A Word to the Wise....

Normally, I'm very mild-mannered.

You know what, Big People?  Just because I'm a little kid doesn't mean I'm not passionate about things.  Take my food, for instance. 

But I have my hot-button issues!

No taking candy from THIS baby, Babies!

Actually, DON'T take my food!  That's what gets me all fired up!  Big time! Remember, I am a Tiger Baby at heart.  I might have come to an armistice with the Little Giraffes and even have gone so far as to devote my life to helping further their cause and raise awareness for their plight.  But if you try to take my food from me, I will go crazy on you.  We're talking Toddler Teeth, head-butting, and of course, my Fabulous Feet of Fury.

In short, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry.  Or hungry.  Being hungry makes me angry.  And if you've taken my food, that means I'm hungry AND angry.  Franken-Zoe angry.

So, a word to the wise, Friends.  Don't take candy from babies in general, and definitely don't try messing with this baby's vegetables.  I love my vegetables!  You don't want to see me unleash my Tiger Baby-ness, now.

As long as we understand each other, we'll get along juuuuuuust fine, Friends! Mmmmmmmkay?

And always remember, Zoe loves you!  Muah!

Hiya, Friends! Welcome Back!

I feel like I've been away for ages!

 Happy 2013, Friends!  I feel like I've been away from you for so long!  How were your holidays?  Mine were great!  I feel all recharged and refreshed from my break! 

It's time to get down to business, after such a long vacation!  No excuses!  It's a new year, and I'm rarin' to go, Big People!  Rarin'!"

I've already been busy this year.  Yesterday, I went to the Wegman's with Mommy and Daddy.  Boy, were there ever a lot of people in the store, for it being a real-live holiday!  Of course, when isn't there a lot of people in that store?  I wouldn't know how to act if I went to the Wegman's  and there wasn't anybody there, I'd be kind of creeped out!

I'm cookin' up big things this year!

And the day before yesterday, I tried out the new crayons Gramma got me.  You know what, Friends?  I LOVE using crayons!  I didn't even try too hard to eat 'em, like I did that time at the dang ol' Cracker Barrel!

I've been cookin' up a storm in my new kitchen, too.  Santa Claus really came through for me!  And I've already sent him a chicken potpie I baked in my new oven.  When he came for Christmas, he left me a magic teleporting Thermal Tote and instructions for how to use it, and I cooked Santa Claus that potpie and sent it through the teleporting Thermal Tote.  He said it tasted great, and he liked my Elevendy-Lemon sauce I made to go with it!

I don't understand how the teleporting Thermal Tote works, really, but I know it does!

Take time to dance, Friends!

I want all my friends to dance some more this year.  Dancing makes me happy, and I think it'll make you happy, too.  Don't feel self-conscious, Friends!  Just put on some music and move!  You'll just feel happy all over!

Also, try out new music that you don't know you like.  That's how I got on to Classical music.  I didn't know I liked Classical music, and then I got a radio that only plays Classical music, and I just love it, Friends!  Now, whenever I can, I like to grab Grampa's iPod, because he has Classical music on his iPod, and I like to listen to it!

And drink your water!

But my favorite dancin' music is still my '60s dance music.  Or maybe the Music of the 1980s.  I can't decide.  I like it all!  I like all music, Friends!  And you just don't know what you like until you listen and try it!

And drink your water!  It keeps your cells nice 'n' plump.  That's a good word, isn't it?  At least for cells.  I think I'd be a little mad if somebody told me my rump was plump.  But my cells?  They can be as plump as can be, because I drink lotsa water!  You should, too!

We're going to have a great year, Friends!  This is going to be a great one!  Happy 2013!  Happy, happy, happy!  Remember that Zoe loves you!  Muah!

On the Last Few Days

I have hope for the future, Friends!

Boy, Friends.  These last couple weeks have really made me wonder that kind of world I've been sent into.  I've talked about it over on the Facebook, but I know not everybody's on the Facebook, so forgive me for repeating myself, if you've already heard this.

