Some Days You're the Pigeon...

It gets better, Big People.  I promise!

...And other days, you're the statue.

I suppose you could flip it around and say that some days you're the statue and other days you're the pigeon. 

I think the first way keeps ya kind of humble, don't ya think?  The second way reminds you that brighter days are ahead.  It gets better.

I think that's the gist of my message for ya today, Friends.  If you're havin' a bad day or a bad week or a bad stretch of indeterminate time, you've gotta remind yourself that even though you're the statue today, one of these days, you're gonna sprout some wings, fly off and eat some stale hot dog buns somebody is kind enough to put out for the birds, and then go flying back and strafe the daylights out of whatever it was that was holding you down.

Do pigeons strafe?  I don't know.  I don't have much experience with that kind of bird.  I know the starlings at my house strafe things like the deck and the cars and my Mommy (she HATES birds!!!), and the seagulls over in Wellsville strafe.  But do pigeons strafe? 

They must.  Because it really stinks to be a statue in pigeon territory, I hear.

Anyways, Big People.  If you're havin' a day where you're bein' strafed, take heart.  It's gonna get better for you.  Take it from your pal Zoe.  I wouldn't lead you astray. 

I love ya lots!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

A Happy Journal!

Just writin' in my Happy Journal today! 

Hiya, Friends! 

Hey, you know something that I like to do?  I like to write down the things that make me happy.  I even have a whole journal set aside for such things! 

I call it my Happy Journal!

All's it is is a composition book that I bought, and it has a cheerful flowered cover on it.  In fact, that was one of the first things I wrote about in my Happy Journal- that lookin' at the Happy Journal made me feel happy inside!

You might think that keepin' a Happy Journal makes me kind of a sap or an annoyingly happy person that you'd just wanna slap if you saw me in real life, but my Happy Journal isn't for you.  It isn't for me to show off how happy I am.  It isn't for me to be insufferable.

Nope.  Here's what my Happy Journal does for me, Friends: See, I'm not happy ALL the time.  I know.  It surprises me, too, and I'm Me!  But it's true.  I don't think anybody's happy ALL the time.  We all play the Doll Drums every once in a while, and sometimes, it's really hard to get out of that rut.  That ho-hum feelin'.  Sometimes, it's really hard to remember that I AM happy most of the time. 

That's where my Happy Journal comes in.  When I'm really down in the dumps on a day, Friends, I open up my Happy Journal and read about all the things and people and events and jokes and pretty much everything I've written down that makes me happy.  I start to remember, 'Oh, yeah!  That DOES make me pretty happy!'  and next thing I know, I've got a smile on my face, and I start to feel better about whatever's going on and trying to steal my happy.

If I've learned one thing, Friends, it's that bein' happy is a choice I can make, every single day.

How about THAT?!

Walk Away and Then Come Back

Sometimes the best way to come back is to walk away for a while, Friends!

Friends, I think you'll remember my frustration with practicin' the piano I was experiencing the other day.  I think you'll remember I got kinda ugly, on accounta I kept pushin' on the wrong keys and making my songs I was tryin' to play sound all wonky and wrong.

Do you know what I did to stop feelin' frustrated?  You bet.  I walked away.  I walked away from the piano.  I walked away from lookin' at music notes.  I walked away from everything that's black and white, which was really difficult, considering my best pal Rozzie is white with a black nose.  And heck.  Her eyes are the same color brown as the piano itself!

I ended up making an exception for Rozzie.  She's both persuasive and persistent.  She doesn't take it as the final word when I tell her I can't hang out with her 'cause she reminds me of the piano.  In fact, she told me that whole notion was kinda dumb.

That's why I love Rozzie so much, Friends.  She delivers tough love to me in doses I need to have and that I can handle.  It IS kinda dumb to avoid her, just 'cause she's the same colors as the piano keys.  And I firmly believe that everybody in their life needs a friend that will listen to you, support you, listen to you some more, and then tell you an idea of yours is dumb if the idea warrants it.  I think havin' an honest voice like that, talkin' to ya from a place of love and support is what keeps ya from gettin' all neurotic. 

Who even KNOWS where it woulda gone if I'd indulged in stayin' away from Rozzie, on accounta I was frustrated with the piano and she's the same colors as piano keys.  I really shudder to think about it, Friends.  I really do.  Coulda been a whole lot of neurosis going on up in my head!

Anyway.  I left the piano alone for a little while.  Let the frustration go away.  I listened to the very musics I was trying to play.  "Subdivisions" by Rush, of course.  I watched the video about the Randall Park Mall that uses a piano arrangement of that song, over and over.  It reminded me how much I like that song and how much I'd like to be able to play it well myself.

So I've come back to the piano today, Friends, for some playin' just for fun.  My friend Rozzie reminded me that I'm three and nobody's expecting me to play perfectly.  I'm just s'posed to be havin' fun and tryin' out all kindsa new things.  So that's what I'm doing.

You know the old saying, don't you, Friends?  Repeat it with me!

"When something really frustrates the dickens out of you, walk away for a little while.  Then come back to it.  If it doesn't frustrate you anymore, it's time to play again, but if it does, then you should go eat an Oreo cookie and do something else for a while."

Words to live by, right there, Big People.  Words to live by.

I'll see ya tomorrow!  I love ya lots!  Muah!

Self-Rescuing Princess!

I'm a self-rescuing princess, Friends!  How about that?!

Well, hiya, Friends! 

You know, this princess thing just isn't going away for me.  It really isn't.  And if I weren't such a self-possessed Little Kid, I'd probly be wonderin' if there's something wrong with me 'cause I cannot sit through even half of Disney's The Little Mermaid. 

I've really been looking into this Princess phenomenon, Friends.  Pretty much all the stories are the same: a pretty girl in a big dress is in a jam, or she isn't living the life she wants to live, and she waits around for her prince to come along and whisk her away. 

