Mondays this year, because Mondays are like a mini New Year's Day, and we get it once a week!  I don't mean with the big, expensive, fabulous parties on Sunday Night.  I mean they're like a mini New Year's Day every week because if you're gonna start up something to improve yourself, it usually takes effect on a Monday.  If you're gonna start a new job, it usually starts up on a Monday.  If there's a notable holiday over a weekend, it's usually observed on a Monday (how about that?!)

See, Monday's aren't all bad.  And I'm learnin' that if I want something in life, that's the very thing I need to give away.  I want Monday to love and respect me, and not make me sad and miserable and not to be ambivalent about me, so instead of waitin' for Monday to make the first move, I'm gonna show Monday love and respect and make it happy, and I know it's gonna show the same consideration to me.

Give it a try, Friends!  Instead of sayin' 'Ugh, Monday!' today, how 'bout ya give Monday a great big hug and say 'I had a GREAT weekend, Monday, and I'm so glad to see you so I can start the whole thing over again this week!  It's good to see ya!  Let's have an adventure!'

It's all about perception, Friends.  It really is.

All right.  Let's get crackalackin' on this.  Make it a great day!  I'll see ya tomorrow, and I love ya lots-n-lots!  Muah!

Inside the Imaginatron 3100

I'm always a little nervous before I fly a new Imaginatron!

Hiya, Friends!  I betchya didn't know that besides hosting my Facebook program The Daily Zoe, writing this very blog, working in an office filling out TPS reports, and being a Toddler About Town, I'm an Imaginatron test pilot.  Didja know that?

What's that?  You don't know what an Imaginatron is, let alone that they have test pilots?

Well, lemme tell ya all about Imaginatrons.

To the untrained eye, an Imaginatron looks like a plain old box.  It can be any shape or size, and a good Imaginatron can be anything or take you anywhere.

The sky's not even the limit in an Imaginatron!

I started out in small Imaginatrons that are usually used for pretending to be cars or boats or little bi-planes. 

These smaller Imaginatrons are the 2100 series.  I love a good Imaginatron 2100!

There are bigger Imaginatrons.  One time, I test-piloted a 4100, which looked like a plain, white room.  In that Imaginatron 4100, I went for a spacewalk.  It was intimidating and also very, very exciting.

I hafta remember to relax and open my imagination right up.

My most recent test piloting experience, though, was a nimble Imaginatron 3100.  The 3100 series is larger than the 2100, but not as big as a 4100 or a 5100-series Imaginatron.  I can fit all the way inside an Imaginatron 3100, like a space capsule, or a space shuttle, or a big airplane, or a submarine. 

Actually, the Imaginatron 3100 is the most versatile of the Imaginatrons.  They can be anything you want them to be, but they're still pretty portable.

So I test-piloted this 3100 on an intergalactic mission to a faraway planet, to visit Little Green Men, or LGMs.  There were Little Green Women and Little Green Boys and Girls, but they refer to themselves collectively as LGMs, for efficiency's sake.  They were fascinated by the package of Willy Wonka Bottle Caps I brought with me, so I left it for them to share.  I don't really have a Prime Directive or anything when I go flying and exploring in an Imaginatron, because I'm limited only by what I can imagine.  It's empowering.  I've spoken with other intergalactic adventurers who DO have to stick to a Prime Directive, and it can be a little bit hobbling.  I don't have that.

I go off-planet or out of our galaxy, even out of our dimension a lot when I test-pilot an Imaginatron, because Imaginatrons lend themselves easy to that kind of exploration.  However, the Powers That Be wanted to know how the Imaginatron would perform closer to home, so I had a submarine mission, where I visited the bottom of the Marianas Trench!  I saw all kinds of sea life.  All kinds of weird, deep-sea creatures!

I love my job as an Imaginatron test pilot!

I also traveled to the Lost City of Atlantis and visited with some of the habitants there.  As it turns out, the Lost City of Atlantis isn't so much lost as it is unlisted.  That's right, everybody in the City of Atlantis just got tired of all the unsolicited telephone calls and pre-approved credit card offers and just made themselves Unlisted Under the Sea.  How about that?!