The last couple weeks have been the kind where even the adults have been afraid.  A terrible thing happened in a place where little kids are supposed to be safe. 

But then while I was looking over Mommy's shoulder on the Facebook, I saw a quote from Mister Rogers: "When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, 'Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.' To this day, especially in times of 'disaster,' I remember my mother’s words, and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers - so many caring people in this world."

It made me feel better, hearing that Mister Rogers would get scared, and it made me feel better to know that there are people who are helping.  And it got me thinking.  We ALL get afraid sometimes and need help.  So what if ALL of us are helpers, too?  I can't help but feel like if we're all helpers in some way, we'll have nothing to fear. I know I haven't been in this world for very long, but I think this is the way it can be. This is what it means to be in a family. This is what it means to be in a community. We're all the helped and we're all the helpers.

There are always going to be bad people in the world, Friends.  But we can't let them make us afraid all the time.  We can't let those bad people take away our hope.  In dark times, we all have to get our flashlights out and hold them up for each other.  We need to be good to one another, give hugs when somebody needs hugs.  Being nice matters, Big People!

I'll be here, Friends. I'll be here tomorrow to see you. And I'll be here the day after that. And the next. I'll be here next Saturday, and so will you. I'll be here the Saturday after. 

 Friends, let's not just sit and hope things get better. Let's start making them better, ourselves. We have all the power in the world! 

 And remember, Zoe loves you!

My Visit With Santa

Santa, I can explain....

 Well, yesterday, I rode to Coudersport for my visit with Santa Claus.  Now, as you know, Santa and I chat quite often on the phone, but I haven't seen him in person since last year in Pittsburgh. 

Now, I know Mommy has bandied about the words "unmitigated disaster" on the Facebook.  Before you believe everything that comes out of her fingertips, allow me to present my side of things, Big People, Friends.

Okay.  I'm not going to deny that I cried when I saw Santa.  It could have even been construed as a "meltdown."  Yeah.  It was pretty big, and I'm embarrassed about it.

The thing is, Santa's a Big Hero of mine.  I adore the man.  He's been my icon for goodwill and being kind to everyone for my whole entire life.

You know I love you, Santa!

And yesterday afternoon, when I finally saw him, I was so overcome with emotion that I couldn't help but burst into tears.  I couldn't help it!  Mommy says she'd liked to have crawled into a hole, but I'd like to remind her that I cried the first time I saw her, too, and you all know how much I love Mommy!

Anyway, I called Santa on the phone last night, while he was in his Teleporting Airstream Travel Trailer, and he said there were no hard feelings.  Lots of little kids cry when they see him, for many of the same reasons I did.  And he thanked me for not peeing on his lap. 

Well, when you look at it like that, my visit with Santa Claus wasn't such an unmitigated disaster, as Mommy calls it.  That Mommy!

Santa told me that I'd better be asleep when he comes to my house on Christmas Eve, but he'll check in on me.  And of course, Santa and I are still friends.  We're still buddies!  We stay in touch!  Santa Claus doesn't want me to dwell on feeling bad because I sort of spazzed out on him.  So I'm not going to.  We all have days like this!

Stubborn Problems Call For Stubborn Problem-Solvers!

I've got a stubborn problem on my hands!

Well, hiya, Big People!  How the heck are ya today?  It's Thursday the Thirteenth, you know.  Is that a thing?  Does anybody know?  I know people kind of lose their minds about Friday the Thirteenth, but what about Thursday the Thirteenth?  I'll have to look into this. 

You know what I'm also looking into?  A solution for those Little Giraffes of the Wild Steppes of Wexford.  If you just said "But Zoe, I thought you had their plight all taken care of, with your fancy shuttle bus, to take the Little Giraffes of the Wild Steppes of Wexford around to the different eateries and healthy grocery stores, so they wouldn't think they need to cross that busy Route 19 to go to Sonic all the time!", believe me, Friends.  I thought I had it all figured out, too.  That shuttle bus seemed like such a great idea.

