My Pink Jeep

My first test-drive in my 2011 Pink Jeep!

 I've been driving my Pink Jeep since I was three months old, and I have to say, for my money, it really is the best way to get around.  I love the way the engine sounds, and I love the radio stations.  The horn, too.  Got to let people know I'm coming, so they know to look when I wave!

If traffic's decent, I like to drive the Pink Jeep in to the office.  I have my own parking space and everything.  How about that?  I don't like to do stop-and-start driving in it, though, because the Pink Jeep was meant for wide-open road, or wide-open off-road, not stopping every time it gets good and going.  So on the days when the Bing's experiencing heavy traffic, I take the North Bingham Underground.  I always make sure I have subway tokens in my purse, so I'm never stranded!  Never hurts to plan ahead!

My first traffic stop in my Pink Jeep.  Who knew Rozzie's the 5-0?

Every so often, I load up my Pink Jeep and take my friends with me on road trips, like Sophie the Giraffe, and Sabretooth, my bunny... Now that I think about it, I think it's been too long since I've taken me and my friends on a road trip.  I need to make a note of that and correct it!  Where do we go?  Anywhere we want, really!  As long as it's an adventure!  My Pink Jeep was built for adventure!

This is the day I went for donuts for my co-workers, and the donut place was all out of donuts!  Have you ever heard of such a thing in your whole life?  A donut place being out of donuts?!

 I owe a lot to my Pink Jeep, when you get right down to it, Friends!  Why, without the Pink Jeep, I bet there wouldn't be any The Daily Zoe or The Daily Zoe Blog to enjoy!  See, one day, my coworkers sent me out to fetch coffee and donuts for everybody.  They sent me because I'd been at the office the shortest, and also because I had the least hair.  So I had to go get donuts.  And would you believe the donut place had the nerve to be ALL OUT OF DONUTS!  I mean, they say 'Donuts' right on their big, light-up sign and everything, and there wasn't even a donut to be had in the whole building.  I thought they made them right there, but as it turns out, a semi-truck brings the donuts to the donut place.  Well.  They had an angry me on their hands, didn't they?  I mean, if you're a donut place, you just shouldn't run out!  And one thing led to another, and I got a free box of Munchkins and The Daily Zoe show over on the Facebook.  That's how it happened!  If I hadn't had the Pink Jeep, I wouldn't have been sent out for the donuts the Donut place didn't have! 


I guess I probably owe a little bit to the donut place being out of donuts, too, even though that fried my fritters that day.  I wouldn't have gotten all grizzly bear, if they'd had the donuts, as planned.  I would have just given the donut dude my money, put the donuts in my Pink Jeep, and headed back to the office for the usual workaday antics that go on in a place of work.

Isn't it funny how things can work out like that, Big People?  Something that, at the time, seems like a Great Big Nuisance turns out to get you to something pretty neat?  This ol' world is a place of endless wonder, at least I think.  You just never know what's around the next corner or over the next bridge!

Keepin' the Pink Jeep all shined up!  I never know when I'll run into a Pink Jeep Show!

On that note, Friends, I'm thinking about corners and bridges and hills, valleys, and roads cut through the woods, and my feet are itchin' to take the Pink Jeep for a spinaroo.  Maybe something wondrous will happen on my drive, and maybe not.  Either way, I know I'll have a good day, because I get to drive my Pink Jeep!

 You have a good day, too!  Zoe loves you!  Muah!

Why I'm So Happy All the Time

What makes me so happy?

 Hiya, Friends!  Zoe here!  People ask me all the time where I get all my energy, and why I'm so happy.  I've even been asked if my Mommy gives me any of Honey Boo-Boo Child's "Go-Go Juice."

Now, I don't drink juice, and I didn't know what a Honey Boo-Boo Child is, so I had to do some sleuthing on the Internet.  The Internet knows EVERYTHING!  And after I found out what both a Honey Boo-Boo Child is and what Go-Go Juice is, I hafta say, 'Good lord, NO!'