These girls.  Sometimes they have a curse on 'em.  Makes 'em fall asleep and not wake up until the prince shows up to save the day.  Sometimes, they're wearin' really uncomfortable shoes.  Cinderella, I'm mainly lookin' at you.  I mean, really.  A shoe made of GLASS?  What the what, exactly, are you trying to accomplish, Cindy?  I can't believe that glass slipper was all that wonderful to wear.  Glass is really hard, and no amount of magic is going to be able to make an EVA mid-sole and waffle tread look ethereal.  So why would it be a great thing to hafta wear a shoe made of GLASS to a dang ol' ball, anyways?  Aren't you s'posed to DANCE at a ball? 

If I live to a hundred billion years, Big People, I will never understand why Big Girls cram their feet into pretty-but-pretty uncomfortable shoes and then pretend that they're not in excruciating pain as they shimmy, shake, and do the Locomotion at dances.

Wanna hear my alternative?  Boots.  I just love 'em.  If I can't wear my sneakers to something', on accounta they're sporty, give me my pink boots.  Pretty, AND comfortable.

Geez.  No wonder these princesses can't save themselves.  Their feet hurt!

Well, and their big ol' dresses must get in the way.  Because when you're wearin' a big ol' dress, you've gotta act like a lady, whatever that means.  Look at Princess Peach form Super Mario Brothers.  She's gotta stay up top of the stupid castle, waiting to be rescued.  Maybe if she wasn't stuck wearin' sucha big dress for everyday wear, she'd be able to scale down the outside of that castle and rescue herself!

Don't get me wrong.  I love to wear dresses.  I love to wear big ol' tutu skirts!  I like to be stylish, but I also like to be able to move and kick!  Yeah, I wear big ol' skirts and dresses, but I wear shorts underneath.  Bloomers.  Pants sometimes.  In case I've gotta run, or swing from monkey bars, or in case I've gotta kick something. What if I had to climb up onto a horse and ride it, Friends?  We're talkin' about fairy-tale princesses, after all.  It could happen!

Friends, hear me on this.  I appreciate the Princesses.  I really do. They sure are pretty, and they can put on a GREAT ice show.  But I like Elsa and Anna so much because they are active in their own story. Anna might think she's waiting for true love to rescue her, but she's more than capable of saving herself.  She really is, Friends.

And in that vein, I am going to be a self-rescuing princess, Friends.  A bloomer-wearin', boot-scootin', dragon-ridin', self-rescuin' princess.  And I wouldn't be surprised if I don't rescue a few princes, while I'm at it.  How about that, Friends?  How the heck about that!

Hey.  Don't you worry about me, Friends!  I am not a weird little girl, just 'cause I'm not wild about the same things other little girls are.  I am me.  And I am GREAT with that.  

I'll see ya tomorrow, Friends!  I love ya lots!  Muah!

The Disney Princess Canon

I don't think princess movies are my cup of rootbeer.

Hiya, Big People! 

Well, after my recent trip to see Disney Princesses and Heroes on Ice, I've decided that I ought to familiarize myself with the various Disney Princesses, especially those that I saw skating on the ice on Saturday.  Like I mentioned in yesterday's post, I wasn't really all that familiar with anyone, except for the Frozen crew. 

I purchased a copy of "Cinderella" and "The Little Mermaid" at Sam's Club on Saturday night and tried watching "The Little Mermaid" on Sunday at my house. 

Yes, I tried. 

Friends, I think maybe princess movies just aren't my thing.  I know a lot of other little kids my age, other little girls, especially just love 'em.  But not me.  And I don't think that makes me a weird little girl.  I DO like princessy things.  I love wearin' tutu skirts.  I love the movie "Frozen."

But I love watchin' Cars and Planes, and playin' with my blocks and toy car I get to tinker on.  I love doin' art.  I love bein' a Doctor of Humorous Healing. 

I don't think that makes me weird.  I think that makes me Me.  So I'm a little different from the little girls who are all about all the Princess movies.  So I don't know Sleeping Beauty from Cinderella.  I have time to learn all that, if I wanna, someday.  I have a lot of fun, and I'm happy.  I'm a happy person.  I'm a happy little kid.  I don't hafta fit all the way in for that.  People like me, just the way I am.  I like me, just the way I am.

That's pretty much all that matters to me, Friends. 

That's that, Friends!  Heck.  I love ya lots.  I really do.  No matter what you're into.  How about THAT?! 

Muah!

Surprising Saturday Revealed: Zoe's Zamboni Dreams

I was thisclose to the Zamboni!

Hiya, Friends!  Happy Monday to you!

Hey, remember how I said that I was getting a special surprise on Saturday?  Well, it ended up that Mommy and Daddy took me to First Niagara Center in Downtown Buffalo to see Disney Princesses and Heroes on Ice!  How about that?!

Of course, they saved my favorites Elsa and Anna for last, but they got the longest time on the ice, too.  Also, I didn't know camels have blue eyes or that they know how to ice skate, but it's true!  The "Aladdin" segment featured a blue-eyed, ice-skating camel, so that was pretty exciting!

You know, I am not as well-versed in the traditional Disney Princess Canon as other Little Kids my age.  I never realized this until Saturday, Friends.  There were hundreds of other Little Kids at the Arena, and they were all shouting out their favorite Disney Princesses' names, and shouting along to the lyrics of the songs, and the only ones I really knew were Elsa and Anna.  I mean, I recognized Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, and Belle from my Disney Princesses Candyland Game, but I've never seen their movies.  I thought all the Disney Princesses had really nice costumes, although the heroes seemed pretty interchangeable to me, aside from Aladdin and Christoph. 

There were some fireworks, and that freaked me out a little bit.  Fireworks are loud!  I have a problem with loud, which I know is kind of ironic, on accounta how I don't mind it at all when I, myself, am really loud!  I guess that's just a personality quirk of mine that makes me "me!"

But that doesn't mean I didn't have a lot of fun at the show! 

Quite to the contrary, I had a great time.  I realized just how much I like Tinkerbell.  Mickey and Minnie were there, too, and they're just as great in person as they seem to be on the television!  Olaf is a really great ice skater for a snowman! 

And.  We sat right in the front row, so when the Zamboni came out to clean up the ice for intermission, I was really, really close to the Zamboni, close enough to hear its engine!  I coulda reached out and TOUCHED it, if that sorta behavior hadn't have been highly discouraged. 

I waved and waved at that Zamboni.

