Hiya, Summer Vacation!

Didja make it to summer, Friends?

 Well, Friends, here we are on the last day of May.  Boy, the time's going fast, isn't it?  Why, it seems like I was just talking about the first day of school, and now school's over already.

Wait a minute.  I wasn't doing this blog-gig then.  I didn't start until into the school year.  But I'm glad I got started. 

Anyway, school's out for the summer. It really doesn't matter one way or the other to me, since I'm not in school yet, but my Aunt Colleen's a teacher, and it definitely matters to her.  It'll definitely matter to me in a few years, too.  Mommy hasn't stopped bawling about that since yesterday.  It's really kinda sad.

This schoolyear was a rough one.  Tonight at graduation, Mommy's giving the first annual Darlene J. Sitler Memorial Scholarship.  She and a few friends from high school founded it in December, after their elementary music teacher was killed.  It was just awful.  I remember Mommy crying and crying, and I just hugged her and hugged her.  And now they have the scholarship to give out.  I never got to meet Ms. Sitler, but I think I would have liked her.  I think of her whenever Mommy and I sing, or I play one of my musical instruments.  I think that's a good way to keep somebody from really going away, Friends.  Keep thinking about them.  Keep singing their songs.  Start up a memorial scholarship for 'em, if you can.

Then there was all the things that happened on the national level.  That school in Connecticut.  The tornadoes in the Midwest.  Seems like there's always something, Friends.  Always something that can just snatch us right up out of our lives and change everything as we know it.  This world's a scary place.

It's also a pretty wonderful place, if you let it be, Friends.  That's what I've learned this schoolyear.  If I worry about what's coming next, I'd be afraid to put one foot in front of the other.  So I'm trying to practice just taking things as they come.  New teeth?  No big deal!  Learning to climb stairs? Baby, please... I was doing that by myself way back in the Fall.  Now all of a sudden, there's new seats on the potties in the house, small enough for me to sit on, and Mommy says my days in diapers are numbered.

Be cool, and take things as they come!

This one, I'm having trouble fathoming.  I like pulling that silver handle on the potty, but I'm not gonna lie.  When I tried out my new seat today after my bath, I was pretty sure that potty was a white porcelain god, ready to swallow up sacrificial Zoe.  So I'm going to advise Mommy to pump the brakes on this particular thing.  Pump those breaks, Mommy!

I think Mommy should listen to me on this one, especially because I've reached sort of a pax with my naptimes.  You know how I like to rail and not go willingly to that afternoon sleep. If you don't know that about me, take my word for it.  I've pretty much resented naptime ever since I figured out that there are about a kajillion more fun things I could be doing during those hours. 

The thing of it is, I've gone a few days in a row without my nap, and I'm starting to get it when Mommy says that all Big People want is for somebody to tell them to take a nap in the afternoon.  So I don't give Mommy any hassle about it, anymore.  She takes me up to my room, we sit in the leather rocking chair, she reads me Curious George Goes to an Ice Cream Shop, and then she tucks me right in.  Just like that.  And I go to sleep and wake up feeling just pretty darned great, just in time for suppertime.

And speaking of supper, I'm really excited for suppers this summer.  See, last night, I got to eat the same thing Mommy and Daddy ate.  We had fish tacos, and I got one, all to myself.  Yes, I've been eating Big People food for quite some time, but usually for supper, I get mac-n-cheese and a hot dog and some mixed vegetables and applesauce, but last night, I got to eat fish tacos in real time, at the table with Mommy and Daddy, and did I ever feel like a big cheese.  Hey!  There as even taco cheese on my fish taco.  And black beans, and corn, and tomatoes and peppers!  And I loved it!  I couldn't believe that I was getting to eat honest-to-goodness Big People food WITH my Big People!!!

I'll help you, Friends!  Follow me to Happy!

I think that's just it, Friends.  Let's put this rough schoolyear behind us and get a good start on this summer.  We can't change what all happened from September until now, but we sure can make the most of every day from now until September.  It's all kinds of starting-fresh. 

Relaxing and recharging. 

Are you up for it, Friends? I sure am.  And don't you worry, Big People.  Your pal Zoe's gonna be with you every step of the way.  I'll help ya feel lots better.

Let's make Summer 2013 the Best Summer Ever.  We've earned it.

I love ya, Big People!  Big hugs and kisses!  Muah!

Muah!!!

If Somebody from 100 Years Ago Visited Me

Do I look Edwardian in this big hat, Friends?

Hiya, Friends!  I've been thinking about the year 1913 a lot lately.  I think it's because not long ago, we watched on the television a miniseries program about the Titanic.  Not the movie Titanic.  No. This was a miniseries that was a dramatic portrayal of the building of the ship the Titanic.  I liked it a lot, mainly because I love hats, and the women in the show wore the best hats.

Oh, my goodness, Big People, were those hats ever huge!  You just don't see hats like that, these days.  You just don't, and it's probably just as well anyways, because headgear of that magnitude just isn't suited for our casual and active lifestyles.

Ummmm.... we're not very active, as a society.  I mean on the whole.  A certain sub-section of the population is active, but a lot of people are not.  In fact, I'd even argue that as our hats have gotten smaller over the years, our bottoms have gotten bigger.  Yikes!

Back to my original topic, though.  I got to thinking about what if.  What if somebody from a hundred years ago visited me, Zoe?  What would I show them about 2013?  What would really wow 'em?

First of all, I think they'd be really bowled over by the Texas Hot in Downtown Wellsville!  That place wasn't opened until 1921!  How about that?!  That's eight years this side of 1913!  And while I don't think that cooking changed much from 1913 to 1921, I betchya somebody from 1913 would be flabbergasted by my favorite restaurant!

