Pie in the Sky!

This is what I usually eat: Strawberry Jell-O!

Oh, my goodness, Friends, guess what?  Yesterday, I went to my doctor for Part Two of my flu shot, and that went how you'd think it would.  I kind of flipped out when the nurse was getting my leg ready for the shot, but the shot was over before I even knew it, and I looked at Mommy like, 'What was that?!'  I was going to hold a grudge against her for putting a stick in my otherwise good day like that, but I decided not to.  I'm really glad I made that decision! 

You know why I'm glad I didn't hold a grudge?  Because Mommy and Gramma took me to my favorite place in the whole wide world: THE TEXAS HOT IN DOWNTOWN WELLSVILLE!!!

Now, normally, when I go to the Texas Hot in Downtown Wellsville, I enjoy a Strawberry Jell-O in a sundae dish, with a generous helping of real whipped cream on top.  That's my usual order, 'the yoozh,' as I like to call it.  So that's what I was expecting to enjoy today, when we sat down in a booth in the Texas Hot. 

This isn't my Jell-O!  Whaaaaaat's this?

Imagine my surprise when, instead of my usual Strawberry Jell-O, a giant piece of Banana Creme Pie was set before me! Holy smokes, Friends!  I couldn't believe my eyes, and at first,  I thought it was a mistake.  I thought my waitress got me all balled up with someone else, at first, but then Mommy said it was for ME!  Can you believe it?  I've been waiting my whole life for a piece of pie at the Texas Hot in Downtown Wellsville, and today, I got one!

This is out of this world!

I bet you're wondering if I thought it was as good as I thought it'd be, and the short answer is yes.  I loved everything about it.  The banana custard, the pieces of real, actual banana.  The mountain of meringue on top.  I even liked the crust, which I'll be honest, caught me a little bit off-guard.  I guess I forgot about pie having crust, because I was so wrapped up in all that meringue-y goodness. 


I had really high expectations for Banana Creme Pie, Friends, and I'm glad it didn't disappoint!  So you know what I think you should do, Big People?  Go and treat yourself to a slice of pie at the Texas Hot in Downtown Wellsville.  It'll make you feel better, Friends!  And always remember!  Zoe loves you!  Muah!

Wearin' My Shades

You can't tell from here, but I flippin' hate these sunglasses in this picture!

Hiya, Friends!  It's me, Zoe!  Well, I never thought it would, but it's happened.  I like wearing my sunglasses!  Almost as much as Mommy likes to wear hers!  My whole entire life, I've felt that my Mommy's sunglass wear has been excessive.  She wears them when she drives.  She wears them when we're walking outside.  She wears them from sunup until it's too dark to wear sunglasses.

But I get it now!  I really do!

A couple days ago, Mommy and I were getting ready to go on a walk to our polling station, and we were standing in the doorway, and the sun was shining through. 

The sun seemed a lot brighter than usual, because here at my house, we've had cloudy weather for over a week, because of that awful storm.  I'd forgotten what the blue sky and sun were like!  And while we were getting ready to go on our walk, that sun was so bright that I couldn't stop squinting my eyes!

I feel ridiculous in this getup.

So Mommy got out my blue sunglasses with the little flowers and the strap that goes around my head to keep them on, and she put them on my head.  Usually at this point, I rip my sunglasses off my face and throw them across the room.  I wouldn't have to fling my sunglasses, of course, but it's a punctuation mark, an exclamation point if you will, on my distaste for my sunglasses.

But guess what.  While Mommy and I stood in the bright sunshine the other day, I was surprised to see just how much those sunglasses help with the bright!  Holy smokes!  I could keep my eyes open wide!  I didn't have to squint!  And they didn't pinch my nose or smoosh my face the way I thought they would!

When we got outside and were walking down the driveway, I couldn't believe how much better I could see, now that I wasn't pinching my eyes shuttish, to keep the sun from being too bright!  I loved it, Friends!  I really did!

I voted for stylish sunglasses for everybody!

It just goes to show, Big People, sometimes when you try something before, and you don't like it, maybe you just have to wait a little while and try it again, and then you'll find out you might like it!  That's how it worked out with me and the sunglasses.  I thought I'd never, EVER like wearing sunglasses, but I've gotta say, I'm glad I tried them again.  I really like wearing sunglasses! 