Why?  Well, you might not know this about me, Friends, but I am a big fan of Zambonis.  I have a book I got for Christmas called "Z is for Zamboni," and it's a favorite.  Oughtta be a classic, if you ask me.  I've been to two hockey games in my life so far, and come intermission time, my eyes are glued right onto that magical vehicle.  When I see a Zamboni on the television, I always think about how much I'd like to be the lucky gal driving it.

Someday, I've decided that I'm going to write, produce, direct, and star in an ice show that's all about me and my Zamboni and the adventures we go on.  I'm not sure if I'll use fireworks in my show or not, because they startled me yesterday during the Disney show.  But who knows?  They might be less startling if they're in MY show, and I'm the one in charge of settin' 'em off when I say!

So it was a lot, lot , LOT of fun, going to that show!  Plus, I got to eat fancy cupcakes AND go to Friendly's AND drive the race-cart at Home Depot! 

How about that?!

In a "Rush" to Play Songs on the Piano

Practice makes... me frusterated!  I keep hittin' the wrong notes!

Hiya, Friends!  Happy Sunday! 

Oh, you know, I'm just usin' the day to practice up on my skills on the piano.  I just got a new songbook of Rush's Greatest Hits, and I'm trying to learn how to play "Subdivisions," on accounta I heard a piano version of it while I was watchin' a tribute to a mall Mommy visited when she was a Little Kid, and it's gettin' torn down. 

I thought the song was perfect.  I loved the video.  I kept watchin' it over and over again.  I kept askin' Mommy to play "Subdivisions" for me over the Sonos for a while, and then I realized I could just learn to play the song on the piano!

Well, Friends, that's easier said than done.  They say practice makes perfect, but I'll tell ya what practice makes me.  Practice makes me frusterated!  That's what!  I stick in flats that oughtta be sharp, I sharpen notes that should just be normal, and I hate rests.  If I wanted to rest, I wouldn't play the piano in the first place, now would I?  What's more, I say these things as though I know the first thing about pianos and music, other than my ears know when they hear musics that I really like.

Ugh.  You know what?  I'm THREE.  I wanna hear music I don't hafta make myself.  Maybe I'll try this piano-playin' another time, maybe when I'm older and more patient.  Don't get me wrong.  I love to sit down and push the keys, but I'm just not ready to be formal about it.  In the meantime, I wanna hear "Subdivisions" again, and I don't have the patience today to practice measure by measure.  So I'm gonna fire up the dang ol' Sonos and get my Rush on. 

Friends, you need to find something that relaxes you today!  Find something you enjoy, and do that something, mmmkay?  I know I will.

I'll see ya tomorrow.  I'll tell ya all about my surprise from Saturday!  I love ya lots!  Muah!

Surprising Saturday!

I don't even know what's gonna happen today, but I'm excited!

FRIENDS!  YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BEEEEE-LIEVE THIS!!!

I'm goin' on a surprise today!!!

It's sucha surprise I don't even know what type of surprise it is, other than I hafta be all around and ready to go, early this morning.

It could pretty much be anything, Friends!  Last Sunday, Mommy and Daddy took me on a surprise and I saw Paddington Bear in the theater in Wellsville!

Maybe the surprise I'm going on today is they're buying me a car of my very own!

Omigosh!  If that's what's happening, I hope it's a real-live Pink Jeep, like my treasured Pink Jeep I usedta have when I was younger, and I loved it, but then I outgrew it.  That would just be awesome!

Of course, whatever surprise I'm going on today will be fun, I'm sure.  So long as my surprise isn't sitting in some boring waiting room for hours on end.  That would be the biggest bummer ever.

I can't wait to tell ya all about my Surprising Saturday, Big People!  I can't wait to know what it is so I can tell ya all about it!  I love ya lots!  Muah!

Friendly Friday!

Why, hello there, Friday-Friend!  It's good to see ya again!

Friends, this Week of Fun has found its way to Friday, and if it doesn't take much effort at all to make Thursdays fun, then Fridays are just pretty much the greatest fun ever.  They really are. 

I think it's just a good day to sit down, relax, and have some good conversation with a good friend or valued co-worker over some Vitamin C lollipops or maybe lattes or something. 

Whatever you like. 

I tend to go more toward the Vitamin C lollipops, on account of lattes are for Big People, and also I'm tryin' to avoid catchin' any more colds this winter.  I've had two.  When you're talkin' about colds, more is not better, so I'm just really in love with Vitamin C lollipops, this winter, especially.

So, Friday!  Friends, whatever you do, make it a good one.  I'm gonna just take it easy and relax.  Maybe watch some Octonauts with my best pal Rozzie.  I'm confident that one of these times, she'll decide she loves that show as much as I do.  Persistence pays off!

I love ya lots, Friends!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Think of a Fun Rhyme Thursday!

Let's get back to gettin' our fun on, Friends!  Happy Thursday!

Hiya, Big People.  Sorry about yesterday.  It sure escalated quickly, but I hafta say, I feel a lot better.  I mean, I obviously had some stuff to get off'n my chest, and once I did that, once I had my say and cleared the air around me, I've been feelin' a lot better.

I'm back on track for thinkin' of ways to make the days of the week a lot more fun. 

Now, to be realistic, Thursdays kind of do all the heavy-lifting, as far as fun goes.  Thursdays are pretty fun days, in my estimation.  I'd say that Thursdays are the most fun non-Friday day of the work-week.  So my fun exercise for today is to come up with a fun rhyme.  All of us. 

To get you started, here's my Think of a Fun Rhyme for Thursday.  See if ya can recognize where I got the idea from:

Miss Zo-eee Blake, Blake, Blake
She baked a cake, cake, cake,
With chocolate frosting, frosting, frosting,
And coconut flakes, flakes, flakes!
She took a taste, taste, taste,
And it was great, great, great!
That cake she ate, ate, ate,
From top to plate, plate, plate!

How about that, Friends?!  Wasn't that fun, Big People?  Now you try it!  Make a rhyme for "Think of a Fun Rhyme Thursday!"  You can do it!

I love ya lots, Big People, and I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Mommy Said "No!" to "Wild Child Wednesday!"

I sort of showed up unprepared for fun today, Friends.  Oopsies!