OH MY GOODNESS YOU'RE GOIN' OUT IN YOUR UNDIES!

Something else I'd show my friend from 1913 is how we dress today.  It's a lot different from the way they dressed in 1913.  Men can go out in T-shirts, which were basically underwear until what, the 1970s?  Do you know?  It wasn't socially acceptable to wear a T-shirt to school or work or just out and about for a very long time.  That much I know.  Anyway, I think a fellow from 1913 would be surprised that T-shirts and dungarees are more or less normal wear in lotsa situations.  And 1913 ladies would be pleasantly surprised, I think, to know that girls don't have to wear corsets anymore, and we can wear pants, too!

You can just move better in pants than you can in a long dress and a corset, I'd imagine, Friends!  Boy, am I glad I'm a girl in 2013 and not 1913 for that!

And women can vote!  Women couldn't vote in 1913!  They'd get beaten up and thrown in jail for trying!  That's why I will never take for granted my right to vote, Friends!  I can vote, but I betchya my great-great-great grandma couldn't!  So that fact might surprise somebody from 1913.

Oh Lord, won'tchya buy me a Mercedes-Benz?

Although they had flying machines and horseless carriages in 1913, I think our airplanes and cars would really make my 1913 friend do a double-take, especially those giant airplanes that take people across the ocean without having to stop for gas.  And well, our cars these days.  They're all shiny and colorful and fast, and they don't look like carriages without horses anymore!

I think the central vacuum unit in my house would really confound someone from the year 1913.  I don't think vacuum cleaners came along until the 1920s, let alone a vacuum cleaner built right into the house!  

Also, I think something like a microwave oven would really wow somebody from 1913, don't you, Friends?  The microwave pretty much wows me, too.  I just can't believe it!  Mommy puts cold food in, and in a few seconds, out comes that food, but it's hot!  And it's all done as if by magic!  I think the microwave would be a big hit with somebody from 1913, and that's not even taking into consideration things like microwave popcorn.  That right there would seal the deal, I think, microwave popcorn!

Hey, 1913: plastic's fantastic!

You know, something we take for granted every day is plastic.  They just didn't have plastic in 1913.  That means there was no Tupperware, no Gladware, no Ziploc Baggies.  They wouldn't have had neat plastic toys like my recycled milkjug tractor or my inflatable bathtub.  I think we overuse plastic in 2013, especially with disposable water bottles, but overall, I think that used responsibly, plastic is pretty fantastic.  It's even pretty fun to say: PLASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTIC!  

And plastic is what's made possible all our technology.  Now, if my visitors from 1913 weren't sold on 2013 based on our less-restrictive mode of dressing, or our advances in human rights, or our massive flying machines and shiny horseless carriages, I betchya my 1913 friends would just flip when they saw a television set, or a laptop computer or an iPad or an iPhone!

Think about it!  We can connect with anybody, anywhere in the world except for North Korea, with just a couple keystrokes and a click!  Our messages get beamed up into outer space and beamed back to our friends on the other side of the world.  Just like that!  Back in 1913, people used to have to write down their message and take it to a telegraph office to be changed into Morse code, which would then hafta be tapped out in dots and dashes, sent across wires, and translated back into real words and put down on paper.  For 1913, that process was magical, and so was Marconi's wireless radio, but it's the stuff of dinosaurs compared to what we can do now! 

At least my big hat would be familiar to a friend from 1913!

And everybody types these days!  In 1913, only a few people could type.

 On the flipside, everybody had nice handwriting in 1913, and these days, only a few people have nice handwriting.  That's the only thing about all of this that makes me feel sad.  Well, that and the wasted plastic island in the Pacific Ocean.  But I'd like to have somebody clean up that plastic island and recycle it, and also have everybody have nice handwriting again.

I guess no age is perfect.  But I sure would like to have a visitor from 1913.  I think that would just be the coolest thing ever!

Mondayless Weeks Mess With My Head!

What day is it?  Do I know?

Hiya, Friends!  Well, it's Wednesday, even though it doesn't feel like Wednesday.  It feels more like Tuesday, a little.  You know why?  We had a Mondayless Week this week!

Imagine how taken aback I was to find Daddy home with me four days in a row, and then on the fifth to wake up and have things be back to same-old, same-old with Mommy, also known as the Short Bath-Giver!  Why, sometimes I think I ought to feel lucky she even gives me a bath at all, and doesn't just take me outside, sit me in a bucket, and spray me off with the hose.  Would it kill Mommy to put a decent amount of water in my tub, and fill it up the rest of the way with luxuriously foamy bubbles and, I don't know, let me stay in there more than a coupla minutes?

I bet it wouldn't kill her, Friends.  I bet she'd be just fine, letting me have a relaxing little soak.

What was I even talking about?

Right!  It's Wednesday!

Oh, yeah!  Mondayless Weeks!  I know we all get bummed out by Mondays.  I know it.  I do, too.  But they serve an important purpose.  They hold the place of all the other days of the week, so that we know which foot we're on.

I'm not complaining, mind you.  I love having extra days that Daddy's home, and that I can see Aunt Colleen and Uncle Lorentz and Gramma and Grampa.  I love it!  But then when the inevitable occurs, and we hafta go back on a regular schedule, if that regular schedule starts off on a Tuesday, for instance, I feel like I've started marching in a parade, but I wasn't sure which foot to start out on, and the one I started out on is probably the wrong one.

Does that make sense?

