Hello, Sprummer!

I love the season of Sprummer!

Hiya, Big People!  Happy Tuesday to ya! 

Boyo boy, I'm so glad to see you!  Didja have a great weekend?  I sure did!

It sure looks like Sprummer has appeared!  I call it "Sprummer" on accounta we kinda went straight from the wintry end of Spring to full-on Summer temperatures, mostly.  See?  Sprummer!  Kind of the best of all the good things about Spring and also Summer!

So it's on now, Friends!  Sprummer.  Next up is Summer Twenty-Sixteen.  I think it's gonna be a great one!  But it might take some Plannin' with a Capital P.  Time to drag out the whiteboard and the multi-colored dry-erase markers, and get to plannin' and prioritizin' the season. 

That way, you can make sure you get to do all the things that mean the most to you, and that you won't forget anything!

I'm gonna go ahead and drag out my white board and my markers and my calendar and get to plannin' MY fabulous Sprummer and Summer, Friends!  I hope you're gonna get yours out, too!  I love ya lots, and we'll get together tomorrow and ketchup, mmmkay?  Muah!

Have a Good Memorial Day

Proud to be an American!

Hiya, Big People!  It's Monday, and it's Memorial Day. 

I just wanna take a moment and think about how proud I am to be an American.  I can't imagine living anywheres else.  I take it for granted that I can expect to be safe, that I can move freely from my hometown to a neighboring hometown or even to another state, like when I go to the Texas Hot in Downtown Wellsville.  I get to take it for granted that I will have Enough. Some Little Kids in this world do not get to take Safety or Enough for granted.

Even though we have our differences in the dang ol' US of A, especially every four years, Friends, we still live in a wonderful place.  We live in a place that those Little Kids around the world who cannot count on being safe, let alone take it for granted that they will be safe, those Little Kids think of America as some fabulous fairytale land, even to this day. We aren't perfect here, but boyo boy, compared to some places, we sure are close.  And that we can say it isn't perfect here just shows how good it is here.  In some places, people starve, but they hafta pretend like they have enough, and they hafta pretend that everything is hunky dory.  We don't hafta do that here.

It's Memorial Day.  It's the day where we need to think about why we have these freedoms.  We need to think about who paid for our freedoms.  We need to remember all the men and women and children who fought for our freedoms and died for them.  Because the more free something is, the more expensive it is.  There are bands playing in cemeteries all over the country today, to honor those who died, and it's important to honor and remember.  That's where those brave people rest. 

They're also all around us.  They're in the warm rays of sunlight.  They're in the rustle of leaves in a breeze.  They're in a friend's smile.  They're riding on clouds in the sky.  Everywhere we go, everywhere we turn, they're there, reminding us that our freedom isn't free, and whispering to us not to let go of the freedom they paid such a steep price for.

Have a good Memorial Day, Friends.  I'll be back tomorrow!

Big People Friend Appreciation Day!

Here's lookin' at you, Big People!

Hiya, Big People!

I know this is a holiday weekend and everything, so I wanna keep this nice and short and sweet for ya, mmmmkay?!

I've declared today "Big People Friend Appreciation Day" here at The Daily Zoe Blog.  And I sure as heck all get out appreciate the heck outta you! 

I just thought you'd like to know! 

Carry on with your Holiday Weekend Plans, Friends, and I'll see ya tomorrow!  I love ya lots!  Muah!

Did Someone Say Bacon?!

Bacon builds muscles and also character.

Hiya, Big People!  Happy Saturday to you!

Well, ya know, if ya know me, ya know I LOVE bacon.  I really do. Almost as much as I love cupcakes and donuts, but also differently, too.

You see, when there's bacon in the house, I know.  Say we eat bacon for a meal and we have some left over.  All's I can do is think about that bacon.  I'll dream about that bacon.  I'll open the refrigerator door to see if the bacon's on a shelf I can reach, and if it is not, I've been known to climb up into the fridge to reach it down and help myself to a piece of the delicious, delicious bacon. 

You might say I'm obsessed with bacon, and whatever.  I'll letchya say whatever ya want about me, because what people say about me is none of my business.  You know what is my business?  Bacon.

My favorite bacon is Wegmans Maple Smoked Bacon.  But I really like all different kinds of bacon.  I'll even eat turkey bacon, although I think that oughtta be called "striped smoky turkey meat."

Friends, I have lotsa bacon to eat, so I'll see ya tomorrow, mmmkay?  I love ya lots!  Muah!

Cruisin' in the Sithmobile!