Oh, dear, Friends!  I've been tryin' to make each day this week fun, and now it's Wednesday, and I hafta admit that I don't have anything ready to make Wednesday more fun. 

I DID have something.  It was called "Wild Child Wednesday," but when I got to story-boarding Wild Child Wednesday and Mommy saw what I was thinking, she greeted it with an unceremonious "no."

Actually, it was more like "No.  No-no-no.  Not even.  NOPE!"

Apparently I don't need encouragement to be wild on any day of the week, and she thinks I shouldn't enhance my wildness on any day of the week. So you can't, either, Friends, and you can blame it all on my Mommy.  She's such a Buzzkill that I think it's a shame she isn't a doctor, so we could all call her "Dr. Buzzkill."  "Countess Wet-Blanket."  "Dud the Drip."

You wanna know why I'm always lookin' for new ways to have fun, Big People?  It's because Mommy is always puttin' a stop to my fun.  It's like she LIVES to make me and my life as boring as possible.  I can hardly even fathom what it's going to be like for me when I'm a teenager.  By then, I expect to have a fully operational hover-board.  It'll be awesome, except Mommy will come up with all kinds of futuristic and throw-back ways to make that less fun.  I'm already seeing full-body armor in my future.  I'll be the laughingstock of my class.

Gawd, Friends, I've got myself all upset.  I need to go lie down for a little while.  I really do.  I haven't even gone to KINDERGARTEN yet, and already I'm my class freak.  AND IT'S ALL MOMMY'S FAULT!!!

I'll see ya tomorrow, Friends.  I love ya lots!  Muah!

Terrific Tuesday: Make It So!

Come on, Friends!  I need more cow-bell!

...No, I said "Make it SO!"  Not "Make it SNOW!"  Although, I hafta say if it's gonna be cold, I'd just as soon have it be snowy, too, so it's at least pretty.  Nothing's worse than having it be a zillion degrees below zero and bein' able to see the grass or bein' able to see the grass shatter as it's walked on, on accounta it bein' so ungodly cold.

Anyways, Friends!  It's Tuesday!  And it can be terrific!  It really can.  We've just gotta cheer it on.  I've arranged for us all to be part of a Tuesday Percussion and Kazoo Jam Band.  All you've gotta do is grab your favorite percussion instrument or kazoo, and play or percuss your favorite tune or rhythm!  How about that?!

Now, I hope a buncha you Big People like to play the cowbell.  Rozzie and I were listenin' to what we have so far, and we agree that we could definitely use more cowbell.  You can never have enough or too much cowbell, actually, especially when you're part of a Tuesday Percussion and Kazoo Jam Band put together to cheer on Tuesday and make it terrific.  You know what I'm sayin'?

You don't even hafta be very good at your instrument you've chosen, actually, Friends.  The whole point is that music's good for the soul, and participating in my Tuesday Percussion and Kazoo Jam Band will put a smile on your face.

Especially if you pick cowbell.

And a ONE... and a TWO...

Buh-Bye Mopey Monday...

The ball is in YOUR court to make this week GREAT!!!

Well, hiya, Friends!  Happy Monday to you!

That's right.  this kid is back to sayin' "Happy Monday!"  because I'm tired of bein' all mopey on Mondays. 

Yep.  I'm back to thinkin' of Mondays as "Magic Mondays."  If that upsets you because you prefer "Mopey Mondays," that's all right.  It's your choice how ya wanna be and how ya wanna feel.  I just kind of think the Universe is like a big ol' mirror that reflects to you what you project out into it.  So if you show it your mopey face, it's gonna send a mopey face right back atchya.  Smile and be happy at the Universe, and you'll be surprised at what happens, I'd dare to bet!

I wouldn't be surprised, though.  I know just exactly what'll happen, because when I smile at people, they smile back at me.  Just imagine that on a whole entire cosmic level!

That's why today's Magic Monday.  Make it set the tone for a great week, Big People!  I sure as heck am gonna do my best to make it so!

I love ya lots, Friends!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

I Am Not A Threenager

Despite my attitude, I am not a Threenager.

Hiya, Friends!  Happy Sunday to you!

Well, you know, there are some adults out there who think they're clever, and they call a subset of the people my age "Threenagers."  I'm not sure, but I believe this to be a pejorative dig both at three-year-olds and teenagers.  I can speak only for the three-year-olds, but I betchya the teenagers represented by this pejorative dig are not impressed, either.

You see, we are two separate species, three year olds and teenagers.  When you're Three, you're just figuring things out.  Just learnin' things.  You can do a lot more than your Big People will letchya do, and most of the time, you end up just frusterated. 

There's an incredibly sympathetic, well-written, thoughtful article likening being two and three years old to being stuck for the day at the DMV.  For you people who think "Threenager" is hi-larious and true-to-life, I suggest you give it a Goog and imagine how YOU'D feel if you were stuck at the DMV all day and you got jerked around.  And don't be all self-righteous and claim that you'd be patient as molasses in January.  I've seen you Big People melt down over things that are far less of a big deal than bein' told to take a nap or that you've gotta leave the store without the SuperDeluxe Frozen Elsa's Ice Castle Complete with Lights and Sound Effects that you want.

I've seen you Big People act just awful. 

As for comparing Three-Year-Olds to teenagers, normally, I'd say that teenagers are just awful, but then I'd be just as guilty of over-generalizing just like the coiners of "Threenager."  AND, most teenagers I've met aren't all that bad, on an individual basis.  Go easy on 'em, Big People.  You oughtta remember what it's like to be a teenager, Friends.  I hear it stinks, and I'm not lookin' forward to it.  Just when things smooth out from the Toddler and Early Childhood years, you hit Teenagerdom, and your pre-frontal cortex shuts the heck off and you get weird for a few years.  That stinks.

Friends, my whole entire point today is I understand that as a three-year-old, I can be frusterating at times.  Sometimes many times a day, I am frusterating.  I also understand that teenagers can seem like alien species.  But.  Lemme wanna remind you that you, too, were once a three-year-old and also a teenager.  I think you woulda appreciated the Big People in your life not being snarky to you and calling you a "threenager." 

Be the change you wanna see in the world, Friends.  Darn it.