Let's knock the rest of this week out, Big People!

I can tell I'm getting older.  This kind of thing never usedta bother me, but now it really sort of does.  I don't even have a good answer for it, and you know that's unusual for me, Big People.  I guess I'm just letting you know I feel your pain, and I can commiserate.  Does that make you feel better?  It sort of makes me feel better, knowing we're all in the same boat.  It does.

Anyway, Friends, I know we're only on the second day of the daily grind this week, but we're already on the downhill slope of the week.  Friday's still in two days.  That's something that oughtta make you wanna just smile big.  So let's get to it, Big People! 

 Let's send this week home in a decisive manner!  Now that we know what day it is, let's decide which foot to start out on, from here on out.  I say the right one.  Start out on the right foot, always, and you can't be wrong!  Rah!

Well, I'm Back!

Hiya, Friends!  It's good to be back!

 Hiya, Friends!  Well, I'm back from fishin'.  Funny thing about it is that I didn't actually go fishing, so I didn't catch any big fish or little fish.  Isn't that funny?  I guess I shoulda known, when I didn't get any kind of fishing pole. 

I missed you over the weekend!

At first, I wondered if I was s'posed to tickle the fish I was supposed to catch, while I was fishin', but I was pretty relieved to learn that 'gone fishin'' is merely an expression, a figure of speech.  I mean, you go fishin' and you catch a fish, and then what do you do with it?  Throw it back?  Filet it?

I'm not old enough to handle sharp knives by myself, you know.  Hooo boy, I've tried to help Mommy in the kitchen, reaching for a sharp knife, merely REACHING for it, mind you, and the diaper really hit the fan!

And you know, it's just as well that I didn't go fishin' for real.    To tell you the truth, I'm still a little bit haunted by the McDonald's commersh where the fish on the wall is singing about wanting that filet-o-fish back.  That'd be awkward!

But now I don't hafta miss ya anymore, because here we both are!!!

 So if I wasn't fishin' when I said I was goin' fishin', what was it that I was doing?  Well, I was pretty much spending time with my family.  Enjoying being with Gramma and Grampa and Aunt Colleen and Uncle Lorentz.  It was lotsa fun. 

I learned how to blow bubbles with a bubble-wand, and I learned how to roast and eat marshmallows.  I mean, I ate roasted marshmallows.  Why should I roast 'em myself when I have six Big People at my beck and call?

I'll tell you all about it later on, Friends!  Right now, though, I am STILL on an epic sugar rush!  I'd better go burn off my excess energy, before I get myself in trouble!  Muah!

The Daily Zoe's Gone Fishin'!I'll

I'll be back Tuesday!

Hiya, Friends!  I know I said over on the Facebook that the dang ol' blog would be churnin' along all weekend, but then I got to thinking about it, and you know what?  I think I'm gonna hang a "Gone Fishin'" sign on the blog until Tuesday, May 28th, 2013. 

Would that be all right with you? 

If ya miss me too much over here on the dang ol' The Daily Zoe Blog, you can go back to the beginning and maybe ketchup, in case you've missed anything.  Or you could go back and comment on your favorites.  I love getting comments, but nobody comments, usually.  And it's too bad.  You don't need to be shy about commenting.  Nobody's gonna be mean to you!  Mommy'll see to that!

Most of all, enjoy the long weekend.  Hug a veteran and say Thank You. 

I'll see ya on Tuesday, Friends!  It's not all that far away!  I love ya!

Dandy Lines

Oooooh!  That Dandy Line is PRETTY!

Hiya, Friends!  Yesterday was a hot one outside, so I put on my SPF and went exploring, and do you know what I found?

I found me some Dandy Lines.  You know, those pretty yellow flowers outside?  They're yellow, and then they turn all fluffy and white, and you can blow on 'em, and their little fairy-pods go flying into the air? 

Dandy Lines!

It got me thinking about Dandy Lines, and how pretty they are, so when I came back inside, I looked 'em up on the World Wide Web.  You wouldn't believe what I found out about these pretty yellow flowers, Friends!

Why, some people think they're NOXIOUS WEEDS!  Noxious?!  Can't they see how pretty and yellow they are!  Don't they know what all you can DO with Dandy Lines?!

Dandy Lines make me so happy!

You can EAT Dandy Lines!  The whole thing from flower to root to leaves are EDIBLE!  How about that?!  You can roast up the roots, you can make salad out of the leaves, and also use the flowers in salad!  I suppose that stem could also go in the salad, since it doesn't seem like it'd stand up to roasting very well.

Dandy Lines are an ingredient in Root Beer!  How about that?!

Some people make Dandy Line Wine with the flowers.  I'm too little to know about wine, but I'm plenty familiar with the kind of wine that has the "H" in it, especially when I don't wanna nap.  See what I did there?  Those two words sound alike, wine and whine.  Completely different things, though.  They're totally different.  That's why it's funny!

Dandy Lines are beautiful!

Back to Dandy Lines, though.  Didja know that Dandy Lines can be beneficial to your garden, because the taproots bring nutrients to the soil?  And also, some birds eat Dandy Line seeds, and the Dandy Lines can attract insects to pollinate the plants in the garden! 

Besides that, you can take the flower off the stem, bend it around and plug in the narrow end where the flower was to the wider end, and make a circle.  If you make a buncha circles out of a buncha stems, you can make a chain, and then if you wanna pretend you're making scrambled eggs while you're playing outside, you can take a pie-plate, and put in the yellow flowers, and pretend you're cooking them.