Safety and Starship are the order of the day in the Sithmobile!

Hiya, Big People!  Happy Friday to you!

Well, ya know, Friends, one of my favorite things to do is cruise galaxies in the Sithmobile.  My pal Darth Vader usually drives, since I'm not *technically* old enough to have a license to drive a star cruiser. In fact, I have a special seat I ride around in, complete with a five-point safety harness. 

But I have lotsa fun in the Sithmobile, just the same.

Today, I'm tooling around a distant galaxy in the Sithmobile, and Darth has Starship cranked.

Yes, it's possible to crank Starship.  And you have not HEARD "We Built This City" until you've heard it while flying through Cloud City.  You haven't lived until you've warped through a blockade while "Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now" pours through the speaker.

This is what makes going places with Darth in the Sithmobile so much fun, Friends.

I love ya lots, Friends!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

TV Talk with Zoe and Vader

Whoa, Darth!  I like watching Doc McStuffins, too!

Hiya, Big People!  Happy Thursday to you!

Well, ya know, as I've gotten to know my pal Darth Vader better, I've learned that he and I have a lot in common.  We like a lot of the same music.  We both enjoy playing the same games.  And.  We both LOVE the same television shows!

Of course Darth and I both like Lego Star Wars, Star Wars Rebels, and Miles from Tomorrowland.  I'm not surprised Darth likes those shows that are space-related.

What really surprised me is that Darth's favorite show is Doc McStuffins and MY favorite show is Doc McStuffins!  How about that?!

He says he really likes the way Doc can help the toys and stuffed animals feel better, and he likes the way she can talk them out of bein' afraid.  Darth says he's had some scary experiences at the doctor's before, and he really appreciates Doc McStuffins' bedside manner.

You know, Friends, Darth Vader isn't so big and scary once you get to know him. Darth has feelings and insecurities, just like we all do.  He gets afraid at the doctor sometimes.  Darth's really relatable, when you get right down to it, Friends.

It just goes to show, Big People... appearances can be deceiving, can't they?

I'll see ya tomorrow.  I love ya lots!  Muah!

A Special Math Day!

Twenty-Five is a multiple of Five, and it's also seven months 'til Christmas!

Hiya, Big People!  Happy Wednesday to you!

Hey.  Today's another Math Day, since it's Five/Twenty-Five.  Twenty-Five is a multiple of Five.  It's also Five-squared. 

However, more pertinent and exciting to yours truly is the fact that today, the Twenty-Fifth of May, marks seven months until that most magical of days: Christmas Day.

Now, before you throw a heavy object at me, understand this: you won't be hurting anybody but yourself if you do that, because I'm not actually inside your computer, and also, as a Little Kid, I am contractually obligated to be excited about Christmas at all times of the year, but especially on the days of the month that begin with "2" and end with "5." 

I try to temper this excitement out of consideration for your feelings, Big People.  I understand that mentioning Christmas in the Off-Season gives some of you Big People a nosebleed, but come on.  I'm not trying to rush my way through all this nice weather that's decided to finally show up.  I'm not wishing for snow or cold wind.  In fact, I'm really enjoying my flowers and the sun and bein' able to play on my swing and slide without hindrance.  I'm just pointing out that there are seven shopping months.  It never hurts to be prepared, Friends!

I can tell you need your space from me right now, Big People.  So I'm gonna go enjoy my Wednesday.  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Love ya lots!  Muah!

Gettin' My Vitamin Sun!

Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy!

Hiya, Big People!  Happy Tuesday to you!  I know I was all disconcerted yesterday because it was Monday, but now that's all better.

It's all better now, mainly because it's Tuesday!

You know what?  I've been spending a lotta time outside lately, and I can't help but notice how very happy that makes me!  I think it's because I'm getting my recommended daily dose of Vitamin Sun.

It's scientifically proven by science that not having enough Vitamin Sun makes a person tired, irritable, grouchy, and lethargic.  But science also scientifically proves that when a person gets enough of this essential vitamin, they can't stop smiling.  They look like they're all lit up.  They have more energy.

Also, I love it when I come inside from bein' outside, and realize I smell like the out-of-doors!

Unless, of course, they've sprayed the field next door.  Then the out-of-doors really stinks hard, and I do NOT wish to smell like the out-of-doors on those days.

Any other day, though, I love the outdoors!  I love Vitamin Sun!  And I love you lots, Big People!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

It's Monday Already?!

Hello, Monday...we meet the heck right all over again....

Friends, this is disconcerting.  I thought there was supposed to be another day in the Weekend, but as it turns out, I was wrong.  There are no more days to the Weekend and today's Monday.