Awwwwww heck.  I love ya anyways.  I sure do.  And I'll be seein' ya tomorrow! Muah!

Catchin' Up On My Readin' On My Day Off

I wonder if I can play hockey, someday, and drive the Zamboni during intermissions!

Well, goodness, hiya, Big People!  Hey!  It's Saturday, I have the day off from my picture show over on the Facebook (and it feels really, really weird to have a day off over there, on accounta I usually work weekends AND holidays over there!)

So what am I doing on my Rare Day Off?  Doin' a little ketchup with my Reading List. 

I do a lot of reading anyways, but all part of the Little Kid Canon.  You know.  Berenstain, Seuss, Eric Carle, Aesop, Boynton... Board Books Galore.  That's the Little Kid Canon.  So on my days off, I like to read a book Just For Me.  Today, I've chosen Ice Hockey Made Simple, which is a really informative read, mostly, but I think it might be geared toward girls who think that hockey players make touchdowns by putting the ball in the basket.

Really basic stuff, in other words.

So it's a little boring and frusterating for me to read, to be honest with ya, Friends.  I've been watchin' hockey literally my whole, entire life.  I watched my first hockey game when I was one month old.  My very first word ever was "Hah!-Key!"  When I hear Rick Jeanneret's voice, I feel like I'm listening to a close and treasured family member on the television.  Not to put too blunt a tip on this, but I am not a hockey beginner.

I do like the pages devoted to the Zamboni, however.  I just love the Zamboni. I also love the mascots.  Especially Sabretooth and Blade. 

My dream is to someday play ice hockey and also to drive the Zamboni during intermissions.  That way I could have all the fun!

But today, I'm just gonna kick back, relax, and take advantage of my Day Off from my picture show over on the Facebook.  I hope you have a relaxing Saturdee, too, Friends!  I love ya lots!  See ya tomorrow!  Muah!

XTreme Wardrobing with Zoe!

In my defense, I wear my clothes a LOT before I outgrow 'em!

Hiya, Friends! Hey, I know it looks like I'm always eatin' when I see you, these days, and the fact of the matter is, I'm pretty much always hungry.  That's just how it is.  I think I might be ready to take a growin' spurt.  The tall way, not the wide way.

You see, I was lookin' at the dang ol' Oshkosh b'Gosh retail website on the Internets, and there's some really nice clothes that I'd like to wear from there, but a complicating factor standing between me and a Whole New Wardrobe is that I've got me a whole closet fulla clothes that I don't seem to be ready to out-grow just yet!

Friends, I'm still wearin' some of the clothings I was wearin' before I could walk.  See my Hello Kitty shirt in my picture?  I got that in October, 2012, the very weekend I started taking a few tentative steps (and then fallin' right down!).  It was from Aunt Colleen and Uncle Lorentz, who have instilled a lifelong love of Hello Kitty in me.  So I've been wearin' that little Tshirt for over two years, and it still fits me great.  Those spider-web BabyLegs?  I got those when I was a newborn.  The tutu-skirt I wore my very first Easter. 

Not with the Hello Kitty Tshirt.  I love the look, but I suppose it's a little too punk-rock for a kid's first Easter. 

But what the heck.  I'll still be wearin' that Tshirt by this Easter, which will actually be my FOURTH Easter Sundee, and maybe now that I've got a few of these Easters under my belt, I can go a little punk-rock.  I'll put on my fluorescent hi-top sneaks with this outfit, and I think I'll be all set. 

Hey, could somebody write down that outfit idea for me?  ... Also, add in that I'll wear my vegan leather jacket that I got for Christmas in 2013- it's size 2T, but I'm not outgrowin' it anytime soon, and I think it'll provide just the right amount of edge to this outfit. ... Thanks!

Other things have gone in my Bin of Outgrown Clothings, but not because I outgrew 'em.  No.  They're in the Bin on account of they're snap-suits, and I've gotta wear things I can pull up and down all on my own, because... well, you know.  Snapsuits and big girl undies don't mix.  They most certainly do not!

Thing of it is, I HAVE been growing.  I'm taller than I used to be, and I know this because I can finally wear my Size Nine Months and Size Twelve Months pants. In fact, they fit me pretty perfectly... around my middle.  On the up and down portion of my leg, they fit me somewhere between Bermuda shorts and clam-digger pants.  Also, I'm still wearin' some of my Size 3-6 months skirts.  They're really short, so I wear bloomers and BabyLegs or a pair of my 9 or 12-month pants underneath- for a 1988 vibe!

What about pants that are built for my actual size?  The 2Ts and 3Ts of the world?  They fit me the tall ways, but around my middle, they're more huge than a Fucillo dealership.  I can wear 'em, but I hafta have my personal tailor take a tuck in the waist.  And at the rate I'm goin', I'll be goin' to kindergarten in those pants!  I'll just be the kid with the pants that go halfway up my legs. 

Settin' me up to be a freak already, Mommy is.  But I suppose it's a thing to be kinda proud of, my XTreme Wardrobing.  I get Mommy's money's worth outta my clothings.  I really do.  So there's that. 

All righty, Friends!  I'll be seein' ya tomorrow!  I love ya lots!  Muah!

National Hat Day

I didn't forget my hat; I just didn't know it was a thing today.

Hiya, Big People!

Well, if you know me, you know that I love obscure and esoteric celebrations.  Crazy holidays, if you will.  So periodically, I go searching on the Internets for just that sort of thing. 

When I woke up this morning, I said, 'Zoe, today sure feels like it oughtta be a holiday of some sort,' and after I looked it up on the Internets, I found that darn tootin', I was right!

No, it isn't 'Talk Like a Wild West Weirdo Day.'  That's celebrated later in the year.  I just kind of got in a rut, thinking about Julius and the Wild West Bananza and started talking all weird. 

I apologize for that.

No.  Today, the Fifteenth of January, is actually "National Hat Day."  I think that's pretty fitting, seeing as how I wouldn't go outside without a hat on, this time of year.  We might as well make a Day of it and celebrate wearin' our hats. 