But just because I've recently extended goodwill toward stylish eyewear like my sunglasses, that doesn't mean I'm going to make my peace with socks, shoes, or hats anytime soon.  I still don't like those things at all.  If you get a chance, could you pass along that message to my Mommy, Friends?  I don't like hats, shoes, or socks, still, but I'm cool with sunglasses.  One accessory at a time.  I'd tell her myself, but she gets all overzealous and keeps trying to put hats, socks, and shoes on me.  Drives me more nutty than a holiday assortment of mixed nuts. ... Um, that wasn't my best comparison, was it?  I'll work on that for tomorrow, Friends.  I promise.  In the meantime, have a good rest of your day, and remember that Zoe loves you!  Muah!

Christmas Card Photoshoots

I don't want to be just some lame kid in an elf suit!

 Friends, Rozzie and I are on a quest for the Perfect Christmas Card picture.  There's a lot of pressure on me this year.  Not from any outside sources, but from right in me.  I'll tell you why.

See, this isn't my first Christmas card picture.  Last year was, and all I had to do was dress up in my red outfit with the hat, and look at the camera, and that was that.  My part in the picture was all done, easy as a lemon squeezy!

Besides, elves wear pointy-toed shoes, and I don't do shoes!

This year, I'm a seasoned Christmas card picture veteran.  Or maybe not.  I'm definitely a seasoned picture-taker veteran.  I've had thousands of pictures taken of me since last year.  And Rozzie's also had lots of pictures taken of her!  So we put our heads together and decided we wanted to do something really cool and creative for our Christmas card pictures this year.

My vote's for silliness.  Silliness all the way, baby!

See, Rozzie and I are partners.  At least for the Christmas card photograph.  She does a lot of behind-the-scenes work for my Daily Zoe show over on Facebook, like making me laugh or asking me questions for my show.  I really like working with Rozzie, but she definitely calls the shots at picture-time, if you know what I mean.

The Basket Picture from Easter.

Oh, you don't?  Well, I'll tell you.  For instance, if Mommy has the backdrop up, and Rozzie wants to sit all skee-hawed on the backdrop, so you see half backdrop and half stuff behind the backdrop that Mommy was trying to hide with the backdrop, well, that's just how it's going to be.  Half-backdrop, half-stuff-behind-the-backdrop.  If Rozzie wants to roll over or not look at the camera, that's how the pictures are going to be.  When I work with Rozzie, I have to bring my A-game.

 Of course, Rozzie's always looking out for me.  See, at Eastertime, there was a picture of me in a basket.  Rozzie was supposed to be in the picture, too, but she took one look at that basket and said she was not going to be in a picture with a baby in a basket.  Now, I did take umbrage with being called a baby, but I also thought it was a little weird for me to be in the basket, too.  I mean, I don't usually go around in a basket!  Who DOES stuff like that?

I've got to learn how to show my teeth like that and get results!

So do you know what Rozzie said?  She showed her teeth and said "NOBODY PUTS BABY IN A BASKET!" and you know what?  The next picture, I didn't have to sit in the basket.  Boy, I love that Rozzie!  She's the best!

Silly flower aside, at least I'm not in a basket for this one!

She also taught me how to resist wearing headbands, so luckily, so far, with the Christmas pictures, I haven't been forced to wear headwear.  It hasn't even been presented to me.  Rozzie's told me all about the year Mommy made her dress up like a pumpkin, complete with a hat that looked like the cap of a pumpkin, and she said it hurt her dignity as a dignified member of the community, and I believe her.  Wearing hats that make you look like a pumpkin can do that to your dignity.

So that's us for this little stretch of time.  Me and my best friend, just trying to figure out our Christmas card photos.  We want to do something epic, something that really showcases our personalities.  But we also want to work together, because Christmas card photos are more fun when you get to work with a friend.

We have our work cut out for us, Friends.  We sure do.  Even in the midst of all this work, though, remember that Zoe loves you!  Muah!

It's Election Day!

Stop everything and get to your polling place!

 Hiya, Friends and Big People!  Zoe here, and it's a big day.  It's Election Day.  It's a big Election Day, because it's a year divisible by four, and we have to pick a new President.  And by "we," I mean "you," Big People, because I'm not old enough to vote yet.

