Color Conundrum!

Hello, Operator!  Zo-Zo on the line!  Quit monkeyin' around, mmmmkay?!

Well, Friends, this just tears it.  It's worse than terrible!  That darned ol' Mommy expects me to know my colors. 

I DO know my colors.  I know Purple: I have a sippy cup with a purple lid.  I have a thing I can put on my head to keep the rinse water out of my eyes when I have a bath, and that's purple.  I have purple clothes.  Mommy has a purple water bottle.  I know the color purple!

Blue, also!  I have my favorite bath toy that's blue.  It's a blue plastic pitcher.

Why didn't I just say 'Red!'?

I can pick out the color yellow, too.  Bananas are yellow!  I love bananas!  They're my favorite, whether they're cut up on my plate, or whether they come by the bunch!  Bananas are Okay in my book!  And they're yellow!  Cannot stress knowing that enough.

Now, I know the color Red.  But Red is the source of the current tension between me and my Mommy.  See, we have a red Jeep and a red Sassy Car (that I love, love LOVE!), and my Fubbles container for my bubbles is red.  I have red bows and red dresses and red shoes.  And the other night, we were out on the porch, and the township truck was parked in its spot, and Daddy asked me what color the truck is, and I said....

Green!

I know better!  I know that truck's red!  But I went and said "green!" and now Mommy's all up in my face about 'what color's this? what color's that?'

I like to make life interesting!

Everything she shows me is red!

Isn't that stupid?  Now, I understand Mommy showing me one thing and having me tell her the color, but when she holds up another thing that's the same color as the first thing she showed me, I feel a little like one of us is going crazy, and here's a hint: it isn't me!  If the red pillow you showed me ten seconds ago is the same color as that red blanket you're holding up now, then they're both red?  What do you want me to say, Mommy?  I'm bored of this game!

You know what I've been doing, these last coupla days, just to mess with Mommy's head?  I've been picking random colors to shout out when she holds up red things.  One minute, my red high chair is "Yellow!" and the next time Mommy asks, it's "Green!"  The Jeep's always red, but if Mommy's gonna keep asking me what color it is, it's going to keep changing from "Blue!" to "Purple!" to "Sweepie!"  "Sweepie" isn't really a color.  I'm just really getting into my game.

At least it makes things a little more fun for me, living life with a Mommy who asks the same stupid question every time I turn around.  I like life to be interesting.  I'll come clean if I see that Mommy's getting serious, like if she's looking to ship me off to some boot camp for toddlers to teach me my colors and how to use the potty.  I don't think I'd like toddler boot camp much.  So if I see Mommy's headed in that direction, I'll let her know what I did, and by 'let her know what I did,' I'll just start telling her the appropriate color names for the things she's showing me.  She'll think it's a miracle!  That'll set her mind at ease, and I won't hafta go to toddler boot camp!

It's always good to have an escape plan, Big People.  Remember that!