Now, you'll notice that I'm not wearing a hat in my picture.  That's because I didn't know it was National Hat Day until I consulted the Internets for today's topic, and also because I'm not outside.  Not right now.  I'm inside where it's nice and warm.  So if I were to put on a hat in this moment, that'd sort of be overachieving, and also, my head would get all sweaty and my hair'd be messed up.  Ultimately, if I wore my hat inside, let my head get all sweaty, and then I happened to put on my coat and saunter outside as one does, I'd probably wind up with pneumonia or something, when that cold air got to my sweaty hat-head.

Nobody likes pneumonia!

So I think what I'm gonna do, once I letchyoo go for today, Friends, is fold myself a paper hat.  Simple and stylish, right there.  I'm not sure how to do so, but I'm sure there's a YouTube instructional video to show me the steps.  And a video by the talking pets.  I just love those guys!  "You're the turkey type!"  Ha!

Well, Friends.  I'd better skedaddle!  I love the heck right outta ya!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

The Three-Year-Old Condition

It ain't easy bein' Three.

Friends!  How the heck are ya today?  Me?  Yeah, I could be doin' better!

Nothing in particular is really wrong.  Don't get me wrong.  Mostly, I can't complain.  I get enough to eat-n-drink.  I have a warm, safe place to sleep.  I have lotsa toys to play with.  I get to watch my favorite programs on the television when I wanna.

I even get to go places in public when it's appropriate!

The big, important things in my life are taken care of, and that's all going great.  It really, really is.

I really can't complain, Friends.  I really can't, but I'm pretty much gonna, anyways. 

Well, you know how it is. 

I'm three.  Being three means that I know I can do things that the Big People in my life say 'no way!' to.  For instance, they won't let me purchase my own in-app purchases in the iPad.  They won't let me bake my own batcha cookies.  They won't let me drive ANY of the cars, and there are definitely enough cars for me to drive just one. 

It ain't easy, bein' Three, Friends.  Not only do I not get to do any of the things I mentioned, but I also hafta wait for them to buckle me in and buckle me out of my carseat in the car.  Do you know how demeaning it is to hafta WAIT for adult intervention on a five-point racecar-inspired safety harness, insteadda bein' able to just hop out of the vehicle on my own, like the Big People do? 

And what really gets me, Friends, is that every single Big Person out there was a Three-Year-Old once.  Every single one of you.  So you'd think you'd remember how YOU felt when you weren't allowed to do things you wanted to do, because some Big Person said you're too little, and you wouldn't make little kids like me feel so... little.

I don't mean "you" as in you-you, Friend.  I mean Big People in general.  You know?

You know, I probly oughtta go, before I get all of you mad at me for lumpin' you in with my resident Big People.  I love ya lots, friends!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Batter Up!

Pancake Batter is my favorite!

Hiya, Friends!  In today's accompanying photograph, you can see that I'm all in my Batting Stance.  I betchya didn't know I was the athletic type, and trust me, you're just as surprised as I am, and vicey-versa!

In honor of my athleticism, I'd like to talk to you about batters. 

My all-time favorite batter is pancake batter, on accounta Daddy makes me pancakes, so when there's pancake batter, that means Daddy's home and is makin' me some pancakes.  The days where Daddy's home and he stays home with me are just the best days ever.

But I also love cake batter, because when you put cake batter in the oven, a CAKE comes out in fifty minutes!  I just love cake.  Even better if it's cake in a cup.  (See what I did there?  When I mention 'cupcakes' by name, people start to squawkin' about how I have a "problem" with cupcakes, and then I hafta go into all that again about how I have no problem with cupcakes, but what I have a problem with is not havin' cupcakes, and then things get all ugly, and there's talk of sendin' me to cupcake rehab, and it's just a mess.)

Ummm... There's beer-batter, too.  Now, beer-batter is different from pancake batter, cake batter, brownie batter, and the like.  It's different because when you make beer-batter, you don't put it in the oven and have a beer come out.  That isn't how it works, and that really surprised me!  No!  It's called beer-batter because you put beer IN the batter and then you dip fish in it and fry it and it makes a crunchy, fluffy, crunchy shell around the fish.  Which is better for people like me, anyways, because I don't think I'm really interested in beer at the present juncture between space and time on the spacetime continuum.

Unless you're talkin' about root beer, which, coincidentally, goes GREAT with pancakes, cakes, brownies, AND beer-battered fish!

Goodness.  I've just realized I'm really hungry, Friends.  Not sure why.  But I'm gonna go see what's in the fridge.  I'll be back tomorrow to see ya.  I love ya lots!  Muah!

WHAT Day Is It?!

Well, where'd the weekend go?

Hiya, Friends!  Boy, were you as flabbergasted as I was when you woke up this morning and realized it's MONDAY all over again?  And we're a DOZEN days into the New Year? 

I sure was flabbergasted.  Not so much about the dozen days already, but I was really flabbergasted, dismayed even, to find out that it's Monday.  I don't even know where the weekend went.  Feels like there wasn't even one, if ya want me to take my gloves off and give ya the un-gloved truth about how I feel on the matter.

It's true!  I don't even know where the heck all the time went.  My Friday felt more like a Thursday.  My Saturday felt more like a Tuesday.  And Sunday?  I don't even KNOW what day I thought I was on, Sunday.

What the heck, Big People?!

I'm wondering if it's just because I was off'n my Regular Schedule, or if being all mixed up on what day it is is a phenomenon to be expected when the temperatures plummet the way they have.  What I DO know for sure is that it feels weird to be so far off on what day it is, and it's like a slap in the face with a slap of cold bologna to find out that today's MONDAY.

Geeze, Louise!


Anyways, Big People, I suppose I'd better call on myself to take my own advice and Make the Most of It this Monday.  No room for bellyachin'.  It's a brand new day and a brand new week, and we've got work to do.

I sure love ya lots, Big People!  See ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Won-Won-Won!

Any day I get to see you makes me feel like a Winner, Friends!

Hiya, Big People!  Happy Sunday to you!

Hey, have you noticed that today's January Eleventh, or as I like to call it: Won-Won-Won!

I like to call it that, on accounta I feel like I won-won-won the jackpot, since I get to check in on you today!  How about that?!

So, do you have any good plans for today?  Or maybe do you have any good hot cocoa recipes you'd like to share with your ol' pal Zoe? 