Now, I don't know much about politics, and I'm not here to try to get you to vote one way or the other.  That's nobody's business but yours.  What I am here to say today is that if you're old enough to vote, and you're registered to vote, and you aren't hooked up to a life support system, you need to get yourself to your voting booth, Friends.  This is serious stuff.

My voting place is in this direction!

I've been reading a lot about the history of our nation, about the patriots who died for the right to vote for the people who'd represent them.  I've read that there was a time in this country when people weren't allowed to vote, because of the color of their skin, and they risked their lives to be able to vote.  I've read that women weren't able to vote, and they had to fight for the right.  So many people have had to fight to have their voices heard! 

It's crazy for me to think about all that, because for my whole life, most Big People are allowed to vote.  I just can't imagine not voting, if you're allowed to.  I cannot wait to be old enough to vote.  It's not that I feel like I don't have it pretty good the way things are, but voting gives you a voice in how things are run around here.  Goodness, I'd like to have a voice in what I get to have for lunch everyday.

Big People: Don't mess this up!  Go vote!

So if you're thinking about not voting today, even though you're allowed to vote, Big People, I urge you to change your mind.  Your vote DOES matter.  You DO have the power to change things.  It IS important to vote.  If they could come forward in time and talk to us today, all those people who had to fight for their right to vote, they'd tell you to get to your polling station and cast your vote.  They wouldn't think of sitting it out.

And one last thought, Big People, from me, Zoe, on behalf of all the little kids just like me.  Definitely vote  today, Friends.  Don't mess this up.  This is our world you're keeping warm for us.  Someday, my people are going to be in charge, so we're hoping that you leave the world a little better for us than you found it. 

No matter HOW you vote, Friends, remember, Zoe loves you!  Muah!

An After-Halloween Surprise!

This is my face when Gramma brings me animal crackers!

Hiya, Friends!  Zoe here!  Well, just when I thought it couldn't get any better, what with trick-or-treating on Halloween on Wednesday night, and then getting to eat my Halloween cupcake for dessert on Thursday night, guess what happened yesterday! Guess!

My Gramma stopped by and brought me a Halloween card, and an orange teddy bear with a witch hat, and that's not even the best part.  She also brought me some animal crackers.  Oh, wow.

You know what.  I love animal crackers.  The best ones, of course, are the ones shaped like little giraffes.  At first, I felt awkward about eating the little giraffe-shaped animal crackers, but I asked my Little Giraffe friends about it, and they said I shouldn't feel at all awkward for eating the giraffe-shaped ones, because they're just cookies!  So there we have it!  It's okay to eat the giraffe-shaped animal crackers!

You'd think that I'd go all monster on a bag of animal crackers, but I don't.  I can make a bag of animal crackers last for days, especially when the bag has a zippy top.  Boy, I like those zippy tops.  I can have Mommy give me two or three animal crackers at a time, and the bag gets all closed up with the zippy top, and the next animal crackers I eat, they're as crispy as the first ones I ate out of the bag.  How about that?!

We sure live in some pretty spectacular times, Big People, do you know that?  Bags with zippy tops, little cookies in the shapes of animals, little devices that bring us the voices of people that are far away... spectacular times!

Well, Friends!  All this talk about animal crackers is making me a little hungry, so I'm going to go see if I can get Mommy to open that zippy-topped bag and give me some of my animal crackers.  I hope you have a good day and get to enjoy something that you really like today!  Remember that Zoe loves you!  Muah!

My Favorite Word!

"Shan-duh-LEEEEEEEEEER!"

Hiya, Friends!  Do you have a favorite word?  I do!  It's a word that makes me smile every time I hear it.  It makes me laugh.  Do you want to know what it is?  It's "Chandelier!"  That's my favorite word!

You have to say it just right.  Just saying "chandelier" all normal and boring doesn't make me giggle at all.  But if you say it like this, "shan-duh-LEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRR!" It gets me every time!  It's a fun-sounding word!  Try it, Friends!  Shout out "shan-duh-LEEEEEEEEEEEEER!" and just see if you can do it without giggling!