I'm sorry, though.  I can't tell ya where the Lost City of Atlantis is.  Before they'd let me come home, I had to agree to having the coordinates wiped out of my navigational instruments.  Otherwise, I'd be working in a pizzeria in Atlantis.

I've said too much.

I think being an Imaginatron Test Pilot is one of my favorite jobs that I have.  I love going places.  It can be risky sometimes, but I always find my way home.  I always do.  And I'm happier for the adventures I have in an Imaginatron. 

Speaking of the Imaginatron, Friends, I've got a flight in five minutes.  I've gotta go, but I'll be right back here to check in with ya tomorrow.  I love ya lots, Friends!  Muah!

Four Saturdays in a Row!

Good Lord, what day is it?

Hiya, Friends!  Well, this week has been something else.  Not in a bad way.  Just in a weird way!

I know I went onandon earlier in the week about how the holidays were coming to a close, and all my favorites were going to Pittsburgh, but it hasn't really been that bad a week.  I miss seein' everybody like I got to last week, but I still had a good week, watchin' all my favorite holiday specials on the DVR again, and catching up with my favorite, Daniel Tiger. 

What makes this week something else, but not in a bad way, just in a weird way is that ever since New Year's Day on Wednesday, it's felt like Saturday.  It feels like we're having four Saturdays in a row!

See, Daddy went to work on Monday and Tuesday, so those days felt like Monday and Tuesday.  Tuesday night is when things got weird. 

Is it actual Saturday, or just a Saturday look-alike?

You see, usually Tuesday nights are the blah-est of blah-nights at the beginning of the week, but on this just-past Tuesday night, Mommy and Daddy let me stay up right until after Midnight, so I could greet the New Year.  That was really cool, but it definitely made me feel like I wasn't in Tuesday anymore, Toto!  I think when I woke up from my nap Tuesday, I was transported from The Land of Tuesday to another dimension! 

A dimension of Endless Saturday!

See, after Tuesday, Daddy's not goin' back to work until Monday!  I know a lot of people had it the opposite way around.  They didn't work on Monday or Tuesday, but they had to go back to work on Thursday, so their string of Saturdays never got started like mine did.

I'm definitely not complaining!  Saturdays are my FAVORITE day of the week, closely seconded by Friday, and to a lesser degree, Sunday.  So if I have to start a New Year off with a string of four days, I'm tickled pink that in 2014, I got to start it off with four Saturdays.

Four Saturdays in a row isn't a bad way to start the New Year!

Things like this make me feel like I'm a lucky little kid, Friends.  Some folks wouldn't see this as anything extraordinary, getting to start a year off with four Saturdays in a Row, but I sure see it as extraordinary. 

I believe if ya think you're lucky, Friends, you really are.  That's how I feel, Friends.  That's what I think and believe.  It's all about how ya look at things.  You could say my worldview is naive, because I haven't been here all that long, but I think it's all about how you look at things.  If ya wanna see your own luck and see the good side of things, that's what you're gonna see. 

That's what I see!

That's what I'm gonna keep seein' in the New Year, Friends, even after my Four Saturdays in a Row has come to an end.  Because I have a good thing going here. 

You do too, Friends.  You really do, too.  I love ya lots!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Resolution Revolution

As it turns out, they're not New Year's Revolutions.

Hiya, Friends!  Well, I have a little bit-o-correctin' to do today.  Remember how yesterday I said we needed to make some New Year's Revolutions?  It turns out I was wrong.

They're not called "New Year's Revolutions."  In fact, there's no such thing.  I misunderstood, entirely.

Although, in my defense, as I touched on yesterday, a New Year's Resolution CAN revolutionize your life, if you pick the right one, and you follow through with it.  So you can see how I would have gotten confused and thought that we make revolutions instead of resolutions.

I'm not gonna let it get me down, Friends.  I'm not gonna get embarrassed.  I learn about things by makin' mistakes, if you believe it!

I goofed up, but I'm not gonna cry about it!

Well, I think we all learn stuff about things by makin' mistakes and learnin' from our mistakes.  I'm pretty sure that's how it works.  So I'm not gonna be embarrassed about my confusion.

Now it's time to buckle down and make some serious New Year's Resolutions!  I'll start!