I'm sorry, what's a Honey-Boo-Boo Child?

I guess I get my energy from what I eat.  I like pretty much everything.  Carrots and sweet potatoes are my favorite, but I like spinach and squash and peas and pears and peaches and applesauce and beans- string AND legume... I eat all the different kinds of meats, too.  Beef and chicken and turkey and salmon and white fishes.  You know, I've even had luau food!  Mommy made some pork in the crockpot, and made it taste like it'd been cooked in a fire-pit, and then we had pineapple and poi with it!  I had it mixed right up, all together, and I really liked it!  I want to go to a real luau in the State of Hawaii someday!

So that's what I eat, to get me my energy.  No special thing.  I just make sure I get enough protein, and a variety of fruits and vegetables, and enough fiber.  Maybe I'm so happy, because I get lots of fiber.  Big people, do not underestimate that one!

As for being so happy all the time, well, I'm just like everybody else, really.  I get in moods sometimes.  I get discouraged.  But then, I get thinking about where I am in the world, and I look around.  I live in a really, really nice town.  It isn't big at all, but when anybody needs anything, people are there for each other.  It's safe here!  I have a nice comfortable place to sleep every night.  I never have to worry if I get to eat at my next meal, let alone if it's going to be good food.  I don't have to worry about dingoes eating me!  That ought to be enough to put a smile on anybody's face!  I have a best friend Rozzie.  I have nice toys to play with.  Some of them make noise, and some of them don't.  I get to wear nice clothes.  I don't have to wear raggedy leaves or dishrags.  I have nice clothes.

I'll pass on the Go Go Juice, but I'll have some milk instead, please!

And someday, I'm going to get to go to school and be whatever I want to be when I grow up.  I've heard on the news that in some spots in the world, little kids are too busy just surviving to get to go to school, and in other spots in the world, little girls aren't allowed school.  I know things aren't perfect, but at least I'm going to get to learn how to read and write and make numbers do magical things. 

And I believe in magic.  That makes me happy.  Not the kind of magic you're thinking I'm thinking of.  I believe in the magic that makes the world go around, that makes it get all light in my bedroom when it's time to wake up, and the magic that turns the leaves from green to red, and lets me feel Rozzie's soft fur and hear her bark and talk to me. 

I don't know what else to call it, so to me, it's magic, and that's all right.

I guess that's that, Friends!  I'm so happy, because I don't have a real reason to be sad.  I have my moments, just like anybody does, but in the end, I think I'm really lucky to be me, and to be where I am, and to have all my nice friends, just like you!  So I hope that if you ever get sad, Friends, you remember all the nice things you get to have and eat and see, too.  And always remember, Zoe loves you!  Muah!

Because I Wanted A Hug!

It's my hug, and I want it now!

The other night, I woke up out of a sound sleep, and my room was so dark, and I did just what everybody tells you not to do.  I panicked. I freaked.  I wailed.  And in came Mommy, just like the Cavalry, except she was in her jammies, and she wasn't on a horse or shooting anything.

Maybe she wasn't just like the Cavalry.  Maybe she was just like Mommy.  But I was upset with a capital UP and SET, and she came right over to my crib and lifted me out and gave me a big hug, and I settled right down. 

Hugs.  Now that's the ticket!  I don't even know what made me wake up, or why I got so worked up about it.  Most of the time, I can deal with stuff!  The last time I woke up in the middle of the night was all the way back on Daddy's birthday in March!  So I've had lotsa practice waking up in the night and falling back to sleep, but the other night, I needed a hug.

I have a leather rocking chair in my bedroom, and Mommy and I went and sat in it.  She rocked me, and held my head so I could hear her heart.  Just like the old days, when I'd need a bottle at four in the morning!  Mommy called this my "middle of the night bottle," but to me, it was just "first breakfast!"  Mommy and I used to sit in that chair, and I'd snuggle all up and drink my bottle, and she'd hug me and hug me, and I'd go back to sleep and next thing I knew, it'd be morning!