I know I've told you before, but just for the sake of review, I'll repeat myself. The Little Giraffes of the Wild Steppes of Wexford weren't happy with my solution, because they thought the shuttlebus was taking them to salad bars too often and not to the Sonic enough, so they started heading over to the Sonic after the shuttlebus would drop them off for the day.  So not only are they getting all those extra calories, which was MY concern, they're also having to cross Route 19 again.  That's what brought the Little Giraffes in Wexford to my attention in the first place.

Do you know Route 19 in Wexford, Friends?  Why, it's crazy!  Traffic everywhere!  People turning left, people turning right... people trying to beat the red lights!  It's just a bad situation!

It can be discouraging when problems don't stay solved!

Well, and then you know, the other thing I'm trying not to make to big a deal out of: The Sonic itself!  Don't get me wrong.  Sonic's a great sometimes-treat place, but the Little Giraffes of the Wild Steppes of Wexford have really been going there too much!  Everything has such high calories.  Are there salads at Sonic?  If there were, even the SALADS would cost a bazillion calories apiece!  I don't know what the Little Giraffes are eating at the Sonic, but I bet it's the tater tots or the mozzarella sticks, and not the salad, since all the salad bars I've had the shuttlebus take them around to, right there in their neighborhood, that's what has them all up in arms.  Or necks. 

What do you way when you have a bunch of angry giraffes, anyway?  People get all up in arms.  I don't know what giraffes get.  All I know is that they're mad at me, still crossing Route 19, still eating Sonic food every day, and let's just say we had a discussion.  It got heated.  Really heated, heated like the oil you'd fry everything on the menu at Sonic in. Some things were said.  Things we all regret.

When the goin' gets tough, Zoe gets tougher! Grr!

And I know better, Big People.  I know that beating your chest and hurling ad hominem or ad Giraffa camelopardalis
 as the case may be, is no way to win an argument.  Not really.  That's bullying.  Think about it.  Would YOU want to do anything with somebody who beat their chest and said rude things to you?  Would having them do that make you more likely to say, "you know, you're right!  I really need to change my ways for my well-being and for that of those around me!"  Of course not! 

So, it's going to be back to the drawing table for me and the Little Giraffes of the Wild Steppes of Wexford.  They know eating so much food from Sonic AND crossing Route 19 are dangerous things for them to do.  They KNOW it, and say they can't help themselves.  And this is a bigger problem than I can handle on my own, so I'm going to have to ask for some help.

It's a funny thing about help, though, isn't it, Friends?  Sometimes, if you're not afraid to open your mind, the very help you knew you needed, but didn't know how to ask for it, it just falls in your lap.  Things fall into place.  One thing I'm certain of.  Stubborn problems call for stubborn problem-solvers, and if anything fits me to a T, it's being a stubborn problem-solver! We're gonna get through this, those Little Giraffes and me!  Rah!

I'll see ya tomorrow, Friends!

I'm Fifteen Months Old!

Time just slipped away from me like crazy!

 Hiya, Friends!  Would you believe on the 9th, I turned Fifteen Months Old?  And yesterday, it marked fifteen months since I came home for the first time and met my pal Rozzie for the first time?  An' I forgot all about both those things!  Wow!

I guess that's what the old people like Mommy mean when they say "time has a way of slipping right past you!"  Time just slipped right past me, the last coupla days! 

Anyway, it's good to be fifteen months old.  I'm allowed to do more stuff.  I've been helping Mommy carry dishes to the sink, when I can.  I like to pretend that the plates are steering wheels and I'm driving a Jeep out to the kitchen.  I know it helps Mommy out a lot, and it makes me feel like a Big Girl, getting to help her like that! 

Sometimes, believe it or not, she lets me put spoons in the slots in the silverware basket in the dishwasher!  Wow!

What can I do to make sure that doesn't happen again?

Also, if you ask me where my nose is, I can show you.  I can do the same with my mouth, my belly, and my foot!  How about that!  I couldn't show you where those things were before, but now I can!