I know some people out there are allergic to Dandy Lines, and that makes me feel kind of bad.  I think of Dandy Lines as Super-Extra Hardy Free Perennial Flowers!  And I just love 'em!

I Worry About Amelia Bedelia

Hiya, Friends!  I know I've mentioned it before, but you know, I am quite a reader.  I read all kinds of books.  I read about Curious George, and Wemberly, Owen, and Chrysanthemum, I read about the Berenstain Bears and Clifford the Big Red Dog.  I also read about Amelia Bedelia, and that's who I want to talk about today.

Boy, do I ever worry about Amelia Bedelia!

Friends, I sure do worry about that Amelia Bedelia! She's always messing something up, poor thing, and getting in trouble for it, too!  For instance, Amelia Bedelia put powder all over the furniture to dust it, instead of taking dust off the furniture.  She got out a pencil and paper and sketched the curtains when Mrs. Rogers said to "draw the curtains."  When she was told to change the towels, she cut up the towels!

Holy moly, Friends!  No wonder Mrs. Rogers got so mad at Amelia Bedelia!

One time, Mrs. Rogers got so mad at Amelia Bedelia that she fired her!  Oh, my goodness!  And Amelia Bedelia went and tried a buncha other jobs besides being a maid.  She used real pins to pin up a lady's hair in a hair salon.  She just cut off the dresses she was supposed to shorten, instead of cutting them off and carefully hemming them up.  When she worked at a doctor's office, she picked up the patients and carried them back to the exam room.

Ooof!  Amelia Bedelia's really messed up good, this time!

Everybody was so bewildered! And Amelia Bedelia kept getting fired!

The thing of it is, and here's what I don't really understand, is that as far as being a maid or a seamstress or beautician's assistant, or receptionist, Amelia Bedelia isn't that with-it.  But she always saves her own bacon before the end of the book by baking something delicious.

It makes me wonder why Amelia Bedelia spends so much time trying to be those things.  Why can't she see that her strength is baking?  I think Amelia Bedelia would be a wonderful pastry chef, and make all kinds of cakes, and cream puffs, and pies, and CUPCAKES!  Why, I bet of anybody, Amelia Bedelia would be the one to help me make my dream of making a Cupcakeinator a reality. 

Rozzie and I would LOVE to be Amelia Bedelia's official tasters!

I think that's where the key to success is found, Friends.  You wanna identify what you're good at, and go for it, instead of trying so hard to be something you just weren't cut out for.  Amelia Bedelia wasn't cut out to be a maid!  She was clearly meant to be a pastry chef!  That's the lesson I learn from the Amelia Bedelia books!  I understand other people read into the hilarity of Amelia Bedelia taking orders literally, when they're meant to be figures of speech.  I just don't buy that explanation.  Amelia Bedelia's just been waiting, all these years, for someone to say to her, "Amelia Bedelia, howsabout working in my pastry shop?" and Amelia Bedelia would be a successful pastry chef, with a television show on the Food channel, and a line of Amelia Bedelia-branded kitchen tools, you know, pans and spatulas and such, and cookbooks.  I think Amelia Bedelia would be a force to be reckoned with, if she were a pastry chef!

If I could say something to Amelia Bedelia, it would be that she's given being a maid for Mr. and Mrs. Rogers her best shot, but after all these years, she's still goofing things up, and it's time to go with a new career choice, something she's really, REALLY good at.  Amelia Bedelia, if you're reading this, I have a buncha ideas for pastries, and I know you'd understand where I'm coming from.  Let's talk!

My New Little Giraffe Friend

Remember my friend Nora, Friends?  Here she is!

 Hiya, Friends!  A week ago today, Mommy and Gramma and I went to the Arnot Mall.  I wanted to visit my Little Giraffe Friend Nora.

I met Nora at last year's Convention to Raise Awareness of the Plight of Little Giraffes Everywhere.  As you know, I'm active in helping Little Giraffes in my neighborhood as well as a tribe of Little Giraffes that live in the Greater Pittsburgh Area, and actually, if any Little Giraffe needs my help, I am there to give it to them, Big People.  I will not turn away from helping out any Little Giraffe when you get right down to it, Friends.

Anyway, at that convention, Nora talked about how she used to feel bad about her neck, but she's figured out that we shouldn't feel bad about our necks or our milk bellies or whatever it is we have and we feel self-conscious about.

Do you think Rhoda likes it here with me?

It was very inspirational, and it changed my life!  It really did, Friends!

So imagine my surprise and delight to meet Nora a few weeks later, right at the Hallmark Store at the Arnot Mall!  She lives there and is the Little Giraffe Goodwill Ambassador, and she greets everybody who comes into the Hallmark Store.  I went right up to Nora and told her I recognized her, and that I loved her speech at the convention, and Nora was so friendly and gracious.

I just love Nora!

Well, this visit with Nora, I learned that her cousin Rhoda also lives at the Hallmark store at the Arnot Mall, but she wanted a home with windows, and where she could settle in and not wonder if the next person to walk through was going to give her a good home, or if they'd take her into hostile territory, or if she was gonna hafta stay at the store forever!

We're gonna get along just fine!

Could you imagine living with that kind of uncertainty, Friends?  I sure couldn't!  Plus, once I went to the back of the store to meet Rhoda, she told me she wanted to be where she could help Little Giraffes everywhere, because unlike Nora, who gets to see all kinds of people at the front of the store, Rhoda was in the toy aisle, and when people are there, they don't want to hear about the plight of Little Giraffes.  They want to pick their present and get on their way!

