The Dang Ol' Petting Zoo

Behold: The feather-tufted TigerBaby!

Hiya, Friends!  Over the summer, I had the privilege of visiting a petting zoo called Living Treasures in Moraine.  If you didn't get to read my account of my life-changing pilgrimage, you can do so right here.

I had so much fun on my visit to Living Treasures, seeing all the animals and getting to get right up close to lot of them, that I was really inspired. 

Do we have the Cheerio Dispensers and Purell Dispensers all ready?

Another thing that inspired me that day when I visited Living Treasures is that I couldn't help but notice that people buy bags of carrots and other animal treats to give to the animals at Living Treasures.  That got me thinking:

If I had my own petting zoo and also showed up as one of the animals to be petted and loved and fed snacks, why, I could really rake it right in!  See, I could charge admission.  I could charge for the treats.  I'd buy Honey Nut Cheerios and put them in little baggies.  That way, I could avoid having to eat the pasty-tasting regular Cheerios.  You know how much I dislike regular Cheerios, don'tchya, Friends!  And then, also, I could set up a little gift shop for people to exit through, and sell Tshirts with a picture of ME on 'em!  I'd also sell keychains and refrigerator magnets, too.

I even came up with a kind of animal I could be, in my petting zoo: a rare Feather-Tufted TigerBaby.  And to complete the "zooness" of my Petting Zoo, I borrowed Rozzie's XPen.  That way, people would know I'm dangerous enough or prone enough to running off to need to be in an enclosure, but I'm friendly enough to accept the occasional pat on the head and handful of Honey Nut Cheerios.

Bye-bye!  See ya later! Next time, bring money!

You know, I sure loved that enclosure.  I could see out, people coulda seen in, and I felt really safe and secure.  And ready to eat some Cheerios right out of people's hands!

Here's how things really went: Mommy refused to send my radio advertisement to the local radio stations (she's such a killjoy!  Her name oughtta be Joy Killington!), so the only people who showed up were my coworkers.  The Little Giraffes ate up all my Cheerios without paying, Sabretooth patted my head without buying a ticket in to the zoo, Appie the Monkey sort of stole the show, swinging from imaginary trees in the enclosure next door, and nobody bought any of my imaginary Tshirts, keychains, or refrigerator magnets.

I DID notice I ran out of free bumper stickers, though, so there's something to be happy about.

In short, my experience being a feather-tufted tigerbaby in a petting zoo didn't pan out, monetarily, in the way I hoped.  So I'm back to work in the office, and that's okay.

I love ya, Friends!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!