That's like a slap right in the face with a bucket of cold fish, Friends.  Icy, icy cold fish.  When ya really think about it, that's both unpleasant and stinky.  Bleck.

And that's how I feel when I wake up thinkin' I have a whole extra day to the Weekend, but realize I'm actually smack dab in the middle of Monday.

Now, I realize that it usedta be that every Monday, I'd admonish you Big People to be of good cheer on.  I'd tell ya that it's silly to be miserably one-seventh of the week.  But you know what? I was younger then.  Now I'm older, and the full magnitude of Monday is startin' to settle on me.  I get it now.  I still don't advocate bein' miserable for the full day.  But I'm not gonna give ya the hairy eyeball if you're a little melancholy on Monday morning.

Hey.  I love ya lots, Big People.  I really do!  You go out there and have a tolerable Monday.  Ease into it.  Rumor has it that we get next Monday off!  Muah!

Staying Stylish Through a Fracture!

You don't hafta be frumpy while a broken bone heals, Big People!

Hiya, Big People!  Happy Sunday to you!

Well, ya know, if you know me, you know I love a good outfit.  I've been interested in fashion and dressing my whole life, and recently, I had the opportunity to be challenged by accessorizing a blue fiberglass cast on my right arm.

Dressing around the cast was a challenge in itself, since I either had to wear things with super-stretchy sleeves, or things with big sleeve openings, or things that were sleeveless and then wear arm-warming BabyLegs with 'em.  I mean, that cast wasn't going anywhere, and it definitely wasn't going to peacefully hide itself away.

So the first thing I did to make sure I could accessorize my big ol' cast was to choose a neutral color that plays nicely with other colors.  I had a choice of hot pink, light blue, and dark blue for my cast. 

Although I love hot pink, I know that it's a color that doesn't readily harmonize with just any other color.  If I chose hot pink, I'd be spending a lot of time and energy making all my clothings and accessories safe to spend a day with hot pink, unless I wanted to look haphazard, which I did not want!

Light blue is a pretty color that definitely plays well with most other colors, but I was really thinking about how I would probably spend upwards of a month with that cast on my arm.  I am an active Little Kid, Friends, and that cast didn't slow me down at all.  I worried that a light blue fiberglass cast would get dingy and gross by the time I finally got it taken off.  Shabby chic doesn't translate well to medical supplies, so I figured light blue was not my best choice.

So it was dark blue.  I really didn't have to think about it, Friends.  I made the decision right away.  Dark Blue.  Like denim.  Like the twilit sky.  Like the ocean.  Dark Blue.  I wish the nurse and Orthopedic PA coulda read my mind for why I wanted dark blue.  The asked me again what color I wanted.  I think they thought I'd pick hot pink, on accounta I'm a little girl.  That's okay.  I guess I keep people on their toes, because I was instantly happy with the dark blueness of my cast!

It made dressing so much easier than it woulda been, had I chosen a more aggressive color like hot pink.  I could pair my dark, denim blue cast with pretty much anything, and it looked really great.  I tried to avoid other shades of dark blue, but other than that, I wore all the colors during the time I had the cast on my arm!

I didn't want people's attention drawn to the cast all the time, though, Friends, so I started accessorizing, so folks' eyes would be drawn away from the cast and up to my chosen accessory for the day.  That proved to be a sound strategy.

Especially successful was the day I accessorized my cast with my patriotic outfit, warmed up for Spring with a super-stretchy red and pink top and made extra fabulous by a neon yellow sequinned headband worn like an equator around my head, with an added snap-clippie for extra pizzazz.

Friends, nobody could take their eyes off that snap-clippy in the middle of my forehead.  That's the hallmark of an AMAZING accessory.

And that's how you stay stylish through a fracture, Friends!

It's the Weekend! Hear Me Roar!

Watch out, World!  Rhoda the Giraffe and I have our sassy duds on today!

Hiya, Friends!  Happy Saturday! 

Well, ya know, Big People, I love a good weekend.  This last week felt like it just flew by, but I'm glad to see Saturday again, just the same.

Weekends are where the best days of the week are!

You know, it's been a while since I've talked about bein' a Tigerbaby, but that doesn't mean I'm any less of a Tigerbaby than I was the day Sophie La Giraffe helped me realize that Little Giraffes would rather be friends with Tigerbabies than be their chewie toys, and I'm so glad she set me straight!