So getting a hug at two in the morning took me back.  Way back. I didn't even know that's what I was after, until I had it!

I'm doing all kinds of new stuff lately, Friends.  I've started dabbling in walking.  I sit up to the table like a Big Girl.  I'm riding in a new carseat.  I get to eat big-people food, and animal crackers and drink real milk instead of formula.  Sometimes, it all gets to be too much, too fast, too overwhelming.

And I just need a hug.  Makes things allllllll better!

What's the Deal With Shopping Carts?

No matter where I go, the shopping carts all face the same way.

 Hiya, Friends!  Zoe here!  Today I want to talk about something that's been bothering me ever since I left my baby carrier behind and started riding in the shopping cart like a Big Girl. 

How come the seats all face me toward Mommy, instead of being turned around so I can see where we're going?  It's the same wherever we go, whether it's JoAnn's, Target, Wegmans, Market District at Giant Eagle, Whole Foods, Trader Horn, Kmart, Tops, or Giant Food Mart in Downtown Wellsville.  That Giant Food Mart- their people might make a difference, but their shopping carts are certainly the same.

Even at Whole Foods, my view never changes!

And I've got to say, I'm kind of tired of riding backwards and seeing just Mommy.  Don't get me wrong.  I love my Mommy.  But I see her all the time at home.  When I go out to the store, I want to see different things.  It's bad enough that I have to just watch the back of the back seat in the Jeep, because I have to ride facing backward.  At least let me look ahead and see things when I'm riding in the shopping cart at the store!

Now, when I'm out and about with Mommy, I take the opportunity to network and converse with other little kids I see in stores, and they all say the same thing.  They say they'd like to be able to face forward instead of looking at their Mommies, too!  We're little, and the world is really big and exciting, and we just want to see everything new that we can!

Please let us see where we're going, Big People!

You know, if I got to ride in the shopping cart forwards instead of backwards, I wouldn't need Mommy to bring in so many stroller toys to keep me occupied while we're getting our groceries.  Watching all the other people would be entertainment enough for me!  And I bet I'd be able to use my sharp little eyes to spot fun things on end caps that Mommy might miss, because she's looking at her shopping list.  I could really be a big helper at the grocery store, if I rode facing forward!  And I love to help!

Plus, I learn so much from watching people.  You wouldn't believe the things I learn, Friends!  I get real-world knowledge of fashion dos and don'ts, real-live examples of how to act and how not to act, and how people decide what packages should go in their baskets!  It's endlessly fascinating!  That's why I'm always trying to crane my neck around to see, when I'm riding in the shopping cart!  

Whose idea was it to make us shop so all's we can see is our Mommy, anyway?  Why does it hafta be this way?  We've put men on the moon and remote control cars on Mars, Big People?  Why can't somebody come up with a shopping cart that lets a little kid face the world?  Why can't they?

I guess until somebody does rework all the shopping carts so they're more fair to their passengers, I could maybe rig up something like a rear-view mirror that hooks onto the handlebar, and be happy watching that.  Of course, I'll have to remember that everything in a mirror is opposite.  That'll take a little brain power.  But I'm up to the challenge, Big People!  And I hope somebody out there is also up for the challenge of revolutionizing the way little kids like me ride in shopping carts!  I really hope so, Friends!

Takin' My Show on the Road!

"Oh, that's just wonderful!"

Hiya, Friends!  Zoe here.  Well, the other day, I had the opportunity to take my show on the road.   Instead of speaking about the plight of the Little Giraffes of the Wild Steppes of the Binghams, I talked about another passion of mine: motor vehicles!

"Anybody have any idea why we're still clapping?"

