...An' I Got A DISCO BALL Out of the Deal!

Oh, my goodness, what is this?

Hiya, Friends!  As you may or may not know, I recently spent some time in Wexford, visiting my Aunt Colleen.  Some big things happened while I was there! 

What's the big deal, you ask?  Well, I'll tell ya!

First, I turned Twenty-One Months Old on Sunday.  That was a big deal, because people make a big deal about turning Twenty-One Years Old, and I decided Twenty-One Months ought to be a big deal, too!  That's what!

Second, I got to eat ice cream all the nights I was there, and that was two!  Two nights in a row of eating ice cream.  I went to Handel's one night and had chocolate ice cream.  The next night, I went to Bruster's and had Purple Dinosaur ice cream!  It was great!

This is for ME?!  Do I get to keep it?

Third, I got to eat at Eat-N-Park twice!  I got TWO Smiley Cookies, which I LOVE, and I got TWO Eat-N-Park kid cups with pictures of Smiley all over them, which I LOVE!  It's pretty hard for Eat-N-Park to do wrong by me, Friends.

Fourth, I had a really productive meeting with my Little Giraffe friend, Wellington.  I think those Little Giraffes are FINALLY starting to come around to not crossing that busy Route 19 to get to the Sonic.  I worry about those guys!

Fifth!  Now this is BIG, Friends!  I got a DISCO BALL!!!  It isn't a mirror ball, but it's still PRETTY DARNED COOL!

I saw it at Lowe's, in the lighting department.  I took Mommy, Gramma, Aunt Colleen, and Uncle Lorentz to Lowe's to show them my favorite department, the lighting department, and we were driving by a display of table-lamps, and there it was: a glorious, spinning, multicolored magical orb.  I really wanted one, but Mommy kept driving.

Boy, was I disappointed!

Owning a disco ball is pretty fun, Friends!

But you know how I do, Friends.  You know how I roll.  I rise above.  I try to rise above.  So as Mommy was getting ready to check out with the boring doorbell she bought, and the boring under-cabinet lights (actually those under-cabinet lights are pretty neat!  I've been playing with 'em, and they're really fun!), Uncle Lorentz asked me if I wanted to wait outside.  I said, 'Yeah!' and he let me sit on some lawn tractors!

I thought that, and the ice cream, was the pinnacle of awesomeness for the night, so when we got back to the house, and suddenly the very Disco Ball Light I wanted at the store turned up, I was so excited, I couldn't even speak.  I thought it was a joke.  I mean, I've wanted a disco ball for my whole entire life!

Well, now I have a disco ball of my very own.  And I love it!

If Nora the Giraffe Jumped Off A Bridge...

Nora's wearin' a bow, so I can too!

Hiya, Friends!  Well, it's happened.  I'm wearin' a hair ornament, and not throwin' a fit about it.  Today.  It doesn't mean I'm fickle in my feelings for hair ornaments.  It just means that I'm picking and choosing when I clip one in. 

You see, my Aunt Colleen got me a T-shirt with a picture of my friend Nora the Giraffe on it.  You know how much I love that Nora.  She's such an inspiration.  And she's so, so sweet.  I just love Nora!  Well, on this T-shirt with her picture on it, she's wearin' a bright neon yellow flower!  I think she looks great!

It got me thinking.  If Nora looks so nice with a hair ornament, maybe I would, too.  So this morning, I asked Mommy for a bow, and she put one in my hair that's the same color as Nora's flower!

You know, I didn't like to wear hats, and then I saw Nora at the mall, and she was wearing a floppy hat, and I thought she looked nice, so I tried wearing a hat out in the sun, and you know what?  I love hats now!

I understand how this all could beg the question "If Nora the Giraffe jumped off a bridge, would you jump too?"  And I hafta assure you that it isn't like that at all.  I don't copy-cat EVERYTHING Nora does.  I just admire her, that's all!

Bows aren't all bad, I think!

How it works is I see her wearing something like a hat or a hair bow, you know, things I've been known to resist.  And she's getting along just fine with whatever it is, and I see that Nora can get on great with a hair-bow, or a hat, and it inspires me to try a hat or a bow, and then I find out it isn't so bad!  That's not copy-catting.  Not really.  I don't think it is, anyway.  There's a difference between being inspired by someone and copy-catting them.  At least that's what I think.

But to answer the question at hand that wasn't actually asked, but I know you're thinking it, I'd hafta say if Nora jumped off a bridge, would I?  No.  Certainly not.  Why is Nora jumping off the bridge?  Is it a high bridge?  Maybe there's a fire on the bridge, and the only way to save yourself is to jump off it.  If that's the case, then I certainly would jump off the bridge!  Yes I would!