Right now, I'm pretty caught up on the Classic Swiss Miss that comes in a pouch.  You mix that with six ounces of water and about a bazillion mini marshmellas, and you've got yourself a really classy hot beverage you can feel good about drinkin' by yourself or servin' to company!  How about that?!

But I know there's a lot of other variations on that theme out there.  For instance, I know you can add Reddi Wip to the hot cocoa, either with or without the mini marshmellas.  Some people would call marshmellas AND whip overkill, but I call it a great start!

If you've got favorites in the hot cocoa department, I'd love to hear 'em!  Nothin' warms up a body on a cold day like a good cuppa hot cocoa, after all!

Hey.  I'll be seein' ya tomorrow, Friends!  Right here!  I love ya!  Muah!

Toddler, It's COLD Outside!

I guess I'll sit in here where it's warmish and eat a lollipop.

Hi there, Friends!  Hey!  Are ya enjoyin' the brisk weather we've been havin' this week?

Yeah, me, neither.

It pretty much stinks, you know.  What I wanna do is go outside and play in my sandbox, and Mommy has been sayin' 'NO!' since November.

Maybe that's why it's called 'NO-vember,' come to think of it. 

Anyways, I asked to go outside and play in my sandbox the other day, and Mommy said no, of course, and then went on to say that my sandbox is frozen solid.

Frozen solid?!  Is that even possible?  I wouldn't even know, because she won't let me out there to see.  Something about the windchill factor and all kinds of argle-bargle like that.

The kicker is that I think I was told, back when we put the lid on my sandbox for the winter, that I'd be able to play in the snow when winter got here.  Ha!  What a crock-pot of liar stew that was!  It's always "too cold," or there's not enough snow, or 'it's raining!' 

It is rough to be a toddler these days, Friends.  I'll see ya tomorrow, mmmmkay?  Love ya lots!  Muah!

No-Manners' Land!

Never tell a mommy she's chubby.  Ne-ver!  Especially MY Mommy...

Friends, as you know, I'm a Little Kid, and I learn something new about manners every single day. 

For instance, I've learned that it's polite to cover a sneeze or cough in your arm.  It's polite to say 'please' and 'thank you.'  It's polite to ask before I just take something I really like.  It's polite for me to ask for an extra string cheese for my best pal Rozzie. 

Apparently, though, it is NOT polite to tell a Mommy she's chubby.  The other day, I told MY Mommy she was chubby that day, and did I ever get sent to school.  Not the fun kind of school where you get to paint and have snacks and see your friends. The kind of school where you're pretty much just gettin' yelled at.

So to save you and your ears the pain I endured, just take it from your pal Zoe.  Never, ever, ever, EVER tell a Mommy she's chubby.  Don't even say it to someone who ISN'T a Mommy.  In short, it is not polite to point out to someone their own chubbiness.  And don't point out someone else's chubbiness to a third party.

Friends, once again, you can color this kid older and wiser.  Remember what I told you!

I love ya lots!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Octonaut Optimism

With the Octonauts, I always look forward to the next adventure!

Hi, there, Big People!  How are you on this Thursday? 

Hey.  Have I ever told you about my new television obsession?  I just love the Octonauts.  I really do.  I love watchin' them on the television, and I love playin' with my replica Octopod while I watch Octonauts episodes.

The Octonauts are a group of person-like animals and some Vegemals (half animal, half vegetable, if you can believe it!) who go around the ocean in their orange and blue Octopod, exploring the ocean and rescuing animals in trouble.  When they hafta go places the big Octopod can't go, they cruise around in the ocean in a bunch of different Gups.

What inspires me about the Octonauts is that they're all so diverse.  Captain Barnacles is a polar bear, for instance.  Kwasii is the First Mate, I think, and he's a pirate cat.  Peso the Penguin is the ship's medic.  Dashii is a little dog, and she takes pictures of everything.  Tweek is a bunny and she's the ship's engineer.  I really like that they have a girl engineer!  Shellington is an otter and I think he's the resident expert on all the animals.  And Professor Inkling founded the Octonauts.  He's an octopus, and he has a really great library, where he usually stays.  Then there's the Vegemals.  And everybody on the Octopod gets along, despite their differences!  Plus, they always believe they can solve the problems they're faced with.  That's really important!

I really like learning all about the different sea creatures, though.  That's what makes my day.  There's a Creature Report at the end of every segment, with a song and a dance, and it really helps me learn about what I've watched on the episode.

Friends, I'll tell ya something.  The way to get to a Little Kid's heart and mind is to entertain 'em while you're tryin' to teach 'em something.  And I oughtta know, on accounta me bein' a Little Kid and all!

Hey.  I'll be seein' ya tomorrow, mmmkay?  I love ya lots, Friends!  Muah!

When the Calendar Flips

When do I get my Hoverboard?

Hiya, Big People!

Can you believe it's Wednesday already?

Why, it's the first Wednesday of the New Year.  I know I'm all up on this New Year thing this week, but it's really quite remarkable to me how we wake up on the morning of December Thirty-First, and it's the last day of Now for Now, and then at Midnight, it turns into The Future.  It's just remarkable!

Now that we're here in The Future, and The Future as Defined By the Movie Back to the Future: Part II, I wanna know something. 

When are our hoverboards and Mr. Fusion-fueled time-traveling machines arrive?  I keep checking to order such on the dang ol' Amazon, and they're not available yet. 

Shouldn't they at least have a pre-order date by now?

I'm startin' to think The Future, while lotsa fun, isn't all that Back to the Future: Part II cracked it up to be, Big People.  But that's okay.  I won't hold it against the year 2015 for not bein' like they thought it was gonna be in 1985.  How could they have known that the Future would be pretty rad, just not the way they thought it was gonna be?

I love ya lots, Friends!  I'll see ya tomorrow, in an equally rad in its own way Future!

Muah!

Top Ten Tuesday!

It's only the Sixth, but I have ten top things already this year!

Hiya, Big People!

You know what I think would be fun?  I wanna share with you my Top Ten Things I Really Like This Year Already.  Are you ready?  I sure am!