I really get a kick out of cars.  I like 'em all.  Old or new, sporty or off-roaders.  They're all great in my book!  But my favorite is my Pink Jeep.  And that's the message I hope I got out during the speaking engagement.  There were a lot of us on the panel.  You know how that is.  Everybody gets their time to speak, everybody gets their time to listen.    But the oddest thing happened.

See, after this one person was finished with their talking, we started applauding, like you do.  They weren't outstanding, but they weren't awful, and we all were clapping, but the thing of it is, nobody wanted to be the first one to stop clapping, lest it be misconstrued that out of all these people, the one who stops clapping first hated what they had to say the most, and decided to stop the clapping.

Situations like that are awkward, I think.  So we all just kept clapping and clapping, especially those of us on the panel, and all I could think of was how numb my hands were getting, and how much I wanted to go to the expo area to look at all the things I could buy for my Pink Jeep.  I've been eying up a set of off-road lights for EVER, and I didn't want someone else to make a deal on them at the expo while I was stuck on this panel, clapping and clapping and clapping for this one speaker who wasn't all that great, but wasn't too bad, just not good enough to warrant all that clapping.

So guess what I did.  I stopped clapping.  I was that person.  Because it was time to call enough Enough.  And then I rubbed my hands on my head, to make sure I still even HAD hands, they were so numb from all the clapping.  I just didn't know what to do. 

Do you ever get that, Big People?  You're in an awkward situation, and then you react kind of weird, and then feel silly?  It happened to me.  And it is what it is.  But.  SOMEBODY needed to stop the clapping.  I mean, we would have missed the luncheon!  I wouldn't have got any pudding!  My off-road lights were in the danger of being sold out from under me and away from my Pink Jeep at the Expo!  I could never live with myself!

 

 

"Oh, puff.  I give up. I've got to get to the Expo to get my off-road lights!!!"

 So I stopped the clapping.  But I'm not an applause killer, I swear!  I hope I don't get that reputation.  I'm going to start wondering now if every time I'm asked to be on a panel at things where people speak if it's because I'm the one who stops the clapping.  I mean, somebody's got to, but I don't want it to always hafta be me!  Somebody, anybody, start up a rousing chorus of "If You're Happy and You Know It, Clap Your Hands," and I'll clap my hands until I'm blue in the face!  I promise! 

I Love the 1980s!

I feel the 1980s could be my second home!

Hiya, Friends!  Zoe here!  Boy, I've got to tell you something.  I love the 1980s!  Want to know why?  Well, I'll tell ya.

I bet you didn't know, but I'm a student of fashion.  I just love it.  And I've recently been all about the 1980s. I just love how they used fluorescent colors everywhere, especially paired up with black backgrounds.  That just really makes all those happy colors just POP!  Take my outfit to the left.  It's a kitty, rendered in Day-Glo faux-stitching, on a black bodysuit, and there's a pink ruffly bustle on the bottom.  I love this outfit the way it is, but if I really wanted to '80s it up, I'd add some legwarmers in hot pink, fluorescent green, and electric blue and also some pointy-toed black high-heeled shoes.  Then I'd put on an armful of bangle bracelets, or even some rubber bracelets, a pair of big, dangly earrings, and spray my hair right up crazy, so even a windstorm wouldn't move it.

I know some of you are twitching in horror right now, at what I've just said.  I realize there was a very dark side to the fashions of the 1980s.  Linebacker shoulder pads, for one thing.  Awful.  And wearing white Reebok Freestyle high-tops with the power suits with the linebacker shoulder pads.  Gosh, I guess if I had lived when those things were seen in the wild, I'd probably groan a little bit every time I thought about the 1980s.  But for  me, I wasn't there, in fact, and I get to pick what I want to focus on about back then.

Here, let me just show ya how the music sounds!

