The Hair Ornament Menace

There's a bow in my hair, isn't there?

Hiya, Friends.  I know if you're over on the Facebook, you've heard me lament this unfortunate thing that's happening to me lately, but if you're not, perk up your ears and have a listen.

 Vava's been accessorizing me against my will.

That's right.  Little clippies.  Ribbon bows in my hair.  Looking at pictures, you'd think 'how cute!' and 'isn't that nice that Zoe's finally doing something for her hair instead of just letting it be crazy!'  But you wouldn't know the battle that's raging within the walls of my house over the hair ornaments.

You see, I don't agree to having these things put into my hair.  Honestly, who the heck would?  Not me, certainly!

Maybe I can use these hair ties to give myself a bowectomy.

That Vava, though.  She keeps trying.  She'll put in a clippy and tell me I look cute, and I just yell and pull it right out.  Every time Vava puts a thing in my hair, I yell and pull it out and fling it.  I don't waste time negotiating.  I don't fritter time away on diplomacy.  I just get that ornament out of my hair as soon as possible!

I was brought up without hair ornaments.  I can't help but notice that a lot of babies go around with headbands on their little bald heads, and I don't get it.  Why should you wear a hair ornament if you don't have any hair!  Plus, I don't think the little bald babies like the head bands much.  They don't seem to, anyway.

Who's Pebbles Flintstone?

And they look silly.

Then there's this hairbow I seem to have in my hair in these pictures.  Somebody said I look like Pebbles Flintstone with it in.  I don't even know who that is, Big People.  I didn't know, until I Googled Pebbles, and saw that her family's into vitamins.  She's cute, and she looks like a nice girl, and the ornament in her hair works for her.

Thing is, I don't wanna look like Pebbles Flintstone.  I wanna look like me, Zoe!  And the thing of it is, when I'm out and about and see other babies, wearing those silly headbands, they wanna know how I get out of it.  They wanna know how I've resisted so long.

Sometimes we hafta stoop to conquer!

Listen, Babies! I'm talking to you.  This is how you resist.  When your Mommy puts a head band on your bald head, or on your head if you're not bald and you just don't wanna wear it, wait for your Mommy to turn around, and then take that thing right off your head. It's the same way with a clippy or a barrette or a bow.  When your Mommy puts it in your hair, pull it right out of your hair.  Hopefully it isn't in so tight that it hurts ya when you take it out of your hair.  But if it does, it's a small price to pay to further our cause. 

If she doesn't get the hint that you don't wanna wear it after first couple-three times, stuff it under the nearest cushion.  Wrap it up with your blanket.  Do what you hafta do.  This is important, Babies!  This is our resistance!

Babies, we need to stop letting our Mommies accessorize us against our wills.  We need to press back.  We need to fight the power, to stop the Hair Ornament Menace.  Join with me tots and toddlers.  Together, we can banish the bow!