Well, wouldn't you know that Rhoda fits in very well here at my place!  She's sweet and smart, just like Nora, and she helps everybody stay calm around here when things get hectic and stressful.  Plus, she gives the BEST HUGS!  And when Wellington and the Little Giraffes of the Wild Steppes of Wexford call up and complain because their bus isn't taking them to Sonic enough, Rhoda talks them through it, and helps them realize that they feel better when they eat nutritious food, and that their bus DOES take them to Sonic enough, for sometimes-treats.  She's really handy to have around here, Friends!  And she says she doesn't miss the Mall, because she can call Nora whenever she wants, and email, and Skype sometimes.  I'm pretty proud of ol' Rhoda, and I sure am happy to have her here! 

That's what I love about meeting new people and new Little Giraffes, Friends!  I get to make new friends and keep the friends I've had all along. 

And remember, I love ya!  Muah!

Why I Love Where I'm From!

Just look at me now, Friends!  Just look at me now!

 Hiya, Friends!  Something wonderful happened yesterday!  I got to sit on the tractor, right in the driver's seat, all strapped in like a big girl!  It was fantastic!

See, Mommy gets to drive the tractor all the time when she mows the lawn or plows snow out of the driveway, and Daddy gets to drive the tractor to smooth out dirt, or to move heavy things.

I never get to be near the tractor, because I'm too little.  I'm not going to lie.  That is a fact that has bothered me, my whole entire life.  Just because I'm little doesn't mean I can't see how much fun a big, orange tractor is!

Yesterday, Daddy let me sit on the seat, and he put the seatbelt on me, and didn't I ever feel like a Big Cheese!

I think this tractor suits me, don't you, Friends?

 Just in case you're the excitable type, Friend, don't worry.  Daddy didn't let me roll the tractor, or be on it while it was rolling.  I wasn't even allowed to be NEAR it while it was moving.

Now back to my adventure!  Even though I didn't get to go anywhere on the tractor, it didn't stop me from mowing the lawn in my imagination.  It didn't stop me from scooping up imaginary dirt and dumping it back out on the ground!  It was so much fun!

NOW YOU CAN SEE THE WHOLE TRACTOR AND ME!

 I realize that mowing the lawn on the tractor is Mommy's job. ... For now.  I suppose I can accept that.  I mean, my legs are too short to reach the tractor pedals.  I can't reach 'em to make the tractor go frontwards or backwards, so I guess I can't expect to be allowed to drive the tractor now.  But as soon as I can reach those pedals, Mommy's gonna hafta find herself a NEW job!  When I can reach those pedals, I am gonna have me a fine time driving that orange fun-machine around! 

I can't reach the key to turn it, either, but I know where it is!

 I can just see me now, wearin' a pair of colorful rubber boots, buckled into the driver's seat of this glorious tractor, my hair flying in the breeze.  I'll probably wear some sunglasses, too.  I feel like that would be the appropriate thing to do when I'm driving the tractor.  And I'll probably listen to some music through headphones while I'm driving the tractor.  I mean, the engine's pretty loud, so I'll hafta wear hearing protectors, so I might as well also wear some music-earpieces, so I can listen to something besides just the insides of my ears.

I won't crank the tunes up too loud, though! 

Tractors are just one perk to livin' in the country!

Yep, I see a bright and glorious friendship in the future for me and the tractor.  It feels like home to me, that tractor driver's seat.  I feel comfortable there.

I guess what I'm saying is that I'm glad I get to live where I live, so I can drive a tractor!  I think that little kids that live in the city don't get to.  They get neat parks, and museums and stuff like that, but I can always GO to a city and visit a museum or a park.  I don't think my tractor would like it much in the city, though.  So I think I've got things pretty good, Friends.  I don't think I live in a "disadvantaged" area.  I think I live in a "differentvantaged" area.  This is my home, and we get to drive tractors, and that can't be a bad thing!

Here's to blooming where you're planted, Friends!  Here's to blooming where you're planted!  And remember, Zoe loves ya!  Muah!

The Rainbow in My Room!

I have a rainbow in my room!

Hiya, Friends!  I wanna tell you about the rainbow I have in my room.  

See, it's this nightlight-like thing that sits on my dresser, and it has a button on it, and when I turn on that button, some lights shine on a mirror, and it makes a rainbow on the wall behind my crib.  How about that?!

It isn't like a regular rainbow that needs to have water and sunshine shining through the water droplets.  This is a prism and a mirror and magic!

Or something else.  Maybe sciency stuff.  I don't know.  You can follow this link to see what the company says about the Rainbow in my Room toy that I have.

No rain required for my rainbow!  Nope!

Frankly, I don't care about all that sciency stuff about the Rainbow in my Room.  All I know for sure, and all I care about is that the rainbow makes me happy.

It got me thinking about little kids in hospitals.  And Big People, for that matter.  Wouldn't it be great if everybody, but especially people in the hospital, could have a rainbow in their rooms?  Why, if it didn't make 'em spend less time in the hospital out of sheer rainbow-y wonderfulness, I bet it'd at least make it seem a little less dreary. 

Think about it.  Who DOESN'T smile and feel at least a little better when they see a rainbow?  That's the whole POINT of rainbows!  It's like the world saying "here's a buncha rain I've dumped on you, but look up, look up, LOOK UP!  I madejya a RAINBOW!"  If you've ever wished you could bottle that feeling, and save it for a day when it isn't raining, but you feel as though it is, you pretty much can't beat this handy Rainbow in My Room device.

I feel like rainbows are the world's way of saying 'It's gonna be okay!'