It's one of those words that if you don't know what it means, you might have something pictured in your head that's completely different from what the word really is.  For instance, before I knew what a chandelier was, I had it pictured in my head as a dance, where the fellow wears a shirt with colorful-tiered sleeves, and the lady wears a fancy dress with puffy short sleeves and a long colorful tiered skirt, and they jump and maybe play castanets.  Maybe do some swordplay.  Although I could never figure out how they'd do with the swords, with all those colorful tiers on their sleeves or on their skirt.  Swords and all that material don't seem to mix, at least not in my head.

That's all neither here nor there, though Big People.  I found out that I think what I was thinking of were "flamenco dancers," whenever I heard the word "chandelier."  I still don't know where the swords came from... Oh, yes, I do!  I was also thinking of the Three Musketeers!  They had swords, didn't they?  So in my head, chandeliers were flamenco-dancing musketeers that could either be men or women.  One thing I've never understood in my whole life is why do the fairy tale princesses always wait for some prince with a sword to come rescue them?  Why don't those princesses just pick up a sword of their own, or a stick, or a cattle prod, and rescue themselves? 

I love to look at chandeliers!  They're pretty!

That's the kind of princess I want to be!  The kind of princess who just rescues herself, darn it!  Don't expect to see me standing around, wringing my hands, and wondering if my prince is going to come save me!

Did I just drive us down a side street?  I think I did.  I get all wound up, and forget what topic I'm supposed to be staying on. 

Sword-fighting dancers and self-rescuing princesses aside, I was relieved to find out that chandeliers are really lights that hang from a ceiling.  And in the downstairs of my house, we have three of them that I love to look at!  One of them is right over the couch in the living room.  It's made of brass, but not shiny brass.  Old-looking brass.  And it has twelve lights on it, with lightbulbs that look like candle-flames. How about that?!  And the one over the dining room table that I look at while I sit in my high chair and eat is a lot like the one in the living room.  They both have pretty crystals on them, that I imagine wearing like earrings, but they look so nice on the chandeliers that I probably will let those crystals stay on the chandeliers, and then I'll find other sparklies to wear as earrings, when I'm old enough to wear earrings.  Then the other chandelier is in the front hallway, and I can see it from my high chair, and also from my office.  It's made out of crystals, but is in the shape of an egg, so we call it the "egg lamp," even though I think it's my favorite chandelier in the house.  My favorite is when my office is dark, and the egg lamp is lit up.  It's almost as good as a disco ball, but not quite. 

So there you have it, Friends!  My favorite word in the whole English language, so far.  Chandelier. 

Halloween Retrospective!

Hiya, Friends!  Zoe here.  It's still Halloween night as I write this, and I've just returned from my mission of plunder.  Daddy took me trick-or-treating!  I came home with a cupcake!  Wow!  AND Mommy had only five trick-or-treaters at our house, and she has a buncha mini Smiley Cookies left, so I'm thinking this was a victory for your pal Zoe!

Anyway, I bet you're wondering if I have pictures.  Do I have pictures?  Yes, of course, I have pictures!  Now, I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to share with you my pictures that I submitted for my Special Halloween Report on Facebook.  It's sort of double-dipping, but I don't do this very often.  Plus, they were really fun pictures, and I want my friends who aren't on Facebook to see my special report.  Here goes:

Rozzie and I quibbling over semantics.

 Rozzie and I saw a movie the other day, with the grumpy old men that forgot about Halloween and gave out laundry detergent and staplers instead of candy. I asked Rozzie if she thought that if anybody gives me detergent and a stapler for Halloween, if I give Mommy the detergent, did she think Mommy would let me keep the stapler? I really want a stapler. Rozzie said the chances of someone giving me detergent and staplers are slim, and that there's a fat chance Mommy'd let me keep any of it? There we go again with fat chances and slim chances, and none of it makes sense to me!

I've wondered my whole life why when Big People think something is unlikely, they say "fat chance" or "the chances are slim."  Those things mean the same thing, but fat and slim don't mean the same thing!  It's confounding!  If anybody has any insight into this, I'd like to hear it, for sure!  

Anyway, moving on.
  

So this pig rides into a bar on a pony....