It's a lot of fun, being fifteen months old.  I have a magazine that I subscribe to now.  It's made just for me and has my name on the address label and everything.  Guess how much of a big shot THAT makes me feel like?  I'll give you a clue: it makes me feel like a great big bigshot!  You bet it does!

What I can't believe is that I've known Rozzie for fifteen months.  I think I mean I can't believe it's only been fifteen months.  To me, it feels like I've known Rozzie forever.  And I guess I have.  At least as far as I'm concerned. 

I know!  I'll write on a calendar what I wanna remember!

When I was just a little kid, I remember sitting in my swing, and Rozzie brought her favorite ball over to me to play with.  I was only about two weeks old, so I didn't know what to do with a ball, but I could tell it was something great.  And I also remember lying in my swing, and crying, and Rozzie would come up to me and give me a kiss on the cheek.  She seemed so big!

Now I can play with Rozzie with her favorite ball.  I can give her treats out of the bin.  She still seems so big to me, but she isn't scary at all.  When Rozzie's around, I feel really safe.

I'm glad Rozzie was around for me when I came home from the hospital that first time.  And I'm glad she's around now.  Some mornings, she comes into my room, and she's the first face I see, and when that happens, I know it's gonna be a good day.  Even when she isn't the first face I see, as soon as I see her waiting for me down in the room that's red, I know it's gonna be a great day. 

Me and my Best Friend Rozzie!

I think the point I'm trying to make is that when I came home that first day, I really didn't know how this was going to go.  I'd only ever lived in a hospital... at least those first coupla days.  I'd only ever slept in a plastic wheelie, not in my very own crib.  I didn't know who Rozzie was or how I was supposed to act around her.  But she really has taken me under her paw and made sure I know things.  She lets me share her food- didja know that dogfood tastes GREAT, Big People?  I didn't until Rozzie clued me in.  I love that dog!

So... Fifteen Months.  Wow!  So much has happened since I first got here.  I just can't believe I forgot until today that I've gotten to this milestone!  I'll see ya tomorrow, Friends!

I've Got the Writer's Block Today!

It's heck not to know what to say!

Hiya, Friends!  Well, I'm having a little trouble getting started on what to talk to you about today.  Usually it just pours right outta me, what to talk about with you, but today, I'm all flibbertygibbleted, and nothing's coming to mind.  I don't want to waste your time, but you're here, and I'm here, and I might as well come up with something to say, don't you think?

I've asked Mommy what I should do when I don't know what to write about, and she says I should go do something else, like vacuum the floor or do some dusting or fold some laundry.  I said I was too little to do those things, so here we are.

Personally, between you and me, Friends, I think Mommy's trying to skive off some of her chores onto me.  This thing about doing something else, especially something chorey, is all a myth!

I know! I'll play you 'Kitten on the Keys' on my imaginary piano!

I don't know, though. Maybe she's onto something about doing something else, going in a different direction, if it feels like this road's blocked for today.  For instance, I've just recently taken up playing the Imaginary Piano, and I've found that it really has helped me out of many a jelly of a creative jam, just in this short interval of time!  I get blocked on what I'm supposed to be doing, and I just sit down and play my Imaginary Piano, and everything's all right with the world. 

Plus, it makes me feel good, because I'm really good at playing the Imaginary Piano!  You wouldn't believe it! I never hit the wrong notes, I never play too loudly or too softly- always just at the right volume!  The Imaginary Piano's never out of tune, and I don't have to dust the Imaginary Piano!   It's a pretty great investment!

I bet you could do the same thing with Imaginary Drums or an Imaginary Horn, too!  I plan to pick up both, before too awful long.  Diversify my skills and all.  It's important, in this economy, to be good at a buncha things, don't you think, Big People?

Well, look at that!  I DID find something to talk to you about, after all!  I'm so glad!  And hey, maybe one of these days, we can all get together with our Imaginary Instruments, and whip ourselves up an Imaginary Symphony!  Don't you think that'd be just about the most fun ever? 

I'll see ya tomorrow, Big People!  Hopefully I'll have played my way out of this Writer's Block!  But I always love you!  Muah!