I don't even think having a projector that projects a pretty rainbow on the wall ought to be limited to just people in hospitals.  I think everybody could use a little boost, every now and then, and that's how my Rainbow in My Room works for me!  If I'm upset, or not ready to get out of crib, I ask for the Rainbow to be turned on, and I feel like that rainbow on my wall is a big floor to dance on, and there are all kinds of slowly turning disco balls, and I'm dancing in all those sparkles on that rainbow.

I think everybody ought to feel like that, Big People!  I think everybody ought to have a rainbow of some kind that they can look out when they need to.  I think the world would be a happier place.  We could call it 'rainbow therapy.'  We could make that a thing. 

Anyway, rainbow therapy or no rainbow therapy, I love ya just the same, Big People!  Always remember that!  Muah!

My Favorite Flavor!

I think my favorite flavor is sour!

 Hiya, Friends!  Happy Friday to you!  You know what?  Ever since Tuesday night, I haven't been able to get that sauerkraut I got to eat out of my mind.  I can't stop thinking about it!  I've eaten some really good things at the Texas Hot in Downtown Wellsville, but I've never had anything quite like that sauerkraut!

I like sour things, really.  Dill pickles, lemons... that sauerkraut.  I think it's my favorite flavor.

You know how some people travel around, eating hot wings and hot peppers and all kinds of hot foods, to see just how hot they can tolerate their food in their mouths?  It's extreme!

Well, I'm not quite like that.  I don't want to eat extremely sour things, but I would like to travel around and taste lots of sour things, just for the fun of it, just in the pursuit of sourness!  Just to feel my lips pucker all up and my tongue curl!

You mean to tell me sauerkraut tastes great and is good for ya?!?

On the Internet, I read that back in the day, there were sour candies called "War Heads," and gumballs that were called "Crybabies," and they were all sour.  It makes my tongue curl, just thinking about them.  Mommy says I can't have any of those candies.  She says I'm too little for gumballs and hard candies, 'cause I might choke on 'em.

On the other hand, I also found out about something called "Sour Patch Kids."  They're like gumdrops, but instead of sweet-sugar covering them, there's sour-sugar covering the candies, and best of all, if you get a box of 'em, or a bag of 'em, some of the sour-sugar gets knocked off the candy and settles to the bottom, and you can eat just the sugar, right out of the box, or the bottom of the bag!  How about that?!

I could cook up a mess of sauerkraut in a crockpot and have a party!

Mommy says maybe sometime, I can have some Sour Patch Kids.  I think that's nice of her.  She doesn't let me have candy very often.

Of course, sauerkraut like what I got to eat the other night at The Texas Hot in Downtown Wellsville, is nice 'n' sour, and it isn't candy and it's really good for a body, so there's something for me and Mommy both to like!  I bet I wouldn't even have to come up with an argument to get Mommy to let me eat some more of that sauerkraut.  Why, they even sell that in the stores, sauerkraut.  I've seen it!  I've seen it right while I was riding around in the cart at Wegmans once! 

I betcha I could cook up a mess of sauerkraut in something like a crock pot, since I'm not allowed to use the stove.  And then I could have everybody over, and we can have sauerkraut and lemons and Sour Patch Kids!  It'll be fun!  And tasty!

I'm Going on Vacation in My Head (TM) and You're Invited!

It's time for a Vacation in Our Heads (TM)!

Hiya, Friends!  Well, it's Thursday, and you know what?  With Tuesday's power outage and the dipsy-doodle weather we've had lately, I've decided something.  I've decided that it's time to go on a Vacation in My Head (TM), and you know what else?  I want you all to come along, Friends. 

Now, usually, I'd ask everybody where we ought to go on our Vacation in Our Heads (TM), but in the interest of getting to go on our Vacation in Our Heads (TM) in a timely manner, namely today, I'm just going to pick.  ... No, don't even worry.  I'm not picking Chuck E. Cheese for my Vacation in Our Heads (TM).  No. 

I've chosen the Island of Oahu in the State of Hawaii.  That's right.  The Land of Aloha, and King Kamehameha, and ukuleles, and pretty flowers, and excellent shopping, and sandy beaches, and ocean waves, and sweet, sweet fresh fruit and delicious fresh fish, and...

See this fridge? We don't need it on our Vacation in Our Heads (TM)!

I'm getting ahead of myself, and I apologize.  It's just that I had so much fun the last time I went on a Vacation in My Head (TM) to Hawaii, and I wanted to get there quickly!  But I guess I'd better back up and letchya know how to get there.  On a regular vacation, you hafta pack, and then unpack and take half your stuff out, and make sure your fluids aren't more than three ounces, and then you hafta get to the airport early and then fly on a big airplane for EVER, and you're kinda tired all out before you get to your destination.

It isn't like that when you take a Vacation in Your Head (TM).  We get to skip all that.  Just close your eyes, and you can be there!

'Cause there are RESTAURANTS!

Now, if you LIKE the airport and airplane portions of vacation, feel free to imagine all of that.  I just choose to skip forward, and find myself on the beach, in the warm sand!  I'm on Waikiki Beach, because I like to be in the middle of everything, and I'm gonna go up Diamondhead a little later on.  On a Vacation in My Head (TM), I can hike Diamond Head anytime I wanna, I don't have to wait until it's open.  It works that way for you, too, Big People.  Anyplace you wanna go, there aren't a lot of people.

Back to our Vacation.  Once we've had enough of the beach, I want to go to Lulu's with everybody.  Lulu's is this place where you're eating inside, but it feels like you're eating outside, because the windows aren't windows, they're just open spaces in the walls, and they have lights that are made out of real pufferfish!

