Halloween Retrospective!

Hiya, Friends!  Zoe here.  It's still Halloween night as I write this, and I've just returned from my mission of plunder.  Daddy took me trick-or-treating!  I came home with a cupcake!  Wow!  AND Mommy had only five trick-or-treaters at our house, and she has a buncha mini Smiley Cookies left, so I'm thinking this was a victory for your pal Zoe!

Anyway, I bet you're wondering if I have pictures.  Do I have pictures?  Yes, of course, I have pictures!  Now, I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to share with you my pictures that I submitted for my Special Halloween Report on Facebook.  It's sort of double-dipping, but I don't do this very often.  Plus, they were really fun pictures, and I want my friends who aren't on Facebook to see my special report.  Here goes:

Rozzie and I quibbling over semantics.

 Rozzie and I saw a movie the other day, with the grumpy old men that forgot about Halloween and gave out laundry detergent and staplers instead of candy. I asked Rozzie if she thought that if anybody gives me detergent and a stapler for Halloween, if I give Mommy the detergent, did she think Mommy would let me keep the stapler? I really want a stapler. Rozzie said the chances of someone giving me detergent and staplers are slim, and that there's a fat chance Mommy'd let me keep any of it? There we go again with fat chances and slim chances, and none of it makes sense to me!

I've wondered my whole life why when Big People think something is unlikely, they say "fat chance" or "the chances are slim."  Those things mean the same thing, but fat and slim don't mean the same thing!  It's confounding!  If anybody has any insight into this, I'd like to hear it, for sure!  

Anyway, moving on.
  

So this pig rides into a bar on a pony....

I thought I'd ride Patches around to go Trick-or-Treating, but as it turns out, Patches said it's too cold and rainy out there for me to ride him tonight. Plus, he's pretty sure there must be an un-funny joke about a pig riding a pony into a bar. I don't know, Big People. Is all this Halloween hype empty? I mean, if it were as great as I've built it up in my head to be, Patches here ought to be chomping at the bit to go trick-or-treating with me, rainy cold drizzle or no!  If trick-or-treating were as great as I think it's cracked up to be, Patches would have put his winter saddle on, and his snowshoes, and just cowboyed up for the opportunity to go trick-or-treating.  

With as much as I've looked forward to this my whole life, all I can think now is what a disappointment it'll be if it's just not all that much fun.

 

Oh, dear.  Does my tail make my butt look big?

What's this on the floor? It looks fascinating! It's a fly-swatter! Seems insanely useful to have, a fly-swatter! Maybe I'll get a coupla fly-swatters in my trick-or-treat bag! Hold on. Do I even have a trick-or-treat bag?!

There's some gold in this house, and by gold, I mean there's Sharpies!

Who cares about the trick-or-treat bag? I've found me a Sharpie! This is the ultimate find for Halloween! Friends, this is one of the cool Sharpies that clicks like a regular pen, BUT IT'S A SHARPIE! Wheeeeeeee!

I think Mommy just didn't bother with a costume, and she's blowing fairy dust up my butt with this Donna Quixote thing!

This is me and Mommy. She says her costume's a suit of armor, and a big sword and a lance, and that she's Donna Quixote and I'm Sancho Piglet and we're going to go tilt at windmills! I have no idea what she's talking about, but she says when I read the book, I'll think this is hilarious someday!

My parents are the laziest Halloweenies in the history of forever!

 So I guess it's pretty cold outside. Daddy's taking me trick-or-treating. Isn't he supposed to dress up, too? What's he being for Halloween? He can't steal Mommy's Donna Quixote idea, so maybe he's going as a college kid? I don't know. All's I care about is my laundry detergent and stapler! Let's roll, Daddy!

Where's my Sharpie?  All my cool treasures disappear!

 
Wait, wait! I'm not ready yet. I forgot my Sharpie. What's that, Rozzie? ... Well, I need to take my Sharpie along, trick-or-treating, in case anybody wants me to draw a smiley-face on the back of their hand, of course! ... Why would I draw smiley-faces on people's hands? To remind them that Mommy has Smiley Cookies she's giving out! Do I have to think of EVERYTHING AROUND HERE? Hey, where'd my Sharpie go?

 Well, Friends, I'm off for my first Trick-or-Treat experience with Daddy. He claims I'm just going to spread Halloween cheer, but I'm really hoping for laundry detergent and a stapler. I'm going to offer my laundry detergent to Mommy in hopes that she'll let me keep the stapler. I've wanted a stapler for a while now, and haven't been successful in my requests. Also, if you see my Sharpie tonight, please let me know where it is, but don't tell Mommy I have it, mmmmmmmkay, friends? Even though she's dressed up as a knight with invisible armor, she's still my buzz-killy Mommy. ... Oh, and HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

I'm beginning to think Mommy doesn't want me to have cool things like Sharpies and staplers. 

 The pictures were taken before I left.  But now that I'm home, I can report that Patches the Pony missed out.  Trick-or-treating is great!  I mentioned my cupcake.  I love cake!  And Daddy got some candy.  I mostly did just spread Halloween cheer.  That's kind of my thing that I do.  Not always the Halloween part.  I like to make people happy.  But I didn't get any detergent, and I didn't get any stapler.  And my Sharpie still hasn't turned up.  

Friends, do you know if there's anything I could purchase and stick to my treasures I find, so if I clap my hands, my treasures could whistle or something to let me know where they are?  If you know of anything, I'd really appreciate your sharing your knowledge with me.  I find all these cool treasures, and then Rozzie rats me out to Mommy, or I get really excited about my treasures I find, and I show Mommy, and next thing I know, I can't find my treasures anymore.  That Mommy!

But I was really happy with the results of my plunder tonight.  I mean trick-or-treating.  It was definitely worth the wait, and it was worth letting Mommy make me take a nap this afternoon.  Don't tell her, but if it weren't for that nap, I wouldn't have made it!  I know I wouldn't have!

Mmmmmmkay, Friends!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  I hope you enjoyed my Halloween Special Report!  Remember, whether or not you give me detergent and a stapler or a disco ball, Zoe loves you!  Muah!