But not because Nora jumped off the bridge.  I'd jump because it's a good idea in that instance.  Know when to lead and when to follow.  That's what I say!  I love ya, Big People!  Muah!

Home Again, Home Again

Boy, it's the dickens to come back home after a fun trip!

Hiya, Friends!  Well, if I didn't spend the last coupla days in dang ol' Pittsburgh.  I had a blast! 

I got to do lotsa fun things while I was at Aunt Colleen and Uncle Lorentz's!  I got to eat ice cream every night, and stay up really late, and play and play and play!

I couldn't help noticing that everything's better at Aunt Colleen's house!

Well, maybe more fun.  I mean, I don't dislike my house or where I live.  I have my neat kitchen set at my house to play with, and my best friend Rozzie, of course.  She doesn't go to Pittsburgh.  I like the way my house sits up on top of the hill, like a big yellow flower on a grassy hill.  I like my room, and my office.

Wonder how I could build me a teleporter!

But Aunt Colleen and Uncle Lorentz aren't at my house, unless it's a special occasion.  Gramma's not at my house, unless it's a special occasion.  At Aunt Colleen's, everybody's right there.  I love everybody being right there!

It makes it hard for me to decide where I wanna be.  I mean, my house is my house and I love it.  I've lived there ever since I was born.  But at Aunt Colleen's house, it's more fun, and I love it. 

I guess what I'd really like is to see Aunt Colleen more often, and get to go to her house more often, but Pittsburgh is four hours away.

Maybe what I'm really asking for is a teleporter. You know why that'd be great, Friends?  I could just decide  I wanna see somebody or go somewhere, and BAP! I'd be there!  None of this business of riding in the Jeep for four hours! 

Friends, do any of you know how to get a teleporter?  Maybe on Pinterest, there's instructions on how to build one using tinfoil, paper-towel rolls, and baking soda and vinegar.  Could somebody look that up for me?  That would just be amazing, if I could get a fast way to see Aunt Colleen and Uncle Lorentz.  Maybe I'd better get to lookin' on Pinterest for how to build a teleporter using regular household products. 

You know, I think I will!  Having a project makes the time go by fast, and makes me feel like I have a purpose!

So with that in mind, Friends, I'd better get crackalackin'!  That teleporter isn't gonna build itself and pin pictures of the project to the Pinterest board by itself!  So I'd better get goin', Friends!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  Muah!

It's Daylight, and I Don't Wanna Go To Bed!

Summertime's brought me a problem.

Friends, don't get me wrong.  I'm not complainin'.  I love summertime.  I really do.  But with summertime, I've found a whole new nest of troubles.

You see, Mommy thinks I ought to go to bed while it's still daylight out!  That just isn't right!  In the wintertime and the fall, and most of the springtime, I go to bed peacefully, because it gets dark pretty early, but here in the summertime, Mommy claims that she's trying to send me to bed at the same time she did during those other seasons, but I don't believe her.

For me, I go by where the sun is in the sky, not by what the clock says, and as long as I can see the light outside my window, it's not bedtime, it's an unsanctioned Second Nap of the Day, Only It's Later Than The First Nap I Took and Didn't Wanna.  That's a mouthful to say! 

Think about it, Friends!  Would YOU wanna be sent to bed while there's still light outside your window?  Something tells me "no."

It's still light out, and I'm not tired!

Now, with the Nap Truce of February 2013, I agreed to peacefully go for my nap most days.  One nap.  I consider a nap to be any sleeping done while it's light outside.  I don't care if the clock says it's 8:00 or 8:30 PM.  If it's still daylight outside, it's considered another nap and therefore out of the reach of the Nap Truce of February 2013.

Does that make sense, Big People?  See why I get all bent outta shape?

Now, one night last week, Daddy didn't get home from the dentist's office until 10:30, and Mommy let me stay up almost until he came home.  It was dark outside by then, and I DID feel tired.  But you know what?  I slept right through the night and got up at my usual time, not any worse for wear for having stayed up.  Proved that know-it-all Mommy wrong!  Yes I did!

So sending me to bed while it's still light out is unnecessary.

If I act nonchalant, they won't notice I'm a kid.

 What I'm trying to do is prove to Mommy that it's unconstitutional to send me to bed before it gets dark out.  By doing so, she's interfering with my "pursuit of happiness."  I might be little, but I'm still a United States Citizen, and I demand my rights to be respected!

Friends, do you think that if I obtained a copy of the Constitution of the United States of America and showed it to her and said "The Power of the Constitution of the United States Compels You!" do you think she'd realize the error of her ways and let me stay up until it gets dark, here in the summertime? 