Actually, that's not really a big selling point of that particular restaurant.  But according to Mommy, the food's really good, so we can overlook the light-up pufferfish.

We're gonna have a GREAT time, Friends!

And there's a ColdStone Creamery right under the Aston Hotel!  A real Cold Stone!  I think we wanna go there after!  I love ice cream!  And ice cream and the beach is tops!

And maybe we can go to the International Marketplace after we do all that eating!  It's right in the middle of Waikiki, and it's a shopping area with lotsa trees!  And the busiest Post Office in the whole entire country!  How about that?!  But it just looks like a treehouse!  And there's little geckos all over the place!  You can't take 'em home as pets, but you can make friends with 'em while we're in Hawaii.

Then, we can go around and gather up plumeria flowers and make a great big lei.  I think that'd be fun, and leis smell so pretty.  When I'm looking at picture-books, the plumeria are my favorite.  And the hibiscus.  I like all flowers, really.

I think we should learn how to surf while we're on our Vacation in Our Heads (TM).  I don't hafta worry about being a baby who can't swim, because I've got me a swim-vest I'm gonna show you in a few days, and besides, when you're on a pretend vacation, you're automatically good at everything you try! 

And the calories don't count either.

So let's saddle up, Friends!  Let's go on my Vacation in Our Heads (TM)!  Right now!

Darned If The Lights Didn't Go Out Again!

Power went out again yesterday!

Hiya, Big People!  I almost didn't make it today.  See, I usually write to you a coupla days ahead of time, so that my posts can be hot off the presses and ready for you, first thing in the mornings, if you like a little something to read while you have your breakfast sandwich and coffee.  Last night, I wasn't able to write today's post for you, because guess what:  The electricity went off again!  For eleven hours!  Holy moly! 

I mean, it wasn't SO bad, really.  I got to go to the Texas Hot in Downtown Wellsville, because Mommy didn't want to have to open the refrigerator or freezer, to get anything out to eat, for fear of letting their cold air out and the warm air in.  She said that'd make all our cold foods spoil, and we definitely didn't want that..

It's gettin' to be an old story!

So like I said, we got to go to The Texas Hot, and that's always nice!  Last night, there were lotsa people in there, and they had nice lights, and it was warm, and I found a new thing I like to eat.  Guess what it is.  Guess!

If you guessed sauerkraut, you are correct, Sir or Madam! 

If you didn't guess sauerkraut, I guess you wouldn't be alone in being surprised.  I grabbed some sauerkraut off Mommy's plate last night, and ate it, and went back for more, and Mommy and Daddy were really surprised, and so was the woman in the booth across from us, who looked a little bit like Dame Edna.  Well, maybe not Dame Edna, but Dame Edna's weird-looking sister.

But I got to go to the Texas Hot!

Ummmm.  I'm digressing.  The point is I really, really liked that sauerkraut, and Mommy said it was straight-up sauerkraut, not even with a little brown sugar in it to take off some of its edge.  I liked the edge!  Why would anybody wanna take the edge off?

When it really got to me, the electricity being off last night, was that I had to go to bed early.  Mommy and Daddy decided since they couldn't keep track of me with the lights off, I'd be safest in my crib.  I vocally disagreed, but apparently I don't live in a democracy.

So I'm gonna start campaigning really hard for a backup generator that's wired right in to my house.  That's what I'm gonna do.  I shouldn't hafta be shuffled off to crib just because the lights are off!  I shouldn't!  Mommy and Daddy not being able to see me in the dark is THEIR problem, not mine!

I was glad to see the electricity working right today!

I just feel as though I was unfairly incarcerated, just because it was dark, and I'm little.  It was unfair.  There must be some kind of convention Mommy and Daddy were in violation of, sending me to crib early, 'cause of the lack of lights!  I'm gonna look it up!  I'm gonna find out!  You bet I am!

Anyway, I'm glad as all get-out that the power's back on.  Power's something you take for granted until you don't have it anymore, and then you get it back and love it!  That's where I am right now, Friends!  I love electricity!

So hopefully, I'll see ya bright and early tomorrow.  I just wanted you to know what happened to me, so you'd know I wasn't skiving off my blog again.  I'm not gonna be The Occasional Zoe!  I am The Daily Zoe!!! Always!!! Muah!!!

My Backpack of Preparedness!

It's a good idea to be prepared!

Hiya, Friends!  Happy Tuesday to you!  Didja survive Monday the Thirteenth?  I sure did.  Maybe I got all wound up and made a mountain out of a molehill about Monday the Thirteenth. 

Or did I?  I mean, sure, I was probably tilting at bogeymen. 

But it doesn't hurt to be prepared for things.   You know.  It doesn't hurt to be ready.  Anticipate, plan for.  Be ready to act.

I've recently come into a smart and stylish fashion accessory that helps me do just that: Be prepared.

What is it?  It's my pink and gray backpack!

This thing is great!  I can fit some necessary objects in it, you know, some snacks, a sippy cup, some toys, my dipes and wipes, a flashlight, a phone, if I can get my hands on one. It'll even hold a small board book if I want to bring along some reading material.

Even in trying times, it's good to keep your mind fed, Friends.  It is.  Remember that!

Hey!  Stop right there, intruder!

It's pretty comfortable, my backpack.  You know, I don't fill it all up so it's too heavy.  That would cut down on the comfortableness, filling it up so it was too heavy.

I'm working on achieving the perfect balance between bringing enough stuff, and keeping my backpack comfortably weighted.  But when I get it right, do I ever feel sassy.  I mean, do I ever feel sassy!