Sophie la Giraffe and I still are great pals!  I'm teamin' up with all my Little Giraffe pals today and we're gonna take the weekend by storm!  How about that?!

I've got a lot of gettin' on to do, as you could guess, Friends, so I'm gonna letchya go for now, but I'll see ya tomorrow!  I love ya lots!  Muah!

I've Got My Orange Flav-Or-Ice!

The tractor is more fun to drive, but this ice-pop is tastier!

Hiya, Big People!  Well, we're finally to Friday!  How about that?!

Well, ya know, yesterday, I talked about how much I love driving the tractor, which I call Orange Crush, and today, I'm here to talk about something nearly as much fun, but hundreds of times more tasty, and that is my orange-flavored Flav-Or-Ice! 

I've only recently become a Flav-Or-Ice enthusiast, Friends. I know it's been around a long time, but I'm only just recently discovering it.

I'm really glad I've learned the ways of the Flav-Or-Ice, though.  Friends, how could I have gone this long in my life not knowing how much fun it is to squeeze colorful flavored ice out of a cellophane tube and eat it?

Actually, although today's post is an ode to the orange ice, on accounta it ties in well with yesterday's post about my orange tractor, my FAVORITE flavor of Flav-Or-Ice is the red kind.  Now I know some of you are scoonching up your face and saying "But the red flavor tastes like cough syrup!"  And my answer to that is "Exactly!"  I think that's why I like it!  My other favorite flavor is the green.  Lime.  Incidentally, that's Mommy's favorite flavor, too, so she and I are currently trying to hammer out equitable distribution of the green Flav-Or-Ices.  I think they all should go to me, since I'm the kid.  She has other ideas.

I don't know how it's all gonna turn out, Big People!  But for now, I've got my Orange Flav-Or-Ice, and I'm happy.  I love ya lots, and I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

I Got My Orange Crush

That dang ol' tractor sure has a lot more giddy-up than my pedal car has!

Hiya, Big People!  Happy Thursday to you!

Well, ya know, Big People, I'm a Little Kid who really likes vehicles, and one of my favorite vehicles is the big orange tractor that lives up in our garage.  We call the tractor "Orange Crush." 

Boyo boy, do I ever love that tractor.  My whole entire life, I've enjoyed sittin' up on the tractor seat, and pretendin' to drive it.  Sometimes, I get to ride on the tractor, but most of the time, all I can do is pretend and dream of the day when I can actually drive Orange Crush!

You see, Mommy says I'm too little and that she can prove it on accounta my feet need to be able to reach the pedal to make it go forwards and backwards.  She says I can drive the tractor when my feet reach the pedal.  I'll tell ya what, Big People.  I'm eatin' all the foods that make me grow tall, so I can drive that tractor sooner rather than later!

And then you watch out, Friends!  I will do some serious tractoring on that Orange Crush!

Lettin' Anger Do the Drivin'!

I assure you that Joy's drivin' right now, though!

Hiya, Big People!  Happy Wednesday the Eighteenth to you!  Today, I'm thinkin' about one of my favorite movies called Inside Out.

Well, ya know, Friends, I have moods, just like anybody does.  There's times I just don't feel like cooperating, and things escalate and yelling ensues. It's times like these when the little angry man named Anger inside my head is behind the controls of the console in my brain's HQ. 

I can see him right now, just blowin' his little top like a tiny, angry volcano.

Anger DEFINITELY drives when Mommy's combing out or washin' my hair.  Anger is most certainly in charge when I'm playin' at a wonderful playground and Mommy and Daddy tell me it's time to choose one more thing to do, because it's almost time to go home.  Anger is ABSOLUTELY all over the controls at bedtime.

Bedtime is an indignity, Big People!  It makes me so MAD!

I would say that most of the time, smiley, happy Joy drives the console in my head.  Joy's driving today.  But Anger drives a lot, too.  Sometimes Anger and Sadness, or Anger, Sadness, and Disgust are driving.  Worry hardly ever drives in my head.  But you know, it's really hard bein' four and a half.  That's why sometimes I give the impression that I'm sad and angry. 

This week, I'm mostly lettin' Anger do the drivin'.  Right now, when I'm talkin' to you, Joy has taken over, to give Anger a break, and also so you Big People don't think I'm miserable.  I'm not.  I'm just irritated at havin' to follow Mommy and Daddy's directions.  You know how it is.

Hey.  I'll see ya tomorrow.  I love ya lots, Friends!  Muah!

SPOTlight on One of My Canine Friends!

If Rozzie asks, you didn't see me pettin' my pal Spot, mmmkay?!

