Iced Hot Cocoa: Isn't It Just Chocolate Milk?

Why, yes, I would like a summer-appropriate beverage!

Hiya, Big People! Well, now that it's summertime, I've noticed some commercials for a beverage that baffles the heck out of me. 

I'm talking about Iced Hot Cocoa.  I mean, what?

I understand this curious trend you Big People have, of taking a traditionally hot beverage, and pouring it over ice, to make it Iced Hot Beverage.  Iced Tea, I'm completely on board with.  I'm a fan, myself, namely because Iced Tea is paired up with lemon, usually, and when Mommy gets Iced Tea and we're out and about, I find a way to nick the lemon off her glass and enjoy that delicious citrus fruit all on its own.  Oh, it's so good!

I even understand Iced Coffee beverages, whether it's Iced Latte, Iced Cappuccino, or just plain Iced Coffee.  I get it.

You mean to tell me Iced Hot Chocolate is a thing?

Now, the thing that I don't understand is Iced Hot Cocoa or Iced Hot Chocolate.  I just don't get it.  See, I've helped Mommy make Hot Cocoa for us.  We heat up milk, and then add some sugar and powdered cocoa.  Or if we want to have Hot Cocoa fast, we get some hot water out of the Instant-Hot, and stir in some Hot Cocoa mix.  So if you want Iced Hot Cocoa, you take the milk, heat it up, add the sugar and cocoa, stir it up good, and then pour it over ice.

Ummm... that seems weird to me.  Why would you heat up the milk, only to pour it over ice cubes?  Wouldn't you be farther along on the Summer-Appropriate Beverage train if you just got the cold milk out of the fridge and put in some chocolate syrup and shook it up really good?  Because Iced Hot Cocoa sounds exactly like Chocolate Milk, but with an extra step or two.

What's the deal with making it hot before you make it cold, if all's you want is cold chocolate milk?

Solvin' problems, savin' steps: it's what I do!

Big People, you know I love ya.  I love ya lots.  I don't always understand ya, but I love ya.  But this thing with the Iced Hot Cocoa just weirds me right the heck out.  I don't understand why you don't just call it what it is: Chocolate Milk.  And then why won't you just take out the step of heating up the milk and pouring it over the ice.  You could even take some whipped cream and put it on top of your chocolate milk, so it's all fancy and you feel special, like I get to eat Jell-O at the Texas Hot in Downtown Wellsville.  They serve that Jell-O in such a fancy dish that you can't help but feel as though you're some kind of Very Important Person!  So if it makes ya feel special to squirt some whipped cream on your chocolate milk, you go right ahead, Friends.  You go right ahead!

I think one thing we can agree on is that cookies, which goes with Hot Cocoa as well as with Chocolate Milk, are delicious, and we should strive for five servings of cookies a day!  We'd all be happier, I think!