I guess if it doesn't work, though, I can take a coupla books to bed and read by the light that's still coming in through my window.  I'm always telling people to make the best of things, and I guess maybe I'd better take a look at my circumstances and make the best of them, too.  It's only fair.  Gotta walk the walk as well as talk the talk.

Well, Big People, I'll figure this out, either a way to end the nonsense of making me go to bed before it's dark out, or a way to make the best of it. 

In the meantime, I love ya!  Muah!

Now I Know What a Hand-Truck Is

So where's the hand truck I put this device in?

Hiya, Friends!  Well, as you know, the other day was National Donut Day, and it was my job to go to the Donut Shop to fetch the donuts for the conference room so my coworkers and I could celebrate the holiday right! 

I was all excited that this was my job to do on National Donut Day, because it meant I got to drive a hand truck!  In my head, I had visions of a glorious, big, shiny red pickup truck with big black wheels, and a chrome grille and bumpers, and a quad-cab, but I would have been equally as thrilled with a regular cab, and a steering wheel and a Hemi under the hood.

Well, I guess you know that's not exactly how things went when I went to sign out the hand truck.  I was looking for my nice, shiny ride all over the place, and the fella at the desk pointed to this funny, flat device and said there it is.

There what is?

Oh.  This IS the hand truck.

The hand truck I was s'posed to be taking to the donut shop.  The funny, flat device folded out to a platform on the front, and wheels on the back, and it's meant to be pushed or pulled while rolling the load you need to move, and by the looks of it, it wasn't even a heavy-duty hand truck at that.

I know I was just going to the donut shop to pick up the donuts for me and my coworkers, but I was expecting something just... more than the "Magna Cart."

Oh, cheese us hates rice, NOW I get what they did with that hand truck's name.  "Magna Cart."  Ha.  It's a humorous play on "Magna Carta," the document signed into law in 1215 by King John of England that guaranteed rights to Englishmen and stopped the King from being able to do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted, mostly.

Before you start thinkin' King John was all good, the people forced him to sign the Magna Carta.  If he didn't, they threatened to make him listen to Nikki Minaj over and over again.  Or whoever the Thirteenth Century version of Nikki Minaj happened to be.

Back to my hand truck issue.  Real funny, Magna Cart people.  Real funny!

I'm guessin' it doesn't have a Hemi.

Anyway, the fella at the desk asked me what I expected, being a baby and all, and not having a license.  Yeah, I corrected him and said I'm a toddler, which isn't a baby anymore at all, and he said whatever, I still didn't have a driver's license.

Well, here's what I expected.  I expected that I'd just sign a driver's license out while I signed the truck out, and then turn both things in at the desk again at the end of my errand.  Apparently that just doesn't work. 

I liked the idea.

I didn't need a license to drive the hand truck, and it worked pretty well for me and Sabretooth when we went to the Donut Shop.  Our friend Donut Dude was there, and he stacked our boxes 'n' boxes of donuts on the hand truck, and we wheeled them back to the office, and put 'em in the conference room.

All things considered, it was a good National Donut Day for us, but boy, I'm still kinda sniffy about the Hand Truck Incident!

When Life Gives Ya Leaks...

Friends, I might as well accept it. I sprung a leak today.

Hiya, Friends!  Well, the other day, something unfortunate happened.  Now, I could be all self-conscious about it and embarrassed, or I can just accept it for what it is, learn from it, and move on.  See, what happened is this: I was riding in the car, in my carseat, and had a Pampers malfunction.  Not a gross one.  A watery malfunction.  You could call it a 'leak.'  It was like a water balloon popped. 

Now, it was raining mostly the other day, so probably nobody woulda noticed, but Mommy said she wasn't going to have me going around, soaking wet, so she stopped into Target and bought me a new outfit.

I'm kind of glad she did, because it WAS uncomfortable, going around in a wet dress, and besides, my new outfit's pretty cute!  See the pictures of me? 

Got my very first denim jacket, and a little romper that makes me feel like a supermodel in it!  The BabyLegs were the ones I left the house in, and the same socks and shoes, of course.  That's what made the leak I sprung so weird, that my top and dress got all wet, but my BabyLegs stayed bone-dry, but I assign responsibility for that to my carseat.

Thank goodness for my Piddle Pad.  It made an otherwise dramatic situation a little bit less dramatic.  And like I said, I betchya everybody's been in that situation once or twice or a few times in their lives.  Nothing to get all embarrassed about.  Nothing I could do about it, and Target was right there for me to get a new outfit from, and we're all as good as new.

I bet it happens to everybody, sometimes!