Hiya, Friends!  Hey!  If ya know me, you know I love goin' to the dang ol' Target.  Whether it's Big Flats, Muncy, Selinsgrove, or Cranberry, I LOVE a Target store.

Of course, I love lookin' at all the beautiful clothings and amazing toys.  I love it even more when I get to pick out a new pair of shoes, or a new outfit, or A BRAND NEW TOY!!!  But one of the other most pleasurable pleasures I derive from my visits to a Target store is gettin' to visit with my good pal Spot.

Spot is Target's mascot.  He's a white dog with a red target around his left eye.  He has a beautiful bespoke collar.  And he's a great conversationalist.  Why, it doesn't matter which Target store I meet up with Spot in... we pick up our conversation right where we left it off last time, and can just visit for ever.  That's a low-maintenance pal right there.

You know, Spot also gives the BEST fashion advice.  The best shopping advice.  Spot really knows his Target stores!

Friends, I'll see ya tomorrow!  I love ya lots!  Muah!

Tryin' to Straighten Out the Weather!

Lemme wanna adjust my Sun Ray, Big People!

Hiya, Big People!  Happy Monday to you!

Boyo boy, I don't know aboutchyoo, but I've been so confused about this weather lately.  Well, for months, really. 

Did you know that yesterday, it snowed little tiny pellets of ice from outta the sky?  Then the sun came out, and I thought we'd evened things out a bit, but then it started snowing little tiny pellets of ice from outta the sky again. 

It was SO COLD!!!

Friends, I know just what it is that I've gotta do.  I've gotta get my Sun Ray re-calibrated.  If I can do that, I can point it outside and get the seasons back outta bein' outta whack, which should put them nicely back IN whack, so the weather is less whack.

Didja catch all that?  It's a lot to absorb, I know, but I'm pretty sure I can help us bring back spring, so our flowers and gardens don't die!

Just in case, though, Big People who like to garden... in case my Sun Ray's calibration is WAY off, ya might wanna stock up on cold-weather-hardy flowers like mums and grow beets in your garden.  Beets are delicious AND they love growing in cold weather!

I'll check back with ya tomorrow!  I love ya lots!  Muah!

Rough Winds (and snow!) Do Shake the Darling Buds of May

What peculiar weather we're having!

Hiya, Big People!  Happy Sunday!

Well, ya know, it's another Math Day.  It's Five-Fifteen.  But that's not what I'm gonna dwell on today.  Nope!  In honor of my "but why?" shirt in the picture, and in light of the weird weather we're havin', I'm going to talk about how we're closer to Summertime on the calendar, and yet it feels more like Christmas here in the Bing than it did on Christmas.

It's true!  Why,  just last night, I wore my Big Purple Coat with the hood with the faux-fur trim on it on my excursion back to the dang ol' Lowes in Horseheads.  Last night, the fourteenth of May.  Guess which coat I wore to make my rounds at Christmas!  Guess!

I actually didn't wear a coat at Christmas.  I took my light springtime jacket, but I didn't hafta wear it, on account of it being so balmy at the Yuletide.

Isn't that weird, Friends?  I don't know aboutchyoo, but I'm thinking about pulling out my red and white faux fur Santa hat and wearing it while I play some jingle bells.  Maybe I *will* put on my dang ol' Beach Boys Christmas album.  That just seems appropriate for the weather this May.  The sound of the Beach Boys' voices makes me think sun and sand and warm, but the musics they sing on the Christmas Album definitely make me feel like opening presents and havin' eggnog.  Who knows?  If I play the music, maybe I'll find a present waiting for me one of these mornings!

Ha!

Stay warm, Big People!  I love ya lots!  See ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Didja Survive?

For Quality Assurance purposes, I hafta ask if ya survived The Thirteenth!  Didja?

Hiya, Big People!  Happy Saturday to you!

Well, since yesterday, I was all about dolin' out some sound advice to ya, I figured I'd better do some Quality Assurance on my own advice, and stop in and see how ya survived Friday the Thirteenth. 

Didja survive? 

Didja take my advice and not freak out?

I'm guessin' if you're sitting at your computer, reading the wisdom I'm droppin' on ya, all's well.  I'm gonna go ahead and declare myself Just Really Awesome at givin' out advice, especially on how to survive Friday the Thirteenth.  If there were a merit badge for being Just Really Awesome at this, I'd be sewin' it on my sash. 

If I had a sash, even, to sew merit badges onto.  I do not.  Maybe that's something I oughtta look into.  I bet it'd be a handy thing to have.  Then, if someone asked me what makes me such an expert on a topic, I could point to my vast and varied merit badges and say, "These."