10.  Chocolate Chip Cookies
9.  Dang! Root Beer and the floats it makes.
8.  The song "Shake It Off!"
7.  Chapsticks!
6.  Hello Kitty
5.  My new camera that's all mine and it really takes pictures!
4.  My replica of the Octopod from The Octonauts!
3.  Egg Rolls with Duck Sauce to dip 'em in!
2.  Watchin' the Octonauts as much as I want!
1.  Root Beer.  I mention it twice because I really love it!

There we go, Friends!  That's my Top Ten for this first Tuesday of the New Year!  How about that?!

I love ya lots, Big People!  I'll be seein' ya tomorrow!   Muah!

More Flair Monday!

Nothing makes Monday more fun than some turquoise hair!

Hiya, Big People! 

Happy Monday to you!  It's the first Monday of the New Year, and I think we should all greet it by showing it our flair! 

Or is it 'flare?'

It's Flair.  We wanna show Monday our Flair for the New Year.  Flare is like when the sun burps.  We don't need to encourage that sort of behavior.

So today, Friends, let's show Mondays in 2015 just how much fun we can be, and maybe Monday will be fun for us.  OR maybe nicer to us in this New Year.  What do you think? 

I think it's worth a try, Big People! 

Hey, I'll see ya tomorrow!  I love ya lots, Friends!  Don't forget your Flair for Monday!  Muah!

Things Are Lookin' Up Again

It feels good to kick a cold to the curb, Big People.

Well, hiya, Friends!  Happy Sunday to you! 

You know what?  I caught a cold right after Thanksgiving, and I had to take some medicine from my doctor to get over that cold.  I even had to take eyedrops! 

Don't you know, I *just* got over the symptoms of that cold, when, last Saturday, I came down with ANOTHER cold?!  That's right.  I had to ring in the New Year with a Boogie Wipe in one hand and a ... well, I actually had a Boogie Wipe in each hand, because it was that kind of night, Friends. 

And then there was the coughing.  Every time I'd put my head down to go to sleep, I'd cough and cough and cough like a harbor seal.  "Argh! Argh! Argh!"

Just like that. 

I didn't think it was very fair, catchin' another cold so soon after I just got over my cold I had to go to the doctor for.  Why, I haven't even had a chance to go for my follow-up checkup from THAT cold! 

But here's what Mommy did.  I'm too little for cough syrup, so I drank pineapple juice.  I like my pineapple juice with some water, just to cut down on the intensity of straight-up pineapple juice.  Also, at night, I'd have BabyRub put on my front, my back, and my feet.  Yes, on my feet.  I have a friend who swears by this remedy, and I think there's something to it.  I think she's right.  And then I've been drinkin' the liquids like they're gonna raise the liquid-drinkin' age tomorrow.

It's all pretty much worked, I think.  Things are lookin' up again.  I didn't feel as crummy as I did with my post-Thanksgiving, pre-Christmas cold, and I didn't hafta go to the doctor this time.  Even so, it really feels good to kick a cold to the curb, Friends.  I hope if you're currently battling a germ, you'll feel like things are lookin' up again for you, too.  I love ya lots, and I'll see ya soon!  Muah!

Catchin' Up On My Readin'

You don't know what's out there unless ya look!

Hiya, Big People! 

Well, I'm gettin' started out on this New Year by catching up on my catalog reading.  I went on a catalog reading bender before Christmas, when I was buildin' up my Amazon Wish List, but then with the Holidays, I backed off on the catalog reading so I could enjoy my family.

Now I'm back at readin' up on the catalogs. It isn't because I'm not happy with what I have.  That isn't the case.  I'm grateful for what a lucky little kid I am.  But I like to look at the catalogs so I can see what's out there, available to me if I wanna put it on my list.  It's how I inform myself, in other words.

Plus, I really love looking at the colorful pictures and making up my own narrative about how those products act in the real world.  It's pretty exciting to think about.

On the other hand, sometimes, I'll be going through a catalog, and I can imagine how one of the things pictured would just sit around, collecting dust.  Being clutter.  And then I just take a mental snapshot of the catalog entry, and am happy that it's just a mental snapshot, and not an actual thing, taking up room in my house.  How about that?!

It's my version of window-shopping, when you get right down to it, Friends.

I love ya lots!  And I'll be seein' ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Jump Into a Great Year!

Friends, jump right in and have a great year!

Friends, as you know, today is the second day of a brand-new year!  Twenty-Fifteen! 

You know, I have a lot of things in my planner for Twenty-Fifteen.  Some of the highlights include spending more time on my beginner bike, celebrating all the holidays, going somewheres fun on vacation in the summer, riding in the classic cars as much as I can, eating a whole big glob of ice cream lotsa times, turning four, dressing up in an epic Halloween costume, becoming President of the World, visiting a few playgrounds, and maybe gettin' a slightly bigger Little Kid pool, if it's warm this summer.

How about that?!

I don't really make New Year's Resolutions, Friends, but I do like to take the long-view and think of the things I wanna do in a new year. So that's all the things I wanna work on in Twenty-Fifteen.

Oh, yeah!  I forgot!  I wanna ride a Merry-go-Round again!  Because that's just pretty darned fun!

Hey.  Have a great day, Friends!  We're gonna have a great 2015 together!  I love ya lots!  Muah!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

2015 is gonna be the Year of the Tigerbaby, Friends.  Year of the Tigerbaby!  Roar!

Hiya, Big People and Bing People!  How's your New Year's Day going so far?  Mine's goin' just fine.  Can't complain.  I got to stay up past midnight, and now I'm havin' a Mango Tango Vitamin C Lolliopo.  Can't beat that.  Mango Tango's my favorite flavor, on account of it bein' so much fun to say, and stayin' up past midnight is how I feel I was truly meant to live my life. 

I am a fabulous, fabulous night owl, Friends.  Always have been, but "Society" and "Mommy" and "Daddy" are tryin' to force me to conform to the "Morning Lark, Sleep when it's Dark" norm. 

Whatever.

In 2015, Friends, I'm resolving to be more Me than I've ever been before.  And I urge you to do the same.  Be you.  Be fabulous.  Whatever you do, though, don't be apologetic about it. 

I'm declaring 2015 the Year of the Tigerbaby.  You roar right along with me if you're a Tigerbaby, too, Friends!  I love ya lots!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!