You know, this year, I resolve not to be pushed around about the potty.  It's been a recurring theme in my life, "Zoe, why don't you use the potty?!" since oh... since I was 18 months old.  And I'll tell ya what, Friends.  It's gotten pretty old.  So no more.  I'm just gonna click my ears off in 2014 when the conversation clicks over to "Zoe, how 'bout usin' the potty!"  That's what I'm gonna do!

Let's get this show on the road, Friends!

I'm gonna stay up later in 2014, Friends.  Mommy likes to send me to bed pretty early.  Why, eighterninaclock at night!  At that point, the night is still young!  I think that by going to bed, I'm missing out on lotsa fun stuff!  And I proved the other night, on New Year's Eve, that I can stay up until tomorrow.  I've proven that I'm built to last.  I have boundless energy.  Goin' to bed early is for chumps, Friends, and this kid isn't gonna be a chump in this, the New Year!

Also, something else I resolve to do this New Year, Friends, is to master this alphabet thing.  Learn to count to 30. Maybe 40.  Haven't decided yet.  In 2013, I got the colors down pat when I thought I'd never get them, but now I know all the primaries, secondaries, and tertiaries!  How about that?!

Most of all, I'm gonna be right here, every day, Friends!  I am resolved to drop in and see ya every day here in 2014.  We'll talk about lotsa fun stuff.  Cupcakes and colors.  Crayons and chocolate.  Friends, I can't wait to get started! 

Let's get 2014 on the road, Friends!  I love ya lots!  See ya tomorrow!  Muah!

New Year's Revolution!

What should I do for my New Year's Revolution?

Hiya, Big People!  Well, I didn't get into this yesterday because I wanted 2014 to get nicey settled in as the New Year before I started harpin' on everybody for their New Year's Revolutions, but it's already the second day of the New Year, and we haven't talked Revolutions yet, so that's what we're gonna do today.

I know that New Year's Revolutions are a touchy topic with you Big People.  I know ya either love 'em or hate 'em.  I know it's hard to stick to New Year's Revolutions, and it upsets ya if you end up fallin' off your New Year's Revolution.

On the other hand, if ya make the RIGHT New Year's Revolution, it can revolutionize your life! 

I think that's why they call 'em New Year's Revolutions!  Make a little change and revolutionize your life!

Why's it called a New Year's Revolution, anyway?

I've been thinking about this for weeks, what I'm gonna do for my New Year's Revolution.  There were a lotta things I considered adopting as my revolution.  There really were!

For instance, Friends, I thought about making it my New Year's Revolution to eat more fiber and to drink more water, you know, so I can keep healthy.  I thought about making it my New Year's Revolution to read my books more closely and carefully, the way a literature professor would.  That way I wouldn't miss any of the little details that weave together to make stories like Curious George  and Dr. Seuss and the Julius books the rich, rich tapestries they really are. 

I also thought about learning to use the potty for my New Year's Revolution.  Shorta bein' born and learnin' to eat solid food, I don't know how I could possibly revolutionize my life any more than if I learned to use the potty!

...Maybe it's because you make a change in your life, and it revolutionizes you?

But I decided against that, pretty quickly.  You know what?  I'll get to the dang ol' potty when I get to it.  I'm not gonna put all kindsa pressures on myself, attaching it to a whole big thing like a New Year's Revolution, and then fail at it and feel bad about myself for it. 

This girl's not gonna play that game, Big People.  I'm just not playin' that game!  Settin' myself up and knockin' the floor out from under myself!  I've seen how it goes with you Big People, when your New Year's Revolutions fall by the wayside!

Whaddaya think, Rozzie? Should we be more fabulous this year?

Plus, that dang ol' Mommy has a way of takin' the fun out of everything, especially goin' to the potty.  It's all I hear about these days, and frankly, I'm over it.  Every time she mentions it, I've decided I'll stay off the potty for another month.  At the rate we're goin', I'll be in diapers until sometime in early Twenty-Twenty! 

How do you like THAT, Mommy!  Do ya think you're so smart, nagging me now?!  Ha!

Where was I?

Oh yeah.  Those are the things I thought about for my New Year's Revolutions.  They were all worthy Revolutions.  Even all that malarkey about the potty.  It could be a good goal for someone who's so inclined!  It could be!