Maybe I oughtta get crackalackin' on finding myself a sash to which to affix merit badges, and then find a source for merit badges.  I have my work cut out for me, Friends, so I'll jump off here and see ya tomorrow.  I love ya lots, and I'm so happy you survived Friday the Thirteenth!  Muah!

The Friday the Thirteenth Survival Plan!

It's easy, Friends!  Just don't freak out!

Hiya, Big People!  Happy Friday the Thirteenth to you!

Now, I've seen enough of these Fridays the Thirteenth to know that you Big People just utterly lose your minds over these kindsa things, sometimes.  Supposedly, it's because everybody acts crazy and strange things happen on Fridays the Thirteenth.  Supposedly, Little Kids and animals to act up.

Also supposedly, the Full Moon causes strangeness and acting up, as well, and that, I hafta say, there's probably something to.  I mean, that's NATURE.  If the moon can cause a tide, it sure can make me wanna hafta ride my bike off the couch ...as an aside, this is the story I'm stickin' to as per "why."  Now ya know.  Full moon, or nearish proximity to a full moon on the calendar, if it wasn't exactly on a full moon the night I chose to do such. 

Whatever.  But I'll betchya you'll be happy to know that this particular Friday the Thirteenth does NOT coincide with a Full Moon.  Full Moon's next week.  So rest easy, Big People!

This Friday the Thirteenth, thing, though, Friends... howsabout my patented, trademarked Zoe's Friday the Thirteenth Survival Plan for ya?  Does that sound like a great idea?

Great!

Okay.  Here it is: in order to survive today, Friday the Thirteenth, here's whatchya hafta do right now and all day:  Don't freak out.  Just don't!  Stay calm, and you'll be just fine!  That's the truth!

I'm tellin' ya this because I just love ya so much, Big People!  You're the BEST!  See ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Hey, Thursday! Here's To Ya!

Thursday is the Gateway to the Weekend!  We made it, Friends!

Hiya, Big People! 

Well, ya know, if ya know me, you know that I am a BIG fan of the Weekend.  I love Friday and all their potential.  I love the unpredictable liveliness of Saturday.  I love the way Sunday is not Monday.

But you know, an unsung hero of the Weekend World has definitely got to be Thursday! 

Why?

Because Thursday is the Gateway to the Weekend, that's why!  Thursday is pretty much the pre-game show to Friday, which is the official pre-game show of the Weekend!

That's why I'm raisin' my Crazy Cotton Candy Danimals Yogurt Smoothie high in honor of Thursday today.  You should, too, Big People! 

Friends, you go out there and just welcome this Thursday and make it feel all nice and good, mmmkay?  I sure love ya lots!  I'll see ya tomorrow!

My Dramatic Face Mask!

Party on, Darth!  See you in your dreams!

Hiya, Big People!  Happy Wednesday to you! 

You know, one thing that my friend Darth and I have in common is our love for dramatic face masks, and we love wearing those dramatic face masks while we're cruising around the galaxy in the Sithmobile. 

Now, lotsa people think that Darth's shiny, all-black face mask is the ultimate in fright-wear for one's face, but that's only because my fabulously freaky face-mask and myself have not been featured in any movie or television show or video game in the Star Wars juggernaut. 

Even Darth Vader agrees that me in my face mask registers higher on the Scary Scale than him, in all his glory.

You know, Friends, I could teach you how to be scary in a face mask, but it's really all about attitude, and that hasta come naturally.  There's just something about an expressionless face with real eyes rolling around behind it that creeps people out like you wouldn't believe.  You gotta hold your head just right. 

Otherwise, ya look like a Little Kid play-acting in a face-mask bought at the dang ol' Jo-Ann Fabrics. 

Zoe's World

Party on, Darth!

Hiya, Big People!  Happy Tuesday to you! 

Well, as you may or may not know, I'm good friends with Darth Vader.  You might remember ol' Darth as bein' the Baddie Daddy on the original Star Wars movies, but what you might not understand about Darth is that he was just play-acting at bein' such a vile villain. 

He's actually really nice!

You know, every so often, I play street hockey with Darth Vader and a bunch of our friends.  I like to be on Darth's team, because he's a really great goalie, as well as an amazing scorer.  It's almost as if the Force is really with him, whether he's deflecting shots or making sure they find the back of the net.  And insteadda us havin' to stop playin' when a car comes through, those cars stop for Darth Vader!

