I LOST MY FIRST TOOTH!

I look like Jack O. Lantern kinda!

Happy Wednesday to ya!

Friends, I have big news!  Last night, my tooth finally came out!

I didn't plan on my tooth comin' out.  I'd spent the day at my Grandma Blake's.  I ate meatloaf and potatoes and had THREE desserts and had just gotten home and was sittin' in the chair with Mommy, enjoyin' some Bug Art and Toca Band on the dang ol' iPad, when I mentioned casually to Mommy that my tooth was pretty loose.

She told me to have Daddy look at it.

Friends, my Daddy's a dentist.  That can only mean one thing.  They were gonna use tools to yank out my tooth right the heck before bed!  So I got super-nervous.

Mommy gave Daddy one of her cotton squares for doin' her nails, though, and Daddy said all he was gonna do is look at my tooth and see if it would dance.  This sounded just ridiculous enough to be benign... after a few minutes of persuasion on the part of my parents.

So I let Daddy make my tooth dance, and it just danced right outta my mouth, easy-peasy like!  My tooth right behind it has grown up pretty fast over the last few weeks, and there's hardly a hole where the baby tooth was.  It's a heck of a lot easier to brush my new tooth now!  And, it was gettin' pretty bothersome, havin' to nurse that loose tooth.  All's I had to deal with was a lot of anxiety on my part, a little POP! when the tooth danced out, and a wee bit of bleeding.  But Daddy says I have excellent clotting time.  This morning, I am right as rain again, except now, I am two quarters richer, and I have a brand new tooth to take care of!

Friends, I'm gonna go bask in the glow of this monumental moment.  I'll see ya tomorrow.  I love ya lots!  Muah!

Believe the Pigasus

I'll believe it when pigs fly, but you know what?  I Believe it now!

Hiya, Big People!  Happy Tuesday to you!

Well, ya know, yesterday I told ya all about Hampton the Rubber Puckie, and today, I'll tell ya all about my pal Believe the Pigasus.

Believe is a pig with wings, which is difficult enough to imagine, but as it turns out for me, I don't hafta imagine it, because Believe and I enjoy breakfast together every day while we discuss the latest happenings in the world and on the television.

But calling Believe a pig with wings is inaccurate.  Just as Hampton is part pig, part rubber duckie, Believe is part pig, part Pegasus, which is a winged horse.  So Believe is part pig, part winged horse, for those of you keepin' track on your charts.

Believe is one of those beings that just makes you think anything's possible, because it is.  What's the saying that's always bein' bandied about in moments of disbelief?  "I'll believe it when pigs fly!"  Well, thanks to my pal Believe the Pigasus, I believe it now.  I see the magic in the world. 

How the heck right about that?!

Friends, I hope you get to meet a Believe the Pigasus of your very own.  I hope you get to see the wonder.  I love ya lots, and I'll be seein' ya tomorrow, mmmkay?  Muah!

Hampton the Rubber Puckie

A Rubber Puckie will never rat-fink you out to Santa OR your folks!

Hiya, Big People!  Happy Monday to you!

So!  How's it going?  Didja have a great Thanksgiving Weekend like I did?  I sure hope so!

Well, yesterday, I spoke to you about how you just cannot trust a shelf-elf, but today, I want to talk to ya about my pal Hampton the Rubber Puckie. 

You see, Hampton the Rubber Puckie is part pig, part duckie, therefore he's a Puckie, and he's a friendly ol' cuss, if I can say so myself, which I will!

Hampton is a great friend to me.  Because he's rather chimerical in nature, he can see all angles and perspectives of a situation, therefore encouraging and advising me to be my very best.  He's a hands-on holiday advisor, rather than being a passive-aggressive and laissez-faire spy, allowing me to just do bad things then finking me out for it.

You know, it's just kid nature to find our limits by testing them.  I don't think we oughtta suffer Christmassal punishments for just bein' kids!

What's that?

Oh yeah.  Back to Hampton the Rubber Puckie.  Well, ya know, Hampton has come to live with me.  We like to watch Odd Squad together and then invent our own adventures in a land where Rubber Puckies are the unremarkable norm, rather than a curious curiosity as they are in this world.  Coincidentally, in the world of the Puckies, Pigasuses are also quite normal.  But that's a story for another day.

I love ya lots, Big People.  I'll be seein' ya tomorrow!  Keep capturing those Elves on Shelves!  They're just bad news!

Muah!

An Elvish Conspiracy

I have in my hand an Elvish Spy!

Hiya, Big People!  How are you this Sunday?

Well, ya know, it's that time of year when all over the country, Little Kids' homes are bein' invaded by elves purportedly sent to spy on them by the Big Man in Red: Santa Claus Himself.

I have it on the authority of S.C.Himself that the Shelf Elf Intelligence Agency is not an organization sanctioned by the North Pole Nation.  They DID usedta work for Santa, but they all went rogue.

The situation now is that there's an entire legion of rogue Elf-Spies in Little Kids' homes, intimidating Little Kids into bein' havin' here during the Holiday Season, for if the Little Kids act up, the word is the Elves report straight to Santa Claus Himself, and from there S.C. Himself puts said Little Kid on the Naughty List and brings that kid underwear and socks for Christmas and no toys.

Santa Claus Himself has told me that this just isn't the way he operates.  He tried this punitive system back in the Twentieth Century, for a time, but he realized that sometimes Little Kids act out not because they're naughty, but because they're tired, bored, overwhelmed, overscheduled, or lookin' for attention from increasingly preoccupied parents, among other things.  Santa Claus Himself has told me that there's no such thing as a naughty Little Kid, only Good Little Kids who act naughty sometimes.  And in his extensive research over the centuries, he's learned that even Little Kids with naughtier tendencies have good hearts in 'em, and that sometimes, showin' 'em a little love, givin' 'em a little kindness at Christmas can plant niceness in their hearts.  But conversely, a Little Kid who's gotten tired and acted out sometimes just can't catch a break.