Let's ALL be more fabulous in '14, Friends!

I was really stumped on this one.  I really was.  So I talked to my good pal Rozzie-Dog about it, and she came up with the PERFECT New Year's Revolution for me.  She said that this year, instead of picking a giant revolution and orbiting around it this year, and getting myself all hopped up on it, and then getting myself all let down if I don't get it, Rozzie says I oughtta focus on bein' the best I can be every day, to do my best on little details, and the big stuff will take care of itself. 

So that's what I'm gonna do, Friends.  Instead of gettin' all overwhelmed by not knowing how to tackle the big strokes, I'm gonna focus my attention and energy on making the little moments in my life count.  I'm not gonna get upset if I trip up.  I'll learn from my mistakes and treat 'em as steppin' stones.  I'll get back up if I stumble.  I'll always have a pair of good sunglasses with me, and I'll also hug Rozzie lots.  Those are my solid New Year's Revolutions, Friends!  Nothing huge.  Nothing world-shaking or ginormous.  Just a buncha stuff that all adds up to me tryin' to be as fabulous as I can be in Twenty-Fourteen. 

I'm sure glad I've got Rozzie to talk me through stuff like this!  I love that dog!

Anyway, Friends, don't sweat these New Year's Revolutions!  It doesn't have to be a big thing to make a big change in your life!  I love ya, Big People, and I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Hi!  You you doin' in Twenty Fourteen?  Feel any different?

Heya, Friends!  It's me, your pal Zozie, reporting from The Future!  It's 2014!  How about that?!

HAPPY NEW YEAR! 

So, I was just wondering if I was supposed to feel any different, now that it's a new year.  I really don't remember feelin' any different last New Year's.  I don't feel different this New Year's, and I'm wonderin' if it's just me, or if nobody really feels different on New Year's, except maybe the new year.

See, Mommy and Daddy let me stay up to watch the New Year come in, but I sure had to fight-n-scrap-n-make up for it with extra naps yesterday.  Those killjoys. They said I've been up way past my bedtime all through Christmas, and I've been off my schedule, and it's made me a little cranky. I know I shouldn't complain, since I DID get to stay up for the biggest stayin' up late holiday of the year, but I feel like saying I get cranky when I stay up late is an injustice.

Didja give the New Year a great big hug when it got here?

You know what makes me cranky, Big People?  Mommy and Daddy sayin' I'm cranky because I've been stayin' up and bein' off my schedule.  That's what makes me cranky.

Self-fulfilling prophecy, that is.  That's what I am!  I'm the victim of a self-fulfilling prophecy that I didn't even prophesize!  It isn't fair!  Why, that's like sitting at the table in a Chinese restaurant, and somebody at your table gets a lousy fortune like "You will stub your toe when you leave!" and insteadda them stubbing their toe, YOU stub YOUR toe on your way out the restaurant.

There's gotta be an elegant, impressive-sounding German word for that kind of thing.  Those Germans sure do have a way of puttin' impressive-sounding words onto things that describe the human condition.  There's gotta be a word for precisely what I'm describing- being the victim of someone else's self-fulfilling prophecy or getting somebody else's lousy fortune delivered to you instead of to the person who opened the fortune cookie with the lousy fortune in it! 

It's so great to be here in 2014, Friends! 

What was I talking about? ...

Oh yeah!  Anyway, ringing in the New Year last night was the weirdest thing!  One second, it was 2013, and then it was like it was magically 2014 and I was gettin' schuschelled off to bed.  I guess that's why I was wonderin' if I oughtta feel any different. 

Wait a minute!  Actually I DO feel a little different here in 2014!  I feel hopeful!  I feel hopeful that this year's gonna be better.  I feel hopeful that I'm gonna learn from the rough times and celebrate big in the good times.  That's what I feel now that it's 2014!  Can't do anything about anything in 2013, but we're in control of what we do in 2014!  Yes we are!  Fresh starts all around!

Friends, I'll see ya right back here, bright-n-early tomorrow, mmmmmmkay?  I sure love ya lots!  Muah!

And HAPPY NEW YEAR!  Again!