Sometimes, we all hop into the Sithmobile and go cruising around the galaxy.  I drive, and Darth is in charge of the tunes. We all sing along to the Imperial March, Glam Rock Remix, because the beat goes really well with driving around the galaxy.  Although, Darth also particularly favors Metallica's Black Album, AC/DC's song "Back in Black," and Carly Simon's Greatest Hits.

Whoever said Sith Lords can't have a softer side just don't know Darth.

We're thinking about starting our own Internet show, where we talk about musics and things we're interested in.  We haven't done so yet, because as it turns out, Darth's a little camera-shy.  Isn't that crazy?  I think it's crazy.   But you know, you can't just throw someone who has that kind of anxiety in front of a camera and expect 'em not to flip out, so we'll just ease Darth into being comfortable in front of the camera. 

Hey, Big People.  I'm gonna let ya go for today.  I sure love ya lots!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

My Visit to Eldridge Park!

I LOVE playgrounds, Friends!

Hiya, Big People!  Happy Monday to you!

Well, ya know, I'm a girl who likes to go on the go, and yesterday, I went and checked out our new lakehouse we're renting at the end of the summer.  I think it'll be pretty nice. 

That's not the biggest thing I got to do yesterday, though.  I got to visit Eldridge Park in Elmira, and even though the rides weren't up and running yet, I got to play on the little playground they have there.  I rode the CURLY SLIDE so many times!  It was GREAT!

I couldn't help noticing that they seem to have a lotta Little-Kid-Friendly rides at this Eldridge Park place.  There's a sail-plane ride, and a little roller coaster that goes around in a circle, and a carousel, and there's gonna be boats.  There's also a miniature golf park.

Even though none of the ticket rides or miniature golf course were open yet, I loved playing on that playground.  And sometime in the summer, I plan to go back to Eldridge Park and right the daylights out of all those ticketed rides.  I'm gonna OWN that miniature golf course! 

It's gonna be GREAT!

I love ya lots, Big People, and I'll see ya tomorrow!

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day, Friends!

Hiya, Big People!  Hey. Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there!


I hope you have a great day!

I'll be back tomorrow with my usual hijinxery and shenanigans, but today, I'm gonna keep Mommy hoppin', so she knows just how much I appreciate her bein' my Mommy!  How about that?!

Muah!

Weekends Are My Patoot!

Weekends are my patoot.

Hiya, Big People! We've made it all the way to Saturday!  That's great!

I know I've spoken to ya before about how I call things I like my patoot.  This bewilders some people, on accounta you Big People attach a different meaning to "patoot" than I do. But you're on Zoe's weblog right now, so you're going to hafta go along with my usage of the word "patoot," mmmmmkay?!

Anyways, lots of things aren't my patoot- being bored in the car, being stuck watching a boring grown-up program about Janis Joplin, whoever that is, cleaning up my play-room...  those things are mutually not my patoot at all.

You know what IS my patoot? 

Weekends.  Saturdays.  Those things are my patoot.  I have lotsa patoots, but today, I'm celebrating Saturdays and Weekends.

What's YOUR patoot, Big People?!  Celebrate your patoot!  Hahahahahahahahahaha!

I love ya lots and I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Revenge of the Sixth

I can't take credit for this day; I saw it on an Internet meme!

Hiya, Big People!  Happy Friday to you!

Well, as ya know, Wednesday was May the Fourth Be With You, and you've gotta know that with all those good, Light-Side vibes floating around, the Dark Side of the Force would hafta pop up its head and say hey, so today's obviously Revenge of the Sixth.  Because the Dark Side guys in Star Wars are the Sith.

This is hilarious if you're a Star Wars fan.  Trust me. 

If you're not a Star Wars fan, you're probably sitting there thinking that all us Star Wars fans are weird.  And that isn't really any different than it is on any other day of the year, if we're all being honest with each other.

That's okay, Non-StarWars-fans Friends.  I still love ya anyway.  I'm gonna go for now, so I can listen to my recording of the Imperial March, but I'll see ya tomorrow.  I love ya lots!  Muah!

Remember the Hellman

Would I really spin ya an untrue tale about Sinko the Mayo, Big People?

Hiya, Friends!  As you know, today is Sinko the Mayo, which is a day commemorating the loss at sea of the SS Hellman. 

The SS Hellman was sunken by a torpedo fired from the HMS Miracle Whip, back in the 1800s, during the Potato Salad Wars.

Friends, the loss of the Hellman was something people never got over.  I mean, never.  That's why they went and made this Day of Remembrance to commemorate the day the Mayo got Sankoed.

