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| No, I am not the Monday Monkey. |
Well, ya know, Friends, we usedta have Joe the Camel starring as the Humpday Camel. He'd go around to offices and places of work on Wednesdays and ask everybody if they knew what day it was. The answer was always "Humpday," if ya knew what was good for ya!
Joe the Camel definitely came on a little strong, and even though I count him as a dear friend now, back when I first met him, he bugged the dickens outta me. I was never so relieved as I was when I found out he got a job at a living manger scene at Christmastime, playin' the Archangel Gabriel.
That was a dang ol' relief, right there.
And as I shared with ya before, Joe the Camel is now the Dietary Dromedary at St. Laffalotatus- Mercy-Mercy Hospital. It's a good fit for him and for the hospital.
But. There's another animal in town. The Monday Monkey. The Monday Monkey comes into your office or cube or desk or corner on the floor where you sit and wait for someone to come along and ask you to make their copies or fetch their coffee. Anything you had in good array, the Monday Monkey just sloshes around with his crazy tail. He'll shuffle your papers. He'll draw self-portraits on your TPS Reports. He'll make copies of his butt on the Konica. Which, Ewwwww, Monday Monkey. And then, he'll just put random meetings and appointments into your schedule and telephone and email you at inopportune times.
Friends, the Monday Monkey is more obnoxious and attention-starved than Joe the Camel ever thoughtta bein'. I finally made friends with Joe the Camel. I don't think I'll ever be able to rehabilitate my relationship with the Monday Monkey. His acts are really, really egregious and unforgivable. There's no findin' out what makes Monday Monkey tick. There's just bitter, bitter distaste for Monday Monkey.
I don't like him, not one bit, Friends, and I don't think you do, either.
If you have any information on Monday Monkey I can use to maybe neutralize him, or if you happen to know Monday Monkey, perhaps you could ask him to update his LinkedIn profile, so perhaps he could get a job in the monkeyhouse at the zoo or something? Maybe he could go work in the gift shop? I don't know. His only skills are causing mayhem, from what I can tell at this point, but I don't think we need to introduce him to actual Mayhem from the insurance commercials, because I'm pretty sure Mayhem and Monday Monkey joining forces would cause some kind of temporal rip in the space-time continuum, creating a wormhole that sucks us to another dimension where...
Goodness, Friends, I've gotten myself all worked up. I'm going to MoonDollars for a pastry and a Bambinoccino. Don't tell Monday Monkey where I went, or that you even saw me, mmmkay? Not even to get him off your own back.
I love ya, Friends, but I'm serious. Do NOT send Monday Monkey my way! Muah!
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