It just got me thinking about all the other times when things seem like they've gone wrong, but they're not really all that bad.  Like a coupla weeks ago, when the electricity went out for hours.  It was out, and out, and out, and suppertime came, so Mommy and Daddy took me to the Texas Hot in Downtown Wellsville, and I found out I like sauerkraut!

I suppose that might be a bad example, because what if the electricity went out, and you didn't have a place like Downtown Wellsville close by, that still had electricity.  Then the power going off would be an awful thing.

Or, I guess, if I'd sprung a leak, and we hadn't have been right next door to the Target, or another store where there are cute clothes for kids of my size.  Then I guess I woulda had to stay in my wet clothes, or hope Mommy remembered to pack me a back-up outfit. 

Darn it. 

Well, here it goes again, Big People.  I was gonna say 'When life gives ya leaks, ya get new clothes!' but now that I've thought it through, I guess I ought to amend it to 'When life gives ya leaks, and your Mommy didn't pack you a back-up outfit, and you happen to be right near a store that sells clothes in your size, then ya get new clothes!'

At least there was a Target nearby!

That just isn't as snappy as my initial crack at truism-coining.  And I probably can't, in all good conscience, call the first one a 'truism' if it isn't all the way true, can I?  Sheesh.

Well, Friends, that's a bummer.  I'm going to think about how lucky I am that it worked out for me that I sprung a leak right by a Target store, and that they had new clothes in my size.  What I probably ought to do now is set aside an outfit for Mommy to keep in the car for me, in case this ever happens again to me.  That's probably the responsible thing to do.

Maybe my truism I'm gonna quote today is this: "Real smart people make their own luck [and pack an extra outfit or two!]"  Yeah, that's the route I'm gonna go.  All right Big People!  I love ya!  Muah!

A Catchy-Can Kinda Day!

Hi, Cruise-boat Friends! It's your greeter, ME, ZOE!

Hiya, Big People!  I know I've talked about Catchy-Can over on the Facebook before, but I can't remember if I've mentioned it here on my blog.  What it is, anyway, is a day that reminds me of the weather in Ketchikan, Alaska, or as I say it, Catchy-Can! 

I've never been to Catchy-Can or Alaska in person, but my family has, and I also read all about it on the Internet, and the weather in the summertime in Catchy-Can, Alaska is cool, and cloudy, and misty, which is just the kind of weather we've been having around my place the last few days.  If you live near me, you probably know just what I'm talking about!  If not, and you live in another kind of climate, won't you leave a comment and tell me what the weather's like where you live?

Or.  If you're reading this and you're actually FROM Catchy-Can or somewhere in Alaska, that would be just the coolest thing ever if you dropped your pal Zoe a line and gave everybody a real-time report on the weather in your area right now! 

When it's chilly and misty, you gotta dance!

Weather just fascinates me!

So anyway, about our Catchy-Can weather.  I really don't mind it, as long as I didn't plan on going out in my Mushroom Pool the days it's like Catchy-Can outside.  I pretend that I'm in Alaska, and that I'm greeting the cruise ships that stop in Catchy-Can to let the people off the boats to buy stuff and then go to the next port on the cruise.

I don't pretend that I'm ON one of the cruise-ships, because I think after a while, stopping at all the ports and buying things would start to add up, and I'd run out of my imaginary money.  And also, my imaginary stateroom would be all filled up with souvenirs and stuff.  So it's better that I pretend I greet the people coming off the imaginary cruise ships.

I pretend that the road outside my house is where the cruise ships pull up, and that the cars going by are cruise ships.  I wave to them.  On a rainy day when traffic's slow, I just pretend that the township building is a big ship, and that all the people on board are off on excursions.  It takes imagining in the summertime, but the hill outside my house can be a glacier that people go to! 

And don't forget to buy stuff!

What I really wish that wasn't just my imagination is the food.  I hear cruise ship food is just wonderful, and I hear that the restaurants in the towns where the cruise-ships stop is just wonderful, too.  I could use a change of scenery for my mouth, in person, not just in my imagination.  You know what I'm saying, Friends? 

Anyway, in my imaginary job as Official Cruise-Boat Greeter for the Imaginary Ports of Alaska, Especially Catchy-Can Because That's My Favorite To Say (you should SEE my nametag, with all that on it!), one of my chief things is to remind people to visit and buy things at the shops and stores and restaurants and other establishments in town while their cruise-boat is here.  If people don't buy things, I can lose my imaginary job!  Woah!

So if you're in my Catchy-Can town today, Friends, please remember to exit through the gift shop!  Tell 'em Zoe sentchya!

Hahaha!  I love ya, Friends!  I really do!  Muah!