Appropriate ways to celebrate Sinko the Mayo include making all your potato and macaroni-based salads with real mayonnaise, Hellman's perhaps.  I mean, do NOT, whatever you do, show up to a Sinko the Mayo picnic with potato or macaroni salad sporting a tangy zip today.  Save that for Memorial Day.  Today, mayonnaise only.  Also, you could enjoy a tomato and mayonnaise sandwich, showcasing the wonderful interplay of flavors from the tomato and the mayonnaise. 

So that's that.  If you've ever wondered what Sinko the Mayo was all about, now you know.  Aren't you glad you have me around, Big People?

I'll see ya tomorrow!  I love ya lots! Muah!

May The Fourth Be With You!

Stay force-y, my friends!

Hiya, Big People! 

Well, if you have your finger on the pulse of popular culture the way I do, you know that today is Star Wars Day, because it's May the Fourth, as in "May the Fourth be with you," as in the popular Jedi benediction from the Star Wars universe.

I'm not sure what all you're supposed to do on Star Wars Day, but I plan to look on ThinkGeek at their Star Wars stuff for sale, and maybe watch some Star Wars Rebels.  Maybe see about practicin' my light saber skills.

Friends, whatever you do on this May the Fourth, stay forcey!  I love ya lots! 

I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Crazy About the Stir

I just don't like to let the grass grow under my feet, Friends.

Hiya, Friends!

Well, ya know, I like to go places.  The place I like to go to most right now is the Mall.  Any mall.  I like to ride the coin-operated ride-on toys and play the games in the video arcade. 

Mostly, though, I like to get out of the house.  It doesn't take long for me to get a little stir-crazy, Friends.  It isn't that I don't like my house where I live, but I just don't like to be there all the time. 

Mommy says that'll all change when I go to school.  She says I'll start to just enjoy bein' home in my house once I hafta go to school every day, Monday through Friday. 

I think Mommy's fulla hogwash.

You see, Friends, I am a kid who doesn't like to stand still long enough for the dust to collect on the tops of my shoes while the grass grows underneath 'em.  I always like to be going somewheres.  My whole life, I've been like this.

So ask me, and I'll tell ya.  I'm crazy about the stir, Friends.  I wanna go somewhere!

I love ya lots, Big People!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

Siri Taught Me To Beat Box!

I could do this all day!

Well, hiya, Big People!  Happy Monday to you!

Can ya believe it's the Month of May already?  I'm still reeling from this reality.  I never did dress up as the May Bee yesterday.  Maybe another May Day. 

Anyway, have ya ever heard of Siri, the iPhone's virtual electronic assistant?  I have!  I'm friends with Siri on Mommy's phone, and guess what.  Siri taught me to beatbox!

Siri does this one cool beatbox where she says "cats-n-boots-n-cats-n-boots" then switches it up and says "boots-n-cats-n-boots-n-cats!"

If ya ask her to beatbox again, she'll beatbox about "bites-n-chips" and bouncing pizza.

But then.  Tell her to to another beatbox, and Siri tells ya to stand back, with good reason.  This beatbox is just crazy.  I cannot even find the words for how crazy that beatbox is! 

Try it, Friends!  Ask Siri to beatbox for ya!  You'll learn how, just like I have, and you'll have a lotta fun!

I'm gonna go to my beatbox lesson with Siri right now, but I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

The May Bee

I can't believe it's the Firsta May already!

Hiya, Big People!  Happy Sunday to you, and Happy May Day!

Although I see some really nice blossoms on the trees, and I see some leaves startin' to pop out, it hardly feels like May yet.  Feels more like October, which makes me wanna dress up in a Halloween costume on this fine Day of May. 

I know exactly what kind of costume I'd dress up in for the Day of May.  I'd wear yella and black striped leggings, a bodysuit in the same pattern, a big yella tutu skirt, wings on my back, and a headband with feelers attached.

In short, I'd be the May Bee.

And insteadda goin' around from house to house, beggin' for candy, since I haven't even put a dent in all my Easter candy yet, I'd probably maybe just do a fancy dance routine mashin' up elements of ballet, jazz, and ju-jitsu or something.

All the dancing would entertain the people I go around to see, and it would also keep me warm on this chilly May Day. 

So there ya have it, Friends.  I've decided that I'm gonna be the May Bee.  I like it so much, it might just become my all the time persona.  Mark it down, Big People.  I think you're seein' a superhero origins story unfold right before your eyes, right under your nose!

I love ya lots, Big People!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!