For me, it's all about the bright colors, and the crazy hair!  Man, I love to wear my hair crazy!  It's my thing.  And in the 1980s, EVERYBODY had crazy hair, and it was just the way it was!  People at the Wegmans check out didn't commentate on the crazy hair, because if they did, their voices would get tired from all the commentation.  I've decided that when I get me some more hair, I'm wearin' it big and crazy, just like the 1980s, except with a 2010s spin on it.  Mommy says our hair products are better than what you all had in the 1980s.  She mentioned something about something called Aqua Net, and how it made high school hallways the most flammable places on earth, especially between classes.  Sounds a little dangerous!

Then there's the music from the 1980s.  Maybe you know this about me, maybe you don't, but I am passionate about Dance Music from the 1960s.  It just makes me happy all over.  But I betcha didn't know that I also love music from the '80s!  My new Ballapalooza toy plays the best '80s-inspired music, that every time I'm playing with it, and the music gets going, and the lights get flashing, I'm instantly taken back to what I think 1986 was like, and I just dance and dance. 

I don't know what it is, Big People, but I feel like if I had to pick a different decade to have a summer home in, I'd probably pick the 1980s.  They just seem like they'd be fun to visit every so often.  When I really get right down to it, though, I'm glad I live in the decade of right now, because I get to have the fun of ALL the decades.  One day, I can dress like a flapper if I want, from the Roaring Twenties, and the next day, I can wear a 50s poodle skirt, or a minidress and gogo boots from the 60s, or do my hair crazy like the 1980s.  One thing's for sure.  No matter which decade you're in, everything's just a little more sparkly with a disco ball.  And I'm still waiting for mine!

Zoe's Disco Dreams

Still dreaming of my disco ball I don't have yet.

Well, Friends, last night was my first night with my closet all cleaned out and organized.  I didn't have any of the monsters stop in.  This disappoints me.  As I learned from watching Monsters, Inc., the monsters are actually really friendly guys!  They're just tryin' to make a living like the rest of us. 

I think I didn't get any monster friends stopping by because they know I don't have a disco ball in my closet yet.  Don't get me wrong.  I love my closet.  I'm told I have the best one in the house.  But it's kind of like just a big white box.  A disco ball would really perk it up.

I know better than to ask for some paint in there.  But someday, I'm going to have to insist.  I can't become the number one premier closet location for Monster Parties with just a white box for a closet.  Would you want to visit a hotel ballroom for your party, and have it just be a bare floor with plain white walls and no disco ball?  I wouldn't think so!  It's the same with my closet.  It's a little space.  It has no excuse not to be FABULOUS.  That's what I have to say about it, anyway.

In other news, isn't it funny the way the weather works?  I was just thinking back to the beginning of September, and it was hot outside!  And now, I have to put on my long-sleeved bodysuits under my outfits, and Mommy's trying to bribe me into wearin' socks.  Me!  Remember?  I don't like to cover up my Feet of Fury.  I don't care how cold it gets outside!  But that's not where I was going with this.  Where I was going with this is that just last month, in the beginning of September, it was so hot the icing for my birthday-party cupcakes melted while Mommy was trying to get them done, and now that it's October 1st, it's a little chilly.  I guess that's why the last four months of the year end in "Brrrrrrrrrrr!"

Truth is, I like it hot outside, and I like it cool outside.  I like all kinds of weather, really.  You just gotta know how to adapt to the different weathers.  You know why I like the hot weather?  'Cause I can swim outside in my pool.  I guess I get to swim inside in my pool here in the winter, if I wanna.  but it's more fun to be outside, 'cause it's summer and I can see my Aunt Colleen and Uncle Lorentz more often.  She's a schoolteacher all the way on Mars!

But I like the cool weather, too.  I like my little heater in my bathroom.  It blows out hot air, and I think it's so much fun to get out of the tub, and have the heater on while I get dressed.  It makes my bathroom seem like a spa.  At least in my head.  That's what I'll call it from now on.  The 'In My Head Spa and Retreat for Me, Zoe!'  How about that?

You know what it really needs, though?  Besides my little heater and my bath toys?  A disco ball.  Everything's better with a disco ball, I think.  Everything.