The way Santa Claus sees it, Christmas comes around once a year.  One month outta the year for strictly adhering to an elf-induced, intimidation-based behavior plan isn't enough to foment real long-term behavior habits in a Little Kid.  There needs to be consistency the whole year through.  So no, Santa Claus Himself is NOT supportive of the SEIA or its activities and practices.

So who is it that the Elves on Shelves report to?  Who are they in cahoots with, Friends?  Well, I'll tell ya, but you'd better sit down, buckle up, and hang onto your hats.

Friends, they're in cahoots with Parents.  Parents themselves employ the SEIA to rat-fink on their VERY OWN KIDS!   And it has to stop!

Not to worry.  I have a plan.  If you're a Little Kid and you see an Elf on the Shelf member of the rogue spy agency SEIA in your very house, keepin' an eye on ya, you capture that Elf and incarcerate the Elf in a safe, secure spot in your home, where the Elf cannot see you, but not where the Elf is suffering.  Maybe put in a little television set for the Elf to be entertained by, but not a "smart" one the Elf can use to alert an extraction team or anything.  Of course, provide comfort facilities for your Elvish prisoner, perhaps a nice little kitchenette so the Elf can prepare his or her own meals for the duration of the Holiday Season.  Certainly provide a little food for the Elf.  And then after the Christmas Season, send the Elf back to the SEIA.

You will have taken the SEIA Agent Elf out of the game for the entire Holiday Season, so he or she cannot spy on you or any other Little Kids for the duration, and also, because you showed the Elf such kindness, you may well could turn the Elf around to bein' on the side of the Little Kids.

Fight the power, Little Kids!  Fight the power!

Big People, I still love ya lots, but I've gotta side with my people right now.  Learn from us!  Muah!

A Whole Lotta Commercials

I saw a buncha commercials and not a lotta parade.

Hiya, Big People!  Happy Saturday to you!

Well, ya know, Friends, there was a parade on the television I've been lookin' forward to watchin' for months now.  You mighta heard of it.  The dang ol' Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.

I was so excited about listenin' to the big marching bands and seein' all the balloons of my fravrite cartoon characters and such, and you know what it turned out to be?  A buncha boring people singing on stages in theatres, then they'd show a balloon, the talking heads would talk, talk, talk about how they're Cali girls or Cali boys or whatever, but they LOOOOOOOOOVE New York City on Thanksgiving, because of the parade, but they weren't even lookin' at the parade.

And then they'd go to commercial.

Friends, there were more minutes of commercials than anything else, and then the dumb people hosting the parade just talked over everything.

So the point is that the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade on television was kind of a bust for me.  I got bored halfway through and went back to my bedroom to play with my toys.  I think next year, I won't even turn on the television during the parade.  They need to reign in that rampant advertising, because when there's a steady torrent of it, even Little Kids who like to keep up with the latest in toys, stop payin' attention.

Friends, I'll see ya tomorrow.  I love ya lots!  Be yourself!  Don't be an advertisement!  Muah!

Black Friday at the Bingham Centre

The Christmas Season is happening, Big People!  Buckle up!

Hiya, Big People!  Happy Black Friday to you!

Well, ya know, Friends, my pal Donut Dude and one of his property development pals named Development Dann, and I have a mall called The Bingham Centre, accessible on the Bingham Underground. 

Unfortunately for you, it's only for Little Kids and their toy friends.  It's kinda too bad, because the Bingham Centre is the PREMIER shopping and entertainment destination of all the Binghams.  But fortunately for you, I'll tell ya all about Black Friday at the Bingham Centre.

In a word, shoppin' at the Bingham Centre today is a zoo.

There was a run on light-up boots at Forever Three early this morning.  They couldn't find extra register tape at the Bullseye anchor store, which caused a kerfluffle, until mall management found a pallet of it in a stock-room near the food court.  They already had to do three search-and-rescues in the ball-fountain at Centre Court... don't worry, everybody's okay.  Everything Smoothie has a line to it wrapped all the way to the Grand Arcade.  A glitter gun malfunctioned at Glitz-n-Glitter's, so now everyone who was in the vicinity is walkin' around, extra-extra sparkly.

This isn't a negative thing, though. 

There's a lot of good things goin' on at the Bingham Centre this Black Friday, too, though.  Most things are runnin' smoothly, but they're definitely runnin'.  No leisurely saunterin' for my megamall today. 

I hope everything's going swell for you in the Real World on Black Friday, Big People!  I'm thinkin' about ya!  I love ya lots!  Muah!

The Big Day!

Happy Thanksgiving!  I love ya lots, Big People!

Hiya, Big People!  Well, it's Thursday, and it's an extra BIG Thursday, on accounta we're now one month away from Christmas Eve, and ... oh yeah:

HAPPY THANKSGIVING YA CRAZY SHINY DIAMOND BIG PEOPLE!

This day is huge.  I'm gonna watch the parade on the television.  I'm gonna sit down and make my secondary preliminary Christmas List, I'm gonna go to Gramma's and eat myself full and silly, then I'm gonna play cards and Wii with Aunt Colleen until I just fall over, face-first onto the table.

And then I'll probably dig into a big bowla ice cream.

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, along with all the other holidays.  I am a holiday girl, when it comes right down to it!

Anyways, I know you have some serious Thanksgivin' to do today, Friends, so I won't keep ya any longer.  I'll ketchup with ya tomorrow, though.  I love ya lots, and thanks for sharin' a little slice of your day with me, every day!  Muah!