I thought I'd ride Patches around to go Trick-or-Treating, but as it turns out, Patches said it's too cold and rainy out there for me to ride him tonight. Plus, he's pretty sure there must be an un-funny joke about a pig riding a pony into a bar. I don't know, Big People. Is all this Halloween hype empty? I mean, if it were as great as I've built it up in my head to be, Patches here ought to be chomping at the bit to go trick-or-treating with me, rainy cold drizzle or no!  If trick-or-treating were as great as I think it's cracked up to be, Patches would have put his winter saddle on, and his snowshoes, and just cowboyed up for the opportunity to go trick-or-treating.  

With as much as I've looked forward to this my whole life, all I can think now is what a disappointment it'll be if it's just not all that much fun.

 

Oh, dear.  Does my tail make my butt look big?

What's this on the floor? It looks fascinating! It's a fly-swatter! Seems insanely useful to have, a fly-swatter! Maybe I'll get a coupla fly-swatters in my trick-or-treat bag! Hold on. Do I even have a trick-or-treat bag?!

There's some gold in this house, and by gold, I mean there's Sharpies!

Who cares about the trick-or-treat bag? I've found me a Sharpie! This is the ultimate find for Halloween! Friends, this is one of the cool Sharpies that clicks like a regular pen, BUT IT'S A SHARPIE! Wheeeeeeee!

I think Mommy just didn't bother with a costume, and she's blowing fairy dust up my butt with this Donna Quixote thing!

This is me and Mommy. She says her costume's a suit of armor, and a big sword and a lance, and that she's Donna Quixote and I'm Sancho Piglet and we're going to go tilt at windmills! I have no idea what she's talking about, but she says when I read the book, I'll think this is hilarious someday!

My parents are the laziest Halloweenies in the history of forever!

 So I guess it's pretty cold outside. Daddy's taking me trick-or-treating. Isn't he supposed to dress up, too? What's he being for Halloween? He can't steal Mommy's Donna Quixote idea, so maybe he's going as a college kid? I don't know. All's I care about is my laundry detergent and stapler! Let's roll, Daddy!

Where's my Sharpie?  All my cool treasures disappear!

 
Wait, wait! I'm not ready yet. I forgot my Sharpie. What's that, Rozzie? ... Well, I need to take my Sharpie along, trick-or-treating, in case anybody wants me to draw a smiley-face on the back of their hand, of course! ... Why would I draw smiley-faces on people's hands? To remind them that Mommy has Smiley Cookies she's giving out! Do I have to think of EVERYTHING AROUND HERE? Hey, where'd my Sharpie go?

 Well, Friends, I'm off for my first Trick-or-Treat experience with Daddy. He claims I'm just going to spread Halloween cheer, but I'm really hoping for laundry detergent and a stapler. I'm going to offer my laundry detergent to Mommy in hopes that she'll let me keep the stapler. I've wanted a stapler for a while now, and haven't been successful in my requests. Also, if you see my Sharpie tonight, please let me know where it is, but don't tell Mommy I have it, mmmmmmmkay, friends? Even though she's dressed up as a knight with invisible armor, she's still my buzz-killy Mommy. ... Oh, and HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

I'm beginning to think Mommy doesn't want me to have cool things like Sharpies and staplers. 

 The pictures were taken before I left.  But now that I'm home, I can report that Patches the Pony missed out.  Trick-or-treating is great!  I mentioned my cupcake.  I love cake!  And Daddy got some candy.  I mostly did just spread Halloween cheer.  That's kind of my thing that I do.  Not always the Halloween part.  I like to make people happy.  But I didn't get any detergent, and I didn't get any stapler.  And my Sharpie still hasn't turned up.  

Friends, do you know if there's anything I could purchase and stick to my treasures I find, so if I clap my hands, my treasures could whistle or something to let me know where they are?  If you know of anything, I'd really appreciate your sharing your knowledge with me.  I find all these cool treasures, and then Rozzie rats me out to Mommy, or I get really excited about my treasures I find, and I show Mommy, and next thing I know, I can't find my treasures anymore.  That Mommy!

But I was really happy with the results of my plunder tonight.  I mean trick-or-treating.  It was definitely worth the wait, and it was worth letting Mommy make me take a nap this afternoon.  Don't tell her, but if it weren't for that nap, I wouldn't have made it!  I know I wouldn't have!

Mmmmmmkay, Friends!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  I hope you enjoyed my Halloween Special Report!  Remember, whether or not you give me detergent and a stapler or a disco ball, Zoe loves you!  Muah!