You know, my snappy backpack also has this nifty little D-ring on the bottom of it.  I can have a lead clipped to it, and what do you know?  I have a parent leash.  You see, I've noticed this thing when I'm out and about with Mommy.  She doesn't like to go looking at the things I like to go look at.  I love to just walk over and have a closer look at this and that, but that Mommy tends to keep her feet planted, or worse, make me look at stuff only she likes. 

BOOOOOOOOOO-RING! 

Ooops!  You're supposed to be here.  My bad!  Sorry!

But my Parent's Leash helps with that.  See, I wear my backpack, and my hands are free to touch and feel anything I want, in the world around me.  And let's be clear, as a toddler, it is my solemn vow to experience the world around me with my own two hands, whether it be a shiny car, or a clean mirror or glass door, or clean and brand new clothes hanging on a rack.  That's why it is I who wear the backpack, and Mommy who holds the leash in her hand.

Some people think it's the other way around, that Mommy's in control of that leash, and I'm being controlled.  It simply isn't the case.  As I said, my hands are free, and she's got at least one hand occupied by holding the leash.  My feet are on the ground, free to propel me from here to there and back again, wherever there's something interesting for me to put my hands on.  And I have all my essentials, right on my back.  You can't beat that with a stick, Friends!  You just can't!

Gotta go, Friends!  I have some serious preparin' to do!

That's the genius behind the backpack, Friends!  It's all criss-crossed, who's in charge.  The one who readily looks as though she's in charge isn't, and the one who at first glance looks as though she's being restrained by a leashing device is free, free as the breeze, not riding in a stroller, not strapped to Mommy in the Moby Wrap, not being carried like a football or an errant piglet under Mommy's arm.  So, if you see me out and about, and I'm wearin' my backpack, and I've got Mommy on the Parents Leash, please don't feel bad for me.   Know this, , Friends.  This Tiger Baby has the world by the tail, and has Mommy on a leash.  I'm completely in charge of my situation.  I merely let my mother think she's in charge. 

Leading from behind while in front, Big People.  It's a strategery, Big People.  Look it up!  Look it up, and know this Zoe's just fine. 

Now, I've gotta go fill up my Backpack of Preparedness!

It's Monday the Thirteenth. Is That A Thing?

Yikes!  It's Monday the Thirteenth!

Hiya, Big People!  I notice on the calendar that today's Monday the Thirteenth.  Now, I know that people get all freaked out about Fridays the 13ths, so I was wondering if Monday the 13th also inspires such feelings of dread and superstition, and if now, how come, Big People?

Here's where I'm coming from.  We ALL LOVE FRIDAYS!  I mean, most of the people and animals I know love Fridays.  Maybe not so much Rozzie, because every fourth Friday, she goes to her vet for a bath and an injection, and I can see how that'd cramp her style, but the Fridays that aren't those Fridays, she seems to love Fridays as much as the rest of us!

So why is it that when Fridays happen to have the Number Thirteen in them, people get all weird about it, but when it happens to Mondays, everybody's like "just another day?"

We better batten the hatches and get our survival mac-n-cheese!

Maybe it's because Fridays are usually so great, that if something weird happens on a Friday the 13th, it's really out of the ordinary, because Fridays are usually so agreeable, but Mondays are stinkers in and of themselves, so if that same weird thing happened on a Monday the 13th, we all just chalk it up to having gotten a case of the Mondays.  Maybe that's it.

But I think we need to be vigilant on these Monday the Thirteenthses!  We've gotta be careful and pay attention!  Can't be too safe! 

I think that Mondays magnify the Whammy Factor of the Thirteenth, so if your printer just acts up on Friday the Thirteenth, or any regular Monday, on Monday the Thirteenth, your printer will not only act up, instead of printing what you want it to print, it'll print devil faces with bad words in the captions and send it to all your coworkers, so you get in trouble. 

Do we have emergency water?  I forgot to check!

Or you go to buy yourself a KitKat out of the vending machine in the break room, and you put in your dollar, and the machine keeps spitting out your dollar, so finally, you trade your dollar bill for four quarters from one of your co-workers, and you put in your money for the KitKat into the vending machine, and it eats your money and the spring that holds in the KitKat doesn't even move, and you don't get your money back OR your KitKat, but a Yodel from 1974 drops out. 

Or, if your toilet has been known to get clogged up on a Monday or a Friday the Thirteenth, on Monday the Thirteenth, it'll get clogged all the way up right when you're already late for work because your alarm clock forgot to go off, so not only are you gonna be late to work, but the toilet won't quit running and now you're probably just going to hafta move.

Or a black cat crosses your path, but it turns out that the black cat is really a black bear, and it eats ya.

What's that? You think we'll be all right? Oh, okay!

Monday the Thirteenth.

 So I think we shouldn't just shrug off the bad-luck things that happen today.  We should definitely be aware that these aren't just run-of-the-mill Monday Mayhem.  Oh, Mayhem's definitely involved for sure, but the Monday and the Thirteenthness of the Monday have combined forces and made a great, big, Muscled-Up Mad Mayhem.

I don't know what to tell us to do about this, either, except just be prepared.  Bring along a little extra gas tank for your car, in case Monday the Thirteenth has boogered up your gas gauge.  Bring your own KitKats and don't expect the break room vending machine to be cooperative today.  Bring sunglasses, snowboots, a hat, a warm blanket, and a pair of flip-flops, to plan for every weather eventuality.  Bring a hard hat, just in case.

We can't be too safe on Monday the Thirteenth, Friends.  We can't be too safe.